What men want from women

Jae Rajesh
Head over Heels

Do we even care to find out what men want?

I’ve encountered many articles, blogs, discussions, talk shows, movies and even stand-up comedy routines on ‘What Women Want’, but hardly anything that touches on ‘What Men Want’. I guess what men want from women is considered too obvious to warrant even cursory attention, and too predictable and pedestrian for magazines to waste column space on.

The art of knowing, understanding and enjoying each other’s company, establishing a mental connection and celebrating each other’s sensual physicality is alien to most people today. The joint family system earlier and conflicting work timings, stress and career pursuits today preclude the time and exclusivity that such intimate moments deserve.
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Sex is now a rushed act

Wham! Bam! Thank you, ma’am! And when procreation results, the euphoria glosses over all the missing aspects of the intimate union. The world is none the wiser and the couple don’t know any better.

‘men dont want ‘just’ intercourse’ Image Source

Sex education at school is just diagrammatic explanations of male and female genitalia. Then there is ‘advanced learning’ from the freely available porn online, that corrupts the mind with absolutely wrong notions, interpretations and expectations of sex.

Here is the video on  4 top tips that will make you kiss like a pro

Related Reading: Once you know the amount of fun in outdoor sex, you will want it even more

Marriage is just a contract that legally binds men and women

It doesn’t guarantee perpetual attraction to each other. Both need to work at it continually. It’s true that familiarity breeds contempt. It’s a very common rut that long married couples fall into. Personal space and privacy become irrelevant. Nudity loses its sensual value; intimate moments are killed by family gossip and the indiscretion of unflattering and gross personal hygiene habits in each other’s presence. Why and how did the meaning and perception of attractiveness change? Or doesn’t it matter any more?

When you don’t feel the need to put in any effort to attract the attention of your partner, the longing, the sensuality, the passion is lost. Married men and women seldom bother to keep in shape (health wise, or figure wise). There isn’t much interest among women to groom themselves or wear sexy lingerie or ensembles with the same intent as before. Do they ever consider looking and feeling sexy at home? All that hard work and time and money…for what? Who to attract? Now that they have a mate, the basic needs of food, shelter and security are taken care of, there is no real reason to pump up those pheromones again.

Related Reading: Top three annoying things people do after sex that put off their lovers

cuddling couple

‘intimacy is lost’ Image Source

Contrary to popular belief, a man does not think of sex as just intercourse

It’s simply the unfortunate reality for most Indian couples. Men by design can climax for relief. We do it because we can, not because that’s what we want.

Sex without passion or sensuality is just a physical act.

So what do we men want?

We aren’t as good at sharing our thoughts and feelings as women are. It is not deliberate, nor is it because our love/respect/priority for women is any less. That’s just how we are wired. So if we look confused when women coo, “What are you thinking?” that’s probably because we are.

We notice women instinctively. We appreciate good looks. It doesn’t mean we’re itching to stray. If women impose guilt on us for trivialities, they’re only encouraging clandestine behaviour. Help us to be open. We want women to stay our friends, not metamorphose into a chaperone in presence of other women.

We love to watch sports on TV, play golf on holidays and read the newspaper with the morning tea. We want women to understand that we love them just as before and these aren’t replacing or ignoring their presence. Of course we can do without these, but it’s like heating the bath water – you may do without it, but it feels good with it. Women must demand our time and attention because they need it and when they want it, not simply because they miss it.

Roses and candles aren’t always necessary for a romantic night out. Just leave out the serious talk. No gossip and no family talk. It just doesn’t work when we look at women adoringly and they mention the mother-in-law!

a little intimacy and longing Image Source

We want back the passion and the mutual longing. Bring back the mystery when women undress, tantalise with little lace wonders, surprise us in bed. It doesn’t matter how women look – fat, thin, dark, pale, tired, grey, wrinkled; we just don’t care. But women must make an effort to boost their sex appeal. It makes us feel wanted, desired.

And that is just what we men want.

What do men want?

Join the discussion here: What does a man look for in a relationship?

Here’s what men want in bedroom, and no it’s not what you think!

Proof that men still don’t know what they are looking for in a woman


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Sg K
Sg K January 15, 2019 - 4:11 pm

Absolutly true. Both the article and comments.
Article highlights what a man wants from his life partner regarding sexual and sensual attractions. And comments (especially from ladies ) say ” hey man you come and help me in daily chores, then i will be your seductress”

Very true both the perspectives. I love my wife so much but i also understand that she is a wife along with a mother of 2 very naughty attention seeking children also a professional with job stress and above all a daughter in law
She have a lot of stresses and to add to that she also have hormonal fluctuation which i hope every single female have. So the article is 100 percent correct regarding what a man want and above all if he helps her stands by her side in need she will surely be seductress when her moods are high. Then at that moment i want her to be sexy and attractive .

Mukul Bhatt December 3, 2017 - 5:12 pm

Nice article.
But not applicable to all..
Perception matters..
Both man and woman should understand and love each other equally.. Though, it’s easy to say and very hard to follow..
But a proper understanding can always bring happiness in the Married life????

Otherwise.. Nice to see an articlelike this..
I do have my website Mouldingfuture.com , keep enlighting me ????

Deepika October 23, 2017 - 10:01 pm

Great article.. Seriously I liked it very much.. Felt awesome as I was looking for it.. Eagerly.. You are an excellent writer. I have started my website eraofwisdom.com pls guide me too.. ❤️❤️ thank you BTW for superb article

Vaidehi Phansalkar October 7, 2017 - 6:35 pm

Make sure that your woman isnt overworked, deprived and hasnt had to kill her little joys for pleasing your family. Keep her well rested, fulfilled and then she will happily be the seductress.

Siddhartha mishra September 24, 2017 - 11:42 pm

Nice article , I am learning

Kavita September 11, 2017 - 7:42 pm

Sorry to say, but very few men care about what a woman wants.

Sunbeam1112 September 11, 2017 - 1:49 pm

If you are a married man make sure the wife is treated well and made to feel like she is the queen of your world… not just taken for granted part of your life. You do that and see, she’ll do all it takes to keep up the charade that you are expecting. It’s not necessary that she’s always ready to fulfil your fantasy. If you were to take time to appeal to her sensual side you’d probably have seen wonders. I believe it a mutual thing between the couple to understand each other and keep the spark going rather than quietly expecting the other to display certain level of passion and mystery. Tell her what you expect, talk about it and watch how she’ll respond.

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