No one signs up to be called a mistress, but that’s what a woman in love with a married man is called. She is blamed for breaking a marriage and called ‘the other woman’. No matter how much you warn yourself that it will end in tears or others stop you from being hurt, sometimes women succumb to falling for married men. Such a relationship in most cases goes nowhere and ends up hurting a lot of people who are involved directly and indirectly. When you are attracted to a married man, the best option is to turn and walk back.
When you are attracted to a married man, the best option is to turn and walk back.
The questions you need to ask yourself
- Ask yourself, would you want to steal and keep something that actually belongs to somebody else, with the fear that you would be caught and the commodity taken back? This is more than a commodity; you will have emotions and physical attachments and then if you have to give it back to whom it belongs to, it would be a permanent damage to you. Something that you are instilling in yourself with awareness.
- Scrutinise the reality. Most men will not leave their wives and children. They will contemplate and then decide to keep both the wife and girlfriend. Less than 10% of married men marry the woman they are having an affair with, and that comes with the marriage breaker tag.
Less than 10% of married men marry the woman they are having an affair with, and that comes with the marriage breaker tag.
You will always remain the second choice and not the preference in the man’s life.
- Come to the understanding that you can’t have the time and love of this man all the time, especially when you feel like it. It will only come when the man has no other plans with his wife and children. Ask yourself, are you ready to be a part-time lover, when you have very good chances of getting into a relationship that will be wholly yours with respect to time and love?
Related reading: She cheated on him and now fears he might have a counter affair
Think of the children
- Weigh the chances. If you had a father who was having an affair, wouldn’t you beg him to stay in the marriage? In all likelihood his children will do the same.
- Convince yourself that he cannot meet your needs and requirements with openness and honesty, as everything has to be clandestine. You won’t even be able to introduce him to your family and friends.
- Loyalty and trust is the base of a relationship, both of which you can’t expect in this relationship, as he is already being disloyal to his wife to see you and he has broken the trust in his relationship with his wife.
Do you really know him at all?
- You will never know this man or his personality completely, as you spend only a little time with him and during those small moments you will be on your best behaviour with each other.
- By letting yourself fall for a married man, you are going to sow jealousy and envy in your life permanently, as he can’t avoid going for dinner and vacations with his family and during such times you will be left out and end up feeling lonely.
- Try putting yourself in a reverse situation. Before you plunge into a relationship with a married man, put yourself in the place of his wife and ask yourself if this were to happen to your husband. Wouldn’t you feel cheated? Wouldn’t your world shatter? So you are building your life on the broken pieces of someone else’s life.
- Will you be able to forgive yourself for having split a marriage and destroyed their peace, though it was primarily the responsibility of the man?
Related reading: Why do single women fall for married men?
Do your answers have the solution?
When you ask yourself all the above questions, you will know that it is not at all worth all this trouble. If he does it with you, he will do it to you. So this would just not be the one and last affair for the man. Love yourself a lot and hug and ask yourself why you want to be satisfied with someone else’s leftovers, when you can have your own full package. You deserve much more in life.