I am a 29-year-old girl working in the government sector. I have been in a relationship for the past 3.6 years. We both were head-over-heels in love with each other. Now he is marrying someone else and I don’t know how to move on.
My boyfriend is marrying someone else and I am devastated
He is Jain and I am a Brahmin. He told me in the beginning that his parents wouldn’t agree to our marriage because they would want a girl from their own community; but I thought all parents say things like this and we will convince them when the time comes. I rejected all marriage proposals because I couldn’t marry someone else. For me religion is secondary. No one in both families is/was aware about our relationship. I wanted him to first talk to his parents but he had his own excuses. When your parents disapprove your love you find a way out. Don’t you?
But he didn’t. Now he is getting married to a girl of his parent’s choice next month. I am devastated. I know I should move on, because he has not even tried to speak to his parents. Maybe someday I will move on. But this time I am broken. I am still praying that he will come back. I really don’t know how to let go of this past relationship.
Counsellor Prachi Vaish says:
You really didn’t deserve what happened to you. After investing everything [restrict] you had into your relationship, I can understand that now you probably feel lost and empty…
How to let go of a past relationship
Looking at what you have written, I don’t see a question that you have asked me. Also, I don’t want to give you cliched advice of getting over him or try to distract yourself etc. Maybe you just needed to share your pain and I’m here to listen. Reaching out for help is a good sign.
You are trying to move on
It shows that you are already trying to get on the path of self healing. You are learning to let go of past hurts. Meanwhile, if you need someone to hold on to, while you heal yourself do get in touch with the Bonobology team here and they’ll connect you to me for private sessions.
Please take care,