Almost everyone has been ghosted at some point and may have even ghosted their partners at least once in their lives. Be it in online dating, in friendship, with extended family, or with ex-co-workers, ghosting is never appropriate. But responding with nothing while ending things has become more and more prevalent these days. However, it feels hurtful to be on the receiving end of ghosting, and you might find yourself wishing you knew how to make a guy regret ghosting you.
Ghosting behavior is when one person decides that cutting off communication without an explanation or closure is their only option to end things or get out of uneasy situations. Being ghosted can leave you emotionally damaged, and you might end up seeking revenge.
For a ghoster, the act of ghosting may be a means of avoiding conflict or uncomfortable conversations, but avoiding these issues like this can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, or remorse for them. Nonetheless, a study by Theresa E. DiDonato, Ph.D., a social psychologist and a professor of psychology, says that many people consider ghosting as a reasonable way of leaving short-term relationships. So, have you been ghosted by your boyfriend recently? Or are you scared that he might? Are you wondering what to do when he ghosts you? In this article, we’ve not just explained ghosting in detail but also jotted down some major pointers that explain what to do when someone ghosts you. So, let’s dive in…
Why Did He Ghost Me?
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Before finding out what to do when a guy ghosts you, let’s look at some major factors that may be responsible for such ghosting. There are many reasons why someone might ghost another person. Here are some common reasons a girl or a guy ghosts:
- They feel overwhelmed or uncertain about the relationship
- There’s a lack of emotional maturity or self-awareness
- They’re unsure of how to communicate effectively and are losing interest
- When men ghost women, or even the other way around it is because the person may have a fear of commitment and they might not know how to express that in a way that is honest but not hurtful
Additionally, here’s what was found through a study done on a group of college students by Prof. Royette Dubar:
- Some people may ghost out of fear of confrontation or because of poor communication skills
- People may ghost someone over the fear of things escalating between them, such as developing feelings for the other person
- In some other cases, female participants reported safety as a reason for ghosting guys who came off as too ‘shady’ or too ‘toxic’, or who seemed to have the wrong intention
Related Reading: 10 Signs That He Is Not Really Trustworthy
Dr Gili Freedman (assistant professor of Psychology) mentions in her research paper that many young people ghost out of fear of uncertainty of the future. They are afraid of confronting in the long run. So, it’s important to remember that every person is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to why people ghost.
The reasons for ghosting are different for different people and can be fueled by their personal experiences and understanding of how dating or relationships should progress. Nonetheless, all the reasoning in the world doesn’t make it easy to deal with the pain that comes with the “he ghosted me” realization. We’re here to help you deal with as effectively as possible.
How To Make A Guy Regret Ghosting You – 21 Ways
Being the bigger person, letting go, and getting over it, are all the same tired cliches you hear when you ask someone how to approach getting ghosted in modern dating. Well, we understand the hurt of being ignored and the negative feelings that come with it. And at this point you want to show the guy that two can play the game. So, are you seeking revenge for someone’s ghosting behavior? Check out these 21 ways how to make a guy regret ghosting you:
1. Fake it till you make it
Realizing you have been ghosted has got to be one of the most bitter wake-up calls for someone to experience. And you’re left wondering what to do when someone ghosts you. On some level, you may even have a seething desire to make a guy regret ghosting you. So, let’s set up the first step toward that:
- When a guy ghosts, it is normal to feel a cocktail of emotions, such as confusion, anger, sadness, and loneliness, but stop right there – you need to fake nonchalance and preserve your emotional well-being
- To get even with the ghoster, remember that we can’t ever know how ghosters feel unless they explicitly say it themselves. All we can do is manage our reactions
- Start with pretending to be unbothered instead of showing that you feel bad. Maintain your self-esteem
Related Reading: 9 Things Ghosting Says About You More Than The Person You Ghosted
2. Out of sight, out of mind
If you’re wondering what to do when he ghosts you, well, the best solution to make him regret is to avoid him. So, when a guy ghosts you or is actively trying to dodge your texts and calls, he doesn’t deserve to be pursued any longer. If someone is looking at your efforts and still doesn’t want to see you, it’s better to let him be out of sight and out of mind.
Go find other new people to have a great time with. Becoming unavailable to the ghoster will send them a message that you do not care about them, which will hit their ego and make them want you back, in turn making them regret ghosting you.
3. Vent it out, spill the tea
Instead of thinking about how to make a guy regret ghosting you, take some time off and lighten your mind. Call or meet your friends. We assure you that is part of self-love and a way to recover your self-esteem. Here’s how you can do that:
- Sometimes, the best thing to do is to call your BFF and vent your heart out to them
- Get on a conference call, include every single person in your close circle you can think of who loves drama, and Spill. The. Tea! This is the perfect time to connect with your buddies
- Now what would be even better is if your friends spread the said ‘tea’, and the whole universe finds out what a big ghoster the guy is
- The more you talk about it, the more you realize it happens to the best of us and it is not your fault
4. Say goodbye to someone who ghosted you by ignoring them
Just as you start to get going, they pop up in your inbox with a “Hi” or “How are you?” This is called breadcrumbing because they give you tidbits to keep you going. One way to rattle your ghoster is to avoid them completely. Beware of the 2 a.m. texts. Because come morning, you’re getting left on seen again. So, don’t reply and leave him wanting for more instead. Ignore him, and he will realize he’s losing his effect on you. Eventually, he will try to get your attention back.
Related Reading: What He Thinks When You Ignore Him – 11 Surprising Revelations
5. Keep your heart open to potential new connections
The best thing to do to get over a guy who ghosted you is to give another guy a chance, and then make sure the guy who ghosted you sees that you are with another guy. This will make him agitated and jealous. He will wonder how you could move on so quickly, and he’ll probably want you back.
6. To make a guy regret ghosting you, confront him
When a guy ghosts you, wallowing in self-pity and staining your pillow as you cry over the “he ghosted me” realization, be upfront about wanting a confrontation and talk to him about his wrong intention. Ghosters hate that, and it is one of the major reasons guys ghost in the first place, too. Instead of blocking him if and when he makes a comeback, ask him firmly to clarify his ghosting act. This will slowly start to make him realize that his actions have consequences.
He will try to justify his actions, and in doing so, he will unconsciously be seeking your approval. He won’t even realize that he is regretting ghosting you. But if he can’t justify his actions by the truth, he is not worth letting back in your circle.
7. Weigh actions against words and be less forgiving
Wondering what to do when he ghosts you? Well, don’t let him off the hook for this actions easily. Suppose the ghoster comes back with a sugar-coated apology and an action plan to get you back. You need to give him a taste of his own medicine. So, your next move needs to be this — do not forgive him. This is one of the pieces of advice we can offer on how to make a guy regret ghosting you.
Words mean nothing if they are not followed up by actions that match. It’s easy to get back into a toxic pattern of him disappearing and reappearing whenever it’s convenient for him. His apologies mean nothing if he doesn’t work on his behavior. Put your self-respect first and work on your own self-confidence instead of letting him back in your life.
Related Reading: 20 Simple Ways To Make A Guy Miss You
8. It’s time to let your anger shine
Getting new clothes is not the only way to get back your self-worth. You need to express yourself. It is natural to feel bad about treating someone the way they treated you, especially if you’re not an inconsiderate person. Here’s what to do when a guy ghosts you:
- You can use all your pent-up anger for being ghosted and channelize it to do better. Direct some of the anger you might have on other things, like patriarchy and the government, and just shower it all on him if he comes back with an apology
- You can tell him to go *unprintable* himself and ignore him for a while. He’ll want to please you, and he might even be back on his knees and stop ghosting completely
9. Withdraw your care, leave him out in the cold
This is the best way to respond when guy who ghosted you tries to return. So, when he comes back, do not give in. Perhaps, apart from ghosting, his favorite hobby is lying. He will come back and make you feel like he cares for you, but you need to stay strong. When he sees that you don’t believe his lies, that you don’t sympathize with his excuses, that you are not expressing the same care as you used to, he’ll be taken aback and it’ll make him regret ghosting you.
10. Never make first contact (again)
This one is for those who have been ghosted by the same person over and over. In a moment of weakness, the best of us have thought our ghoster might have forgotten to respond. Or that he might have been too busy, or too distracted, or this or that. And we may have sent a lonely “Hey, just checking in to see if everything is all right” text only for it to be left on seen. AGAIN.
There’s no shame or judgment in admitting to having done so. But moving forward, you must remember never to try and re-establish a connection with a serial ghoster no matter what. If you’ve been wondering what to do when someone ghosts you, we recommend giving him the silent treatment. This way, he can see that you do not care about him or his actions anymore.
Related Reading: 15 Reasons Your Man Never Texts You First But Always Replies To You
11. Catch him off guard to make him regret ghosting you
Wanna know the best revenge and the perfect answer for how to make a guy regret ghosting you? Make it look like you didn’t even notice. Here’s how:
- Act surprised if he ever texts you again. Make it seem like his whole existence had slipped from your mind and you just recalled him at that moment. Show him how occupied you were with your new hobbies
- When he tries to talk to you, let him know that you have been seeing other people, and are in general just busy with your life. You enjoy dating and the options that come with it and are not waiting around for him to get back to you
In a similar vein, a Quora user says, “Pretend not to notice. If the person ignores you, give him a big hug and say, it’s so nice to see youuuuu! Say ‘I’m sorry I have not kept in touch. I’ve been so busy.’ That would catch anyone off guard, if you ask me.”
12. Tell him that this was pretty predictable
Start blaming him for who he is. One Quora user wrote, “Everyone likes to think of themselves as being a unique individual. It is also irksome to feel as if one is predictable. Being predictable (i.e., generalizing one’s behavioral pattern) implies that one is ‘determined’ in the sense that what one does is simply a result of a series of causal factors – it leaves no room for spontaneity or individuality in how one behaves.”
That is why when you generalize someone’s behavior, it drives them nuts. Tell him calmly, as if you’re glad to be proven right, that you knew he was someone who would do something like this. Compare him to a generalization he finds annoying. He probably fits it too. Corner him in that comparison trap.
13. Dress amazingly and show off
When a guy ghosts, bring out your finest attire. Flood your Instagram with some fabulous photos of you. While you’re at it, ask your friends to post good photos of you as well. He’ll see what he’s missing out on and instantly regret his decision of ghosting you. Men hate seeing women living their best life without them.
Related Reading: 10 Outfit Ideas For Women To Wear On First Date
14. Get in touch with your mutuals
Instead of cursing yourself and saying, “He ghosted me,” you can try calling up and hanging out with mutual friends. Being cheerfully involved with people whom he keeps in touch with regularly is a great way to get back at a guy who ghosted you. They are bound to take your topic up with him sometime, and he will be stuck thinking of you for a while, catching him off guard. They might even tell him about how great you looked at your recent social events, the things you’re up to, or about the new person you’re hanging out with.
15. Join the gym and make him regret ghosting you
The cliche is true: When you look good, you feel good. Exercising doesn’t only make your brain release endorphins, but it’s also a great way to tone your muscles. Revenge body is a thing after all, isn’t it? Go, start working out and revel in some external validation.
16. Thank the ghoster for helping you raise your standards
It is not to say that you have low standards, but giving guys who ghost a second chance does not look good on your dating résumé. When someone leaves, let them be gone for good and move on to people who prove their willingness to reciprocate your time and efforts.
Don’t let this experience give you low self-esteem. Instead, send him a text or email of gratitude, saying: “Hi, thank you for leaving me when you did. I don’t think I could have gotten out of that unfulfilling relationship on my own. If you hadn’t left, I would have never found better standards. Take care.”
17. Don’t try too hard
The biggest mistake you can make when trying to get over a guy who ghosted you is trying way too hard to get his attention, like posting random sappy quotes or songs that he’ll know are directed toward him. It will make him want to distance himself more. Living your life naturally would be the best revenge. Post enough on social media, but don’t obsess over it.
18. ‘Forget’ him and focus on your personal growth
Here’s our idea on how to make a guy regret ghosting you. Ghosters like to know you’re still thinking of them, so, show them that you’ve moved on and are living your best life. Bump into him ‘accidentally’ in public, make sure he notices you, and then pretend to forget about him. Just keep laughing with your friends and walk on. This is sure to make him feel hurt.
If he comes over to say “hi,” all you have to do is ask, “Do I know you?” This will shock him.
19. Exude confidence around him
This one is for those who have to deal with their ghoster regularly and face the drama. Lachlan Brown, a renowned author, said in an article, “Ghosters feed their ego by bruising someone else’s.” So instead of letting him into your head, diminishing your worth, show him how unaffected you are.
Maneuver every situation that involves him with confidence. He is very likely to regret ghosting you, because who doesn’t love a confident woman? Here’s what you can do:
- If he’s in the same class as you: Go to the class prepared and confidently answer the teacher’s questions. If you make eye contact with him accidentally, just glaze over him and go about your day. He is sure to feel remorse
- If you work in the same office/building: Take a friend with you and deliberately run into him. Ask your friend to boast about you loudly, while you soak in the pride and the fumes of your ghoster’s regret
- If he’s your neighbor: Bring friends (other guys specifically) over and let him get jealous. Oh, and always leave your home dressed your best, so he knows your mental health hasn’t taken a hit. This will also build your own self-confidence
20. Speak to a professional
While this article explores the top ways on how to make a guy regret ghosting you, it may be helpful to talk about your situation with a relationship coach or a therapist. Someone else’s actions can have a profound effect on us. You can browse through Bonobology’s team of experienced and professional experts and select the one you think can help you the most, if you feel hurt about what you thought was your genuine connection.
21. When all else fails – block, block, block!
This is the ultimate solution we can suggest to someone who wonders what to do when a guy ghosts you. Well, set goals to distance yourself from this person. Whether you’ve tried everything else time and time again or if you’re just getting into the first heartbreak of getting ghosted, blocking on social media will save you a lot of time, effort, and energy. And it will make you feel better too, not just after being ghosted, but also in the future, if he ever tries to reach back. Follow the no-contact rule, and you will notice immense personal growth in yourself. When he sees himself blocked out of every way to access you, he will regret ghosting you.
One Quora user pretty much agrees. Her answer to a question about getting the best revenge on your ghoster was, “Ghost them like they ghosted you, block, ignore etc, etc. … but don’t stop. Let the pain fuel you. Don’t just cut them out of your physical life, cut them out of your emotional presence.”
- Ghosting is a hurtful way that some people use to leave situations and relationships, because they want to avoid conflict and don’t have the bandwidth to communicate their feelings
- There is no one answer as to why a person might end up ghosting someone or end up getting ghosted
- Being ghosted can make you feel confused, sad, and in self-doubt
- However, there are certain ways through which you can make him regret ghosting you, like blocking him, ignoring him, showing yourself off and what he is missing out on, etc
- It is important to remember to not let this be your only aim. Never lose your confidence, and keep working on making yourself better
At the end of the day, you need to remember that people have their reasons for what they do, and it’s ultimately up to them to take responsibility for their actions and their emotions. While it’s important to take care of yourself, it’s not possible to control or change someone else’s behavior or force them to have personal growth. You can’t teach someone a lesson and make them stop ghosting other people.
Remind yourself that a guy ghosting you does not define who you are as a person and it is not a reflection of your worth. Give yourself time to process your feelings and to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Spend time with those who love you. Engaging in self-care activities, such as exercise, spending time with friends and family, or pursuing a new hobby, can help you cope with the feelings of being ghosted. Your self-worth needs it. So, we hope we’ve given you some actionable points on what to do when someone ghosts you. Now, go girl, live your best life!
Karma is a personal belief. Some people might be sure that ghosters will face negative consequences for their actions in the future. Some people would also say that it is not necessary that ghosters will face such negative consequences. It’s important to focus on your own healing and well-being, rather than focusing on getting revenge or waiting for someone else to experience consequences for their actions. You cannot make someone stop ghosting you.
The effects of ghosting can be hurtful and long-lasting, but it is ultimately up to the person who was ghosted to work through their feelings and move on. The feeling of being ghosted can be overwhelming, but with time, its impact will reduce and you’ll learn to cope with it.
The act of ghosting someone can make you feel very hurt. One Quora user, talks about feeling guilty about ghosting someone with “The Fade is such a terrible feeling. Nobody likes to let someone down.” He explains that he liked a woman but gradually lost all interest and ended up ghosting her.