15 Sure Signs Your Wife Likes Another Man

Infidelity | April 29, 2024 | , Copywriter & Sports journalist
Updated On: April 29, 2024
signs wife likes another man

Perhaps she’s dressing up a little too much before she goes out, or that tone she’s using with you is about as cold as the meat in the freezer. When you feel there’s something fishy going on, the signs wife likes another man can help give you all the answers you need. But then again, it’s not like they’re all that easy to catch.

She probably says everything is all right and gets frustrated every time you ask her if she’s doing okay. To be fair, sometimes your paranoid mind can lead you to jump the gun a bit too much and begin seeing signs your wife is cheating or signs your wife is texting another man because she has feelings for him when there are none. Perhaps, something altogether different has been bothering her. So unless you’ve undeniable proof that she fancies someone else, you must give her every benefit of the doubt.

To find that proof, you need to keep your eyes open and not act suspicious as if you are keeping a tab on her. Are you really jumping to conclusions or do you need to pay more heed to the gut feeling you just can’t shake off? Let’s look at the signs of a married woman in love with another man, so you find the answers, one way or the other. At the same time, it’s also important that you understand where this attraction for another man may be stemming from.

5 Reasons Why A Married Woman Is Attracted To Another Man

Even the most subtle signs your wife loves someone else or is attracted to another man can put your marriage on shaky ground. While there is no denying that this can be a heartbreaking reality, more often than not, it’s a symptom of something amiss in your relationship or your wife’s life on the whole. So if you suspect that your wife has been feeling drawn to another man or is harboring feelings for someone else, it warrants a closer look at where these feelings may be stemming from.

This can go a long way in determining the impact of this curveball on the future of your relationship. After all, it is not necessary that your marriage is going to fall apart or that your wife’s feelings for another man will lead to infidelity. Even if it does, moving past it is not impossible. In fact, a Gallup poll shows that 31% of the participants said they wouldn’t get a divorce if they found out their spouse was having an affair.

So, no matter how grim the situation may appear to be at the outset, you can find a way to work through it. Recognizing the root cause behind a shift in your wife’s feelings can make that process that much simpler. That’s why, before exploring signs wife likes another man, we must attempt to understand the probable causes behind it. Does it signify a clear lack of fulfillment in the primary relationship? Are you in an unhappy marriage, or is something else to be blamed? Let’s find out. 

1. The promise of sexual pleasure 

Just like men, studies suggest that women can also partake in infidelity for sexual pleasure. However, it’s important to note that just because a married woman is talking to another man, it doesn’t mean she’s doing it to cheat on her spouse. Nonetheless, one of the reasons she may start to like someone other than her spouse may be the promise of sexual pleasure — or at least the mystique of it. 

2. Intimacy has died a slow death in the marriage

When there’s no emotional intimacy in marriage anymore, your relationship may reduce to that of two roommates who occasionally have sex. If a couple’s conversations are centered around household chores and their shared responsibilities, it points to a clear lack of intimacy and that is a cause for concern. 

According to studies, women seek lovers to supplement their primary relationships, not end them. If she believes the lack of intimacy can be made up for by a third, it may be the reason behind your wife dating another man or falling for someone else. 

3. Lack of effort 

Sometimes a lack of equal effort can make the marital journey gruesome. Effort in a relationship is pivotal for sustaining it in the long haul, and when one’s spouse becomes too complacent to make any effort to nurture the marital bond, it’s easy to see how discontent can flare up. The possibility of your wife dating another man or developing feelings for someone else becomes higher if you have consistently shown a lack of interest and effort. 

wife dating another man
Your wife may develop feelings for someone else if you have consistently shown a lack of interest and effort

4. The waning feeling of love 

The love two people feel for each other changes over the course of marriage. The intense and all-encompassing feelings eventually pave the way for a secure and trustworthy union. But when compassion and adoration start to disappear, things can get tricky. When the love fades away in marriage, either one or both partners might try to find it elsewhere.  

5. The thrill, the FOMO, the chase 

Even in a happy, successful marriage, the thrill of doing something taboo can be addictively alluring. It’s possible that when a woman starts liking another man, the added layer of excitement may increase the pleasure. Then, there is the fear of missing out on other experiences. In some cases, the grass looks tantalizingly greener outside the fence of monogamy. And that’s when signs wife likes another man may begin to emerge.

Related Reading: 17 Characteristics Of A Cheating Woman

15 Sure Signs Your Wife Likes Another Man

Now that you know the reasons why a married woman may be attracted to another man, you might be concerned about the health of your marriage. Don’t worry, just because you think yours suffers from a lack of intimacy or if you’ve stopped reciprocating effort, doesn’t mean it’s a complete shambles already (though it could use a bit of work). 

Nonetheless, to be absolutely sure about what it is that you’re dealing with, it helps to know the signs your wife likes another man. The quicker you know what to look for, the better it will be. Let’s get into the tell-tale signs that another man has your wife’s attention and perhaps her affection: 

1. She’s distant 

Our reader, Andrew, from Texas, writes, “I saw my wife flirting with a coworker and haven’t been able to shake off this ominous feeling that she likes him. For the last couple of months, she has been coming home late from work. Most weekends, she has work commitments to attend to. Even at dinner, she is busy on the phone. I feel I hardly see her or talk to her anymore.”

It is often said that women check out mentally before they do so physically. Long before the physical signs your wife just slept with someone else (if at all), there will be a sense of disconnect and emotional disinvestment. If she has feelings for another man, her general demeanor toward you would be of utter lack of interest.

If you can’t shake off the feeling that your wife has caught feelings for someone else, think when was the last time you engaged in an interestingly deep conversation with each other? One of the biggest signs your wife loves someone else or has developed feelings for another guy is if she appears distant, as though you never shared an intimate bond with her in the first place. 

my wife flirting
Her general demeanor toward you would be of utter lack of interest

2. Missed calls and unanswered texts: Communication has suffered

If her emotional needs are being met through a third, attempting to rekindle something in the primary relationship won’t be at the top of her to-do list. One of the glaring signs your wife likes another man is if she doesn’t talk to you like she used to or doesn’t talk to you much at all.

The lively woman you once knew who’d share everything about her workday with you now only talks to you when matters pertaining to the household need to be addressed. It might even seem like you don’t open up to each other anymore, or are incapable of it. When there’s a lack of communication in a relationship, it’s a much bigger problem than it may seem to be.

3. Her phone is completely off-limits 

Whether you need to check the map, make a quick call to someone, or even just Google something, you best believe her phone is not to be tinkered with. She never leaves it lying around unattended and her passcode is now as complex as the nuclear launch codes. This is one of the clearest signs your wife is cheating, at least emotionally.

If you ask for her phone, she’s probably going to linger around you to make sure you don’t see anything she wouldn’t want you to. She never hands you her phone to look at photos, she just says, “I’m sending them to you.” If your wife is texting another guy and hiding it, she’s going to protect her phone with dear life. So if she’s been on her phone like a teenager who just discovered what Snapchat is, take it as one of the signs your wife likes another man.

Related Reading: How To Forgive Your Cheating Partner And Should You?

4. She blatantly lies or overcompensates 

When your wife likes another man and attempts to hide it, she’ll likely resort to lies. She might lie about her whereabouts or the details of a person she has been talking to. She might go into such incredible detail about each incident that it seems implausible that it could be a lie. But if you can’t shake off the feeling that your wife is falling for another man, a little attention to detail might bring you a step closer to the truth.

You see, when someone lies in a relationship, they have to remember what they lied about and when. Just bring it up a week later, and watch her try to talk her way out of that one. If you catch her in a lie, it’s a red flag that your suspicions may not be unfounded after all.  

5. The biggest sign your wife likes another man: Life without you is more important 

She might spend all her weekends away with friends, and those clichéd ‘business trips’ now seem to happen twice a month. Even when she’s home, the hobbies you didn’t know she had, take up most of her time. All of a sudden, her need for personal space seems insatiable and leaves you wondering, “How much space in a relationship is normal?” That, my friend, could be one of the signs your wife is in love with someone else or at least fancies another man.

“I’ve seen my wife flirting with another man, she’s never home, and when she is, she’s always locked in the study for important meetings. My partner makes me feel insecure,” Jonathan told us, “Before I could even confront her about it, her friends told me about what was going on. It seemed as though everyone knew about it but me!”

6. Her body language can tell you all you need to know 

When a married woman is talking to another man and becomes distant from her spouse, her body language will reveal it. The cuddles will feel cold, she’ll probably avoid eye contact with you, and her overall vibe won’t be too welcoming. After a point, you might feel paranoid that your wife fantasizes about someone else during sex because of the obvious lack of passion.

Whether she knows it or not, her discontent (or guilt) will be apparent in the way she conducts herself around you. The signs your wife likes another man often manifest themselves through expressions of lack of interest in you. Her body language is bound to make this lack of interest apparent sooner or later.

Online counseling

7. You don’t discuss the future anymore 

One of the most telling signs your wife is texting another man because she has feelings for him is that your future together is no longer a given. Discussions about your retirements have dried up, and you’re probably not even talking about the vacations you can take next year.

If you’re looking for signs your wife is in love with someone else, notice how much you two talk about the future of your relationship. If she has already checked out of the marriage, she won’t be too invested in your shared future. So, if you have already found land to buy in the suburbs but your partner couldn’t care less about it, it can very well be one of the signs your wife likes another man. 

8. She’s always nitpicking at you 

“Why can’t you do anything right?” “Why do you dress that way?” Why do you talk like that nowadays?” If any of these sound similar, you’re probably facing a lot of constant criticism that’s putting you down. It’s natural to worry, “Does my wife like another man?”, when she spills contempt and criticism on everything you do or say.

She might subconsciously complain about small things you do to try to mend you into the person she’s crushing on, or she may just have become painfully observant of your shortcomings. Whatever the reason behind it, constant criticism and arguing in a relationship is one of the biggest signs of a married woman in love with another man. 

On Loveless Marriage

9. Conflict is a constant in your marriage

Communication problems might not even begin to describe the issues you are currently facing. If every conversation turns into an argument, and every argument turns into a week of stonewalling, it’s apparent that things aren’t going too well. One of the signs your wife loves someone else or has developed feelings for another guy is when it seems like she’s trying to find or create problems in your relationship — perhaps, as a way to distance herself from you.

10. She spends more time with the mirror than with you 

That is, her grooming habits have shifted dramatically. It’s possible that a few new M.A.C. products might have gotten her interested in makeup like she never was before. But if it’s a sign your wife likes another man, she’s probably going to change her grooming methods completely.

Cardio, Zumba, Pilates, hot yoga, you name it, she’s doing it. The bigger the change in her grooming patterns, the more it’ll be obvious. And if you let slip a passive-aggressive, “Who are you getting so dressed up for?”, let’s just say the answer isn’t going to be too nice. 

Related Reading: 20 Myths And Facts About Cheating In A Marriage

11. There’s a ‘friend’ or a ‘coworker’ they refuse to introduce to you 

Mark, a young artist, shares a story with us that almost drove him crazy, “I was pretty sure my wife was talking to another man because every day, every night the same name kept popping up on her screen. And I noticed she became extra cautious in her expressions and actions whenever that person called.”

If your wife is texting another guy and hiding it, there might be a mystery friend or a coworker that she now spends all her time with. You’ve never met this person, and it doesn’t seem like you will anytime soon. When a married woman is talking to another man, more often than not, you won’t know who she’s spending her time with, unless you have seen clear signs your wife is texting another man. Your emotionally distant spouse will always consider their friends more important than you.

12. Intimacy in your marriage is waning

The clearest of all signs wife likes another man is the dwindling intimacy in your marriage. When your wife is harboring feelings for someone else, it is bound to impact all forms of intimacy between you two, but sexual intimacy can be the hardest hit. Now, we’re not suggesting that saying no to sex is among the physical signs your wife just slept with someone else.

However, for women, typically, an emotional connection serves as the foundation for sexual desire. If your wife feels emotionally drawn to another man, and not you, it will invariably reflect in her desire to be sexually intimate with you — or lack thereof. That’s why a sudden dip in intimacy, without any evident reason or explanation such as stress, health issues, childbirth, and so on, can be among the signs your wife is cheating emotionally.

13. She is not affectionate

Non-sexual physical intimacy, characterized by affectionate gestures like hugs, kisses, cuddles, and holding hands, is among the cornerstones of a happy and fulfilling relationship. It’s what makes partners feel connected and wanted. A sudden lack of affection in the relationship is a red flag of emotional distance and disconnect. Quite possibly because your spouse’s emotional bandwidth is now dedicated to someone else.

signs your wife is texting another man
Lack of affection is a red flag

14. She seems unhappy in the marriage

Another one of the telling signs your wife is in love with someone else is that she seems perennially unhappy in the marriage. The prospect of spending a day with you doesn’t excite her. A romantic date night doesn’t bring a smile to her face. She doesn’t laugh with abandon anymore. She seems miserable and restless as if something is missing from her life. Well, given that another man is tugging at her heartstrings, it’s not hard to see why she no longer finds peace and contentment in her life with you.

15. But the ‘other man’ makes her happy

On the other hand, the ‘other man’ becomes the source of her joy. You notice that your wife’s face lights up when she sees a certain text message. A last-minute Zoom call over the weekend gets her more excited than a dinner date with you. There is a spring in her step and a song on her lips when she walks in through the doors but the reality of her life wipes them right off. These behavioral changes are clear signs wife likes another man.

What To Do When Your Wife Has Feelings For Another Man

If you’ve crossed off one too many boxes in the list of signs your wife likes another man, you’re probably worried, worrying, “I noticed my wife flirting with another man and I don’t know what to do” or “My wife spends all her time texting someone and seems to have checked out of the marriage. What should I do?” Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean that your marriage is over. There’s still a lot you can do.

  • Talk to your wife: The best way to address your concerns and fears is by talking about it, but you’ve got to make sure you do so the right way. You cannot go in guns blazing, hoping that accusations and a raised voice will help you resolve the situation. That’s only going to cause more harm, so try not to approach the situation with hostility. Attempt to start the conversation amicably and try to reach an effective conclusion. Get information, figure out your next steps, and most importantly, try to keep it civil
  • Take time to process: After the conversation with your wife, take some time to process whatever it is she tells on and reflect on what it means for you and your relationship. For instance, if she concedes that she likes another man, where do you go from there? If she denies it outright, what do intend to do next? Can you believe her and put these doubts to rest? Or will you be riddled with trust issues?
  • Focus on self-care: This can be an emotionally grueling time for you. You must prioritize self-care and not let fears, uncertainties, and insecurities take a toll on your emotional well-being and mental health. To make sure you aren’t compulsively obsessing over signs wife likes another man, try grounding exercises like box breathing, calm the chaos in your mind by journaling, and center yourself through mindfulness exercises
  • Seek professional help: Given the circumstances, you might not be in the best frame of mind. If it seems like having a conversation with your significant other without raising your voice is impossible, perhaps couples therapy will be more to your speed. In couples therapy, an unbiased, professional third party will be able to accurately assess what’s wrong in your relationship and what you can do about it. If the signs your wife likes another man have you worried and you’re looking for help, Bonobology’s counseling services are at your disposal.

Key Pointers

  • A woman can be attracted to another man due to a lack of physical and emotional intimacy in her marriage and a lack of effort from her husband
  • If she is acting distant and enjoying her alone time more than being with you, it’s a sign she might be talking to someone else
  • Being glued to the phone, not answering your calls and texts, skittish body language, constant criticism, unhappiness, and lack of intimacy are some signs wife likes another man 
  • To deal with this situation, you must engage in open communication with her, process your emotions and thoughts before deciding your next course of action, prioritize self-care, and if necessary, seek professional help

Now that you know what the signs your wife likes another man look like and what you can do about it, hopefully, you won’t let your marriage fall apart right in front of your eyes. Though you might already be feeling betrayed, try to walk a mile in your partner’s shoes before you take any harsh steps. Once you know where the shoe pinches, addressing any issues you may have will become easier. 

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