Dating in the 21st century is not easy. While some are spoilt for choice and cannot make up their mind about one person, others are fed up with pouring their hopes and ambitions into failed relationships. This is where courting comes into the picture, and I am here to help you with 21 tips for courting a woman by being a true gentleman.
So, for all the lads who are looking for a woman to grow old with, let’s get right to it and define courting a woman. The art of courting a woman is the intention to build a relationship that leads to marriage.
We all know that there are many fish in the sea to choose from but if you truly want something that lasts a lifetime, you need to do something that most guys out there aren’t. Because believe it or not, there is something about courting a woman that tips the scales in your favor.
21 Tips For Courting A Woman
When people hear the words ‘courtship’ or ‘courting a woman’, they often think of it as outdated. But that is far from the truth. While there are some differences of courting a woman then and now, the goal remains the same: building a healthy relationship with the individual that finally leads to marriage.
Now that you are here and are looking for tips and examples, chances are you have already made up your mind about what you want from a relationship and half your battle is won.
When you are courting a woman, it is important to focus on impressing her and gaining her heart politely and honestly. You want her to adore you and start dating you. And, most importantly, you aren’t pursuing her just to sleep with her.
Courting is a lovely, compassionate, and sincere experience. It’s something that’s sorely lacking these days, and most women will appreciate it. So, what’s stopping you from learning the art of courting a woman? Prepare to become a pro with these 21 tips for courting a woman:
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1. Focus on compatibility
The foundation of any relationship is compatibility. This rings true especially in courtship because the intention is to focus on the long-term sustainability between the two of you.
Talk about your individual goals and map them out with the possibilities of sharing a future. Sometimes that can mean literally mapping them out if either one of you plans to move elsewhere. In that case, you will be courting a woman in a long distance relationship. Is that something you’re prepared for? This is exactly why assessing compatibility becomes crucial when courting a woman.
2. Set a clear intention
Having clarity about your intentions with a woman is important; the most basic groundwork that needs to be done is to know and state your intentions clearly when courting. The more clarity you have on this, the better will be the outcome of your courtship.
3. Know thyself
While I am here to help you with the art of courting a woman by being a true gentleman, it becomes difficult to do so unless you already know yourself well. You should never be the problem in your relationship.
It is easy to understand what we wish to have in our better half, but it is even more important for you to be aware of the direction of your life. Work on yourself; the more you are in touch with yourself, the more you will be in touch with your love.
4. Fellas, befriend her before you fall for her
We’ve had quite a few readers ask, “Why do all courting a woman tips take time?” Well, David, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your relationship. Because you’re courting, it’s already known to her that you’re searching for more than a casual relationship. This will also help you foster a genuine friendship with her. Consequently, you’ll know her better. As the courtship progresses you will see signs that you are moving from friends to lovers.
5. Learn about the people she spends her time with
Humans are social beings, and our personalities reflect in the kind of people we surround ourselves with.
This logic dictates that you not just make an effort to get to know your potential partner but also those closest to her. It is important in courtship to know the people you will be meeting regularly as the relationship progresses. Familiarize yourself with her inner circle. Not in an intrusive manner, but to be involved in her life.
6. Courting is not about the sex
I have a cousin who is currently going through early adulthood (or should I say struggling with it?). Just a few weeks ago, he reached out to me because he had something very important to share. When I met him, the first words out of his mouth were, “My hormones are going crazy.” So was his relationship in my opinion.
What I want you to take away from this is that most times, once sex is introduced and if it is any good, it will cloud your judgment and you may end up veering off-track.
7. Don’t be a player
This is the courting a woman meaning very few know and it is very logical, isn’t it? For you to be able to find one compatible partner, you need to be as involved as possible in the process with one person. You wish to be a compatible match with them in the future, right?
If courtship is not working out well or you have already figured out that the two of you are incompatible, be honest with her about it and end the courtship.
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8. It is NOT a fool’s errand
Breaking up with someone while dating is quite common, and sometimes a courtship may have to end as well but it is not the end of the world. You cannot fail at courtship, as there is always a lesson you can learn from any failed relationship.
Take your time when looking for your partner while courting, and if she isn’t the ideal one for you, look for someone else. Remember gents, the goal is to find a compatible partner and there can be no failure in that.
9. Meet the family
This one can be missing in a few courtships, especially if the individuals live away from home. Involving the parents then comes at a later stage. But you need to remember that a courtship is also about families; it’s essential for both the families to approve of the other partner for smooth sailing.
George Bernard Shaw wrote, “A happy family is but an earlier heaven.”
10. Make your partner feel secure
A gentleman makes sure his girlfriend is happy in a relationship and tries not to whine about minor issues. He tries to ensure that his partner is comfortable being herself and feels appreciated at all times.
Women want a partner who meets their vulnerability with love, compassion, and patience. Emotional intelligence is important to women in a relationship. Someone who invites them to open up, by showing that there is space for them. Be that person by making her feel valued, cherished, and loved.
11. Be a ‘gentle’ man – Courting a woman meaning you need to know
Yes, women like gentlemen, not dudes engaged in a toxic masculinity contest. What they also don’t like are unreliable men, and I don’t want you to confuse gentleness with cowardice or passivity. Gentleness by itself, when bundled with kindness and compassion, is heart-warming and wonderful.
Come to think of it, women and men both long for someone to make them feel so safe that they can lean in and surrender and show their true selves.
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What I mean by this is be absolutely honest with the woman you want to court. Make your vision about the relationship clear to her. Don’t waste your time pursuing a girl only to discover that she doesn’t share your interests.
But, but, but don’t scare her off by immediately hinting at a life 20 years into the future. Take it slow and eventually let her know about what you are looking for. If the two of you want different things, don’t be disheartened; you will find the one with time.
13. Know the differences of courting a woman then and now
As I have already mentioned, some people view courtship as a thing reserved for religious or conservative people. This is totally not the case. You don’t have to wait to have till marriage to kiss or have sex for religious reasons, you can modernize it after talking to your partner about what she is comfortable with.
When dating, for most couples whether to have sex or not is never a question. “It just happens.” But as you may have already understood, it is different with courting. Boundaries around physical and emotional intimacy must be discussed, along with consent.
14. Don’t be a sexist
This is the courting a woman meaning very few know. You cannot go around trying to get a girl to fall in love with you if you still subscribe to the patriarchal approach our societies and cultures are built on.
Understand that she has an equal say in the important decisions. Treat her as you wish to be treated. Don’t belittle her. Don’t compare her to other women. Don’t be a male chauvinistic pig.
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15. It is not a gaming arcade
It just so happens that we are often driven by the tendencies of our previous relationships. Sometimes the problems we faced in a previous relationship will spill over into a new one in the form of emotional baggage. I want you to be very conscious of this at every moment – no games over ‘who texts whom first’.
There are books written on the art of courting a woman and they all offer one clear takeaway: when you are looking for a life partner there is no time for games. More importantly, if the woman you are courting is into playing these games, then do you really want to be with her?
16. Be the initiator
How do you define courting a woman, you ask? Never be immature or petty. Don’t test each other on who’s going to make the first move. If you want to meet her after several days of not seeing each other, don’t wait for her to be the one who has to remind you. Rather, ask her out on a date.
17. Check in on her
Make sure to have a conversation every now and then with her about her view on where the relationship is going. Do not go around projecting your feelings and wishes onto her. Ask her questions to and work on building emotional intimacy.
Make a mental note of her inputs and feel free to give your own. Work on any imbalances and ask her if she is at the same point as you before closing yourself off to other avenues.
18. Wait and see, patience is the key
This happened: a couple I know had been in a courtship for nearly three years and had decided to marry once they met a financial goal. However, due to work obligations, the man had to relocate outside the country. This pushed their timeline significantly behind.
It has been five years since then, they are married and have a baby. In a nutshell, they waited for each other, he learned how to continue courting a woman long distance, completed his tenure, came back home and built a family with her.
19. Need a few courting a woman tips? Women. Love. Presents
One of the things women enjoy the most in a relationship is receiving presents. These presents don’t always have to be so extravagant that they break the bank. But they DO have to be thoughtful.
The idea is to make the woman you’re courting feel special and cared for. You don’t have to be wealthy to do so. Bring her favorite food, pay attention to her recent wishes, give her a handcrafted gift. It’s sweeter this way because women appreciate the effort more than price tags.
20. Careful with the words
In the dating universe, an ‘I love you’ is as common as a ‘hi’. In fact, people fall in love every few months with a different person and drop the previous one like it’s nothing. When you are courting, this cannot happen at any cost.
Save the ‘honey’, ‘love’, ‘babe’ to when the both of you have made up your mind about the relationship. Just make sure that you really mean the ‘I love you’ and are willing to accept her as she is. Until that happens there other ways for you to express your love without actually saying it.
21. Be transparent about your financial goals
Money and managing your finances can be one of the most stressful aspects of a marriage. If not handled well money issues can ruin your relationship. This is a fact most couples realize late in their marriage. Learning about each other’s financial habits before getting married is beneficial in analyzing each other’s spending habits and financial goals.
Unless you want to be the couple who always has a conflict about how one is a ‘saver’ and the other a ‘spender’. The truth is we all are spenders when it comes to things that we like.
Hope you liked these courting a woman tips and tricks, and may this make your courtship process easier and happier. When someone asks you to define courting a woman, send this piece their way. These tips are not absolute and you will have to act according to your partner’s personality, to make your courtship story unique in itself.