The kind of girl guys regret losing is not someone who sobs uncontrollably after drunk dialing him one night or ‘pretends’ to run into him at the grocery store. She doesn’t accidentally hit like on his Instagram post from 2017 while stalking him in the wee hours of the night or talk about him so much in their common social circles that it eventually reaches his ears.
Men love a woman who knows her self-worth and won’t lower the bar for anyone. Whether you’re going through a sad breakup after a long, serious relationship or have been ghosted by a guy you started doting on in a short time, let it shatter your heart into bits but not your self-esteem.
Give yourself a two-day moping period where you watch all the romcoms in the world and order in ice cream like it’s nobody’s business. Everyone deserves that sometimes. But once that two-day period is over, it is essential that you bounce back to the confident woman that you are and show him what he lost.
The 11 Tips To Make You The Kind Of Girl Guys Regret Losing
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We aren’t giving you this crash course on turning into the kind of girl guys regret losing because we want to see him suffer. Neither is it a competition to find out who moves on faster after the relationship ends. We aren’t asking you to play games or become a straight-faced ice queen to hurt the man’s hero instinct.
Instead, we’re asking you to work on yourself, leave the bad times in the past, and welcome the new things and opportunities that life is yet to offer you. This will, in turn, help you feel confident in your own skin and stop feeling empty after a breakup. That’s the first step in learning how to be the girl he regrets losing. We bring you 11 more tips to help you along the way:
1. Bounce back quickly
After a breakup, most women tend to become recluses, go into hibernation, and do a social media detox to help themselves heal. As important as all of these acts of self-care are, you cannot stay in this mode forever. Squeeze the most out of that time so you can bounce back quickly from this difficult love situation. After all, you cannot put your own life on hold indefinitely for some guy who fell short of treating you right. So, here’s what you do:
- Don’t suppress your pain to come off as a strong, confident woman soon after he broke your heart
- Don’t wait for him to give you closure, it may or may not come
- Refrain from alcohol abuse or partying the pain away
- Deal with your emotional upheavals in private instead of getting into a social media feud or a public squabble
- Remember, playing the victim won’t do you any good
- Make an effort to go back to your old routine as soon as possible. Go to those yoga classes you had signed up for, post fun Instagram stories like always, and continue to be yourself
Related Reading: Heal A Broken Heart With These 15 Tips From Experts
2. How to be the girl he regrets losing? Don’t be rude to him
When Alison bumped into Paul a month after he cheated on her, he was sure she was going to tear him apart. But instead of making a snarky comment or saying something hurtful, she was as nice as pie, “Hey, good to see you. How’s school going?” Alison wasn’t going to be the girl who puts someone down just to satisfy her wounded ego. She decided to kill him with kindness instead. And if you are wondering whether it’s worth being nice to an ex who broke off the deep connection you shared, here’s why it is:
- Throwing mud at each other does nothing more than induce negativity
- Being impolite won’t change a guy’s mind about the breakup or make him feel guilty about losing a woman
- The rage and vindictive thoughts only distract you from your real objectives and priorities in life
- Being nice to him would restore your faith in yourself as a good human being and expedite the healing process
3. Care for those around you
Do guys regret hurting a good girl? Eventually, when they start comprehending her value on a deeper level. And especially when they see that girl doing sweet and caring things for others that she once did for him. The more tightly knit you stay with your friends and family, the more he will miss you. You see, being the kind of girl guys regret losing is not that hard.
When he sees how much love you give to those around you, it is only natural that he will reminisce and want it for himself. And once he sees how endearing you really are, he won’t be able to help but think if he made a huge mistake by letting you go and will start wondering if he has just been fighting his feelings for you.
4. The kind of woman men repent of losing doesn’t linger on
So he walked over to your desk and complimented you on the way you’ve done your hair, “Something is different about you today.” Now just because he was being extra polite doesn’t mean that you have to entertain him and buy him a coffee or something. Let’s remember that he is still the guy who broke your heart. To make sure he regrets losing a high-value woman such as you, here’s what you need to do:
- Pull away if you sense that he’s trying to get too close
- Don’t shun him entirely but don’t let him into your life either
- Quickly walk out of the situation or tell him that you’re busy and need to work
- Be mature enough to act nice but not silly enough to make the same mistake again
Related Reading: Push Pull Relationship – 9 Ways To Overcome It
5. Want to make him regret leaving a great woman like you? Refuse his advances
The repentance for losing a woman only hits a man hard when he realizes there is no way left to win her back. And that’s your trump card to ensure regret instills some good sense into him. You can’t let him make up for the hurt by asking you out again. When the reason you two broke up finally gets to him, he may try to slide into your DMs again and see if you’re still up for something.
For the sake of your own self-respect, we urge you to stop his advances right in the tracks. The more you give in, the more he will disrespect you and may never realize how badly he hurt you. Sometimes guys pull away before they commit. But eventually, they realize your worth and come running back to you! To stand apart from all the other women this guy has on a string, don’t make it easy for him to crawl back into your life.
6. He will regret losing you when he sees you smile exuberantly
Nothing hurts a man’s ego more than your happiness despite his heartbreaking actions. The repercussions of losing a high-value woman become more prominent when he sees you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself and being happy on your own. Rita, a reader from Ohio, shares her experience, “I have learned from my past breakups that roaming around in sweatpants, with a glum face and puffy eyes does not work in your favor at all.
“He’s going to think that all you do is miss him. You have got to hit him with that million-watt smile of yours and he will be super confused as to why you’re not upset over the breakup. You never know, he might even come back asking for a second chance!” Men love a woman who can brave even the roughest storms. For that, all you need to do is to bring some positive changes in your life:
- Cut ties with the past and practice being more grounded
- Feel grateful for all the loving people and good times in your life
- Selfless good deeds like serving at a soup kitchen or volunteering at a pet shelter might take your mind off the pain
- Keep in touch with people who give you positive vibes and energy
- As hard as it is, try to forgive your ex for the sake of your peace of mind
7. Continue showing up to social situations where he is present
He will regret losing you the moment he realizes that his departure from your life hasn’t changed you that much. But if you give him the slightest hint that you’re avoiding him, his male ego will get a kick because now he thinks you’re not strong enough to face him. And these are not exactly the kind of girls guys regret losing.
So if your common friends are getting married, or there’s just a Fourth of July party at your college, don’t back down. And why should you miss out on spending time with your friends just because he might be there too? Little tips for the day: no mind games, no overdressing to draw his attention, or bringing a date (as a part of the act) to make him feel jealous.
Keep it casual and be the most nonchalant version of yourself when he is around. In this context, a Reddit user suggests, “Treat them politely but with indifference…like they are no one special and they never were.” That will make sure that regret is always there in his mind for hurting a kind and loyal girl like you.
8. Invest in a new look
I mean, who hasn’t colored their hair after a breakup? In fact, if it was one of those office romances where you continue to see each other every day, this is a great way to become the kind of girl guys regret losing. Get a snazzy new powder-blue blazer, wear it to work, and watch his jaw drop as he sees you walking out of the elevator. To show him, “If you dumped a great girl, you will rue the day”, here are a few makeover ideas to accent the confident woman in you:
- If retail therapy is your thing, a couple of trendy outfits in your wardrobe might help you feel good
- A new haircut, funky hair colors, or a transition from glasses to contact lenses always comes in rescue
- Makeovers are not all about clothes and hairdos. You could follow a fitness regime to get into shape
- Or you can try committing to a healthy routine to bring an overall change in lifestyle like good food, journaling, jogging, meditating
- Taking care of your mental health should be your top priority. If that means consulting a professional, so be it
Related Reading: 19 Dos And Don’ts After A Breakup
9. The kind of girl guys regret losing is the one who excels at her career
Yup. It’s time to use your horrible breakup as motivation and put all that pent-up energy into your job. The better you do at your job and other aspects of life, the more he will regret treating you badly because he will realize that you’re way ahead of the curve and he lost somebody truly wonderful.
Do guys regret hurting a good girl? Not necessarily. Good girls are easy to walk all over. But do guys regret hurting an independent woman who is driven and unstoppable? Hell yes to that! The tables have now turned and everyone wants to date a bold, self-reliant woman these days. Not the kind of woman who feels so bad after a breakup that she moves back to her parent’s house in Alabama.
10. Tell him what you’ve been up to
My upstairs neighbors, Betty and Michael, who had been together a few years, had a fallout recently. Now every time they meet at a party, I have to endure their catfights as a common friend. So, I had to talk Betty out of the situation, “Don’t steer every conversation toward your breakup and start snapping at him. When he knows you’re still ruminating over it, he will only pull away.
“You want to send him the message, “If you dumped a great girl, you have to live with regrets”, right? Then stop feeling sorry for yourself and show him how well you are doing after him.” In case, you too ever have to make small talk with an ex in a social situation, give him a glimpse of how the breakup turned out to be a blessing in your life.
- You can talk about how busy you are with work and pursuing hobbies, passions, or side hustles
- Tell him about all that you’ve been up to, from your solo trips to furnishing a new apartment
- Or there is always Instagram to deck a happy feed full of pictures about how you work, study, eat healthy, do art and journal, work out, get proper sleep, and still make time to look fabulous each day
Just a little reminder, when you can flaunt your happiness without any hint of resentment or making it sound like retaliation, that’s when you are truly liberated from his shadow and can start living for yourself.
Related Reading: Dating An Independent Woman- 15 Things You Should Know
11. He will regret treating you badly once he knows you have moved on
To seal the deal, if you really want to be one of those girls guys regret losing, don’t rant on your social media about how all men are trash and ruthless, or just complete liars. Instead, believe in creating love and happiness for yourself once again. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship and we believe your true partner is just around the corner.
Go out there and date, be it through dating apps or other ways of meeting men. He will regret treating you badly once he sees the right man treating you like a queen. So don’t be disheartened and blame all the other guys because of one bad apple. The day he finds out you’ve finally moved on is the day he will regret losing a woman as beautiful and kind-hearted as you. So:
- Don’t give in to the weak moments and temptations of getting back together
- Be kind to yourself – cut yourself some slack if you can’t give your best to everything at all times
- Try not to dwell in the past – be open to new possibilities and the idea of trusting and falling for another person
- Meanwhile, do whatever it takes to stay productive, happy, and healthy (both mentally and physically)
- If you want him to regret losing a woman like you, try to minimize the post-breakup moping period and claim your normal life back
- Resist being vulnerable in front of him – that means no shouting, being civil to each other, and yet not overly friendly
- Don’t melt instantly if he asks for a second chance
- Flaunt your happiness, the fulfilling life you are leading, and your successful career to make him miss you even more
- He will regret losing you the day you find someone who knows your worth and truly appreciates you
With that, we come to an end to this little journey that hopefully told you all you need to know about becoming the kind of girl guys regret losing. Remember, the more you hold onto him, the more he will want to resist it. So it’s just better to back off, focus on yourself and be the best you can ever be! You’ll see him gravitating back toward you in no time.
This article has been updated in April 2023.
Men regret losing the kind of woman who is emotionally independent, bold enough to take care of her own life and happiness, and kind to her near and dear ones. She doesn’t look back after someone disrespects her and won’t give in easily to the proposition of getting back together with that person.
Breakups may not always hit guys instantly but sooner or later they do realize the value of what they have lost. It happens when they fail to find another relationship where they feel as loved and understood as it was with you. They realize their mistake when they get played or treated the same way they treated you. And of course, when you finally move on, it hits them hard to see all doors closed.