The bases in dating are another one of those American references that have caught on in the rest of the world too. These references trace their origin to baseball terminology and are used to euphemistically describe how far you’ve gone in physical intimacy in your relationship. Navigating your way around these bases of relationship can seem a bit tricky and daunting for newbies, and that’s why we’re here to help.
Let’s start with bases definition, and then, try to understand how to jump from one to the next.
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What Are The 4 Bases in Dating?
Have you heard your friends boisterously discuss hitting second base or scoring third base with a person? Does that leave you wondering what bases in dating are all about? Fret not, you’re about to find out.
Typically there are four bases of relationship:
- First base: Kissing
- Second base: Hand stimulation (above the waist)
- Third base: Oral-stimulation
- Fourth base (or Home Run): Intercourse
1. First base
What is first base in dating? It’s kissing. We’re not talking a peck on the cheek or a brush of the lips but full-blown French-style kisses with tongue and everything. Given that physical intimacy between two people usually begins with locking of the lips, it qualifies as the first base.
This is soft, romantic, emotional initiation that usually happens on the first or second date. Of course, it may involve your hands wandering to the other person’s hair, neck and back, but try to limit it at that unless there are clear signs that you both want to take things forward. First base is also often used as a measure to see whether there is a sexual spark and if it’d be worth taking things forward.
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2. Second base
The second base is just a natural progression to first. Apart from intense kissing, it also involves hand stimulation but above the waist. There is a lot of touching, holding, grasping, and often, cupping or rubbing of breasts involved in second base. At this stage, your intimacy is strictly restricted to touch, but yes, tops do tend to come off.
3. Third base
The third base is all about letting your tongue doing the talking. No, not literally though. Third base in dating involves the use of the tongue (and teeth, if you’re both into that sort of thing) to offer sexual stimulation. From the breasts all the way down there. If you’re giving each other head aka oral sex, you’ve reached the third base of the relationship. This is the penultimate stage of sexual pleasure.
4. Fourth base or home run
As the name suggests, the fourth base is about going all the way in your search for the big-O. It involves penetrative sex. If this is the first time for you or your partner, this is the point where you lose your virginity.
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How To Jump Bases In Dating?
Okay, so that was a crash course in the four bases in the dating business. Knowing is one thing and experiencing another ball game altogether. To make sure, you do get from base 1 to 4 successfully, you’ve to play your cards right, time your move well, and most importantly, be gentle and sensitive in your approach.
How to get to first base
Getting to first base is all about reading body language to know for sure that the other person is ready for that first kiss before you lean in. You could be upfront and ask too, but that usually kills the moment.
So, analyse the body movements of the person you’re with. Do you feel in sync? Are they leaning toward you when talking? Are your finger inter-twining on their own? If the answer to these questions is yes, it is your window to reach for their lips. But if you’ve misread the signals, and they’re not ready, have the grace to accept and withdraw. Just because you want it, doesn’t mean that the other person is obligated to comply.
How to get to second base
While you were kissing, did you feel like you both wanted more? Were your body’s pressed hard against each other? Were your hands racing up and down each other’s back? If yes, it may be time to test the waters by sliding your hand inside their clothes and moving your fingers in their belly and back. If they don’t stop you, or better still return the favour, it’s your signal to make the move.
It takes a lot of self-control to hold oneself back after a spell of hot, passionate kissing, but we recommend you take your time getting to second base and beyond. Giving in to your impulses on the first or second date may be too soon. Get to know each other a little more before you take the plunge or let give your partner the go-ahead.
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How to get to third base
Unless you’re looking for a casual hook-up, take your time before you started contemplating how to get to third base because at this stage things get intense. It’s a good idea to take a breather from your second base exploring and ask your partner if they’re ready for more. And if the answer is yes, go ahead and explore new highs of carnal pleasures.
Taking the time to get to know each other before this penultimate move is also important because certain oral stimulations can put you at the risk of STDs. So have to be 100 per cent sure about your safety. It’s a good idea to use protection like condoms or oral dams at this stage. Besides, you should both on the same page in terms of what you want from the relationship, because if one is just looking for experience and the other is emotionally invested, it can lead to a deep hurt.
How to get to fourth base
Consent, consent, consent. We cannot stress upon this enough. Talk to each other at length and be sure that you’re both ready for it before hitting the home run. Do not exert pressure on your partner because coaxing is NOT consent. Similarly, do not give in to pressure from your partner or peers. You’ve got to do this at your own pace and when you’re ready.
When you do, make sure you go prepared – we mean, buy your own condoms. Don’t rely on the other person to take care of it or have unprotected sex in the ‘heat of the moment’. If you don’t have protection, put it off for another time. And make sure, you’re somewhere safe.
During the act, be considerate of your partner’s needs and cater to their pleasure too. There is no bigger put off than being with someone selfish in bed. It can cost you your relationship.
Stay safe, and have fun!