What Do Men Want In A Woman? 11 Things That May Surprise You

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what do men want in a woman?

What men want in a woman can’t really be too hard to crack, right? A red lipstick, a cute sundress, and those high heels should get the job done. Though those things might help for some, they’re not dealbreakers for most guys.

No, he probably doesn’t want you to be one of his “bros”, and no, getting into the sport he watches isn’t an absolute necessity (though it’ll help). What guys want in a woman can sometimes be as simple as someone who laughs at his dad jokes. 

With the help of dating coach Geetarsh Kaur, founder of The Skill School which specializes in building stronger relationships, let’s try to unravel the mystery behind the needs of the male mind and what he really means when he sends you a drunk text at 2 a.m.

11 Lesser Known Things Men Want In A Woman 

At the end of the day, what every man wants in a woman isn’t usually too hard to tell. But when he’s texting you once a day for a week, and then calling you every hour of the day for the next, you’re bound to feel confused.

Regardless of the things a man looks for in a woman, you shouldn’t really set out to change your personality. Two months into it, watching his favorite sports team play another match when they never seem to win any of them, will just seem unbearable. 

So, what do guys look for in a woman they want to marry? The answer may vary for every man you ask this question to, but there are still a few things that are worth knowing. In her experience as a dating coach, Geetarsh tells us all she has it straight from the horse’s…errr, men’s mouths, about things they don’t let out but still secretly want: 

1. What men want in a woman: Someone who doesn’t tie them down

“The biggest complaint of guys in relationships is that their “freedom” is snatched away once they’re in a relationship,” says Geetarsh. “They feel their partners are constantly hovering around and sometimes, the constant questions can end up feeling like the relationship is plagued with trust issues.”  

“What men want in a woman is also applicable to what women want; you don’t always want to be answerable to someone, right?”

So, the next time your man tells you he’s spending Saturday night with “the boys,” try not to ask him for an itinerary. Personal space in a relationship is just as important as any other aspect of your bond. Some time away will give you a chance to catch up on that show he hates watching anyway. 

Related Reading: The 18 Signs Of A Confident Man That Women Look For

2. Trust and security 

A relationship devoid of trust and security is constantly going to keep you on edge. You may even end up overthinking what that text from their “co-worker” at 9 pm is saying because you’re so worried. “Perhaps the biggest thing men want in a woman is someone they can feel secure with, someone they can trust. When there’s a balance of faith, trust, and security, you’re able to maneuver freely in your relationship without ever facing a communication problem,” says Geetarsh.

“When there’s mistrust, the first casualty is always communication. And since that’s one of the most important aspects of the bond you share, the whole thing can go awry,” she adds.

Especially if you’re looking to answer the question, “What do guys look for in a woman they want to marry?” The biggest factor would probably be how comfortable and secure he feels with you. If it seems like either of you is walking on eggshells, something isn’t right.

3. Men love to be babied 

When he’s with his friends, he’s calling you his “girl” or “wifey”. When they all leave and it’s just you and him, we bet all he wants is for you to cuddle the night away with him. When asked if men like to be coddled, Geetarsh responded without a moment’s delay, “Oh yes, they love it. It’s  also a natural human emotion, to want to be pampered and cared for.”

“Men love to be mothered. It doesn’t mean you’re dating a man child, they like the care, the intimacy, the comfort, and the way it makes them feel about the relationship. Everyone wants to feel important. It’s not like he aspires to be a stoic ‘man’ of the house; you both have to be equal in your relationship, and the way you care for each other can be a great way to show that,” she adds.  

If this point has made you think that the answer to the question, “What do men want in a wife?” is someone who is like his literal mother, you’ve taken it too far. No, you don’t have to ask him if he ate well and is full after every meal; just showing that you care about him is usually all it takes. 

being pampered is one of the things guys want in a relationship
Go ahead and pamper him, he’s going to love it

4. Men can often need a little more reassurance than you’d think

If you were to make a list of the things guys want in a relationship, constant reassurance is bound to be at the very top. Want to know the easiest way to make his day? Just text him, “I love you and you’re the only man for me.”

“Since some men don’t talk about their emotions unless prompted, they want someone who reassures them of the faith and love they share,” says Geetarsh. 

“Social conditioning makes men believe that they don’t need words of affirmation and that asking for it isn’t something they should do. He may not even be seeking validation, but a few kind words never hurt anybody. What men want in a woman is someone who can tell them with confidence that theirs is the only relationship that matters,” she adds. 

5. What do guys look for in a woman they want to marry? Easy, lots of support

What every man wants in a woman isn’t someone who’ll stand behind him; it’s someone who’ll be right next to him, offering support whenever he needs it. The keyword here is “offering,” since solving his burdens isn’t up to you, unless he asks for help or support, of course. 

Though he may try to look like an alpha or a sigma male, it’s no surprise that everyone needs support every now and then. When he’s trying to suppress his emotions, let him know that he can confide in you – it’ll do wonders for your emotional intimacy. 

Related Reading: What Women Want From Men: 10 Things That Can Change the Intimacy Game

6. Men want someone who looks after themselves 

Sure, the things a man looks for in a woman don’t completely rely on the physical aspect of things, but they do make a difference. You wouldn’t judge your first date too highly if they showed up in their PJs, without even making an effort to look presentable, right? 

“One of the most important things guys want in a relationship is someone who works on improving themselves,” says Geetarsh. 

“It’s important for both halves of the relationship to be their presentable selves, to be courteous and have a zest for life. Your partner should feel proud when they introduce you to friends and family. A relationship only progresses when they’re both trying to be better partners to each other,” she adds. 

No, the answer to the question, “What do men want in a wife?” isn’t “A supermodel with curves and a size zero figure.” Rather, it’s just someone who makes an effort to look after themselves. The importance of the superficial tends to fade with time, but the zest for life is what continues to add excitement. 

7. Someone they can express their emotions with is what men want in a woman

“I asked one of my clients when was the last time he cried. He replied, ‘I don’t remember, it has been years since I cried.’ It was quite heartbreaking to know that he hadn’t even felt that comfortable with his peers and family. Often, men have a hard time expressing their emotions,” says Geetarsh.

Maneuvering your bond to a space in your relationship where he feels comfortable enough to truly express his emotions isn’t something that you can do in a week, especially if he’s the kind who struggles with letting people in. 

With that being said, it’s nothing a bit of honest communication and validation can’t fix. What do guys look for in a woman they want to marry? They look for a person they feel comfortable sharing absolutely anything with, without the fear of being perceived as weak. 

Let him know his emotions are normal and natural, and that he isn’t being judged for accepting that some things might be troubling him. A simple “I know, that must have been so hard to go through,” can do all the work for you. 

As you can probably tell by now, the things guys want in a relationship aren’t too complicated. Sometimes, all he wants is just someone to be himself with. Honestly, it’s one of the basic essentials of a relationship.

8. Men want someone who’s bold and fearless, but not overpowering

“What men want in a woman is someone who’s bold, but when it comes to being a boyfriend or a husband to them, there’s a large percentage of men who’d want their women to be rather submissive. Due to the societal conditioning that we’ve been brought up with, most men want something like this without even realizing it,” says Geetarsh. 

“Of course, as we progress further into the 21st century, this conditioning is breaking. It’s a very subjective thing, but there still exists a significant number of men who’d prefer something like this,” she adds. 

Just because he might want someone who’s a bit submissive doesn’t mean you have to be. Plus, let’s not forget that the answer to the question, “What do guys look for in a woman they want to marry?” is largely subjective too. 

Related Reading: 15 Best Places To Meet Men (Out Of Dating Apps)

9. Being empathetic is an absolute need in every relationship

Being more empathetic in your relationship can be the difference between having a loving and understanding dynamic or one that’s constantly on the cusp of disaster. Though they may not say it much, empathy ranks high in the list of things guys want in a relationship.

“I’ve often seen that when there’s a communication gap in the relationship, the woman might end up saying things like, “You don’t talk to me, you don’t communicate properly.” It might not be that the communication is suffering, it’s just also entirely possible that she’s truly unable to understand what he’s saying,” says Geetarsh.

“Being able to understand what he’s saying and relate to it is the best communication tactic you can deploy. Instead of arriving at your own conclusions, be a bit more empathetic and accountable,“ she adds.

10. What men want in a woman: Someone who makes them laugh

As we mentioned before, you don’t have to be his “bro”, talking about the hilarious sports blunder that his favorite team made in the last match. A few inside jokes, a few instances of shared laughter, a few lame puns can make him feel connected to you. 

Plus, if you don’t have a sense of humor, surviving through his lame “dad jokes” might just be impossible. What guys want in a woman is someone they can joke around with and turning every joke into an argument isn’t something they like experiencing. What’s a relationship without a bit of playful banter, after all?

11. Match his vibe, match his libido

Of course, sexual compatibility is incredibly important in any relationship. But that doesn’t mean that the answer to “What do guys look for in a woman they want to marry?” always has to be someone who is incredibly sexually charged. 

Finding a balance between your libido and his is what’s key. Hopefully, this is something that will fall into place on its own, but when there’s a visible difference between his needs and yours, you may need to have a conversation with him about it. 

So, there you have it. If you were racking your brain about just what the guys are looking for, hopefully, this list of what men want in a relationship has given you a fair idea. Even so, we hope you’re not going to change yourself too much in an attempt to cater to what he might be looking for. At the end of the day, things will fall into place organically.

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