Men, right? Can’t live with them. Can’t live without them. This sentiment rings truest when the man in your life does something to annoy, upset, or hurt you. You may want to ignore him or distance yourself from him (either temporarily or for good, depending on the severity of the situation) to get your bearings. If you are in a similar situation, you may also find yourself wondering what he thinks when you ignore him. When you ignore a guy, how does he feel? We’ll get to that, but first, why are you ignoring him?
Are you doing this because he upset you and you are showing your hurt and disapproval by ignoring him? Or because you want his attention? Or are you ignoring him in the hope that the silent treatment will get him to change his behavior? Whatever your reason is, this guide on ignoring a man will answer all your questions.
How Long Should You Ignore A Guy?
According to research, being ignored hurts more than being argued with. The study on human psychology points out that during ‘hot’ forms of interpersonal conflict (like arguing), the matter gets resolved because everything is expressed in words. But, when a person is given silent treatment and no reasonable explanation, they have to engage in self-reflection to figure out what they have done wrong to upset the person ignoring them.
Yes, we know it’s pure torture! But sometimes, the best way to dissuade behavior is to not engage with it. Sometimes, a person needs to feel insecure and experience a little FOMO to realize where they were going wrong. When he won’t feel special to you for a couple of days, the power struggle in your relationship will shift in your favor. However, keep a few subtle things in mind:
- When you ignore a guy who takes you for granted, have a timeline in mind, and stick to it, no matter what
- You can ignore him for as long as it takes/as long as you need to
- You’ll come off as desperate/needy if you break the ‘no contact’ and go chasing after him
- A typical guy would think you crave him more than he craves you if you change your decision midway
- Be willing to weather the storm on whatever the outcome is. It could be a wake-up call for him to change or he may realize that he is better off without you
- If he doesn’t apologize or ends up replacing you, cut him loose; he is not worth your time
What He Thinks When You Ignore Him – 11 Surprising Revelations
Everyone has a unique temperament that stems from their personality, environment, and their specific way of processing and accepting an emotion. So, every person reacts differently when they are being ignored. Do you think ignoring him will make him want you more? I used to think the same when a good friend gave me this bite-sized dating advice and said, “Ignore a guy and he’ll come running.”
No, he did not want my attention when I ignored him. He didn’t come running. In fact, he ran in the opposite direction. I realized that kind of thing only happens in cases where the guy likes a good chase. It only works out when you are ignoring someone you are attracted to and they reciprocate your feelings. Scroll below and read 11 more surprising revelations on ignoring a guy who takes you for granted:
Related Reading: Dating Etiquette – 20 Things You Should Never Ignore On A First Date
1. You’re busy is what he thinks when you ignore him
If you’re wondering what he thinks when you ignore him, this is most likely his first thought. He may think maybe you’re stuck at work or are in the middle of a family emergency. This is especially true if he knows he is dating an independent woman and knows about your job and how hardworking you are. He may just assume you are busy and won’t harbor any resentment toward you for ignoring him. He will think you will get back to him when you are free.
If he thinks you are busy, he will definitely reach out to you more than once. If you keep ignoring his messages and calls, then he will get the idea that you are deliberately not responding to his texts. If you are thinking, “Will he leave me alone if I ignore him?”, know that if he’s interested in you, it’ll take more than just you giving him the cold shoulder. Be direct if you don’t wish to see him again. Tell him you don’t want to have any kind of relationship with him.
2. He’ll question himself
As soon as he realizes you are ignoring him, he might start questioning himself. “What if I hurt her?” “Could I have been a better boyfriend?” One of the most common things he thinks when you ignore him is that he should have shown you a little more love and affection.
He may start chasing you more. He will think it’s his fault you are ignoring him and will think you are worth the chase. A cold shoulder from you may even pique his interest in you. If this has been your game all along, then sure it can work. But is it healthy? Absolutely not. Direct communication and expression of your needs would be the right approach here. Don’t create relationship doubts or make him doubt himself. That’s unfair.
3. He thinks you’re rude
That could be his next thought. He may think you are rude for not answering his calls. He will feel bad for coming across as needy and for trying to get your attention. If you keep ignoring him without giving him a proper reason, you may end up pushing him away. Let him know why you are ignoring him if you don’t want to come out as the bad person in the scenario. If you’re asking yourself, “When you ignore a guy, how does he feel?”, then allow me to answer. He might feel bad, confused, and insecure.
Does it hurt a man when you ignore him? Yes. A thousand thoughts will rush into his head when you keep ignoring him. He’ll think you are not into him or wonder what he did to offend you. He won’t just think you are rude. He might also think you are high-maintenance. If you’re trying this as one of the ways to get a man to chase you, think twice before you play fast and loose with his feelings.
4. What he thinks when you ignore him – You just want attention
If you are ignoring him in order to get his attention, he might see right through your shenanigans. When you ignore a guy, how does he feel? He may think you just want attention and you are playing hard to get. It could be one of the reasons he loses interest in you, especially if you drag it out for too long. How is that for some irony? That’s something to think about. You don’t want that if you are actually trying to get closer to him.
Related Reading: When Is The Honeymoon Phase Over? 15 Signs To Watch Out For
5. He thinks you are losing interest in him
This is one of the answers to what he thinks when you ignore him. He might think you are losing interest in him. This will worry him if he genuinely likes you and wants to keep you in his life. If you are still asking, “Will he leave me alone if I ignore him?”, in this circumstance, that may not be the case. Besides, is it really the best way to snap ties with him? No. Rethink your decision on this one.
Before you take this approach to cut a guy out of your life, take a moment to ponder over this: How much does it hurt a man when you ignore him? Well, if his feelings for you are genuine, the answer can be, a lot. Is it best to just ignore him and make him think you are no more interested in him? No. If you no longer want to be with him for whatever reason, you must break up with a guy nicely instead of ignoring him.
6. He thinks you are playing mind games
Most men don’t like to play games. It’s as simple as that. According to them, you can either be interested in them or not. If you give him the impression that you are into him and then start ignoring him, he will think you are playing games. This is what he thinks when you ignore him. And he will eventually get frustrated with this emotional immaturity and leave you.
No one wants to get played. That’s one of the reasons why people tend to have their guard up and do their best to hide their vulnerabilities. Ignoring him just because you want to play mind games will not only damage his mental health but will also put a dent in your emotional well-being when he decides to walk out of the relationship. No one wins here.
7. He thinks it’s over
When you ignore a guy, how does he feel? He may feel hurt and heartbroken if you continue with this act for far too long because it will send across a message that it’s between you two. He will think you are done with him and would want nothing to do with you. If this is what you wanted from the beginning, then your answer to “Will he leave me if I ignore him?” is yes. He will leave you if you ignore him to the point that makes him question the existence of your relationship.
It is cruel that you want to avoid a conversation and end the relationship by just ignoring him. If you are ignoring him playfully, be cautious. By the time you go back to him, he may already be thinking about what to say to end a relationship. Then, you will be the one doing the chasing.
8. He thinks you like it without him
If you are wondering about the consequences of ignoring his texts on purpose, then be mindful of this one. He may begin to think you are enjoying life without him. That you like it when he is not around. He might start thinking his absence doesn’t affect your life. He might feel insecure, experience FOMO, and think you are having fun without him.
Minds wander a lot. Overthinking might lead him to conclude you aren’t contacting him because you are happy without him. If pushing him away is not your intention, you need to ask yourself, is it best to just ignore him until he realizes your value? What if he gets the wrong idea and bows out of your life? Is that a chance you’re willing to take?
Related Reading: 5 Signs The No-Contact Rule Is Working
9. Two can play this game
There you are sitting in your room wondering if it’s true that you ignore a guy and he’ll come running. But you couldn’t be more wrong. Self-respecting men don’t appreciate being disregarded like that. Imagine he starts ignoring you for someone else. How would you feel? If you continuously ignore him despite him reaching out to you more than once, he may give you a taste of your medicine.
That’s one of the things I learned recently. If he is nice to you, loves you, and hasn’t done anything to hurt you, then ignoring him just to test the waters or just to get a reaction out of him is not a good idea. You might not be ready for what’s coming.
10. You are cheating on him
Do guys notice when you ignore them? Yes, they do. And it can send him into an overthinking spiral where the most logical explanation for your actions seems to be that you are having a discreet affair. He will be crushed if he starts thinking you are cheating on him. If you really are cheating on him, that’s a different story altogether, and it’s an insensitive choice. But if you are not cheating on him, then it might get difficult for you to explain why you were ignoring him and convince him of your faithfulness.
11. You want to end the relationship
If this is what you wanted from the beginning, then there you have it. A lack of attention from you might lead him to break up with you. He will understand that you want to end the relationship. He will eventually get tired of chasing you and come to terms with the fact that he is no longer wanted in your life. And no, it’s not a breakup excuse, you have given him a valid reason to walk away.
If you started out with only one question in mind – “Will he leave me alone if I ignore him?” – then consider your mission accomplished. If you keep ignoring him to a point that he thinks you want to end the relationship, he will definitely leave you alone. However, this kind of ghosting is the worst kind of breakup one can experience. Imagine you don’t even get a reason for why someone is breaking up with you. Imagine ending a relationship without proper goodbyes.
- When you ignore a guy, he might initially assume that you’re busy
- He might then overthink where he was at fault/why you’re losing interest in him
- He may even blame you for being rude/playing hard to get
- It might make him feel that the relationship is over or that you’re cheating on him
- You might poke his ego and he will ignore you back
Before you think about ignoring a guy, stop for a minute and think about the times someone has ignored you and how it made you feel. Ignoring a person with whom you share a strong relationship might not lead to any problems because mutual love, trust, and stability have been established. You both will find your way back to one another. But if you are ignoring him at the onset of your relationship and think playing games will make him crazy for you or make things exciting, things might take a turn for the worse and you will eventually end up hurting yourself.
This article has been updated in October, 2022
Yes, it hurts him and triggers his hero instinct. How do players feel when you ignore them? They get a taste of their own medicine. They get jealous and start wondering if you have other options/replacements. If they are used to your constant attention, just a few minutes without it can feel like torture to them.
“He wants my attention when I ignore him”. A lot of people would agree with this. When you don’t put his needs first, he gets hooked and starts chasing you fiercely. After all, it feels intimidating to be surrounded by an independent woman, who focuses on herself.
Yes, the mystery can drive him crazy! How do players feel when you ignore them? Realizing that he won’t feel special to you anymore can make him go bonkers. When you’re having fun without him, it ends up increasing your value in his life.