He’s always after other women, even when he’s with you, that’s a typical sign you are with a womanizer. Chances are when he is wooing you, he will give you the impression that he has his eyes only for you but when you get into a relationship with him, you will realize that he has a roving eye, gets flirty with other women at the first opportunity he gets and goes on to even exchange numbers with random women.
As you get to know him better, you will see the body language of a womanizer. And if you are married to him, the traits of a womanizer husband will be too apparent to you. For instance, he would be always trying to make eye contact with that pretty girl sitting at the next table at the café or even tell you how the girl is trying to get his attention.
If you are in a relationship with a womanizer, you’d know how much he loves attention and goes out of his way to get it. Thanks to his comments and love signs on social media, you will see the extent to which his womanizing ways extend to the online world.
Tabby Brown, a 29-year-old fashion designer based in Houston, was deeply in love with 35-year-old Joe Uzeli, a charming businessman from the suburbs. Red flags cautioned her but she was too blind and carried away by his charming alluring and seductive smooth talk to accept them for they were. She failed to see through the rose-colored spectacles that he was a womanizer!
Even after having caught him cheating on her numerous times, she failed to understand that she was hopelessly in love with a womanizer. Joe was in every way a charmer, a player who could woo any woman, old or young in a matter of a few hours.
She would see him flirting openly with her friends and colleagues, only to be hurt and embarrassed at the end. Joe would cool her down, whispering sweet nothings to her until she gave in. And at times he would accuse her of being suspicious, possessive or jealous, leaving her doubting herself.
Tabby learned the hard way that it’s not easy to deal with a womanizer man. However, you don’t have to make the same mistake. If you suspect that your partner just cannot stop himself from feeling drawn to other women, understanding the psychology behind a womanizer and reading the signs of his behavior patterns can help you figure out how best to navigate this hurtful situation.
How Do You Know You Are With A Womanizer?
You are in a relationship with a guy, and you fight about almost the same issue every time: that he always seems interested in other women, you know that he is cheating and he knows it too, but he has zero guilt. He probably thinks he can get away with this, as he is an alpha male. You are totally clueless about what to do and why the man who charmed you is now behaving like this.
Well, we hate to be the ones to break it to you, but maybe the man you are in a relationship with is a womanizer. Understanding him may help you to deal with him and ease your pain.
What are the three most important things that form a successful relationship? Trust, love and respect – the cornerstones of any successful relationship. But if you are in a relationship with a womanizer, you might find it difficult to find these bedrock foundations.
If your husband is a womanizer, you would always struggle to trust him and it’s not uncommon that he could turn out to be a serial cheater. How to deal with a womanizer husband? This question may loom large over your marriage because from fights to threats of leaving to cajoling, nothing seems to help in getting him to break this unhealthy pattern.
The underlying reason behind it all is the psychology behind a womanizer – he is constantly drawn to and chases other women despite being in a relationship not because he has an insatiable drive for sex but because the chase and the thrill of winning over yet another woman make him feel powerful. At the heart of his behavior is an unhealthy need for power play, and that is also the biggest womanizer weakness.
This may give you a clear idea about whether or not your partner or spouse is a womanizer but that knowledge alone won’t yield any results in making your relationship healthy and more secure. Besides, if you think you can change your ‘player’ with love and care, it might take years before you reach a satisfactory conclusion. Only if you have the patience of a dove and a never say die attitude should you pin your hopes on making a relationship with a womanizer work.
But pause and think, is it really worth the effort? Should you be wasting your time, energies and emotions in figuring out how to deal with a womanizer husband or partner?
Related Reading: My husband has dirty chats with several women and I can’t bear it
Womanizers and Casanovas: Are they the same?
A womanizer feels that it is his birthright to abuse women sexually or emotionally, while a Casanova is one who adores women and indulges in a sexual relationship with them. In a womanizer’s life, there is no place for women’s feelings as he considers himself superior to them.
A Casanova is in touch with the women’s feelings and genuinely wants to please them, albeit differently. The only thing common between them is that both of them are associated with multiple women at a time. So, no, a womanizer and a Casanova are not the same. Although they both do mimic some similar problematic patterns.
5 Signs You In A Relationship With A Womanizer
If you are saying, “My boyfriend is a womanizer”, then chances are you have already found out his womanizing traits. It is not written on a guy’s forehead that he is a womanizer, and so, you have no way of figuring out if he is one until he reveals his straying tendencies.
But there are a few traits in common that can help you to identify if your guy is a womanizer. If your husband or boyfriend is a womanizer then they would surely show these signs:
1. He knows his way around women
One of the hallmarks of a womanizer is that he knows his way around women. And not just a specific type, he knows how to get through to all women and leave a lasting impression on them. His manners are impeccable. He will hold doors open and pull out chairs to any woman.
He knows exactly how to make a woman comfortable around him. Even if it requires him to mold his behavior depending upon the kind of woman he’s with, he’ll do it with the ease of a natural. For instance, if he is trying to woo someone who is introverted, he might even try to show he is a bit shy around women to win her confidence.
Likewise, with an outgoing and independent woman, he can portray himself to be the life of a party. That’s the reason women get pulled to him like a magnet. He exudes that warm and sexy vibe.
2. He is charming in his clothes and his ways
Be it for a casual outing or for work, he always takes care to wear the right clothes. Needless to say, he is well-groomed, fashionable, smells great and his shoes can serve as a mirror. The one thing you’ll never see a womanizer do is be sloppy in his appearance.
He is not the one to wear a wrinkled linen shirt or step out in his boxer shorts, even if it is to pick up the trash can from the front yard. He has spent so long being on the prowl – which, of course, requires him to look his best – that this impeccable sense of style and incredibly high self-grooming standards have become second nature to him.
One of the clearest signs that you’re in a relationship with a womanizer is that he hogs the mirror more than you do and takes longer to get ready to step out of the house each morning.
3. He’s good at seducing a variety of women
He’s always in search of new women to satisfy his sexual motives. He stares at every passing woman and fantasizes about them. He has superb communication skills and the ability to woo them all.
Whether it’s a 50-year-old lady or a teenage PYT, he would have their attention instantly. He doesn’t need to try too hard. Your womanizer husband loves flirting and cannot give up this behavior even when you are around. Maggie realized she had married a man who was not just unfaithful to her but a characteristic womanizer when she found him flirting with their daughter’s friend.
“He had cheated in the past but I had forgiven him for the sake of the children. When I saw him flirting with a 14-year-old girl in our own house, it became clear to him that his hunger for attention knew no bounds. I don’t know how to deal with a womanizer husband who won’t even stop himself from making a pass at a girl his daughter’s age. I stayed in the marriage for the kid’s sake, and now I’m considering walking out for their sake,” she says.
Related Reading: What To Do When Your Husband Is Talking To Another Woman
4. His male ego is high
He wears his ego on his sleeves and the attention he gets from women pampers the ego considerably. In fact, the entire psychology behind a womanizer boils down to this need to get his ego massaged. And he is never happy with attention only from you. He wants to be surrounded by newer women to boost his ego even higher.
If a woman is not giving him the attention he wants, he gets extremely upset and uses every trick in his kitty to get it. If he is still not successful, he will badmouth her. Among the classic signs of a womanizer is his complete lack of respect for women. That’s because he objectifies them to such an extent that he is unable to see and treat them as fellow human beings.
5. He’s good at emotional manipulation
It’s so hard to deal with a womanizer man because he has his ways to make you question your own judgment and sanity. If you tell him that you can make out his womanizing traits or that you have come to know about his reputation around women, he is such a smooth talker, emotional manipulator and gaslighter that he would assure you that everything you are thinking is wrong.
But the very next day he would check out that girl at the supermarket and flirt with her by striking up a conversation. He would tell you it was just innocuous talk and you are being too sensitive. Being in a relationship with a womanizer means living with an unshakable sense of insecurity at all times, and having your feelings invalidated over and over again.
How To Deal With A Womanizer?
At the risk of sounding blunt, it is safe to say that a womanizer will not and cannot change, as he feels absolutely no guilt for his actions. According to his mindset, whatever he is doing is valid. That’s just how the psychology behind a womanizer works.
On the contrary, it is you who’d have to change and decide whether to walk away or to put up with these womanizing qualities of your beloved. A womanizer husband can be terrible for your self-esteem and make you feel guilty and ashamed all the time.
Once you know the womanizing traits of your husband or boyfriend, you will know that there would be no change from their side. If you choose to stay in a relationship with a womanizer, then you will have to develop your own coping mechanism. Here is how to deal with a womanizer husband or partner without losing yourself:
1. Have no expectations
The fact that you have chosen to stay in a relationship where you’re neither prioritized nor loved indicates that you have your compulsion to put up with your partner’s philandering ways. At the same time, it is important that you learn to protect yourself when you deal with a womanizer man.
We have always been told that expectations hurt. So the first and foremost rule is to keep your expectations in a relationship at bay. The more you expect him to be loyal to you, to love you, the more you will feel dejected by his actions. Help him get better, but do not expect anything in return.
A relationship with a womanizer won’t transform into a fulfilling, wholesome partnership ever. The only way for you to cope with that fact is to not be in denial about the reality of your situation.
2. Deal head on with embarrassing situations
Jane, a marketing professional, was dating a coworker. As their relationship took a turn toward the serious, committed territory, he started displaying classic signs of a womanizer. Soon after the two had moved in together, Jane found her boyfriend canoodling with another coworker by the water cooler.
Hurt and dejected, she sobbed silently in her cubicle. “How could he do this to me? Do womanizers have feelings? How can he cozy up to another woman when I’m sitting in the next room?” Her thoughts were racing, but then, a voice inside her told her not to take this behavior lying down. She walked up to his desk and confronted him, not caring about the drama unfolding in the workplace.
Like Jane, if you too find your partner staring at other women or cheating on you with another woman, immediately confront him. Let him know that this is not acceptable under any circumstances. Yes, there will be fights and arguments over this but at least he would know you are not going to take his behavior lying down.
Related Reading: I’m never jealous or possessive… unless he’s talking to someone hot
3. Give the womanizer the silent treatment
As we discussed earlier, womanizers tend to have a big ego and it hurts them brutally, if a woman, especially and exclusively their own woman, ignores them. If you are hurt by his behavior, just go use the silent treatment to your benefit and express your discomfort. You will instantly recognize a change in his behavior and he will try and not leave any stone unturned to make you happy.
This is one of the best ways of messing with a womanizer. Besides, the confrontations over his coquet behavior may get too tiresome and seem futile after a while. What’s the point of having the same fight over and over if he’s not going to change? You have to, eventually, learn how to deal with a womanizer husband or partner without letting him mess with your mind. Silence is your most potent weapon in achieving that.
4. Give him a taste of his own ways
No, we’re not suggesting that you start mimicking his unhealthy behavior patterns just to get even with him. Apart from the cheating and lack of loyalty, a relationship with a womanizer can also be emotionally unfulfilling and lonely. So, give him a taste of his own medicine by making him feel the same way.
Since you’ve already freed yourself from relationship expectations, it’s time to chart your own journey by following your passions and interests. Focus on building a rewarding life for yourself so that your happiness won’t depend on him and how he treats you.
Doing so will make him realize what being isolated in a relationship feels like. Analyze his behavior after this and only then decide future action; whether to break up or stay on.
5. Seek professional help
If your man has fallen too deep into the womanizing pattern, you may find it necessary to seek professional help. Psychologists believe that womanizing is a form of addiction and needs to be acknowledged and treated as such.
A womanizer is the only one who can help himself. Your womanizing husband has to want to change in order to successfully give up his womanizing ways. According to most psychologists, the treatment for extreme cases is usually a residential program in conjunction with therapy and counseling.
Related Reading: Relationship Counselling – Everything You Need To Know
The final decision: Should you leave your womanizing partner?
The ultimate decision on whether to leave or separate from a womanizing boyfriend/husband rests with you. If you feel that you will be contented and happy alone or with a more loving partner, you should explore the option of moving out. However, if you want to give your relationship another try, your best bet would be to seek professional help.
Being with a womanizer partner may seem like a heavy cross to bear. However, recovery is still possible with adequate time, love and commitment. If you are hopelessly in love with a womanizer, you may want to try your best to salvage the relationship. Finally, the rewards of recovery are worth the effort, since it not only makes your boyfriend/husband an improved partner and an even better person, but it also gives your relationship a fresh lease of life.
A womanizer usually has no feelings for all the women he keeps flirting with, nor does he feel guilty that he is hurting his primary partner. Womanizing is like an addiction that he keeps indulging in.
A womanizer can fall in love that’s why he makes his relationship exclusive and even gets married. But he expects his partner to understand his womanizing needs and treat them casually.
If a womanizer seeks counseling and wants to change his ways, then he can be faithful. But be prepared that in a world of online interactions where anonymity rules, he might fall back into his old pattern, without even realizing it.
The answer to this lies in the psychology behind a womanizer. Contrary to popular belief, this tendency is not fueled by an insatiable lust but an unhealthy need for power play. The chase and the thrill of winning over yet another woman make him feel powerful