We have always assumed that women enjoy romance more than men do, largely thanks to romantic movies. And while there may be examples of that, we are starting to see that men and women seem to enjoy romance equally. But you may ask yourself, “What is romance to a man?” In this article, we will look at 13 things men find incredibly romantic.
What Does Romance Mean To A Man?
Contrary to popular belief, men and women don’t differ all that much in how they fall in love. The famous 1992 book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus pushed the idea that gender differences in psychology are the leading cause of relationship conflict. It turns out that the simple answer to ‘what is romance to a man versus a woman?’ is that we actually like a lot of the same things.
The premise of the above book has been widely criticized and is now largely debunked. Modern neuroscience is now showing that there is no such thing as a ‘male’ brain or a ‘female’ brain, just as there’s no such thing as male lungs and female lungs. All of the so-called ‘gender differences’ (which are minuscule at best) that we take for granted are largely social constructs that we have internalized.
Hence, men are about as romantic as women in their relationships. The stereotypical tough guy who rarely shows affection is most likely just acting out a perceived gender role that he has absorbed from society. So let’s answer this today: What is romance to a man and how can a woman be romantic to her husband?
Related Reading: Best Ways to Rekindle Romance in A Relationship
What Is Romance To A Man – 13 Things Men Find Incredibly Romantic
Gone are the days when you had to explain romance to a man. But how can a woman be romantic to her husband who still believes in maintaining a macho exterior? Look no further. These 13 romantic gestures will have you sweeping him off of his feet.
1. Dressing up for him sometimes
While it is not acceptable for your man to control the way you dress, you can sometimes choose to dress for him in something you know he likes to see. This will keep the spark in your relationship alive and will let him know that you understand him and his desires. It could mean suiting up for an evening at his favorite restaurant or wearing some lingerie that he likes if sex is on the agenda.
2. Casual displays of affection
Those random touches and pecks on the cheek during the day are a great way to be romantic with your boyfriend at home. These displays of affection are sure to make your romantic partner feel seen and validated. They will also keep the mood romantic throughout the day, regardless of whether or not you are hinting at sex.
Some ways you can show your man affection are:
- Peck on the cheek
- Shoulder squeeze
- Touch on the forearm
- Quick hug
A Reddit user says, “Her cuddling into me, being physically affectionate and taking me by surprise with it. Or just being thoughtful, e.g., popping to the shop and picking me something up without being prompted. It’s the simple things in relationships/dating that make the biggest difference.”
3. Random flirty texts or notes
When you romance a man on phone, you’ll probably let him know that you’re thinking about him even though you’re apart. It’s the same with the written word. Sending your man an unexpected flirty text in the middle of the day is a great way to romance a man with words. When he’s at work, he’s either focusing on a task or wondering why time slows down during office hours, so a surprise flirty text from you will definitely put a smile on his face.
When you’ve been hanging out for a while and you’re just enjoying each other’s company, a flirty note with a compliment around his workspace or wardrobe will surely keep the romance alive. Leaving flirty notes around the house is also a great alternative form of foreplay if sex is on the table.
Some things you can say over text or in a note are:
- Hey, stranger. Stop being a stranger
- This is me asking you out. Want to get coffee on Saturday?
- Nobody gets me like you do
- Hey! Stop thinking about me so much!
- Can we just call in sick tomorrow and spend the whole day together?
Related Reading: Addictive Flirty Texting: 70 Texts That Will Make Him Want You More
4. What is romance to a man who is dealing with insecurities? Asking him for help
This may seem like a no-brainer because men love to help even when no one asks. But if you, in particular, ask your man for help with something and follow it up with some loving gratitude, you’ll leave him feeling like he’s walking on a cloud. It lets him know you respect his opinion.
One Reddit user shared his opinion on how men like to be romanced: “Weirdly, by asking us for help. Most men like to feel needed. If you ask your man for some help in the garden, with a DIY project, and follow it up with genuine gratitude, kindness and thanks, I promise you he’ll feel valuable and really good about himself.” This help could be anything – asking for suggestions before buying a new smartphone, or asking him to fix an electronic gadget, and so on.
5. Helping him out when he’s busy is a great way to romance him
The opposite is just as true. When your partner is having a hectic day, running a couple of errands for him can go a long way in making him feel valued. Especially when he doesn’t ask for help. It lets him know you’re thinking about his comfort.
Another Reddit user in the same thread put it like this: “Everyone is different but I like it when they do something to make my life easier. Be it mailing that package I’ve been trying to get out, picking up more of my favorite coffee creamer because you noticed I was running low, or any number of small things. It’s really the fact they thought about me that matters.”
6. Sharing memorable experiences
If two people are just going through life on autopilot and occasionally having sex, that’s more of a situationship than a relationship. Memorable experiences are the glue that holds relationships together and help couples connect emotionally.
The experiences don’t have to be epic like a trip around the world. They can be as simple as this Reddit user suggests, “Do romantic things like go on walks at night, eat out at nice restaurants, lie down in the grass and watch the stars, have a glass of wine when the sun is setting, take a sexy shower together, cuddle in bed and watch a movie or play a game, sleep naked together. Those are just suggestions. The important thing is that you do the things you want to do.”
Related Reading: 7 Non-Sexual Couple Things To Do Over A Weekend
7. Telling him a secret about yourself
We all have secrets. Embarrassing stories from our past, times when we hurt someone’s feelings or when we broke someone’s heart, things that we wish never happened. The kind of incidents that make us cringe when the memory comes up. Sharing one of these stories puts you in a vulnerable position and tells your boyfriend that you feel safe to share it with him. This helps him be vulnerable too, thus deepening your relationship.
8. Sharing a laugh with him
It’s become a bit of a cliche – A man cracks a dad joke and his partner rolls their eyes at him in exasperation. But what would happen if you laughed at his next dad joke? Would it hurt your relationship or strengthen it? According to research, sharing a laugh with your significant other has been proven to strengthen the bond between romantic partners.
9. Taking an interest in his interests
Men love sharing their interests with people, especially with their significant other. So, if you ask sincere questions regarding the stuff he’s passionate about, he will instantly feel validated and loved. A Reddit user had this to say, “Depends on the individual. I would like something like an activity day together, something like a climbing center or rally car day. But I guess some people would hate this. But just a special bottle of malt whisky or wine to share together and chill would do too.”
Some things you can do to show him you care:
- Buy two tickets to a sport or music event he wants to go to, or plan that nature walk that he has been forgetting to book for months
- Take him shopping for gear or gadgets (electronics, sports, music, etc.) or stationery and art supplies, or appliances for his latest obsession, like baking
- Surprise him with a weekend trip to a destination he loves
Related Reading: Are Common Interests In Relationships The Most Important Factor?
10. Woo your man by dancing together
It may seem obvious but dancing together is a great way to be romantic with your husband. Whether you hit the dance floor or dance at home, this activity is one of the oldest and most reliable in strengthening romantic relationships. A study found that dancing together fosters a positive relationship experience but only in the case of ‘harmonious passion.’
If your partner is a newbie at dance, the point of the experience is to share a laugh at all the mistakes he is bound to make. On the other hand, if your romantic partner’s inability to dance triggers a negative response in you, it is known as ‘obsessive passion’ and will have a negative effect on your relationship. So, only suggest this activity if you’re self-aware.
11. Do something elaborate for date night
While it is usually the little things that add up to make a relationship work, it doesn’t hurt to go all out every once in a while to keep the romance alive. One Reddit user describes a surprise date night his significant other organized, “She picked me up unexpectedly one night, blindfolded me, drove around to disorient me and we ended up at the beach. She had blankets and drinks. We spent the night on the beach under the stars.” Big romantic gestures like these show that you’re making an effort.
Other grand gestures you can make are:
- Surprise him with an evening at an upscale fine dining restaurant
- Book a plush hotel room at the fanciest hotel in town
- Take him for a late night drive through the most scenic route you know
- Hire a plane to write something romantic in the sky
12. Having deep, meaningful conversations
Deep conversations are a great way to get to know your boyfriend on a deeper level. Asking him about his philosophical outlook on life will let him know that you are genuinely interested in him. And this goes a long way in strengthening the bond you share. A candle-lit dinner would be the icing on the cake for such conversations. This is a superb way to romance a man with words.
Related Reading: 45 Questions To Ask Your Husband For A Heart-To-Heart Conversation
13. Scheduling device-free nights
If there’s one thing that kills romance, it’s our devices. Constantly checking WhatsApp breaks the connection between you and your man for a few moments. So, rather than romance a man on phone, why not put your devices away for a night of intimacy, so you can be romantic with your boyfriend at home? Being fully present with tons of lingering eye contact is the best thing you can do for a hopeless romantic.
- Contrary to popular belief, men are as romantic as women and absolutely appreciate being romanced for a change
- Dressing up for him, casual displays of affection, and random flirty texts or notes are great tools for a slow seduction
- Helping him with some chores, taking an interest in his interests, and sharing a laugh with him are some other ways to woo your boyfriend or husband and make him feel valued
If you’re struggling to figure out ‘what is romance to a man?’, these tips are sure to work. They play a huge part in keeping the spark alive by making him feel loved. Men love to romance their wife/husband/partner but can get it wrong sometimes. So, rather than trying to explain romance to a man, why not make him feel special by romancing him for a change?