8 Ways To Deal With Saying 'I Love You' And Not Hearing It Back

Saying “I love you” to someone and not hearing it back can be a huge blow to anyone. When we are in such a situation, the first thing that comes into mind is the situation Carrie and Big’s situation in the series Sex and the City. It is one of the most heart-breaking circumstances you can go through. But, fret not, it is not the end of the world; well, at least not yet. Here are 8 ways to deal with saying “I love you” and not hearing it back :

8 Ways To Deal With Saying ‘I Love You’ And Not Hearing It Back

So you said the three words but didn’t hear them back. Saying ‘I love you’ and not hearing back is probably a lover’s biggest nightmare. You’ve been sucked down into a hole of emotions, hurt and devastation. You wonder if you read the signs wrong or if you said it too soon. You’re mentally and physically exhausted from all the crying but just can’t stop thinking about this.

All you want right now is a time machine that you could use to undo this. You wish you’d never confessed your feelings in the first place!

First of all, you’re human. You are allowed to have emotions and express them. It is completely normal to feel shattered when you tell someone you love them and all you get is a look of confused emotions.

What you did wasn’t a mistake; it has to come out and you had to know how the other person felt too. If this hadn’t happened, you would be living a false fantasy thinking that the feelings were mutual. Knowing the truth can actually set you free in this case and stop you from diving too deep. Unrequited love has many facets to it, and the sooner you accept the reality, the better.

But, no matter what you do, you are still in a state of devastation right now. Here are 8 ways that you can deal with saying “I love you” and not hearing it back.

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1. Sink back into your normal schedule

It is difficult to go out in public and face people. You fear that you will see your love again and won’t be able to hold yourself back. But the truth of the matter is the more you isolate yourself, the worse your situation will get. Staying alone and in your feelings will not allow you to distract yourself and feel better. Once you go back to your normal routine, you will have something to divert your mind with. When you start getting back to your normal routine, your brain will automatically switch to that mode as well. Remember, the best way to deal with rejection is to face it. Confessing your feelings to someone and being honest to yourself actually makes you strong and not weak.

Related Reading: How To Respond To Ghosting Without Losing Your Sanity

2. Be honest with yourself

The truth is that you love this person. This is a fact that is not going to change, at least not so soon. Learn to accept the fact that you loved this person and could have been a great partner to them. You could have given them all the happiness in the world. But the truth is that they don’t feel the same way about you. You need to accept this fact and move on. Don’t suppress your feelings. Instead, embrace them. This is the only way you can get over this person and move on with your life.

3. Don’t chase after him/her

They have already told you they don’t feel the same way. So, although it may seem tempting, there is no use going after this person and expecting them to change their mind. If there were any such feelings, you would have got your answer then itself. Going after that person will only drive them further away from you and ruin the friendship/bond that you two shared before. Don’t get blinded by your emotions and lose an important person in your life. Stalking even comes in the category of a criminal offence.

4. Stop obsessing over it

Agreed, saying I love you and not hearing back can be devastating but dwelling on it is not a great idea either. Obsessing over it is a big waste of time and you are going to regret it once you get over this phase. Not hearing it back can be someone’s worst nightmare, but it’s also a reality check.

Accept the fact that it is over and there’s nothing between the two of you other than friendship. This is better than obsessing over the possibilities of having an alternate ending.

Related Reading: 11 Ways To Stop Obsessing Over Someone

relationship rules for lasting love syas to not push it further

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5. Acknowledge that they are still a big part of your life

That person may not have feelings for you, but that doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t care for you. He/she is still a big part of your life. Don’t spoil your present equation with him/her. Feelings come and go, but your constants still stay in your life. Think about what is more important, your feelings or the person? If feelings have to come, then they will, but till then, stay the way you are with that person. Perhaps not as lovers, but as good friends.

6. Ask yourself why hearing it back was so important

Maybe you thought that the person feels the same and you couldn’t wait to get it out of your system. Or maybe you wanted a reality check or a confirmation from that person. There can be many reasons why you said, “I love you”. You could have wanted to hear it back to get validation. Take some time to introspect and identify the reasons why you wanted to hear it back. If you already knew that they don’t feel the same way and just wanted a confirmation, this is it. But ask yourself, will your life stop because of not hearing it back? Know your self-worth. You know that you can do better than this.

7. Think about the other person’s situation

Do you think it was easy for that person to say no to you? They had their own reasons and you owe it to them, as their friend, to at least try to understand their perspective. What if that person said I love you, too, despite not feeling the same about you? Things would have been worse and more complicated. Your bond with that person would never be the same and maybe you wouldn’t talk to them anymore. You need to respect the other person’s decision and understand why they did what they did. There is always a concrete reason behind such decisions and you need to realise that.

Yes, saying I love you and not hearing it back hurts to no extent, but you can’t blame the other person for not feeling the same way since they can’t help their feelings.

8. Indulge in self-love

In situations like these, you need to know your self-worth. Don’t lose your self-respect over someone. Indulge in self-love. Don’t be alone. Hang out with your best friends and enjoy every bit of your life. Go on that solo trip you always wanted to take. Your life doesn’t stop here. There are so many more people to meet and who knows which one turns out to be your perfect match. You can’t expect someone else to love you if you don’t love yourself.

Realtionship rules for lasting love lets you be

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Love yourself and the world will love you.

It breaks your heart saying I love you to someone and not hearing it back. Getting over such a situation can feel like nothing less than a breakup. You feel betrayed and mad at the person, even though you know that it wasn’t exactly their fault.

This could be because you had too many expectations and when they came down crumbling, you didn’t know where to go. Such situations bring a lot of hurt and devastation, but also show you how strong you are. You can get over this. Just know your self-worth and appreciate all the positives in your life. Things were great before this person was in the picture; then why can’t they be great again? Take your time to deal with these emotions and cry it out. But once you’re through, don’t look back..

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8 Ways To Deal With Saying ‘I Love You’ And Not Hearing It Back