“He pursued me at first but then suddenly stopped chasing me.” If there’s one thing that both men and women enjoy, it is the chase. We love playing hard to get and testing the other person. But what of the other person? Ever wondered why the guy who seemed so interested suddenly stopped chasing you?
Perhaps, they even decided to move on and didn’t bother to tell you. You played hard to get and wanted him to pursue you a little bit more. There was teasing and flirting. You thought everything was going well but he stopped chasing you. Leaving you completely clueless. But what actually went wrong?
When it comes to love, dating, and relationships, it is hard to guess what’s going on in the other person’s head. So if you’re scratching your head when a guy gives up chasing you unexpectedly, it gets exhausting trying to understand what really happened. Not to mention, all the anxiety that comes along with it. So hopefully this article will help you figure him out.
10 Reasons He Suddenly Stopped Chasing You
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Before we talk about why do guys chase you and then back off, let us first focus on the signs of a man pursuing a woman. When a man is really interested in a woman, in what ways exactly does he chase her?
- Chatting you up: He’s always initiating conversations and trying to keep a conversation going even if there is a lull
- He asks you out often: He talks about meeting up often and is always looking for a free spot in your calendar to take you out on a date
- His texting skills: He responds to your texts at the speed of light, double texts you sometimes too
- He does unique things for you: He’s a charmer who loves to surprise you in all sorts of ways. Sending you dessert, buying you little gifts – he does it all to impress you
- He is always around: When a guy is pursuing you, he is always around to help you. He even calls you regularly and he never misses an opportunity to meet you
These are a few sure-shot signs he is pursuing you. But if you are now at the ‘he pursued me and then backed off’ stage, we understand how worried you can be. If he stops doing all of the above out of the blue, it’s clear something is wrong and perhaps something has changed.
He’s left you completely perplexed. You still want him but you’re afraid it’s too late. If you want him back, you need to identify the reasons why he stopped chasing you in the first place. Here are 10 reasons why he suddenly stopped chasing you:
Related Reading: 12 Warning Signs Your Partner Is Losing Interest In The Relationship
1. He feels like you’re not into him
Why do guys back off when they like you? Well, think about this. Playing hard to get and teasing is different from turning a man down. When you do this, they begin to think that the woman isn’t interested in them. Men like the chase but to an extent. No one wants to come off as desperate or clingy all the time.
So if you turn him down several times, he might think you’re not into him or that you’re out of his league. If “how to get him to ask me out again?” is a question on your mind, it’s best to start flirting back and dropping some hints.
2. He feels like a rebound
Men can easily spot the signs of being a rebound. If you are someone who has recently come out of a serious relationship, he may even have greater cause to think that you are only using him to get over your ex.
Do you talk about your ex way too often? Or is there any other reason for this guy to believe that you are not completely invested in him? Because once he starts feeling like a rebound, he will indeed back off. He will feel out of place in this ‘relationship’ that you have and will stop chasing you.
3. He’s dating other people
‘He’s not chasing me anymore!’ Well, sis, it could be because he has moved on and is now chasing somebody else. 21st-century dating is all about keeping all your options open. We don’t wait for cupid to strike us with an arrow and approach things more practically.
If a guy has stopped chasing you, there are chances that he’s seeing other people. He might have found someone more compatible with him. Of course, pursuing you does not translate into being exclusive with you!
Related Reading: 8 Ways To Make Him Regret Not Choosing You
4. He feels like a backup
People love keeping “backups” or standby lovers when in reality, they do not love them too much. It’s unethical but convenient to always have someone at your beck and call. They text them whenever it is convenient for them and use them. You may not be one of those women. But your man might have experienced being someone’s backup before. Which might make him read signs that he is your backup plan.
This could be if you only speak to him when it is convenient for you and don’t make him feel important. But if you are sure that is not the case, then there is an easy way to resolve the “he’s not chasing me anymore, what do I do now?” dilemma. Making him a part of your life will solve this problem. He might have stopped chasing you because he feels insignificant in your life. So turn things around and show him how much you care.
5. He doesn’t see the relationship going anywhere
If you find yourself wondering why he stopped chasing you, pay close attention to this reason. Did you ever play so hard to get it that it made him feel like maybe this isn’t going anywhere? Perhaps he was looking for a serious relationship but is now convinced that you two will always only be a casual pair.
If he has spent considerable time trying to woo you but sees no signs of interest, he might feel like he is just wasting his own time by running in circles. No one likes waiting forever for a clear sign. Once he’s exhausted from trying, he will stop pursuing you and try to move on.
6. You’re a control freak
“He pursued me and then backed off.” Well, maybe he liked you in the beginning but then he saw a side of you which he just was not very comfortable with. This is why we have to ask, do you think you may be a control freak?
Everyone likes things to be done a certain way but you have to allow the other person to surprise you. Let him make some plans! If you want every single thing your way even before dating, you might have scared him away. He pursued you because he was attracted to you. Your urge to control everything could be why he stopped chasing you.
Related Reading: 20 Simple ways to make a guy miss you
7. He is scared of commitment
Oops, this one is a biggie. If the guy chickens out the moment things start to get serious, he might be dealing with his own commitment issues. There are high chances that commitment freaks him out. If you really like this guy and want a future with him, talk to him. If he admits to having commitment issues, try to take things a bit slow.
8. He’s not interested in you anymore
Buckle up because this one is gonna hurt. If a man is interested, he will pursue you to no end. The moment he loses interest, he will decide to move on and spend his energies elsewhere. You either hit it off or you don’t. Why do guys chase you and then back off? Because something about your relationship changed his mind. If he doesn’t feel a connection or feels like you aren’t someone he sees himself with, then he’ll stop pursuing you.
If he’s a gentleman, he will own up and tell you that things weren’t working out. But if he has stopped chasing you out of the blue and does not bother to inform you, you are better off without him.
9. His deadline has ended
“He pursued me and then backed off. Why?” Well, think about this. Has it been way too long since he tried to make things work with you but you chose not to throw him a bone?
Most men have a mental deadline when it comes to chasing women. If you’ve kept him hanging for too long and he’s suddenly stopped chasing you, it means that his deadline has ended. No one wants to run after one person forever. He might think this is a dead-end and will want to move on.
Related Reading: 8 Reasons Husbands Lose Interest In Their Wives
10. He has found someone else
When a guy gives up chasing you, it could be because he has discovered that someone else is into him. He might have grown tired of waiting around for you and found someone else in the process. If he has been avoiding your calls and texts and is making excuses he might be ignoring you for someone else. In this case, it is best to accept that he has stopped chasing you and look for someone new.
When a man chases you, it is because he wants to prove his worth to you. He likes the chase but when he doesn’t get the response he was hoping for, he feels dejected. This might make him want to move on. If you actually like this guy and find yourself thinking, “He stopped chasing me, but I want him”, there is some damage control that you can do.
The best thing to do is to talk to him. Try to understand his perspective and see why he stopped chasing you. Communicate with him and tell him you like him too! If he’s still into you, you’ll be able to rekindle the flame. If he’s not, then you will get closure and will finally be able to move past the heartbreak.