I Am Dating A Married Woman, Is It A Wrong Thing To Do?

My Questions and Answers | | Expert Author , Mental Health & Relationship Counselor
Updated On: December 28, 2023
Dating A Married Woman

I am dating someone married and I want advice on my current relationship. I am dating a married woman, and we have sex as well. Is this wrong? 

I Am Dating A Married Woman, Is It A Wrong Thing To Do?

I am dating someone married and I have been feeling really guilty about it. She is my friend’s wife. We met at a party and then we stayed in touch. I didn’t have a clue that I would end up dating her, I would actually end up dating someone married to my friend. But we really came emotionally close through our WhatsApp interactions. 

Related reading: I wish I knew why my wife left me for another married man

Dangers of dating a married woman

I realised the dangers of dating a married woman, especially someone who is my friend’s wife. She was at my place and my friend turned up. It was really a very difficult situation and I hated how she had to hide in the bathroom. 

I felt very guilty and ashamed about the whole thing. But I am madly in love with her but she prefers to keep it to sex only. I am hating this hide-and-seek thing but she doesn’t want to hurt my friend, who is a good man, and walk out of the marriage. I do not want them to break up either. But how long will I continue like this? What do you do when you fall in love with a married woman?

We have physical intimacy

We are physically intimate and I know for a fact that although I am dating a married woman but my friend doesn’t have any physical relationship with her. He has erectile issues and he had told me that long back. But I don’t know if my relationship with a married woman would have a direction and I don’t know if I am doing the right thing. 

Please help. 

Dear Worried Man,

Yes, sleeping with people who might be cheating on their life partners is very problematic for multiple reasons. I am of the opinion that the ethical responsibility of breaking an agreement (assuming that theirs is not a consensually non-monogamous marriage) with her husband is not yours but hers alone.

stories on infidelity

The situation can become problematic

I want to bring to your attention the other problematic aspects of it. When people cheat on someone, it is usually a sign that they haven’t addressed things that they need to, in their partner.

You may not find it ideal to be the tool someone uses to vent out the frustration that exists in their relationship.

There is also an emotional and social cost involved with cheating spouses. What if tomorrow, you find out for yourself that there is more than just sex between you guys; that would be far from simple, wouldn’t it be?

Dating a married woman is emotionally draining

Even if you think it is not her fault and she has no other choice, you ought to think about yourself emotionally. Since you haven’t mentioned, I am not sure how old you are. I do want to tell you that complicated relationships are very demanding, much more so than “regular” ones, on one’s time and resources, both mental and financial.

Dating a married woman is emotionally draining
Dating a married woman is emotionally draining

Not to forget, depending on where you live in the country (or the world), legal repercussions of being involved as an active male partner in the act of infidelity may also be very undesirable to say the least, if it comes to that. So you may ask what to do when you fall in love with a married woman?

How to stop dating a married woman

Painting a doomsday scenario is only in the service of a point that you are an adult and you should make your own decision in the light of the information that you have. But if you ask me you should try to pull out of the relationship.

Dating a married woman is never a good idea
Dating a married woman is never a good idea

You are investing your time and emotion in something that has no future. There are a few more things you should keep in mind about the dangers of dating a married woman. She would never make you her priority her kids and her family will always be her priority although you may be a shoulder to cry on.

She could be in a sexual relationship because her husband is unable to fulfil her desires but she would not be willing to be attached to you forever. So you will always feel confused and emotionally drained.

Last but not always you could be one of the many of her sexual partners. So it is up to you to decide what you want to do. But dating a married woman is never a good idea.

Hope this helps

Deepak Kashyap

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