Dating is a diversified landscape. For some, it may be a vast desert — relatively simple terrain, but with a lot of unknown dangers. For others, it may be a chain of mountains, filled with uncertainty on either side, but lots of promising possibilities. However, no matter what kind of relationship you are in, there are written and unwritten rules about going on dates, and we’re here to decode all of them.
Speaking from a generic perspective, a first date is all about the jitters and making a good first impression. A second date might just be another chance to get to know each other a bit better, but a third date could imply that the other person is interested and you may have the green signal.
But does the third date have a different kind of significance in the minds of men? If so, what does a third date actually mean to guys? Is the old cliché true, or do guys now meet you for the third date just as nervous as you? What are the third date rules, if any? Let’s take a look and decipher what happens on the third date and what’s going on in his mind.
What Does A 3rd Date Mean To A Guy?
Even though we can’t generalize, let’s try to figure out what the nuances around this oh-so-special date really mean. Is there a “special” third date meaning? It’s true that what a male mind is thinking when they are preparing to go on their third date is going to vary from person to person, there are still a few things that largely stay constant, because 3rd date expectations do exist in some form or another.
Let’s get the big one out of the way first: The common perception is that on the third date, physical intimacy is definitely on a guy’s mind. While that may be true for some guys, especially those who have invited you to their place this time around, it’s definitely not something that every guy is thinking. The idea of sex on the third date has been glorified even more thanks to pop culture, but that’s not a given.
Put simply, here’s what happens on the third date in the guy’s mind: “I really like this person and I don’t want to blow this. Let’s make sure I put my best foot forward and don’t bore her.” For some guys it might be something as sweet and simple as, “Well, do we kiss on the third date?”
For most men, all they’re worried about is making sure that there’s another date after this one — especially if they like the person a lot. Let’s be real, who goes on three dates with someone who you don’t even like? For most guys, more than what happens on the third date, they’re worried about what happens after the third date and then the one after that and then the one after that… See where we’re going with this? Because this means that there is definitely something brewing between you two and it makes him excited and nervous at the same time.
Of course, the third-date conversations may steer things toward something more physical, but that completely depends on how well the date goes. For guys who enter into this stage of dating with the sole intention of getting laid, they’re most probably going to make it pretty clear to you when they start to showcase obvious flirting signs.
So, what happens on the third date according to guys? For most men, they’re just trying to make sure you have a good time and that there’s another date after it. For those who are still living in 2005 and expect the third date to immediately turn into a night of sex, things probably aren’t going to go too well for them, anyway. Yup, the concept of sex on the third date is passe. If it happens organically, that’s another matter altogether, but 3rd date expectations have stopped meaning “oh yeah — tonight’s the night I get lucky!”
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Things To Keep In Mind Regarding Third Dates
Now that you have a better idea of what goes on in his head while he’s driving down to meet you again, you’re probably just worried about what you’re supposed to do on this date. Are there any third date rules? Read on — we’ve got your back. We’re going to try and answer whatever third date questions you may have.
First of all, if you are on your third date, congrats! That’s a lot of progress, but this is where things start getting a bit serious. There are some important things you have to keep in mind when you go for the third date, because sometimes there are certain 3rd date expectations.
For starters, do you kiss on the third date? Well, it’s entirely probable that a guy might want his first kiss with you on the third date. If you are going to the movies, it’s entirely possible that he might just slip his arm around you. It isn’t the most absurd thing in the world to want to get a little closer to someone by now. The third date is going to be different for sure. How? That’s what we’re here to tell you. So, hunker down and let’s find out what happens after 3 dates with a guy:
1. Third date tips: It’s different than the first two dates
Yes, we know, you already knew that. But hear us out. The first date may seem like the most crucial one, but stakes are higher on the following dates. A guy might be more stressed on a third date, especially if they don’t have a clear idea of how the other person feels about them. There are a lot of third date expectations on their mind, because they want things to go well.
The third and fourth dates are the golden opportunities to go beyond drinking and dining habits and actually get to know each other. By now, you have a better idea of what this person you’re sitting opposite to is like, and you’re probably texting each other a lot more than before.
If this one goes well, know that there’s a very real possibility that things may just leapfrog from hereon. Have you ever really heard of someone who went on four or five dates with someone and said something like, “I don’t really like them, I didn’t put much thought into it.” Want a bit of third date advice? Don’t approach it with the same ambiguity you did the first. By now, try to have more personalized conversations. That’s definitely one of the third date rules — get to know each other better.
What the guy is thinking: Should I tell her I really like her?
2. No rules for a third date
Believe it or not, guys actually don’t have any rules for third dates (or for first and second ones, for that matter). For men, it’s less about the right thing to do or the most expensive things you can buy for your date, and more about getting to know your date better in a simple setting that encourages you both to talk and communicate. Those are the real 3rd date expectations. Not sex on third date a la all the sit-coms that you’ve ever watched. So remove that particular third date idea from your mind.
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“The third date kiss absolutely HAS to take place, right?” Well no, not really. Though he may want it or you may even want to indulge, there’s no rule that says you absolutely HAVE to kiss each other by this point. Notice the physical signs he wants to kiss you, take your time, do what feels right. There is no specific 3rd date rule stating that some form of physical intimacy absolutely has to take place.
What the guy is thinking: I like spending time with her.
3. Physical intimacy on a third date
If the first two dates have turned out to be relatively tame, there’s always a possibility that men have high hopes when it comes to getting intimate on a third date. You might even find that the third date conversations are steering toward more flirty territory, and you’re no longer too shy to compliment each other a bit more boldly than you did before.
Even though the escalation of physical intimacy is not necessarily determined by the number of dates, it’s completely natural to expect things to get a little more intimate the longer you know each other. It also entirely depends on how close you two have gotten. Who knows, maybe you’ve been texting each other non-stop since your first date.
What the guy is thinking: I am dying to kiss her but she shouldn’t think I just want this.
4. Third date advice: You can establish a closer connection
The nervousness you had around your first date may have convinced you that just getting through it was good enough. By the second date, you might have gotten a sense that there may well be something here. By the third date, the best thing you can do is make sure you make it apparent that you remember the nuanced conversations you had during the first two dates to try and establish a closer connection, and get to know them.
Make sure you remember their pet’s name, their occupation and what they like to do. You wouldn’t want to ask how the 9-5 went to someone who’s the head chef somewhere. Instant disaster! After 3 dates with a guy, she’ll expect you to remember these things for sure!
What the guy is thinking: I love that I’m getting to know her better, I like spending time with her
5. Make future plans
If all is going well, you’re not really strangers to each other anymore. One of the best pieces of third date tips we can give you is to make sure you make future plans for dates you may both enjoy. Do you both like hiking? Plan one for next week. Do you both enjoy Pilates? Why not hit the same gym once? Do you both like food a little too much? A cooking date night is never a bad idea.
This will help in two ways, you’ll have something to look forward to, and you’ll also decipher the common interests you two have. You’ll get to bond over your shared love for whatever it is you pick, and the start of a blossoming romance may just ensue. It’s okay to dream a little. These are just a few third date ideas. There are so many more out there depending on your hobbies and shared interests.
What the guy is thinking: I hope we can meet again and spend more time together.
6. Keep in touch
What happens on the third date? You get to know someone well enough to figure out if you want to keep in touch with them or not. If you’ve decided this is someone you’d like to spend more time with, don’t overthink it and fall prey to any third date syndrome you might have built up in your head. Just go ahead and flirt with them on text.
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The more you talk to each other, the better you’ll get to know each other. And just in case your third date kiss doesn’t happen, you can always text each other something like, “Why didn’t we kiss? I can’t tell you how much I regret that.”
What the guy is thinking: Should I tell her how I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her or is it too soon?
7. Salvaging an unsuccessful third date
Bad third dates might happen even if the first two were incredibly amazing. But even if the third date was a bust, you need to assume it was an off-night, a mulligan. And you know, that just might have happened because of all the build up surrounding 3rd date expectations. So you need to go easy on yourself and take that pressure off.
Guys would want to go for date number four and get off to a fresh start. However, they do realize that it’s a red flag if both second and third dates were bust, while the first date went well because it was simply the excitement of meeting someone new. Whether you want to continue seeing each other even after a date that was meh, is completely up to both of you.
The guy is thinking: Please give me another chance.
So, the takeaway from this article is that no matter which date you are planning to go on with a guy, initially they are all about testing the waters and then going with the flow. Men just want to enjoy the process, be it in the moment or later on. Dates for them are just another way to see or meet up with you. Don’t get too stressed about failing a third date with a guy, and just connect with him in a natural, friendly way. Do remember you don’t want his mind to get in the way, just win over his heart.
So what are the 3rd date rules? Just be yourself and have fun. It’s as simple as that.
1. What does a third date mean to a guy?
Guys simply look at a third date as an extension of the getting to know your date phase. Also, it may mean they like you and that there’s a definite physical attraction, so intimacy might be on the cards, but let’s not generalize that. However, it may be on the agenda, so don’t be surprised if he drops some hints. Just remember, there’s no hard and fast ‘sex on third date’ rule that exists. It’s about what you want and are comfortable with.
2. Do all guys follow the third date rule?
Traditionally, the third-date rule means that you wait till the third date to have sex. If a person waits till the third date then it is believed that he is serious about the relationship and is thinking long term. But in reality, it depends on two, consensual, dating adults and does not depend on any dating rule book whatsoever.
3. How to impress a guy on the third date?
To be honest, the third date, the fourth date, the fifth date…they do not mean anything to a guy. Just be yourself and be natural and friendly. Your man will stay impressed with you.
So trash your third date expectations and focus on having fun and getting to know each other. That’s what matters in the long run.
4. How many dates to go on before getting into a relationship?
There is no definite or quantitative answer to that obviously, as different people date for different reasons. There are different gradual phases of dating that might evolve into a relationship. Just make sure that both you and your partner are on the same page and enter into a more serious relationship when you both are ready.
5. How many dates before a man falls in love?
Falling in love is one of the most unexpected things and before you know it, voila, you are in love! Though there is no definite number of dates you might need to go on before a man falls in love, make sure you are cultivating a good, strong emotional connection that will lead to a deeper appreciation for each other.