125 Questions To Deepen Relationship And Really Connect With Your Partner

Love and Romance | | , Expert Blogger
Updated On: February 16, 2024
questions to deepen relationship

You can be married to someone for ten years or be in a deep relationship and yet, one fine morning, you may wake up and discover your spouse or partner has a knack for tap dancing or perhaps, they give awesome neck massages. That’s the fascinating part about relationships. It’s an ongoing learning process for as long as you are together. If two partners in a romantic relationship feel that there is still a lot left unknown about each other, it’s probably because they are overlooking the key element to developing a profound bond. That missing link, my friend, is probably a meaningful conversation. Believe it or not, asking each other thoughtful questions to deepen your relationship works like a charm!

In the early phase of a relationship, people tend to connect on a superficial level. They only reveal that shade of their personality which is sure to impress their partner. But as time passes by and you slowly grow on each other, it’s better to unveil your true self. From the most difficult emotions to the fun stories of falling in love for the first time, you should be able to explore the whole nine yards of each other. And it’s recommended for a deeper connection and a healthy relationship.

That brings us back to the question “How to connect with your partner on a deeper level?” Well, out of the many ways to deepen your relationship, intimacy-building questions never fail. We will offer you a solid line-up of questions to improve communication in a relationship and build a level of trust so strong that you can both stand together against all odds. So, we hope these couple bonding questions help you strengthen your relationship and make it last long.

125 Questions To Deepen Your Relationship With Your Partner

Lack of communication isn’t just an issue among unmarried partners in a deep relationship. Married couples, too, sometimes realize that even after sharing a home and children, the magic in the relationship has faded away. They are left wondering, “Why are we growing apart in this marriage?” The honest answer to this is that life happened. After long, tiring days at work and taking care of the kids, you are both too drained to have soulful communication.

Yes, you recount everyday events and nod at each other’s stories. But do you really TALK? Do you bother to ask deep questions about love to get to know your partner better? When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart? Do you know the issues your partner is facing lately in their professional life? Just because you have been together for so long, it doesn’t always make you a know-it-all. You can’t overrule the importance of efforts pouring in from both sides, especially when you are all for “How to deepen a relationship and build trust?”

You have a beautiful journey ahead of you, and asking questions to connect with your partner will only benefit you and this relationship in the long run. If you give these questions to deepen intimacy a fair shot, you will be surprised how much you can still discover about your partner even after years of togetherness. So, to foster a deeper connection and create a happy and safe space for each other, take a look at our collection of 125 questions to deepen your relationship:

Related Reading: 51 Deep Relationship Questions To Ask For A Better Love Life

Relationship-building questions to ask your partner

Can we assume that it’s the post-honeymoon phase and you are still thinking “Wow, I love this person! I believe we have a real shot at something beautiful in the future”? You know what, nothing makes us happier than seeing a couple feel loved and content in each other’s presence. At the same time, when you are starting to take this seriously, the questions of “How to connect with your partner on a deeper level?” or “How to develop a nurturing, healthy relationship?” float around.

When you are building the foundation of a relationship, you need to tick a few things off the checklist. For instance, do your values and morals align? What are your partner’s views on love and commitment? What are their aspirations in life? Do you have any shared interest to bond over? To get cracking at “How to deepen a relationship?,” it’s important to fathom each other’s heart and soul and understand them for who they are. These questions are also some of the deep questions to ask your girlfriend or boyfriend.

You probably realize that the most crucial part of this ‘get to know each other’ journey is asking questions. And some of these intimate questions to ask your partner can also serve as bonding questions for couples to build a functioning relationship from scratch or revive a struggling relationship if that’s what you are looking for. So, here they are:

intimacy building questions
“What do you think makes us compatible as a romantic couple?”

1. What is the most important thing for you to keep a relationship alive?

2. What characteristics of mine make me likable according to you?

3. Do you feel you have changed at all since we started dating?

4. What is your idea of spending quality time together as a couple?

5. What is the one thing you would never compromise in a relationship?

6. Tell me about your love language.

7. What are your views on marriage and kids?

8. What do you think makes us compatible as a romantic couple?

9. How can I be more supportive, or where should I put more effort to make this relationship work?

10. What is your best memory of us?

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11. Could you walk me through your political and religious views?

12. How do you think people feel in a healthy relationship?

13. What is your biggest fear in terms of dating?

14. Name three things you wish me to change about myself.

15. How do you think a couple should share the load of household chores?

16. How would you describe a perfect day in our life?

17. What can I do to make you feel like nineteen all over again?

18. Where do you see us in the next five years?

19. What is your most favorite activity/time of the day?

20. What’s your idea of a dream vacation for us as a couple?

21. What are your ways of showing affection or expressing your feelings to your loved ones?

22. Do you think we are both emotionally available in this relationship, and could we improve this in any way?

23. How do you feel about long-term commitment?

24. If I ever have to move for my job, would you like to relocate with me?

25. Does your parents’ marriage affect or define our relationship in any way?

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Deep questions to build trust in a relationship 

There is a reason why we recommend these deep questions to ask your girlfriend or boyfriend. Perhaps you have grown up with affectionate friends and family and had a wonderful life. Naturally, trusting people comes more spontaneously to you. But this may not be the case with everyone. In the process of growing up, awful incidents like one’s parents’ divorce, broken relationships, and betrayal in friendships, can leave us pretty shaken.

By the time we reach our mid-twenties, it gets extremely difficult to exit our shells to establish complete faith in one person. Unless you start asking deep questions about love to improve communication in a relationship, how else will you see through your partner’s insecurities and earn their confidence and respect? Your genuineness should reflect on both your actions and words so the other person can depend on you and it applies both ways. So, here’s where these deep questions to ask your girlfriend or boyfriend come in handy.

When you plan on welcoming a new person into your life and creating something meaningful together, the first thing you want is to make them feel at home, safe and secure. Only trust has the power to develop that kind of deeper connection between two people. One of the ways to deepen your relationship and build trust is to create a list of intimate questions to ask your partner. So, here’s a list of some get-to-know-you questions for couples with utmost honesty:

26. What does it take for you to trust a person completely?

27. Are you able to maintain your individuality despite being in this relationship?

28. What does being content mean to you, be it in a relationship or in life, from a broader perspective?

29. How do you feel about lying in a relationship and when was the last time you lied?

30. Did you ever catch me lying to you and didn’t say anything about it?

31. Have I ever hurt you deeply and never apologized for it?

32. Do you think we are equals in this relationship?

33. Do you ever feel I am taking you for granted?

34. If we ever find out that either of us is having an affair, how do you think that would change the course of our relationship?

35. How can I support you emotionally when you are going through a rough phase?

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36. Between us, can you express your feelings and thoughts openly?

37. What makes you insecure in a relationship?

38. What are your thoughts on couples knowing each other’s passwords? Do you consider it to be an important thing?

39. Do you find any toxic trait or pattern of your previous relationships repeating itself in our relationship?

40. Do you think we fight fair?

41. Tell me about one incident that happens to be your biggest regret in relationships.

42. Is there anything you want to talk to me about but can’t for whatever reason it may be?

43. Do you have any doubt about my intentions and commitment toward this relationship? What can I do to resolve your dilemma?

44. Do I make you feel like walking on eggshells around me?

45. Tell me three things you want us to set as couple goals.

46. How do you picture our future home?

47. Is there anything we can do to improve our conflict resolution strategies?

48. What are your thoughts on romantic partners being friends? Do you think we are good friends?

49. Do I ‘listen’ to you or do my communication skills need some polishing?

50. What are your thoughts on gender roles in terms of household chores?

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Romantic questions to deepen the relationship

How does one frame questions you should know about your partner and yet not sound too serious? Let’s take a short break from all the seriousness and get into some cute, romantic intimacy-building questions for couples and establish an emotional connection with your partner. With these questions for intimacy, you can find out if your romantic ideas align with your partner’s.

Perhaps you believe there is one perfect person for everyone in this world. And since you two began dating, it seems to you that you have found ‘the one’. But your partner probably thinks two people need to get to know each other, fall in love, and work hard on the relationship to keep it alive. There’s no such thing as soulmates for them. It’s good to know if you are on the same page. Even if not, they should know how you value their opinion. 

Plus, these intimate questions to ask your partner reveal a lot about your emotional and physical compatibility. Revisiting these romantic questions to deepen intimacy from time to time will help you determine whether you are more emotionally invested in this relationship than your partner and if your feelings and efforts are being reciprocated. On that note, let’s dive into the best questions to deepen relationship romantically:

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51. What is your definition of a perfect date night?

52. What made you fall in love with me?

53. Do you believe in the concept of soulmates?

54. How comfortable are you with PDA?

55. What do you appreciate most about our relationship?

56. If you had a superpower, where would you take us for a romantic vacation?

57. How important is the role of monogamy in your romantic relationships?

58. Which one do you like more: big romantic gestures or surprises?

59. What qualities do you look for in a romantic partner?

60. What is that one thing I do that turns you on instantly?

61. Did I make a good first impression? What did you think of me?

Related Reading: 13 Signs You Are Deeply In Love With Someone

62. Would you rather go on a road trip with me or spend some quiet time in a bed and breakfast?

63. Do you have any sexual fantasies that you would like us to give a go?

64. When do you feel the most connected with me emotionally?

65. Have you ever fallen in love at first sight?

66. Is there any movie or book that reminds you of us?

67. What makes you jealous in our relationship?

68. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate our first date?

69. Which non-sexual physical touch do you love the most?

70. If I ask you to compliment my best feature/trait, how would that go?

71. What can I do to make you feel loved and taken care of? Do I already do it?

72. Which part of the body do you find the most sensual?

73. What are the deal breakers for you in a romantic relationship?

74. What matters to you more: physical or emotional connection?

75. What is the best part about dating me?

Deep questions about childhood to strengthen your bond

Now that we have covered the bonding questions for couples, let’s focus solely on your partner. And what could be a better starting point for getting to know your bae than their long trail of childhood tales? You know how the memories and experiences from our adolescence contribute a big deal in shaping us as the adults that we are today. So, let’s focus on questions you should know about your partner to make your bond stronger.

If you can get a glimpse of their favorite place as a child, that one book their dad read to them thousands of times, or the origin of any irrational fears they have, you will automatically feel so much closer to your sweetheart. And the best part is sharing your childhood stories to make each other laugh. You will adore your partner at the same time, and this can be a good bonding activity. You just need to ask the right questions for intimacy to connect with your partner and get the ball rolling.

Here’s a list of some highly effective get-to-know-you questions for couples that you should give a try:

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76. Tell me about one dream from your childhood that you have achieved and are very proud of.

77. If you get to take a road trip with your childhood heroes, who would you like to go with?

78. Did you have any irrational fears as a child?

79. Tell me about the first time you had a crush on someone.

80. Who was the first person you used to turn to for advice when you were in trouble as a child?

81. What is your favorite childhood memory? Did you have a warm, healthy childhood?

82. What do you miss most about your childhood?

83. Share a story with me that your grandparents used to tell you as a child

84. How is your relationship with your parents?

85. How and when did you meet your best friend?

86. Were your parents emotionally available for you?

87. Did you witness any healthy relationships as you were growing up?

88. What is the worst memory of your childhood?

89. Did you have any family tradition you loved celebrating?

90. Would you tell me an embarrassing story of your childhood?

91. As a child, what was your goal for the future career-wise?

92. If you could give your sixteen-year-old self a message, what would you like to say?

93. Who was that one person who had a great influence on you growing up?

94. Did you and your siblings get along as kids?

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95. Have you ever been abused mentally or physically as a child?

96. What was that one book/movie you read/watched in your childhood that left a lasting impression in your mind?

97. How do your childhood memories make you feel? Warm, comforted, nostalgic, sad, or scared – take your pick.

98. If you could re-live one memory of your childhood, which one would you like to revisit?

99. Tell me about your hometown. How was it growing up there?

100. How did you celebrate the big holidays as a family?

Touchy questions to get to know your partner

How do you think an emotional bond forms between two individuals? A person has to feel loved and safe with their inner child in someone else’s presence so that they can talk about their biggest fear or childhood trauma without any hesitation.

And this happens when the initial sparkles of romance and sexual desire start to wane and you feel comfortable enough to discuss the more sensitive parts of your life and ask questions for intimacy, especially deep emotional intimacy. If you are not sure which topic would be a safe bet, to begin with and how to ease your way up to more serious ones, these deep questions to ask your partner should come in handy:

get to know you questions for couples
“What does it take to become your friend from an acquaintance?”

101. What is that one thing or one person you are scared to lose most?

102. Has the meaning and value of friendship changed for you over time? If yes, how?

103. Do you wish to change anything about yourself?

104. Do you have any unfulfilled desires in life?

103. What brings you the most simple kind of joy and happiness? 

104. How did you cope with your first heartbreak?

105. What is that one dream that you are still chasing?

106. What does a perfect day look like to you?

107. When was the last time you cried and why?

108. Does your work excite you?

109. What is the biggest regret of your professional life?

Related Reading: 12 Things You Should Know When Dating An Introvert

110. Is there anything that you wish you could let go of?

111. What is your coping mechanism to deal with the pain after the demise of a dear one?

112. Which one do you prefer – staying close to your family or traveling the world like a nomad?

113. What motivates you every morning to wake up and get going?

114. What is the toughest thing you’ve had to do last year?

115. What are you most grateful for in life?

116. Would you tell me a secret you have never revealed to anyone before?

117. Have you ever been cheated by anyone? Could be a friend, colleague, or romantic partner.

118. Tell me about the physical and emotional boundaries you wish you had set in your previous relationships.

119. What are your priorities in life at the moment?

120. How well do you handle breakups?

121. Is there anyone who helps you become a better person? If not me, who is that?

122. What does it take to become your friend from an acquaintance?

123. Do you believe in the power of manifestation? Have you ever manifested anything in life?

124. Is there any such thing you feel very strongly about and you would never compromise on?

125. If it’s our last day in the world, what would you like to tell me?

We hope this set of questions to deepen relationship benefits your bond with your partner in some way or the other. It will be even better if you let these psychological questions to ask your partner unroll in a conversational pattern and express your opinions and perspectives on these matters too. In fact, turn these intimate questions for couples into an activity or a practice no matter at what stage of the relationship you are in. Go back to them every once in a while – perhaps on a date night or a lazy Sunday afternoon. You will discover each other in an entirely new light after diving deep into the heart and soul of your loved one – that’s a promise! So, try our couple bonding questions and we’re sure you’ll not regret!

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