The man you love is suddenly acting very strange. He ignores you, forgets your birthday and whenever you call, he’s too busy to talk. The signs you mean nothing to him are obvious yet you ignore them in the hope that things will get better. In some cases they do. For instance, it might be that he is stressed by work or other personal matters and is not feeling very communicative but a few days later he’s back to loving you. Most times, however, his cold-shouldering is a sign you are convenient to him. In such cases, there will be many other signs you mean nothing to him.
Unfortunately, many of us have experienced the pain of a relationship going sour or a marriage on the rocks. During these times of uncertainty, we feel stuck in our lives and cannot understand our partner’s sudden turn of heart. The relationship that once was fun is now awkward and you are wondering if you should end things. You are understandably confused. To help you decipher the signs that you are not special to him anymore and help you move on with your life, we have compiled a list of 15 shocking signs you mean nothing to him.
15 Shocking Signs You Mean Nothing To Him
You feel your relationship is one-sided. You are the one doing all the giving, and he, all the taking. If you are exhausted and unhappy yet choose to continue to pursue the relationship, then read on. A man who is not in love will give you signs you mean nothing to him. It’s time to bite the bullet and make the right decision for yourself, after all, you’ve done enough for him. So how do you know if he’s not serious about you?
1. He’s distant and unavailable
This is one of the first obvious signs you mean nothing to him. When you call or ask to meet, his usual reply is that he is busy. Once you start hearing the word `busy’ very often, the signs he is keeping you as an option are pretty clear. The question here is, are you looking for a long-term relationship or just a fling? Figuring out what you want from the relationship will help you decide either to end things or enjoy it while it lasts.
A man who loves his partner will usually make time for them even if he is under stress or has tons of work. From time to time, he will call just to hear your voice and reassure you that once the project is done, he will have more time for you. This is someone ready to invest emotionally in the relationship and even with work pressures he is indicating you are important to him.
Related Reading: 8 Ways To Cultivate Emotional Safety In Your Relationship
2. He ignores you
This is a pretty harsh and shocking sign you mean nothing to him. When you talk to him, he is browsing his phone. When he sees you trying to move the dining table, he doesn’t even bother to ask you if you need help. When you cry, he walks out the door saying he has no time for your nonsense. Being ignored by someone you love is very painful. A man who gives you signs that you are not special to him is not serious about the relationship.
Rather than continue in the hope that his feelings for you will change, it’s better to put an end to the relationship. You don’t want to be an option for him when he’s bored. It will hurt and you will cry your eyes out, but in the long run, you will emerge with your confidence and self-respect intact.
3. He stops communicating with you
How a man speaks and looks at you says a lot about how he feels about you. When your partner loves you, he usually wants to share his thoughts, talk about his work and about things that matter to him. You are irresistible to him. However, if you are sitting at a restaurant with your partner and your friends and he isn’t making eye contact with you but is chatting up your girlfriends instead, take this as one of the signs you mean nothing to him.
As soon as he finds someone else, he will dump you. Tell him if he is serious about you, he needs to show it by being kind and attentive to you. Be clear about what is important to you. Convey to him that his being on the phone, talking to others or admiring other women in your presence upsets you.
4. His rudeness is a shocking sign you mean nothing to him
Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes he blows hot and sometimes he blows cold. Either way, he is treating you badly. He does not make eye contact, he cold-shoulders you, he embarrasses you in public, and he often shouts at you. All clear signs you mean nothing to him.
If this is a sudden change in his behavior, he is probably feeling trapped in the relationship and doesn’t know how to end things. A good idea would be to ask him calmly if he still loves you and values the relationship enough to try to work things out. Open the door for an honest conversation and perhaps both of you might be able to work things out. On the other hand, if he is always rude to you, then he was never interested in you. The signs that you’re just convenient to him mean it’s better to break up before things escalate to violence.
Related Reading: Relationship Bully – What Is It And 5 Signs You Are A Victim
5. He gets angry and impatient
This is a classic sign that he has fallen out of love with you. Sure, we all get angry and upset sometimes. The operative word here is ‘sometimes’. If he tends to be angry and upset with you all the time, it’s probably a sign he is keeping you as a backup never a priority. Your once kind and caring partner now shouts at you and throws things around.
If you’ve been wondering, how do you know if he’s not serious about you, pay attention to his behavior. If he’s serious and values you, his bad mood will usually blow over after a few days. He will apologize and be open to talking about it. That’s just part of being in a relationship. One of the signs that you are not special to him is that his anger lingers. He will find fault with you, blame you when things go bad and lash out with nasty and abusive words. Over time, this could turn to physical abuse so better put an end to the relationship.
6. He forgets important dates
He forgets to call you or plan a date on Valentine’s Day. This, despite you sending him a sweet message saying you hope to have a cute, fun and romantic date together. Worse, he doesn’t even send across a bouquet of flowers. You wait for his phone call or message saying he loves you but nothing arrives. He forgets your birthday and anniversary. When you ping him a reminder, he ignores it or replies saying that he’s busy, he’ll call later, but doesn’t.
This is one of the shocking signs you mean nothing to him yet you overlook it. You’ll cry into your pillow and wonder if you are overreacting. You aren’t, so quit fooling yourself. If these things are important to you and he ignores them, say a quick goodbye to the relationship because it has no happy future for either of you.
7. He’s secretive
When you first started dating he would spend a lot of time with you. He’d say he prefers your company to that of his buddies. Suddenly, he starts coming home late. He spends a lot of time in the office. He says he is going to hang with his buddies rather than come home and have dinner. He’s always on his phone and when you confront him, he smiles and says it’s work and switches off the phone.
The excuses and signs that he chooses others over you pile on. Like he’d leave the house saying a friend needs help, or regularly opt for a boy’s night out rather than go to the cinema with you. It’s time for you to evaluate your relationship. There will be other signs you mean nothing to him. Use this list to help you gauge your situation.
8. He keeps comparing you to others
Love is blind. I know, it’s a cliché but it’s true. If a man loves you, he will accept you as you are. You will always be a beautiful rose to him even when you are having a bad hair day or making a fashion faux pas. Loving couples tend to be faithful and loyal to each other. They are ready to give each other advice and tips on how to dress better, how to behave kinder, or which hairstyle looks good. We all look for advice from time to time and who better to ask than our partners.
The day he starts complaining you are too fat, too thin, your haircut makes you look way older than your friends, it’s time to pause and step back. The signs that you are not special to him are when he talks negatively about you and worse compliments other women. Your best option would be to let him go. Choose to place yourself above him and you’ll never regret your decision.
9. He makes you feel bad about yourself
Not only does he constantly compare you to other women but also starts making negative remarks about your cooking, the way you walk and talk. Nothing you say or do is valued. He demeans you in public, he criticizes you in front of his family and friends. He tells them about things you shared with him in secret.
He ignores your remarks or shoots them down saying you talk nonsense. When you realize you mean nothing to him, it’s time to move on. Find someone who treats you well. Someone who makes you feel special and treats you like the wonder that you are. Your mental and physical well-being should always be your priority.
10. He makes no effort to introduce you to his family or friends
You’ve introduced him to your friends and even taken him home on Thanksgiving. He, on the other hand, puts off introducing you to his family. And, we are talking one to two years down the line. This is one of the shocking signs you mean nothing to him and you should pay attention to it.
If he loves you, he’d be delighted to introduce you to his friends and take you home to meet his parents and siblings. He will indicate he is serious about you and he has nothing to hide from you. If he’s making excuses not to take you home to meet his family, it’s a sign you are just convenient to him and perhaps you should consider breaking up with him. You probably don’t mean anything to him beyond a booty call. It’s time for you to determine what you want from the relationship. If you are fine with the great sex and desire nothing more from him, then it’s the perfect relationship, so enjoy it.
11. He doesn’t discuss future plans
If he isn’t discussing long-term plans with you, it’s a sign you are not special to him. Whenever you talk to him about marriage, having a home together and having kids, he shrugs off the discussion. Determine what you want from the relationship and take steps toward the future you want for yourself even if that means ditching him, no matter how difficult it is. The good news is, there are ways to cope with a sudden breakup.
On the other hand, maybe he’s just the type of man who doesn’t want to settle down but still shows you he values you by discussing your concerns. In such a scenario, take stock of the things you value in life and weigh these with being with the man you love. While it might not be perfect, if most boxes on your list tick off, then the future might look different, but is still a possibility.
Related Reading: What Is An Enmeshed Relationship? Signs And How To Set Boundaries
12. He’s selfish
A selfish boyfriend or husband does not deserve your love or respect. He will never be able to give you love or kindness or make you happy. You are already beginning to feel the stress of the relationship because you are the only one making an effort to keep him happy. The signs he is keeping you as an option means he will never care about you, or your feelings.
Don’t try and think you can change him because you can’t. Such men don’t want to be changed. They choose women who they can take advantage of. When you realize you mean nothing to him, just let go of him. It’s better to be by yourself than unappreciated and mistreated by your partner.
13. He doesn’t value you
You can sense he does not respect you or treat you well. He speaks down to you rather than to you. He never enquires how you are or what you think. In fact, he calls his mother to ask her what he should wear for a big meeting. When he disregards your emotions, he doesn’t share in your successes and he always puts his needs before your own.
These are signs you mean nothing to him. He does not value you as a potential life partner or wife. When he chooses others over you, it’s time to bid farewell to the relationship. He’s only with you because he is bored, or just for a booty call.
Related Reading: 13 Signs He Disrespects You And Does Not Deserve You
14. He’s no longer interested in doing things together
You remember all the fun times you had together, right? Everything was perfect. You both laughed often and went dancing together. You’d go to the cinema, to the beach and have romantic dinners. Even if you were both at home, it was nice spending time together watching TV.
When you love someone, it’s natural you want to be together. It doesn’t matter what you do, you enjoy each other’s company. Except now, he’s no longer interested in spending time with you. He says he’s tired and would rather watch TV. He plans trips alone, at least that’s what he tells you. All of these signs that he chooses others over you mean you should be prepared for the worst. He is losing interest in you, or he’s probably met someone else and is unable to tell you that he has lost interest in you.
It would help if you bring up the topic. Open the conversation so he can come clean and both of you can decide your next steps regarding your relationship and lives.
15. He’s only interested in sex
He calls you late at night or when he’s drunk or bored. Otherwise, he’s not interested in you. You never hear from him except when he sends you dirty jokes and photos.
If this has been going on for a while now and the relationship doesn’t seem to be developing further, it’s time for you to move on. It’s different if you are fine with a sexual liason, go ahead and have fun. If you are looking for a serious relationship or to be valued, then back out and go your separate way.
When you realize you mean nothing to him, you’ll begin getting that sinking feeling that he doesn’t care about you. Trust the feeling. Rejection in love not only leaves behind emotional and mental scars but physical pain as well. Your emotional and mental health is your priority. The longer you put off the breakup, the more you will suffer.
If he doesn’t care now, most likely he will not care about you in the future. Don’t bother investing your time and energy in a one-sided relationship. Say a quick goodbye and head down the road to a better and happier place.