A relationship can flourish even if there are no strings attached. Just like the Ashton Kutcher movie called No Strings Attached, sex can be enjoyable with a friendly partnership and without the hassles of love. It may work for you, it may not. But you can only know that, if you try it out.
Casual relationships and open relationships are now more often a norm than an anomaly. They let you explore a wide range of options before you really hit the gold mine and settle with someone. Being in a relationship with no strings attached has its pros and cons. But you have to navigate this very carefully.
How To Go About ‘No Strings Attached’
What does no strings attached mean? Gen Y nowadays is all about sex buddies and the ‘no-strings attached’ kind of relationships. These are the kind of casual relationships where love takes a backseat and sex is at the forefront. It’s about 3 am booty calls followed by absolutely no obligation to get breakfast together the next morning.
Over the years we have seen a paradigm shift from the “it’s complicated” and “in a relationship” status tag to the “it’s quite simple and straightforward,” “cool and casual” to “one to few nightstands”.
Every person can have different needs and expectations out of relationships at different times in their lives, and that’s perfectly fine. So how does a woman decipher whether this charming guy who’s hitting on her at the bar is only fooling around or is really into her?
Let’s see how you can deal with some of the issues you may face, when you are happily single and in the ready-to-mingle phase, even while keeping your emotions in check.
The FIFA fever
Right before Russia hosted the FIFA world cup 2018, they warned Russian women not to be intimate with the foreigners. This precautionary warning was given because when Russia hosted the Olympic Games in 1980, several Russian women were pregnant with the tourists who eventually left. As a consequence, there was a rise in broken marriages and single mothers.
Although, with the rising awareness about contraception these days, the risk of the same happening seems less plausible. But the precautions you should take when you are out and about are those pertaining to your emotions.
Being misled by a man is not unheard of. We are no longer damsels in distress who fall for false promises of a future, just so he can get into our pants. We know better than that now, don’t we ladies?
If you aren’t interested in being a booty call, then make sure that you’re not
For some women, physical intimacy can be equivalent to emotional intimacy, and this is especially the case when your hopes have been inflated by a beguiling man. To understand what position you are in is key. But what is even more important is knowing exactly the position you want to be in.
Defining your terms start with introspecting and laying them out to yourself. If the hot guy at the bar keeps hitting on you and wants to take you home, the call is still in your hands. If the whole booty call situation is not your style, walk out of there.
Related Reading: Why chasing after marriage is not a good idea
Clarity is key
The first step to taking control of your sex/love life is to be clear. When you meet someone who catches your eye, you should know exactly what you’re looking for. Do you just want to be in bed with him, or are you looking for more than that?
Love is confusing that way and it may take a while to truly understand how to navigate it. You may be falling in love too fast or are just horny and in need of some fun. Either way works! Just know which one it is and be honest with your partner about the same.
Break the ice with a pinch of honesty
The second step would be to express what you want to the man. As the two of you break the ice by discussing movies, music, exes, etc., you should never forget to mention what your priorities are at the moment, and what you will be looking for in a potential union. One of the biggest relationship tips is to be clear about your terms in the very beginning.
Don’t confuse him or lead him on by giving him ideas of a completely different kind of relationship. If you want no strings attached, that is more than fine.
If he’s looking for the same, lucky you! But if not, then that’s alright too. At least you aren’t caught off guard. Congratulations, you may have dodged potential heartbreak.
Related Reading: Fixing a Toxic Relationship – 21 Ways To Heal TOGETHER
Are there really no strings attached?
There is another scenario you should brace yourself for. Casual sex is great, yes but you have to be sure that it is totally casual. The one where everything starts as a fling, but as you’ve hung out for a while, you realize that you like him.
While this is entirely possible, you have to also be careful for it because it makes things a little bit complicated.
It may change your friendship, change how you look at each other and even change the way you have sex. Be sure of what your feelings are morphing into before making some major grand gestures.
However, if you find yourself in this position, you have to stay cool. Hang on to these feelings of yours. Whenever you meet him, analyze his behavior. Is it still all about sex for him?
Do you have good conversations? Does he seem interested in knowing about you? What does your hanging out together mean – is it Netflix and chill, or going to restaurants, being seen in public together? Or is this just a rebound relationship? Be on the lookout for these things. You yourself will know if it’s going in the direction you want it to or not.
One way or another
Once again, it’s time to be honest. Be prepared that after you express how you feel, it can go in two different directions. Perhaps the no strings attached phase is over for you two. The man likes you back and is ready to take the relationship to a more serious level. That’s the best case scenario.
If he doesn’t share the same feelings as you, or says, “I like you babe, but I don’t want anything serious”, then the best thing you can do for yourself is not see him for a while.
You need to get over him now because if you continue having sex with him, it will not to justice to your feelings. You now just need to get over that someone you have started to love and move on with your life.
Don’t invest in a lost cause
If you do continue seeing him, your attachment will increase, you may also have false expectations of a future. Don’t do this to yourself. Going no strings attached does not have to work for everyone. But clinging onto the ropes of false hope never did anybody any good.
What you should do is maybe meet some more men, spend your time in creative activities and get rid of these unrequited feelings.
It may seem easier said than done. But, trust me, taking charge of your love life is essential. Sometimes “going with the flow” may leave you in an emotionally crippled state. Your love life is in your own hands more often than you think.
Being in an open relationship is not tough at all. All you have to do is talk it out with your partner and get them on board that you two are allowed to see other people while you also see each other. You can do this when the relationship is not that serious and you are looking for a chance to explore opportunities with new people.
A no strings attached relationship is one where love is not the basis for commitment. It means that you are free to be with whoever you want and can be in multiple casual relationships. No strings are going to bog you down to one person.
They certainly can. It depends on how you define the terms of it and where it takes you. Some people are often very happy about being in open relationships because it lets them unleash their true self and they feel like better people because of it.