11 Sure Signs Your Wife Likes Another Man

signs wife likes another man
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Perhaps she’s dressing up a little too much before she goes out, or that tone she’s using with you is about as cold as the meat in the freezer. When you feel there’s something fishy going on, the signs your wife likes another man can help give you all the answers you need. But then again, it’s not like they’re all that easy to catch.

She probably says everything is all right and gets frustrated every time you ask her if she’s doing okay. To be fair, sometimes your paranoid mind can lead you to jump the gun a bit too much. Unless you found text messages on wife’s phone and have undeniable proof that your wife fancies someone else, you can’t just walk to her and drop the bomb.

For that, all you need to do is to keep your eyes open and not act super suspicious as if you are keeping a tab on her. Are you really jumping to conclusions, or do you need to pay more heed to the gut feeling you just can’t shake off? Let’s take a look at what the signs of a married woman in love with another man are, so you can put your mind at ease.

Why A Married Woman Is Attracted To Another Man: 5 Reasons

According to the APA, in the age group of 18–29, women are slightly more likely than men to cheat on their spouses (11% vs 10%). According to studies, 20–40% of marriages experience infidelity at least once. Typically, emotional infidelity is a precursor to physical infidelity. 

It is not absolutely necessary that your marriage is going to fall apart or that there’s going to be infidelity when a married woman likes another man. If the signs are caught early enough, the reasons can be addressed just as promptly. Findings of a Gallup poll show that 62% of the participants admitted they would get a divorce if they found out their spouse was having an affair, but 31% said they would not.

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Before we get into the signs your wife likes another man, it’s important to understand why they do so as well. Does it signify a clear lack of fulfillment in the primary relationship? Are you in an unhappy marriage, or is something else to be blamed? Let’s find out. 

1. The promise of sexual pleasure 

Just like men, studies suggest that women can also partake in infidelity for sexual pleasure. Though it’s important to note that just because a married woman is talking to another man, it doesn’t mean she’s doing it to cheat on her spouse. Nonetheless, one of the reasons she may start to like someone who is not her spouse may be the promise of sexual pleasure – or at least the mystique of it. 

2. Intimacy has died a slow death in the marriage

When there’s no emotional intimacy in marriage anymore, your relationship may reduce to that of two roommates who occasionally have sex. If the only conversations a couple has are centered around household chores, it’s clear to see why the lack of intimacy can be a cause for concern. 

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According to studies, women seek lovers to supplement their primary relationships, not end them. If she believes the lack of intimacy can be made up for by a third, it may be the reason why she finds herself falling for someone else. 

3. Lack of effort 

Though marriage is an institution the morals of which are to be respected, sometimes a lack of equal effort can make the journey gruesome. Effort in a relationship is what keeps things going, and when the husband couldn’t care less about the birthdays and the anniversaries, it’s easy to see how discontent can flare up. When a married woman is talking to another man, it can be because her partner has consistently shown a lack of interest and effort. 

Related Reading: 10 Signs Your Wife/Girlfriend Just Slept With Someone Else

4. The waning feeling of love 

The love two people feel for each other changes over the course of their marriage. It starts off as intense and all-encompassing and eventually takes shape as a secure and trustworthy union. But when compassion and adoration start to disappear, things can get tricky. When the love fades away in marriage, it’s one of the main reasons why both parties involved might try to find it elsewhere. It’s not a pretty thought, but it’s something that happens all too often. 

5. The thrill, the FOMO, the chase 

Pure is the institution of marriage, and righteous are those who uphold its morals. Ethical, secure and safe is how you’d describe a healthy, successful marriage. But let’s be honest, the thrill of doing something taboo is addictively alluring. It’s possible that when a woman starts liking another man, the added layer of excitement may increase the pleasure.

Plus, if two people get married too early, there’s always a fear of missing out on other experiences. In some cases, the grass looks tantalizingly greener outside the fence of monogamy. And as they age, they might grow out of each other because people evolve with time, and their perspectives toward love and life change. This could be a reason why your wife is interested in another man.

11 Sure Signs Your Wife Likes Another Man

Now that you know the reasons why a married woman can be attracted to another man, you might be concerned about the health of your marriage. Don’t worry, just because you think yours suffers from a lack of intimacy or if you’ve stopped reciprocating effort doesn’t mean it’s a complete shambles already (though it could use a bit of work). 

Nonetheless, to be absolutely sure that there’s nothing fishy going on, knowing the signs your wife likes another man can help you put two and two together. If your rose-tinted glasses blind you for long enough, things can get pretty rough. The quicker you know what to look for, the better it will be. Let’s get into them: 

1. She’s distant 

Our reader Andrew from Texas writes, “Does my wife like someone else? I can’t shake off this doubt. For the last couple of months, she comes home late from work. Most weekends she has plans with her friends. Even at dinner, she is busy on the phone. I feel I hardly see her or talk to her anymore.”

It is often said that women check out mentally before they do so physically. Her general demeanor toward you won’t be that of someone interested in the things you do. When was the last time you engaged in an interestingly deep conversation with each other? One of the biggest signs your woman likes another guy is if she appears distant, as though you never shared an intimate bond with her in the first place. 

married woman talking to another man: she's distant
It could signify a problem if she’s very distant in your marriage

2. Missed calls and unanswered texts: Communication has suffered

If her emotional needs are being met through a third, attempting to rekindle something in the primary relationship won’t be at the top of her to-do list. One of the glaring signs your wife likes another man is if she doesn’t talk to you like she used to or doesn’t talk to you much at all.

The lively woman you once knew who’d share everything about her workday with you now only talks to you when matters pertaining to the household need to be addressed. It might even seem like you don’t open up to each other anymore, or are incapable of it. When there’s a lack of communication in a relationship, it’s a much bigger problem than it may seem to be.

3. Her phone is completely off-limits 

Whether you need to check the map, make a quick call to someone, or even just Google something, you best believe her phone is not to be tinkered with. She never leaves it lying around unattended and her passcode is now as complex as the nuclear launch codes. That almost turns your assumption into a belief that your wife is interested in another man.

If you ask for her phone, she’s probably going to linger around you to make sure you don’t see anything she wouldn’t want you to. She never hands you her phone to look at photos, she just says, “I’m sending them to you.” If your wife is texting another guy and hiding it, she’s going to protect her phone with dear life. So if she’s been on her phone like a teenager who just discovered what Snapchat is, take it as one of the signs your wife likes another man.

Related Reading: How To Forgive Your Cheating Partner And Should You?

4. She blatantly lies or overcompensates 

When a married woman likes another man and attempts to hide it, she’s probably going to attempt to do so with lies. She might go into such incredible detail about each incident that it seems impossible that it could be a lie. She might lie about her whereabouts or the details of a person she has been talking to.

And there goes one of the sure-fire signs a woman is flirting with another man. In either case, it’s rather easy to catch the lie. When someone lies in a relationship, they have to remember what they lied about and when. Just bring it up a week later, and watch her try to talk her way out of that one. 

5. The biggest sign your wife likes another man: Life without you is more important 

She might spend all her weekends away with friends, and those clichéd ‘business trips’ now seem to happen twice a month. Even when she’s home, the hobbies you didn’t know she had, take up most of her time. All of a sudden, her demand for personal space soars high and it leaves you to wonder, “How much space in a relationship is normal?” That, my friend, is one of the signs a woman is flirting with another man.

“My wife is flirting with another man, she’s never home, and when she is, she’s always locked in the study for important meetings. My partner makes me feel insecure,” Jonathan told us. “Before I could even confront her about it, her friends told me about what was going on. It seemed as though everyone knew about it but me!” he added.

6. Her body language can tell you all you need to know 

When a married woman is talking to another man and becomes distant from her spouse, her body language will reveal it. The cuddles will feel cold, she’ll probably avoid eye contact with you, and her overall vibe isn’t going to be too welcoming. After a point, you might feel paranoid that your wife fancies someone else during sex because of the obvious lack of passion.

Whether she knows it or not, her discontent (or guilt) will be apparent in the way she conducts herself around you. The signs your wife likes another man often manifest themselves through expressions of disinterest in you. Her body language is bound to make her lack of interest apparent sooner or later.

7. You don’t discuss the future anymore 

How do you know if your wife has feelings for another man? One of the most telling signs wife won’t stop talking to another man is that your future together is no longer a given. Discussions about your retirements have dried up, and you’re probably not even talking about the vacations you can take next year.

Try to take note of how much you two talk about the future of your relationship. If she has already checked out of the marriage with you, she’s not going to be too bothered about the future of it. So if you have already found land to buy in the suburbs but your partner couldn’t care less about it, it can very well be one of the signs your wife likes another man. 

8. She’s always nitpicking at you 

“Why can’t you do anything right?” “Why do you dress that way?” Why do you talk like that nowadays?” If any of these sound similar, you’re probably facing a lot of constant criticism that’s putting you down. It’s natural to worry, “Does my wife like someone else?” when she spills hatred on everything you do or say.

She might subconsciously complain about small things you do to try and mend you into the person she’s crushing on, or she may just have become painfully observant of your shortcomings. Whatever the reason behind it, constant criticism and arguing in a relationship is one of the biggest signs of a married woman in love with another man. 

Stories on loveless marriage

9. Everything in your marriage is now a problem 

‘Communication problems’ might not even begin to describe the issues you are currently facing. If every conversation turns into an argument, and every argument turns into a week of stonewalling, it’s apparent that things aren’t going too well. One of the signs your woman likes another guy is when it seems like she’s trying to find problems in your relationship. If in the middle it seems like things are going good, it might just be because you two aren’t talking as much.

10. She spends more time with the mirror than with you 

That is, her grooming habits have shifted dramatically. It’s possible that a few new M.A.C products might have gotten her interested in makeup like she never was before. But if it’s a sign your wife likes another man, she’s probably going to change her grooming methods completely.

Yoga, Zumba, Pilates, hot yoga, you name it, she’s doing it. The bigger the change to her grooming patterns, the more it’ll be obvious. And if you let slip a passive-aggressive, “Who are you getting so dressed up for?”, let’s just say the answer isn’t going to be too nice. 

Related Reading: 20 Myths And Facts About Cheating In A Marriage

11. There’s a ‘friend’ or a ‘coworker’ they refuse to introduce to you 

Mark, a young artist, shares a story with us that almost drove him crazy, “I was pretty sure my wife won’t stop talking to another man because every day, every night the same name kept popping up on her screen. And I noticed she became extra cautious in her expressions and actions whenever that person called.”

If your wife is texting another guy and hiding it, there might be a mystery friend or a coworker that she now spends all her time with. You’ve never met this person, and it doesn’t seem like you will anytime soon. When a married woman is talking to another man, more often than not, you won’t know who she’s spending her time with, unless you have found text messages on wife’s phone. Your emotionally distant spouse will always consider their friends more important than you.

What To Do When Your Wife Has Feelings For Another Man

If you’ve crossed off one too many boxes in the list of signs your wife likes another man, you’re probably worried, thinking things along the lines of, “My wife is flirting with another man and I don’t know what to do.” Don’t worry, it doesn’t say that your marriage is over. There’s still a lot you can do. The best way to put forth your discontent with what may be going on is by talking about it, but you’ve got to make sure you do so in the right way.

You cannot go in guns blazing, hoping that a few accusations and your raised voice will get the job done. That’s only going to cause more harm, so try not to approach the situation with hostility. Attempt to start the conversation amicably and try to reach an effective conclusion. Get information, figure out your next steps, and most importantly, try to keep it civil.

However, it’s understandable that when a married woman is talking to another man, you might not be in the best frame of mind. If it seems like having a conversation with your significant other without raising your voice is impossible, perhaps couples therapy will be more to your speed.

With the help of effective couples therapy, an unbiased, professional third party will be able to accurately assess what’s wrong in your relationship and what you can do about it. Subsequently, you’ll also work on your trust issues or any other fundamental problems, assuming they need to be worked on. If the signs your wife likes another man have got you worried and you’re looking for help, Bonobology’s panel of experienced therapists is just a click away

Counseling on cheating partner on bonobology.com

Key Pointers

  • A woman can be attracted to another man due to a lack of physical and emotional intimacy in her marriage and a lack of effort from her husband
  • If she is acting distant and enjoying her alone time more than being with you, it’s a sign she might be talking to someone else
  • She is always glued to her phone and yet your calls and texts remain unanswered
  • Her body language makes it clear that she is lying or hiding something
  • She constantly tries to criticize you and dig out problems in your relationship
  • The way her self-care regime and appearance change, it points at another sign your wife likes another man

Now that you know what the signs your wife likes another man look like and what you can do about it, hopefully, you won’t let your marriage fall apart right in front of your eyes. Though you might already be feeling betrayed, try to walk a mile in your partner’s shoes before you take any harsh steps. Once you know where the shoe pinches, addressing any issues you may have will become easier. 

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