If there’s one dilemma that has persisted perennially in romantic partnerships, it is this: knowing what women want from men. So many relationships suffer because men fail to understand the expectations of their partners. Even more so, since there are many things every woman wants her man to do without asking for them.
With men absolutely clueless about them, these silent and unmet expectations slowly build up into a heavy weight that can pull your relationship under. Given that most women aren’t big on the idea of articulating these hidden desires in a relationship, communication can get you only so far on this front.
Your best bet is gaining an insight into what a woman needs from a man by understanding the inner workings of her mind. While it’s true that every woman is unique in her ways, her expectations – by and large – revolve around the 10 things every woman wants in a man.
What Women Want From Men? These 10 Things On The Intimacy Front
When we say intimacy, we don’t specifically mean action between the sheets. Although that is an important part of any relationship and the closeness between a couple, intimacy has many forms. For a well-rounded relationship, both partners must aim to cultivate them all.
If your progress in this area is hindered by the quintessential what women want from men dilemma, we’ve got your back. To begin with, women want more closeness and deeper connection with their partners. Well, a vast majority of women at least.
Achieving that does not entail grand gestures, lavish gifts or extravagant holidays. Something as basic as knowing the most pleasurable things to do to a woman can work wonders for your intimacy. Likewise, making an effort to connect with her beyond sex can bring you two closer than you can possibly imagine.
The answer to what women want from men boils down to getting the basics of a romantic connection right. Keep in mind these 10 things every woman wants in a man and build up on them depending on your partner’s expectations and your unique relationship dynamics:
1. Build it up
We get it. Sex is amazing. But rushing through the whole process like you’ve got a deadline to ‘finish’ is not quite the best thing to do. Women want more – a lot more – than a quick bang. One of the most pleasurable things to do to a woman is to make love to her entire body and not just the parts that interest you.
Ramona, a woman in her mid-30s who has been sexually active for over a decade, says “Foreplay is probably the best bit.” She lists a long kissing session as the most important part of foreplay, followed closely by a lot of touching and slow-paced undressing.
“It’s like a chorus; no matter what you do, you keep coming back to it”, she says. She’s also very particular about how she wants her man to ‘know when to offer the tongue’ and ‘judge the pace of…touching’.
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2. Bring her breakfast in bed
Want to amp up your intimacy to the next level? Something as simple as bringing her breakfast in bed every now and then can work spectacularly in helping you achieve that goal. This is undoubtedly one of the things every woman wants her man to do without asking.
Don’t save this gesture of love and care for special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries or Valentine’s Day. Any lazy morning where you both have leisurely time at hand is perfect to get in the kitchen and whip her something wholesome and delicious.
It doesn’t have to be an elaborate spread of pancakes, sautéed vegetables, grilled sausages and cheese. Even something simple like eggs, toast with coffee or juice will work just as well.
3. Talk dirty to her
If you thought talking dirty and putting your wildest sexual fantasies into words is only something men desire, you’re in for a pleasant surprise. It’s also what women want from men. A little bit of dirty talk can make a woman overcome with desire in ways even the best foreplay may not.
No, we’re not talking about the bland kind of talk that you find in porn videos. And a “You like that, huh?” is not what these women found sexy. Azel, a reader and occasional writer of erotica, particularly stresses on how it’s tremendously sexy to have her man kiss and whisper in her ear the things he intends to do, and the order in which he wishes to proceed, while his hands “go places”.
4. Invest in pillow talk
Sex is great but have you ever tried lying next to your partner, holding their hand, and just talk. Try passing off sex for a late-night session of deep conversations, and you will realize how it works like a charm in building emotional intimacy between you two.
From childhood anecdotes to reminiscing about early days of your romance, sharing your feelings and telling your partner about your dreams, hopes, aspirations and fears, these pillow talks can help you uncover new layers of each other’s personality.
Even if you have been together a long time and think that you possibly know everything about each other, give it a try. You’d be pleasantly surprised to see how much more there is to know and learn about your partner.
5. Pleasure the clitoris
This is the ONE thing every woman wants in bed and cannot get enough of. It’s unfortunate, then, that most men tend to disregard what is undoubtedly certain to make their women go crazy. “For any woman”, says Angelina, “sex is best when the man knows how to find and pleasure the clitoris”.
Multiple women claim that good tongue-on-clitoris action has often been more reliable when it comes to orgasms than penetrative sex. Angelina went on to say that for her, it’s incredibly sexy when her man takes her steadily from the back with his arms locked loosely around her waist, his fingers stroking her clitoris.
Now, that’s not to suggest that this is exactly what a woman needs from a man. You can explore, experiment and figure out what works best for you and your partner. But, do not ignore the sensual C if you want to take your connection with the woman in your life to the next level.
6. Hit the spot
If you feel that things are lagging on the intimacy front because your partner isn’t as invested in getting down and dirty with you, it could well be because the sex is not as pleasurable for her as it is for you. Not being able to find and stimulate the ever-elusive G-spot could be the reason why.
Rosette, a successful young woman in sync with her sexuality, makes no bones about letting us know that her boyfriend happens to have an average-sized penis. Yet, she loves how her man knows how to use it and be comfortable with his size.
Very vocal about the importance of ‘hitting the G-spot’, she mentions how his penis, which also happens to be a little arching, works perfectly for her in missionary and cowgirl positions. Located on the front wall, a few inches inside the vagina, the G-spot has been reported to be an intense source of stimulation.
The ability to hit her sweet spot is definitely one of the 10 things every woman wants in a man. If you’re a man who’s having a hard time finding it, try looking for a bit of texture on the otherwise smooth front wall of the vagina.
7. Explore her erogenous zones
One of the most pleasurable things to do to a woman is to explore her erogenous zones and work them till you find her begging to stop yet wanting more. These areas may vary from woman to woman, but without a doubt, everyone has more than a few.
Remember Monica from Friends going ‘7,7,7,7!!!!’ when explaining erogenous zones to Chandler? Well, if you know, you know. It’s time to look beyond the lips, breasts, vagina routine and step up your game.
From the earlobes to the navel, tops, thighs, there are different places and spots that can turn on a woman and make her squirm with pleasure. It’s up to you to find out your woman’s spots and use them to both of your advantage. We promise there’ll be no looking back.
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8. Cuddle and talk
What every woman wants in a man is his attention. So, at all costs, steer clear of the tendency to turn your back and go to sleep after a good session. It can be extremely off putting and disappointing for a woman, and may make her feel like you’re distant and withdrawn.
If you’ve ever had the ‘you’re only interested in sex’ accusation thrown at you, you post-coitus habits could be to blame. One simple practice can change that – once you’re done with the act, hold her in your arms (or let her hold you) and just talk to her for some time.
Even if you’re drowsy from sleep or stressed about getting an early start the next day to nail that all-important work presentation. And remember, going straight from orgasm to looking into your phone is a big NO-NO.
Not only do these seemingly harmless habits kill the romance and get in the way of building intimacy with your partner but may actually play a role in pushing her away from you.
“When done right”, claims Susan, “roleplay has to be the biggest turn-on for me”. She hesitates to reveal what her favorite variant is, but stresses how her early crushes on her professors tempt her to play her boyfriend’s student.
His commitment to the character throughout the course of sex, she admits, keeps her turned on. As an independent woman with her personal living space, she can afford to play out her acts impromptu and “experiment in a healthy and harmless way”.
This is undoubtedly one of the underrated but important 10 things every woman wants in a man sexually. So, do give it a try. You may find that your partner is hesitant and apprehensive at first. But don’t give up without at least trying to bring her out and get in touch with her wild side.
Of course, without violating her consent. If she says a hard no to your suggestion, shelve it for the time being and maybe try broaching the idea when you feel that her mood is right and she may be more open to trying new things.
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10. Be passionate
What women want from men the most is to feel desired and coveted. What could be a better way to make her feel that way than passionate lovemaking. No matter how long you have been together, don’t fall in the shag-and-drag sex routine trap. That is when the spark truly dies down, and with it goes any scope of building intimacy in your relationship.
Explore, experiment, bring something new to the bedroom as often as you can. But don’t stop at that. Passion doesn’t necessarily have to correspond with sex. Grabbing her and kissing her passionately in the middle of the day work like a charm in keeping the romance alive and your connection strong. Make such displays of how much you yearn for her a regular feature in your life, and you will find that your partner feels closer to you than ever before.
What women want from men isn’t that complex or different from what men want from women. The one differentiating factor is that women yearn for a strong emotional connection to thrive in a relationship. As a partner, you ought to play an equal role in building and sustaining that connection both in the bedroom and outside it.