Why Do Guys Stop Texting And Then Start Again? 12 True Reasons Why

Dating experience | | , Content Writer
Updated On: March 26, 2024
Why do guys stop texting and then start again
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When you start dating, the first few weeks are amazing. You hang out a few times. Exchange messages back and forth. Then one day, he goes AWOL. That one day soon becomes a week and you have given up all hope. Until one night, your phone lights up. It’s him again. And you stare at your phone, wondering, “Why do guys stop texting and then start again?”

Exasperating, right? When it happens, all you want to know is: why do guys suddenly stop communicating? After all, it’s hard to shake off the thought, “He quit texting me when things were going so well. Now, why is he back? What does he want?” And it’s equally hard to pretend like it’s a non-issue and resume conversation, like it’s business as usual.

So, if the thought, “We went from texting every day to nothing at all”, has been eating away at you, or you’re wondering what to do when he stops texting and then starts again, you’ve come to the right place. Let’s take a look at the possible reasons why he decided that staying online but leaving you on read was a good idea and what to do when he stops texting.

Why Do Guys Stop Texting And Then Start Again – 12 Real Reasons

“We went from texting every day to nothing. It is strange because things seemed to be going great, we were constantly talking after connecting on a dating app. One day, he quit texting me. Now, he hasn’t texted me in 2 days and I can’t wrap my head around what he wants and what my next move should be,” said Janet, sharing how a guy was sending her mixed signals.

When he texted her back with a “Sorry! Just been such a busy bee at work” she seemed to have forgotten all about how much she agonized over why he went AWOL. The conversation naturally resumed, and as it turned out, he was genuinely caught up ahead of an appraisal at work.

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If you think about it, going incommunicado for a few days in the talking stage or the early phase of dating isn’t that big of a red flag. So before you start saying things like, “His texting patterns have changed, he texted me every day, then stopped”, and end up losing sleep over it, give the guy the benefit of the doubt, he could be dealing with something or have a lot on his plate.

That said, unexplained radio silence doesn’t feel good. And you find your mind occupied with thoughts like, “He said he liked me but he stopped texting me. What went wrong?” “Can he really be so busy that he can’t find time to text or is he just ignoring me?” Does that sound like the story of your life right now? Let’s put your mind at ease with some possible answers to why do guys stop texting and then start again:

Related Reading: 15 Reasons Your Man Never Texts You First But Always Replies To You

1. He is preoccupied or going through something

Why do guys stop texting and then start again? It could simply mean:

  • He is going through something in his personal life 
  • He may not be in the headspace to make small talk or think of creative things to text when the conversation dies
  • He doesn’t want to make you feel like he doesn’t care about you, and that’s why he has taken a step back until he can resolve the issues he is working through. He resumes contact once he is in a better frame of mind
  • He may have had traumatic past experiences that make him tread carefully when investing in someone new

It might still seem unfair to you and you may wonder, “Why did he stop texting me?” The answer to it boils down to the fact that men and women function differently. While most women are better at communicating their feelings, men have a harder time talking about things. 

2. He wants to slow things down

Why do guys stop texting and then start again? One of the reasons behind this strange texting pattern could be that things are moving too fast for his comfort. Kiara, a high school teacher from Phoenix, shares her story that can give you some insight into this behavior pattern. She ran into a guy named Mike at a local bookstore and the two got to talking. It almost felt like love at first sight. The attraction was instant. Within an hour they had exchanged numbers and began to spend time together quite often and kept texting each other till late at night.

Kiara was giddy with happiness. Her days would start with good morning texts from Mike and end with a long conversation. Until one morning, when Mike didn’t text. So, she texted him to find out if he was all right. He told her he was busy and would text back once he had the time. Except he didn’t text back for days. Kiara did not feel good about that at all and wondered, “Why did he stop texting me?”

Related Reading: 21 Serious Relationship Questions To Know Where You Stand

When he finally did text back, she just couldn’t hold back her anger. Mike let her have her say and then he explained his side of the story. Mike said he had started to develop feelings for her. He kept thinking of her all the time and it freaked him out. He thought he was getting into an addictive relationship with Kiara and wanted to spend time apart to figure out his feelings.

So, if you’re wondering, “Why do guys stop texting for a few days and then start again?”, this could be the reason. Often, guys have a hard time coming to terms with the commitment that’s attached to a spontaneous romantic endeavor.

3. He is trying to figure out where he stands with you

Why did he stop texting me
It can be confusing when a guy you like stops texting

ou two have been texting for a while now and things have been going well. Then suddenly all communication stops and just as suddenly, he starts talking again. I know, this break in communication has left you rather confused, wondering, “Why did he quit texting me, did I do or say something I shouldn’t have?”

Chances are your man is testing the waters and trying to assess where he stands with you. He wants to know how deep your feelings for him run.

  • How do you react to his absence?
  • Do you wonder about things to text when the conversation dies?
  • Do you text him a lot asking if he is ok?
  • Do you respond immediately when he finally does text?

Your reactions will help him understand what’s in your heart. In this case, he’s probably confused about whether this is a one-sided relationship. That said, if your feelings for him are genuine and you’re spending a better part of your days contemplating, “Why do guys suddenly stop communicating?”, it won’t be the worst idea to initiate a conversation and see how things pan out.

4. When a guy stops texting you every day, there could be another woman

What does it mean when a guy slows down texting you? Sometimes when the texts start to taper off, it means you are not the only woman he is texting. There could be someone else who has his interests. Especially if his responses give a vibe that he is not interested, it’s one of the signs he wants you to stop texting him.

If he has notably toned down all the compliments and the cute ways you two used to talk, it can be because he’s busy doing it with someone else. If you have been exclusive, just ask him, “Why did you quit texting me? It’s always better to know. If he has developed feelings for another woman while in a relationship with you, you are better off without him.

5. He wants to keep you on your toes

Pamela was smitten with Dave. However, one fine day, he just stopped talking to her. Assuming something must have come up, she tried to be understanding about it. But he wouldn’t even respond to her texts. Heartbroken, she confided in her best friend Kate.

“He was so into me then stopped talking. We went from texting every day to nothing. One moment we were flirting, talking about things, laughing, and everything was going great. And then just like that, he was gone.” said Pamela. Now I am wondering about things to text when conversation dies. Kate pointed out that perhaps Dave was playing hard to get. And just hours after this conversation, Pamela got a text from Dave asking her to meet up for a date.

If you’re wondering, “Why won’t he text me every day like he used to?”, perhaps, just like Dave, the guy you’re with might be trying to appear mysterious. While a little mystery and curiosity are great for keeping things fresh and exciting, stopping all communication to get you to chase him qualifies as manipulation.  So, ask yourself if you want to put up with this sort of romantic manipulation.

6. Maybe he thinks it will not work out

“He said he liked me but we went from texting every day to nothing. Why did he stop texting me?” It can truly be heartbreaking to be left guessing why someone who seemed to like you and enjoy your company would take a step back without an explanation. But if you really see, the explanation is right in front of you. Sometimes a guy will stop talking to you or slow down communication because he feels that it might not work out between you two.

He may take the easy way out by simply cutting you out. Unfortunately for you, that might mean you have to move on without closure. Also, if he doesn’t respond to your texts, it is one of the clearest signs he wants you to stop texting him. Stop fretting about things to text when conversation dies. Move on and let him be. 

Have you ever been ghosted?

7. You may have offended him

Why do guys stop texting and then start again? Perhaps, you may have said or done something to offend him. It might not have necessarily been something you said. Maybe the way you said it triggered an unpleasant memory for him.

Are you wondering, “Why won’t he text me every day anymore?” Give him time. He needs a little space right now to compose himself. If he’s genuinely interested and wants to see where things go, he will reach out. So instead of worrying about it and fretting over what to do when he stops texting, try to give him the space he needs. Double texting isn’t attractive anyway.

Related Reading: Is Caspering Less Brutal Than Ghosting?

8. He is playing games

“Will he text me every day like he used to? Why did he stop or slow down?” Well, he could be a bad boy. We have all dated a bad boy at least once in our lives. And the thing about these bad boys is that they like to play games. If your guy stops texting all of a sudden, and you realize it has become a pattern, it’s a sign that your guy is playing games and may just be in it to waste your time.

Players want a girl to think about them all the time. He will chase you and charm you till you feel like a princess. Then, out of the blue, completely ghost you, even on social media. And then, resume contact like nothing happened. In the process, you may be left agonizing over, “What am I doing wrong here? Why can’t I get him to stick around?” Well, in this case, it’s 100% him, and not you. And this befuddled headspace you’re in is exactly what keeps him ticking.

If you’ve figured out that you’re dealing with a player, instead of thinking about how to get him to stick around, figure out how to get rid of him. Because if you don’t, he’ll suck you so deep into this hot-and-cold dance that you wouldn’t know how to break free and liberate yourself. Think about it, wouldn’t you rather spend time building yourself than waste time waiting for him to text?

9. He is really into you and that scares him

If your guy randomly pulled the disappearing act on you while you guys were discussing date plans and a weekend away together, it’s bound to leave you all riled up and confused and ask, why do guys stop texting for a few days?

The answer could well be that the intensity of his emotions is intimidating him or he is simply scared of commitment and now that this new relationship is starting to head in that direction, he doesn’t know how to deal with it. Now, it’s for you to figure out whether you want to wait around patiently while he figures out his priorities or move on and find someone who isn’t afraid of taking your hand and walking toward a promising new beginning.

Related Reading: 15 Signs He Is Ready To Settle Down With You

10. Why would a guy stop texting for a few days? Your indifference

It had just been 2 weeks since Misa had exchanged numbers with Steve. She felt she had to be cool or she might freak him out, so she tried to play hard to get. Misa didn’t text him often nor did she reach out on social media and was non-committal to all their plans. But her plan backfired. You see, Steve genuinely liked Misa.

So, when Misa started behaving indifferently, he was heartbroken. He felt that Misa was not into him. He decided to stop texting her entirely. But fortunately for Misa, he decided to give it another chance and they both let their inhibitions go and just followed their hearts. Misa and Steve have been together for 2 years now. What changed? They decided to communicate better.

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11. You ran out of things to talk about

When you have been dating someone for a long time, it is natural for the frequency of the conversations to go down. If it feels like you have run out of things to talk about, dialing down the frequency of communication may not be such a big deal. After all, taking some space is better than asking each other, “So how are things?” and “What’s new”, over and over again.

If this is where you’re at, and are wondering what to do when he stops texting, put more effort into nurturing and strengthening your bond. Try new activities together to revive your connection. Here are some ideas:

  • Go out on more dates
  • Go mini-golfing
  • Go to a yoga class·
  • Try to bake something together

12. Why do guys stop texting and then start again? He is not a texter

As hard as it is to believe, some people don’t like to text or talk over the phone. If a guy who hates texting is trying to keep up a conversation throughout the day, it’s a herculean task for him and he deserves all the praise he can get. So, if you wonder where your man keeps running off to, don’t worry. He is right there. At home, searching the internet for tips on talking to an attractive girl. It’s best not to assume the worst. Wait and watch how the situation plays out.

Related Reading: 7 Things You Can Do When A Guy Acts Interested, Then Backs Off

What To Do If He Stops Texting You Suddenly?

You’re not wrong in expecting a guy to respond to your texts at least within the same day. When that doesn’t happen, your mind can be clouded with thoughts like, “He texted me every day, then stopped. Is there something wrong with me?” Or, “He said he liked me but he stopped texting me. Does he not miss talking to me?”

Now is the time to figure out what your course of action should be. What to do when he stops texting can depend on a lot of different factors such as:-

  • At what stage in the relationship did he stop texting
  • How emotionally invested you were
  • How well you have coped with this ghosting act he has pulled on you.

We’ve rounded up a few things you can do when he stops texting suddenly, see what works best for you, depending on your circumstances:

1. Do not blame yourself

what to do when he stops texting
Don’t play the blame game if he doesn’t text

“We went from texting every day to nothing and I don’t even know why. Did I do something to put him off?” Thoughts like these are bound to come up but try not to dwell on them. This is the time to practice self-love, not go down the rabbit hole of self-blame. Besides, no matter what the reason, if a guy has stopped texting without any explanation, that’s on him, not you.

2. Remember the 24-hour rule of texting

When a guy cuts communication, it’s only natural that you’re consumed by curiosity about what went wrong. There may be a hundred questions on your mind but shooting these as they come to you will only make you seem desperate. When a guy slows down communication and then sees the signs of a potential clingy girlfriend in the woman he is talking to, it’ll only drive him further away.

So, no matter how desperate you are for answers, stick to the 24-hour rule, which is that you can send him 1 text every 24 hours that he has been incommunicado. When using this rule, it’s also important to know when to stop. It’s okay to send him messages for the next couple of days or to check in or ask what went wrong, but if you still don’t get a response, it’s one of the signs he wants you to stop texting him so stop. Don’t put your dignity on the line just to figure out why guys suddenly stop texting.

Related Reading: 11 Tips To Get Over Someone You Never Dated

3. Focus on moving on

“He texted me every day, then stopped. What should I do?” Well, the simplest answer is that you follow his lead and move on too. Instead, focus on your well-being and peace of mind. When you find yourself pining for him, remind yourself that there is plenty of fish in the sea and prepare to dip your toes in the dating pool again.

4. Steer clear from risqué texts

“Accidentally” sending him a text that was meant for your best friend or drunk texting him are big no-nos. No matter how innocent you make it look, he will see right through your tactics and that will just make you come across as pathetic. And you’re not pathetic. You’re a wonderfully unique woman who deserves to be loved for who she is.

5. If he comes back, don’t give in easily

When he ghosts you and comes back, the best approach is to get back at him by not responding to his messages. But chances are your curiosity, anger, and residual feelings for him will make you want to re-establish contact with him. In that case, tread carefully as he may be playing mind games. Don’t ignore the elephant in the room and act as if it’s completely okay to pick up from where you left off.

Ask him why he went from texting every day to nothing and what made him come back. Was he so busy that he could not get back to you? Only — and only — if you find his reasons credible and his apology (don’t even consider talking to him if he isn’t apologetic about his behavior) sincere should you consider rebuilding your connection with him.

Key Pointers

  • It can be extremely hurtful and confusing when a guy suddenly stops texting you or goes incommunicado without any explanation
  • The reasons behind this behavior can range from being genuinely preoccupied with a family emergency, playing mind games, finding the connection too intense, or just being bad at texting
  • While it can be hard, try not to dwell over why he stopped talking to you or blame yourself for it; instead, focus on self-care and work toward moving on
  • If he gets back in touch after a spell of unexplained silence, do not give in easily. Make sure he realizes the impact of his actions on you and is apologetic before you even consider giving him a second chance

Dating is all about testing the waters. There are going to be challenges and miscommunications. There will be things you don’t understand about your man. It is best to talk it out with your partner. Most importantly, it is imperative to implement boundaries. Talk to your partner about what is acceptable and what is a deal-breaker. This one conversation will go a long way for your relationships.

FAQs

1. Why does he seem interested but doesn’t text?

There could be numerous reasons why he seems interested but doesn’t text – maybe he feels that he is falling in love too fast and is scared of his own emotions, maybe he is just not a fan of technology, can’t be bothered to engage in small talk or he could be using the classic hot-and-cold technique to manipulate you. Or he could be playing mind games to get control over you. He will text then stop and you will be at your wits end wondering what happened. Be wise and move on as fast as you can. .

2. Is it normal for texting to slow down?

Yes, it is perfectly normal for texting to slow down once the initial giddiness of the new romance begins to die down. As two people become more comfortable with each other and more assured that they’re going to be there for one another, this need to keep texting constantly can fade away.

3. What does it mean when a guy slows down texting you?

When a guy slows down texting you, it could mean a number of things. One, he may be taking some time to figure out his own emotions and get a sense of where this connection is going. Two, he may be too intimidated by the growing intimacy and may dial back on the texting to get some space. Three, he may not be interested in you and this is a way of conveying that.

4. What should I do if the guy I like stops texting?

The best thing would be to find out why if you can. Sometimes personal things can get in the way and he stops texting. But if it seems he is no longer interested, don’t blame yourself, as it may have absolutely nothing to do with you. Focus on moving on and prioritize self-care. If he comes back, carefully weigh the pros of giving him a chance, based on what he tells you.  There’s love out there, your perfect partner will come along. And, you will never have to stare at your phone wondering why he isn’t texting. 

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