Enrique Iglesias once jokingly told Anna Kournikova: “You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love …;
I wish every lover had similar sportsmanship after their breakup (Love is not a sport or is it?). Kind of cute to believe in love this deeply while it lasts but not sure if the feeling survives in today’s day and age amongst couples after they decide to split like a pair; only one way to tell. Here’s how I and few I know have dodged the bullets, after breakups. (And no, I will survive song doesn’t heal as much anymore frankly).
A quick note for beginners OR rather the (un)fortunate ones
Table of Contents
So what is a break-up? In the context of human relationships, it means two people who decide not to meet as a couple or do things as a couple.
Example couples who are either in love or just for ‘A Night at an ONs-center’ arrangement; meaning for a hook-up OR to simply put; couples who used to only meet during erections – decide to explore life independently while respecting each other’s differences. A la – Netflix, eat, masturbate and sleep (choose your sequence).
Indian men and breakup
It’s said that Indian men are not wired to accept a breakup amicably because their egos are bigger than their you-know-what. So don’t be surprised if after a breakup they get drunk and shout “Basanti!!” below their exs balcony. Post-breakup the fave lit-and-movie character for Indian men so far was Devdas because he gave them ample reason to drink gallons and lie by the roadside drain. But all that’s changed now. Devdas is passé, tears are passé, some do believe in seeking revenge by sharing intimate photos of their ex on the net or end up messing up things for her if she has moved on, but let’s not generalize. That’s a minuscule part of the Indian population. Indian men usually grapple with the going away of their girl for some time and then they do move on, too. While they are in the process of getting over the breakup and mending their heart there are a few things they do. And trust me I am talking from experience.
What All We Indian Men Do To Overcome Breakup
Since I love narrating from a first-person perspective, the following are my real and made-up ploys to escape nightmares of breakups, FFs. (For friends’ sake).
1. Drink like crazy
Buy two-port wine bottles from a wine shop near Versova and drink with your buddy on the rocks. It gives a strange high, strange happiness and you do feel like you own the world. Well yeah I know does sound a bit cliché but all Indian men do get over their breakup with the bottle.
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drink like crazy
2. Still wait for her
Wait at the bus stop for someone special who isn’t ‘either yours’ OR ‘just yours’; get tired waiting for your imaginary fling and fall asleep. Send a picture on your WhatsApp story while you look like a hobo. And hope your picture goes viral. (o.k. don’t do this for now waiting for the right time, if you really were/are serious about this idea).
Visit a local library and find something that’s worth laughing about. Yeah, that’s fine if you have never been there before books do have a soothing effect. And you never know the silence might be worth it or that pretty lady sitting there with a book she could make you ‘laugh’.
3. Go for an open mic gig
It’s a great place to express yourself. Write down a few post-breakup funny instances and inspire others to survive better without being bitter because of life’s beautiful.
That’s the worst thing you could do if you are going through a breakup. People nursing a broken heart tend to have a tendency to stick to the karaoke mic and the podium and they usually don’t leave unless beaten up. (Yes! Am serious)
5. Stay with friends
Nearby obviously. I am not telling you to relocate. Staying with friends is as such fun and bitching about the ex babe is even more fun. Just don’t end up drunk texting her. The consequences are never good.
6 Exercise seriously
Join a gym, running group or simply borrow a friend’s bicycle and go for a long spin. This is the best thing Indian men end up doing post break up. So next time you see a enthu guy at Zumba class it could be the broken heart effect that’s got him ticking.
Take a break from a virtual world (but that doesn’t translate into shoplifting). Look at the sky for a change, or the girl next door or the kids playing. To overcome a breakup Indian men have made it to the balcony often. It’s an ancient art of getting over the girl.
8. Explore cafes and restaurants
If possible even stay away from liquor, cigarettes and other substances; it makes many nostalgic hence reiterates the pain of the bygones.
9. Meditate around nature
You will find a lot of Indian men with a broken heart trying to re-establish connections with nature. So if they are cooing with the cuckoo at the beginning of spring don’t think it’s a man acting funny.
He is just reconnecting with mom nature.
10. Volunteer at a community centre
Or support a charity. That’s a great way to get over a breakup. Men like it more if they get busy. That leaves them with no time to think. And sulk as well.
11. Do a new thing
Nothing like taking up a new thing. Learn how to cook, drive, ride or direct an impromptu play with a friend. Do something that you always intended to do but never got the time in between career and dating. Try it now and get more confident.
12. Outdoor party
Brush off that breakup and plan a barbeque with friends. It’s a great way to party in the outdoors. You can plan a potluck or set up an outdoor screen for some movies.
13. Just sit around in the open
Read newspapers in an open area; possibly at the Andheri Station or nearby park. See life pass by and be happy that you are alive and kicking.
14. Stop watching TV
Unsubscribe from online streaming services rather be with friends. Sitting with a tub of popcorn and crying while watching a romantic film and missing your ex like crazy is not the ideal thing. Reduce screen time and be with real people.
15. Ask for help
See a psychologist if you have no friends. Visit your school or college and meet teachers to offer help.
These are just to name a few…you could always gather courage by simply feeling grateful for being alive…because hope is a beautiful thing. Few bad relations don’t mean you are not ‘cool enough’, it simply means, you are capable of being with someone else, who deserves the best of you, with someone who sailed through these bumpy bittersweet curves of relationships.
Don’t cry if it’s over.
Smile and be thankful that it happened. Forgive and forget. These lessons only make you stronger, take courage from it. Hope that tomorrow’s waiting to surprise you with worthy promises.
Pushpendra Pandya likes his life’s adventures like a rocking boat’s muse – the oomph of a seductress beauty, madness of sea waves and the wrath of high tide. From a lazy suitcase salesman to a copywriter, bartender to a librarian and teacher, still juggling... happily and why not! Sports, sex and writing keep him ticking. He’s just a dreamer with a multiple waywardness disorder.