Often, with the gradual progression of a relationship, the dull routine of life devours the romance out of your lovely bond. Your boss is keeping you on your toes with the deadlines, there’s always too much work to do in the house, or you’ve got to look after your kids. And when the first casualty is the spark in your bedroom, thoughts like “How to please a man?” are bound to cross your mind.
Even though there’s a lot of love between the two of you, it’s only natural for the sex life to continually chart southward. That’s especially the case once the intoxicating high of a new relationship wears off and you start to get more settled with each other. In such cases, sex may become routine, unimaginative, and it may seem like your romantic heyday is behind you.
Whether that’s been happening to you, or if you just want to know how to knock his socks off in bed, you’ve come to the right place. Let’s take a look at how to please a man, so you never have to say something like “Remember all the wild sex we ‘used’ to have?”
How To Please A Man: 16 Tips To Help You Out
Of course, understanding how to please a man sexually is only one-half of the equation. He must also make an effort to meet your needs equally. You’re not the only one who needs to be making all this effort since being the giver constantly will exhaust you sooner or later. So, while you’re figuring out how to pleasure a guy, also make sure that the pleasuring isn’t just one-sided.
When trying to understand how to please a man in bed, the first thing you need to know is that improving communication is the only way forward. He may not open up to you about what he wants because he’s afraid of being judged or because he thinks you won’t do it. If you’re truly committed to comprehending how to turn a guy on, tell him to have an honest conversation with you about it, no matter how wild the conversation itself might get. See? We’re already starting on a good note.
Studies suggest that sex promotes a stronger and more positive connection between two partners, and that’s a whole lot easier when you know exactly what to do. Without further ado, let’s figure out how to please your man so that the toe-curling orgasms can find their way back into your bedroom.
1. Be open to trying new things
In your journey toward understanding how to satisfy a man, try not to be rigid. Keep an open mind and consider the possibility of trying out new things or doing that thing he likes that you never do in bed. Only if you are okay with it too, of course, and not if it triggers a trauma or brings up any discomfort for you. So, if there’s something he has asked you to do in the past but you’ve always brushed past it, maybe surprise him with it every once in a while. Needless to say, he’s going to be over the moon.
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2. Understanding how to pleasure a man begins with communication
As we mentioned, the first step in understanding how to arouse a man is to listen to what he wants. You may do everything your friends and the internet tell you to do, but if he’s not into any of those things, they’re not going to work.
So, before you start pulling out all the big guns and doing the things you ‘think’ you should be doing, make sure to ask him what he even wants. For all you know, the only thing he needs might be super easy to do, but something you never thought he’d be into. For example, he may need his own space for a bit after sex, or he may be the kind who wants to spend quality time with you after sex. The more you talk to him, the more you’ll understand how to please a man.
3. Date nights can be a great way of bonding
It’s important to know that the answer to “How to pleasure my husband?” doesn’t always begin and end inside the bedroom. If your relationship is the kind that has suffered from dwindling intimacy over the past few years, making an effort to reconnect emotionally can also help you reconnect sexually.
So, put aside all those deadlines and all the chores you’ll never get to and spend quality time with your partner. Get some good food, drink some wine, and watch some movie that’d help you both get in the mood and get some action by the end of the night.
4. Bring out that lingerie
Let’s get a bit more practical and talk about how to turn a guy on, like, right now. It’s no surprise that men are visual creatures, that is, seeing things that excite them usually works best on them. So dig out that red lingerie that’s somewhere in your cupboard and put it on. Better yet, wear a bathrobe on top of it, and surprise him with the lingerie by taking your bathrobe off when he least expects it. It’ll get things started.
5. Tell him how attractive you think he is
When you tell a man just how incredibly handsome you find him, he’s going to feel good about himself and special as well. He’ll be elated when he knows how attractive his partner thinks he is. Giving him compliments is one of the best ways to please a man.
You won’t even have to do much for this one. During foreplay, tell him why you’re so attracted to him and how his physical features turn you on. Honestly, there’s nothing he’d like to hear more at that moment.
6. Dial up the foreplay, that’s how to satisfy a man
If you can’t recall the last time you spent a considerable amount of effort on foreplay, that’s exactly where you’re going wrong. Re-introduce foreplay into your life, but this time, take it up a notch. Do things you’ve never done before, tell him you want to pleasure him today, and ask him what he’d like for you to do to him. You can also make things a bit more exciting by teasing and tempting him a bit, which is bound to get him in the mood.
7. Wondering how to please a man? Be a little mischievous
Have you ever considered sexting your man? Have you ever talked dirty to him in public? Or perhaps thought of touching him a bit in the car? Let your imagination run wild, and don’t be afraid to do a few naughty things. If he’s into that kind of stuff, you’ve just figured out how to pleasure a man.
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8. Get him excited for sex
When he starts looking forward to it, you won’t even have to spend any time pondering the question “How to please my boyfriend?” Send him a dirty photo or two, and tell him you’re going to “do things to him” tonight. Keep the foreplay going for a bit longer, and tell him he’s not allowed to touch you while you tease him with a few kisses.
While you’re seducing him, you’re going to see him way too excited to be able to control it, and that’s exactly how to pleasure a guy before the sex even starts.
9. Get skillful with it
There are a lot of ways to have intercourse or oral sex, and they all depend on how comfortable you are during it and whether you know what you need to do to make him feel better. If you’re looking to understand how to satisfy a man in 60 seconds, make sure you learn a few new tricks to get better at the act of intercourse and oral sex.
To be honest, this might be the best way to please a man. To get better at it, you can always try out a few new sex positions, read up on how to give oral sex, and ask him what he’d like for you to do specifically. Let him guide you.
10. During sex, be a bit more into it
That means, take control. Continuing on the tangent of “how to satisfy a man in 60 seconds”, taking control in bed is one of the sexiest ways you can do that. Men find it extremely hot when they see that their partner is just as into sex as they are. And when their partner gets on top or takes more control of the act, it’s a sure-fire way to make him go crazy.
Next time, try out positions like the cowgirl or the reverse cowgirl where you have more control because you’re riding him. As with most other things, ask him what he prefers and give it to him.
11. Knowing how to please a man depends on being selfless
While sex is an act that can feel great for both of you (when done right), you might feel like you’re doing all the work if you’re giving him oral sex or any other form of foreplay. Since you’re trying to understand how to please a man in bed, it’s worth noting that you’re going to have a be a bit selfless during the whole thing.
Forget about debates like “Who feels more pleasure, males or females during sex?” and approach the situation with a selfless mind. As we mentioned, this whole thing is going to work better when he holds up his end of the deal as well and makes sure he pleasures you too. Once you know he’ll do that, it’ll be easier to be selfless. At the end of the day, it all ties down to communication and wanting to make each other feel good.
12. Add a few elements in bed
Try out the things you see in the movies, like all those ice cubes Christian Grey swears by, or all the chocolate syrup you’ve always heard about. There is a plethora of sex toys available out there, and there’s absolutely no reason that you shouldn’t get your hands on one that might work for him (and you!). You might have to get your credit cards out on your quest to figure out how to please your man, but we’d argue it’s a small price to pay.
13. Try out new sex positions
One of the simplest ways to figure out how to please a man sexually is by trying out new sex positions you’ve never played around with in the past. Perhaps you’re the kind who always sticks with good ol’ missionary, and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, try to spice things up with a bit of doggy style or even something more complicated like the criss-cross. The answer to “What does sex feel like for men?” changes a bit with every position you try, so make sure to keep experimenting and communicating.
Related Reading: Why Do Guys Distance Themselves After Intimacy?
14. Have a good time with him
No, we don’t mean in the bedroom. Jessie, a 28-year-old architect explains. “I kept obsessing over how to pleasure my husband for the longest time, and tried everything from giving him oral sex to sending him dirty messages. Turns out, he isn’t the kind who unwinds by constantly dreaming about sex. Instead, all he wanted to do was chill with me.
“We ordered in, put on a movie, and guzzled down all the beers we had in the fridge. I was trying so hard to figure out how to arouse a man to get closer to him but turns out, that’s not what I needed to do in the first place.” Just by being there for him and establishing a closer emotional connection, you may well be able to gain expertise in how to please a man.
15. Switch up the locations
What does sex feel like for men? Most will agree that the thrill, the feeling, and the sensations change with the locations. If you’re too bored of always doing it in your bedroom, try doing it in a few new locations in your house. Who said you needed a bed to have sex? Roll back the years and act like you two just got in a new relationship.
16. Make sure you initiate sex
It’s true that men pursue sex more avidly than women, so they may end up initiating sex in their relationship all the time. By surprising him and getting a bit naughty without him asking for it, you may realize that that’s all you needed to do. Just like Raquel did. She shares, “I thought I tried everything. I gave him oral sex, I tried to take control, and we even sexted for a while. When he still expressed his dissatisfaction, I frankly got very upset.
“After a heated conversation, he told me that all he wanted me to do was surprise him a bit by being the one to initiate sex, instead of waiting for him to do so like I usually did. I had never thought of that since I always assumed that’s something he liked to do, but I’m glad we had this conversation. Who knew how to please my boyfriend would be as easy as taking his shirt off and dimming the lights?”
How to please a man generally depends on how well you know the man. You need to talk to him about what he likes and dislikes and be a bit selfless in bed to put the focus on him. Talk dirty to him, lead up to it, seduce him, and you’ll realize that mind-blowing sex doesn’t have to be all that complicated.
Forget about the general questions like “Who feels more pleasure, male or female?” or “What do males like more?” and treat your dynamic as what it is: special. The ways to please him are going to be different for you than they might be for anybody else, so make sure you try them all out, by talking and experimenting together.