Every day you stumble upon some or the other piece of news about an alleged extramarital affair with a single woman. But you might be left wondering why women date married men when there are so many single men out there?
What is even more interesting is a recent study says, nearly 90% of single women preferred men who are already in a serious relationship, compared to 59% of single women who were interested in single men. The term used by psychologists is mate poaching when single women get interested in married men without thinking of the consequences.
A research published in the Journal of Human Nature says that there is something called “mate choice copying”. When a woman is copying the ways of another woman, who has married this man, then mostly young women end up dating married men. They tend to mark a married man as safer, more attractive, experienced and of course, successful.
Related Reading: 18 Complications Of Having An Affair With A Married Man
10 Reasons Why Single Women Date Married Men
A friend of mine was shattered when she caught her husband red handed with her best friend who was single. She seems to be more traumatised by the fact that her best friend, who is smart, independent, young and beautiful, could break her home, rather than her husband who was equally guilty. She just kept on questioning, “How could she do it?” and “Why did she do it?”
Though later on things did somehow settle down, this made me wonder why a single, good looking, independent woman would opt for having a relationship with a married man? There are reasons why women date married men. We tell you 10 reasons.
1. Psychological reasons
Unlike men, single woman get attracted to married men due to psychological reasons before physical attractiveness. This is one major reason why women date married men.
These women want to copy the preferences of other women, so they find other people’s partners more desirable. When a man is wanted by other women, he automatically becomes an object of desire, says a study.
2. Mate poaching
Although this term is usually used to describe behavioural patterns among female species of animals, fishes and birds, in this case it can be used to describe the thinking of the single woman.
It means attempting to lure someone from their partner through various strategies, either to mate or to prevent them from mating with their partners.
Related Reading: Single Women! Here’s Why He Is Flirting When Married
3. Commitment is already proved by a married man
A married man has already proved that he is competent to keep his promise to commitment and provide stability and reliability to his wife.
In today’s commitment phobic world, a man who keeps his word is a treasure to find. Single women find these kinds of men even more attractive if they have just been dumped by a guy who doesn’t believe in a long-term relationship. An affair with a married man is a learning experience they are looking for.
4. To boost her self-esteem
When a married man showers his affection on the single woman, she feels powerful and her self-esteem gets the desired boost. If a man is making efforts to be with her rather than his wife, that means probably she is prettier and more desirable.
She may feel like a God-sent angel who provides emotional and physical support to the man who has a miserable life back home. But there are a few questions women could ask themselves before they choose a married man.
5. Dating a married man is less demanding
Most single women are single for a reason, like their career or other personal issues. A married man doesn’t have many demands when it comes to his mistress. And this arrangement suits most modern independent single women very well. Both get what they want from this relationship.
He is not too demanding on her time or he doesn’t interfere when she is hanging out with her friends or going on trips with colleagues. He also needs to give time at home and he is okay as long as the affair is on but doesn’t become too demanding.
6. Financial stability
As compared to single men, most married ones have a financial plan in place to secure their family financially. These married men are already running their domestic life smoothly.
The single woman finds this trait of the married man being the provider of the family very irresistible. He can also provide her with what she wants and that works out great for her.
Related reading: Why she prayed for his well-being while cheating on him
7. Maturity and experience makes them attractive
Married men deal with different complexities of life far more maturely than a single guy. Be it handling in-laws or parental duties, married men are already experienced to handle any unforeseen circumstances. They are less clingy and more understanding.
They are experienced both in life and in bed and single women find that very attractive that’s why women date married men.
Related Reading: Married People! Better Understand The Happily Single
8. High-risk high returns
A married man takes a huge risk while dating a single woman. This risk reveals his level of deep commitment to her. A man will only put his social credibility at stake for something that he is really passionate about.
He thereby creates a mesmerising illusion of how intensely he desires her; in the bargain the single woman gets whatever she asks for.
9. They prefer not to remarry
A study has concluded that men are twice as likely to remarry than women who are either widowed or divorced. Divorced women prefer to remain single after their first marriage mostly to avoid marital disputes that they already experienced.
When these women find another woman happily married, their want of this marital bliss attracts them to the husband of that woman.
10. They are just jealous and immoral
There are some single women who are just jealous of another woman’s happy home. Sometimes this jealousy reaches an extent where they get immoral and go all out to destroy the happily married couple.
They are narcissistic, at times ready to use sex as a tool to lure the married man and then can even blackmail him to get what they want.
What Happens When Women Date Married Men?
The outcome of an affair between a single woman and a married man solely depends on the ‘intention’ they had when they started it.
- A happily ever after: If the single woman and the married man genuinely love each other, then they will make it work irrespective of the hurdles. The man may divorce his wife and be with you forever. Yes, the separation from his wife and kids, if any, will be challenging. But there could be a happy future for all
- The single woman is left single again: All those reasons that made the single woman decide to date a married man may backfire if she wants to get serious in the relationship and he is not interested. Reality strikes and the qualities like commitment and stability that attracted her towards that married man instantly hold no value, the moment he decides to have this affair. If he can cheat his wife, he can cheat her as well. If the single woman decides to ask for anything more, the married man will use the most clichéd line “You knew what you were getting into”. The single woman may even have to go through some slut-shaming if the affair ever gets exposed
- The married man regrets the affair: The married man’s fantasy comes to an end the moment his relationship with the single woman starts becoming a replica of his relationship with his wife. When the excitement of physical intimacy and knowing each other fades away, the married man starts regretting the affair. The whole situation can get worse if that single woman or any third person who is aware of the affair starts blackmailing the married man
- It all ends amicably: This is the most common outcome of an affair between a single woman and a married man. The moment the novelty of the affair ends and there is nothing else left to explore, usually the affair dies a natural death. Both go their own separate ways without any expectations for each other, cherishing their moments together
Dating a married man is as good as playing with fire; you are bound to burn yourself at some point or the other. Even if you manage to steal away the married man, you will have to pay a hefty price. So it is up to you to decide what deal you are ready to make.
When a single woman is dating a married man it could be called infidelity or an extra marital affair. She is “called” a single woman who is dating a married man.
The dangers are many. For starters he might just dump you the moment his wife finds out, you could be investing emotionally in a relationship that has no future and you could also be called a home breaker or a slut.
If you have a baby with a married man it is your decision if you will tell the world who the father is or you will keep it under wraps. But it is going to be a tough journey ahead if you decide to be a single mother and if you continue the relationship with the married man there will be complications both personal and legal in future.
Affairs usually do not last and it ends as soon the novelty wears off and complications take over. But some affairs do become an ever after love story when the man divorces and decides to be together with his affair partner.