Are you saving yourself for your ever-after or are your hormones telling you to ‘do’ it straightaway? Which one should you listen to – your romantic heart or the natural instincts of your body? How does a physical relationship before marriage affect you, your future husband and the equation you share?
8 ways a physical relationship before marriage affects your relationship
In India, sex is considered a sin before marriage. The natural act of sex that human beings were born for is a taboo. You yourself are in a fix when you feel like taking your emotional bond to a physical level, but your Indian conscience takes you on a guilt trip and you end up with a dry spell. The effects of having sex before marriage varies from person to person based on their individual experience. Here are 8 ways a physical relationship affects your marriage.
1. Sex makes the relationship stronger
Everyone has fantasised about all the moves that he/she would use on their partner while having sex. These fantasies also give you expectations from your partner when it comes to your sex life. Having sex before marriage helps you in that way. You get to know whether your partner is the right fit and whether he/she can satisfy you the way you want him/her to.
You can work on your sex life before your marriage so that there are no surprises later. You need to know whether you both are sexually compatible before you say ‘yes’ to him. Sometimes, the experiment works out beautifully and your relationship gets stronger now that you are connected on a sexual level as well.
According to a survey conducted by goodhousekeeping.com, 83% of the respondents aged between 33-44 years had premarital sex.
2. Focus on other responsibilities after marriage
Marriage is never just about two human beings. It is about two families. After marriage you might get busy with so many responsibilities with your husband’s family that you might not have the one-on-one time that you both need as a couple.
All your fantasies and desires lay as wounded soldiers while you juggle with several things at once. Keeping sex alive in your marriage could be a mammoth task especially if there is an issue of privacy.
Think about saving yourself until marriage and not getting to do it even after marriage. Having premarital sex will not make that wait sound so long.
3. You could be giving away all you have
Some couples get over-excited while having premarital sex, as a result of which there is not much left to do after marriage when it comes to their sex life. It becomes ‘boring’, because you have done it all and the frequency of dry spells keeps on increasing. After some time you may get frustrated thinking about how to revive your sex life.
If you are thinking about premarital sex, make sure that you have some tricks up your sleeve for your sex life after marriage. Do some, but also save some for later.
4. You could get pregnant
We are not meaning to scare you, but if you are not playing safe then imagine yourself with a big bump coming into the mandap. Because you feel assured of your future, you may act hastily and skip protection. It’s just one time, right? But that one time can spell doom for you if the time is right for your body to conceive.
Your man could get all frightened and back out because a baby was not something he had planned for. Such a scenario could make things much worse and you could be left with a decision to make all by yourself.
Better be safe than sorry!
5. You might not go any further in a relationship
All relationships do not end up with marriage. At times, all men want from a relationship is sex. Get your priorities straight when it comes to premarital sex. Do you want to be in a physical relationship and be okay with the fact that you are not going to be married to him or do you want it to be ‘the one’ ?
Not everyone who has sex with their partner gets married to them. Your partner could be satisfied with just a relationship and may not want it to go any further. Or you could feel you two are not sexually compatible and take a call to call off the marriage.
6. Your relationship could end up being just about sex
When a couple does not have a physical relationship, it is the emotional bond between them that keeps the relationship going. The emotional bond makes the relationship stronger and a couple tends to depend on each other.
When sex comes into the picture, the needs in a relationship begin to change and it gradually becomes more of a physical relationship. Your emotional needs may no more be a priority. You both take the relationship as a means to satisfy your sexual urges, and gradually it turns into that only.
7. You give up control
A woman gives in to having sex with her partner only when she completely trusts him with her body. There is an emotional connection to going physical with a man. After having sex, a woman’s hormones start to act differently. She gives full control to her partner and starts thinking about things like the future.
She expects her boyfriend to do the same, but that is not the case with most men. Men aren’t that submissive in nature. Sex is more like a physical thing for them than an emotional one.
8. You feel trapped
Most times when you get into a physical relationship, you can’t get out of the relationship that easily. You start to feel trapped because of the guilt seeping in. You try to keep going with the flow even though you know that it is over. You begin to feel guilty because your relationship is ruined and the bond that you had could get affected because of it. You keep beating yourself up thinking about why you let it go that far.
So is it wrong to have premarital sex? The answer is No. It all depends on what you want prior to marriage. If you are okay with being in a physical relationship before marriage, then go for it, keeping in mind how much it affects your relationship and the future of it. If you are thinking of building a future with your present beau, then keep these points in mind before moving forward with him.