Your heart races faster than your racer bike when she is around.
You begin to miss her, as soon as she leaves.
Every time your phone rings, you think it’s her.
You are in love and can’t wait to say it. We know that feeling. All of us have experienced it at one point or the other. But saying “I love you” means a lot more than you can imagine. And spelling it out too soon can spell disaster. While there is no fixed length of time to say the magical three words, it always helps if you have attained a certain level of understanding and commitment before you do.
What Happens If You Say I Love You Too Soon
How harmful can it be, right? Wrong! Saying I love you too soon can literally put a full stop to a fledging relationship. Here’s what happens when you say I love you too soon:
- You’ll be the one they gossip about to their friends: Sadly, saying I love you too soon will make you the butt of all the jokes, not only to their friends but also, maybe to yours. So, hold your horses buddy
- They won’t say it back: There is a strong chance they might not tell you they love you back and dealing with saying I love you and not hearing it back is another ballgame altogether
- You’ll experience some heartbreak: You tell yourself it’s no big deal if they didn’t say it back but you know, deep down, it hurts. Denial is the first step to acceptance, though
- Lots of confusion: You’ll be confused about the status of your relationship. Is it going forward or will it take a backseat? Saying I love you too soon can shift the dynamics of a smooth sailing relationship
- Things will get awkward: This is one thing we can guarantee you! Things will get awkward and you’ll have no place to hide
- They might get cold feet: If you’re dating a commitment-phobe, it’s best to ease into things before hitting them with an I love you that is bound to give them cold feet!
- They could re-evaluate the relationship: When someone gets cold feet, they start to re-evaluate their relationships and decisions. This means they will certainly re-evaluate dating you. All you can do is pray they don’t come to a terrible conclusion
- It won’t be special when you say it next: Saying I love you too soon will take away the charm of saying it the proper way, the next time around. So, when you finally say it at the right time, it might not be as special anymore
Read on to know how soon is too soon to profess your love:
How Soon Is Too Soon To Say I Love You
Yes, we know that once you think it, it’s almost impossible to keep that “I love you” to yourself. But trust us, you don’t want to be an I love you s#*% and the butt of all the jokes.
You should be afraid to say I love you too soon because it can make or break your relationship. So, if you can relate to the points mentioned below it’s too soon to say I love you.
You just started dating
Time is crucial. Simply because it gives you a chance to know her better as a person. We know your heart thinks she is great and she is the one. But the truth is that you still have a lot to learn about her. Why you don’t even know whether you are ready for this relationship yourself!
Slow and steady is the way to go, my friend. Falling in love too fast and saying I love you too soon can be detrimental to your final goal.
Related Reading: 11 Dating Tips For Beginners
You don’t share much in common
A relationship is a long-term commitment. It involves spending more and more time together and sharing experiences as a couple. It helps if the two of you have a few common interests and goals to pursue. After all, it’s not just the romance that keeps you in love.
Think about this before you end up saying I love you too soon.
You have not started discussing the future together
Saying “I love you” is all about taking your relationship to the next level. And the future is part of it. Look out for signs if you are uncomfortable discussing your future plans with each other.
Does she like to bring up topics like family and children with you? Do you dream of growing old with her? If you two often steer clear of such future talks, it’s best to put some brakes before saying I love you too soon.
You haven’t had sex yet
If find yourself wondering, “how long should I wait before I say I love you?”, one rule of thumb you should follow is to at least wait till after you have had sex.
More and more relationships are ending on a bad note due to sexual non-compatibility. Just like you need your personalities to complement each other, physical intimacy is equally vital to build a strong relationship. Individual leanings towards sex are different and so it is necessary that you know, understand and respect her preferences in bed. Until then, hold your horses.
It has to be more than just good sex
“OMG he said I love you on the first date!” – You don’t want to be that guy.
Yes, great sex is great, but no, it certainly cannot be the ‘only’ reason you love her. Too much action beneath the sheets does not mean you share an equally intense emotional intimacy. A lot of times, lust and the attraction vanishes after a while. If most of your ‘intimacy’ happens in the bedroom, it might just be too soon to reveal your feelings for her.
Also, we often confuse lust for love, and if you’re doing that, you don’t want to go around saying I love you too soon.
But fret not, there are a few things you can say instead of I love you, for the time being till the time is right to go own confession alley.
What can I say instead of I Love You?
Struggling with your feelings and afraid to say I love you too soon? Here are a few things you can say instead that will make your partner feel important without freaking them out and giving them cold feet:
- You’re so important to me: This will make them see that they hold a significant place in your life and they will appreciate that
- You make me happy: A very cute way to tell someone they mean a lot to you without saying the “L” word
- I appreciate you: This will make them realise that they have a special place in your life and in your heart without freaking them out
- I love it when you ….: Instead of saying I love you too soon, try telling them about a particular thing they do that you love. This keeps things casual and yet will make them blush
- You light up my day: This is honestly one of the best compliments you can give someone and show them their significance in your life
- This world is a better place because of you: Another totally heart-melting compliment that will make them go awww
- You mean a lot to me: This is you telling them they mean the world to you without actually confessing your true feelings. A lot of people can mean a lot to you but it doesn’t mean you love them, right?
- You’re a blessing: In your life/to the world. Basically let them know how their existence makes you feel more complete without saying I love you too soon
- Gosh, you’re adorable! : When you literally feel like you can’t take it anymore and you’re just about to blurt out the “L” word, replace that with this. Telling them they’re adorable is not just a cute compliment, but will also kill your urge of saying I love you too soon
- I love your spirit/smile/eyes…the list goes on! Basically it can be anything that you love about them that can replace the word “you”
There is a right time to do everything in life. Especially, with relationships, you can’t be selfish and have to respect your partner and take the relationship at a pace comfortable to you both. Remember this before saying I love you too soon.