Have you fallen in love with someone and are wondering if this is the right guy for you? Or has a man proposed to you, and you are searching for all the qualities in a good man that deem him to be husband material? If yes, then this piece will tell you the qualities of a good man that you need to look for before saying yes to him.
Marriage is a life-altering decision and there are certain things that people should never compromise on. Sometimes, love is not enough to keep a relationship going. There are certain qualities in a man that make a relationship work – qualities that make you want him in your life for the years to come.
Qualities Of A Good Man
Everyone has an ideal partner in their mind before they get married. I had created a dream boy in my head whom I considered to be the definition of a perfect man. But life can’t be lived with someone who is ‘perfect’ but doesn’t have the qualities of a good man.
Your man doesn’t have to be perfect. He doesn’t have to look like Bradley Cooper or Zayn Malik. But he needs to have certain attributes that are required for a marriage to work. There are many qualities women admire in men. So, before you pop open that champagne bottle, go over this list and see if your man checks all the qualities to look for in a man.
1. He sees you as an equal
He respects you, adores you, buys you cute things, and he’s got all that alluring magnetism to charm you. All these things are secondary. This is the real question — does he see you as an equal? This is the first question I ask my friends when they are dating someone or when they are ready to get married.
Treating your partner as an equal is one of the most important qualities in a good man. He can’t think of you as inferior to him. That will only distort the balance, and an imbalanced relationship is sure to collapse soon. If you don’t know how, then there are many tips to create balance with your SO.
2. He is kind
This is perhaps one of the most wanted positive attributes of a man. One needs to be kind in order to be a good person. Did you know that little acts of kindness have the potential to make this world a better and happier place? It allows people to connect with each other and build strong and meaningful relationships.
Kindness radiates positive vibes. When someone shows kindness toward you or themselves, it can boost confidence and self-esteem. Kindness is one of the most important qualities in a partner that you cannot compromise on.
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3. He makes you laugh
He doesn’t have to make you laugh all day long but enough to make you realize that he is the one. If he makes you laugh when you’re down and feeling dejected, then those are good traits in a man. That should tell you that he will be there for you to pick you up on your worst days.
Laughing your heart out with the love of your life is one of the purest moments ever. No filters. Zero fear of being judged. No one to tell you that you look ugly when you’re laughing, or to say that your laughter sounds weird. Laughing together creates an atmosphere that surpasses all negativity. Couples that laugh together, stay together.
My partner and I find ways to make each other laugh. And when we’re ignoring each other after a fight, it’s those memories of utmost purity, of us laughing and having a great time, which makes me want to end the fight as soon as possible.
4. He is your friend before he is your lover
It’s a rare thing to find both love and friendship in one person. The two of you can share everything with each other. All the darkest secrets and fears can be shared without being scared that they won’t like you anymore. When he listens to your past heartbreaks as a friend, yet loves you with all his heart, then that’s one of the best qualities in a good man. There are so many reasons why you should be friends before lovers.
Loving someone is more than just kisses, 3 AM snuggles, and date nights. It’s also the painful menstrual nights and the bad hair days. There is a certain kind of intimacy that comes along when your boyfriend becomes your best friend. If he is a good man in a relationship and is your best friend, then that’s one of the qualities that will make the relationship stronger.
5. He shows compassion and empathy
A good man in a relationship will always show compassion and empathy toward you and those around you. Both empathy and compassion spring from the same desire – to put yourself in another person’s shoes. These two emotions are needed in everyday life. Can you imagine living with someone who isn’t sensitive to what you are going through? There are so many ways to be more empathetic in a relationship.
Such qualities in a good man are rare to find as both are important in strengthening the relationship. It reduces stress and creates emotional awareness between couples. Empathy helps understand the burden of heavy thoughts. Being compassionate promotes resilience. It will help you put aside judgments and be there for each other in difficult times.
6. Cute romantic gestures
While some people love a lot of extravagance and pizzazz, some prefer little acts of love. I am one of them. Waking up to his good morning texts, receiving funny memes, him texting you to see if you’ve reached home, taking long walks on the beach despite sand getting in his eyes – are all adorable qualities in a good man. Just looking out for you every step of the way is a quality everyone wants in their man. Some romantic gestures just make it all better.
Taking you out to dinner even when there’s nothing to celebrate, or surprising you with fresh flowers and brownies, is one of the positive attributes of a man. Ah, that’s how I fell for my current partner. If he takes time out of his busy schedule just to spend time with you, it should tell you about his intentions. He is not playing around with you. He is serious about you.
7. Qualities in a good man include being thoughtful and helpful
Sometimes, we are so engrossed in our own lives that we forget there are others who are dependent on you, such as an ailing mother or an unemployed father. When your significant other is thoughtful, he will make sure his loved ones are being looked after. Does he look out for his friends and siblings if they are in dire need of help? Is he a good son to his parents? All of these contribute to good qualities in a partner. These are some of the things every girl wants from her boyfriend.
Gone are the days where only women were expected to take care of the kids, of their parents, and even their husband’s parents. If a wife is taking care of the kids, so should the husband. If you think your partner won’t mind changing the diapers and cleaning up the mess when your baby throws up, say yes to him without any hesitation. Those are the qualities in a good man for a happy marriage.
8. He is responsible
By responsible, I don’t mean to say look for a man who will take responsibility for you financially. If you are independent, you don’t have to worry about a man looking after your expenses. But if he feels responsible to keep you happy and content, then that’s the kind of man you need to say yes to for marriage.
A man who gets up and goes to work in order to have a good life is one of the positive attributes of a man. If your partner is hardworking, honest, motivated, and has ambitions and goals, then what are you waiting for? A driven man is better than a man who doesn’t know what he wants in life.
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9. Loyalty and faithfulness
If you need love to build a relationship, then you need loyalty to keep it going. Is it even a relationship when one of you isn’t loyal? Being loyal brings about an assurity that you will be there for your partner no matter what. It’s a way of promising each other that nothing can come in the way of your happiness and peace. If he constantly tries to build loyalty in a relationship, then he is the one for you.
Faithfulness is central to any relationship. Being loyal means being content with each other. Loyalty and faithfulness keep the relationship pure. If you break this trust, it will wreak havoc with your relationship. So, look for a man who is loyal to you, his friends, and family.
10. Being patient is one of the qualities in a good man
In this fast-paced world, patience is thinning and on the verge of perishing in most people. Fast food restaurants, fast internet, and fast forwarding the scenes in a movie when it gets boring – all of these are reducing our ability to stay patient. Patience is one of the must-have qualities in a partner. Knowing how to be patient in a relationship is an essential quality these days.
When we act impatiently toward someone, it shows you don’t have the time to listen to and deal with their issues. When you are being patient with your partner, it will help them see the best in you. It’s one of the most meaningful and underrated qualities of a good man.
11. He is a good listener
How many times have you prattled on without knowing if the other person is interested in your stories or not? In a relationship, it becomes important to be a good listener. Communication can never be one-sided.
The person who is talking is not only expressing their feelings, but also hoping the listener is understanding and empathizing with what is being shared. A good man in a relationship will listen to you intently and won’t be judgemental.
12. He supports your dreams
The most valuable thing your partner can do for you is support your dreams and ambitions. We fail many times before reaching our goals. If they support you despite all the failures, it means they are opening a safe space for you. There are many fundamentals of support in a relationship such as emotional support, esteem support and informational support. All of which are important in a relationship.
A supportive partner is one of the qualities to look for in a man because it means he loves you unconditionally. As the famous saying goes, “Grow together and glow together.”
13. He is good in bed
We can’t overlook this, can we? It’s a fulfilling aspect of most relationships. For many people, it is vital to have a satisfying sexual experience to sustain a relationship. Sex is important to feel intimate with your partner – as long as it is consensual, fun, and pleasurable for both the parties. Look for the signs that he is satisfying you in bed.
Sexual acts help you bond with your partner. It is also an opportunity to show affection and love. It helps you feel secure in the relationship. If your man is good in bed and makes your toes curl, then it’s one of the green flags you’ve been looking for.
14. Values emotional intimacy
There are many types of intimacy in a relationship. One of which is emotional intimacy. While it’s important to have physical intimacy, it is equally important to have emotional intimacy with your partner. Emotional intimacy involves the risk of being vulnerable, open, and honest. If your partner has shown you his flaws, scars, failures, and insecurities, then he is the one for you.
A good man in a relationship will never be afraid of showing his vulnerable side to his partner. While some men think it will impact their manhood if they cry in front of their partner, an ideal man won’t be afraid of crying his heart out with the person he loves. It means he loves you to the point of being an emotional wreck in front of you. That’s another green flag, folks!
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15. He is courteous and chivalrous
If you think chivalry is outdated and irrelevant in times of equality and feminism, then this point may not apply to you. Chivalry can be an admirable quality. He opens the car door for you, lets you walk inside the restaurant first, pulls the chair for you – are some qualities in a good man that I look for.
Some men are turned off by feminists. If he is one such man, then he isn’t the one for you. Being courteous involves being gentle and soft. It’s the little things such as thanking your partner for making tea for you, or saying please before asking you to fetch a glass of water. It all just amounts to being gentlemanly, civilized, and respectful.
16. He respects your family
When you are in a serious relationship, it becomes essential to respect each others’ families. If you are looking for good qualities in a man, then notice how he treats the members of your family – the people who raised you and cared for you.
If he can’t respect your flesh and blood, you can’t expect him to respect you or your progeny. An ideal man would never disrespect your loved ones intentionally.
17. He is emotionally mature
Emotional maturity is the ability to understand, manage, and control your emotions when they are at a peak. Challenging situations cause reckless emotions, but if a man is mature enough to handle a heated argument, then those are good traits in a man. If he is emotionally mature, then it is one of the reasons to stay in a relationship and even think about marriage.
Emotional immaturity will create problems in the relationship. A man who doesn’t know how to restrain his emotions or control his anger can never be an ideal man for you. They will find it hard to communicate and empathize. Most people with emotional immaturity are known to be selfish and aloof toward other people’s emotions and feelings.
18. He isn’t shy to ask for your advice
If a man isn’t shy to ask you for your advice and opinion, then those are the qualities in a good man that will keep you happy for the rest of your life. It means he is including you in his big and small decisions. It means he wants to hear your opinions because he respects you. It is how a man shows love without saying it.
If your partner asks for your advice, he is subtly letting you know that your opinions matter to him. It’s a small act but believe me, that little act helps in creating a balanced relationship. It has a bonding power which cannot be compared to other qualities of a good man.
19. He never stops to get to know you
Some people quit wanting to know their partner, once they are sure that the other person is madly in love with them. Why do we stop being curious about someone once we know that they aren’t going anywhere? These are not qualities in a good man for marriage. There are many relationship building questions to ask your partner to get to know them better.
You and your partner should never stop asking questions about each other. Always be curious about one another. If he’s asking questions about you, you will know that your partner is still interested in you. By curious, I don’t mean to say that you poke your nose in each other’s business all the time. Just don’t ever stop learning new things about your partner. Think of it as maintenance for continued growth.
20. He is caring
The feeling of being one with each other is important in a relationship. That oneness helps in creating a strong bond. If your partner is caring and shows you affection emotionally and physically, then those are the qualities in a good man. Tenderness and care are the basics of a romantic relationship. These are the ways to show someone you care.
Taking care of someone you love is known to release oxytocin known as the ‘love hormone’. Show that you care in small ways. If they are sick, cook for them. If they are stuck in a problem, find ways to help them get out of it. If your partner always shows you that they are there for you, then he is an ideal man who possesses all the qualities to look for in a man for marriage.
21. He respects your beliefs
Good traits in a man include how they react and respond to your beliefs. Everyone grows up with a set of beliefs and value systems which they practice on an everyday basis. Whether it’s politics or religion or basic morality, if your opinions don’t align, then all you have to do is be respectful and don’t pass hurtful slurs to bring their beliefs down. If he doesn’t value your faith and beliefs, then it is one of the signs of lack of respect in a relationship.
Your partner doesn’t have to agree with your beliefs but they should be respectful toward them. You can agree to disagree, but keep the lines of communication open in order to build trust and respect. Having mutual respect for each other’s beliefs will be beneficial for the relationship in the long run. A good man in a relationship will always know and respect your boundaries.
Good traits in a man involve all of the above. These are essentials and can’t be glossed over. If you have found all these qualities in a good man, then what are you waiting for? Go ahead and say a big yes. It’s time to flaunt that ring.
A good man is defined by his loyalty and his ability to stay secure and confident. A good man will treat people with kindness and humility. He will be supportive of your dreams and he will always be a man of his words.
I personally would use the word “harmless” to describe a man. If a man will never hurt you intentionally, then he is the right one for you.
A high quality man is smart. He will make you laugh. He will stand with you through thick and thin without any hesitation. He is self-aware and doesn’t let ego or arrogance get in the way of his relationships.