13 Ways To Test Your Boyfriend’s Love For You

Relationship Advice | | , Expert Blogger
Updated On: September 14, 2023
how to test your boyfriend's love for you

Men aren’t really transparent with their emotions. They don’t tell you what they are feeling or what’s going on in their mind. They will tell you they love you but can you tell with the utmost certainty that he loves you? You can’t. So, I present to you some ways on how to test your boyfriend’s love for you. I know it’s not the most decent thing to do, but hey, it’s better to be safe than sorry. 

Falling in love is one of the most intense and wonderful experiences that all of us have been through at least once in our lives. When you love someone, you don’t love just one aspect of them or the aspects which appeal to you. You love someone entirely, with all their quirks, flaws and imperfections. Does your boyfriend love you wholly for who you are? If you don’t know the answer, then now is the time to find out how to test your boyfriend’s love for you over text and in person.

Can You Test Someone’s Love For You? 

Women are not mind readers to know what is really going on inside a man’s head. If the man you are currently seeing has a bad track record or if you have had terrible experiences in the past, then yes, you can test someone’s love for you. You can test your boyfriend’s loyalty if he has had issues with staying loyal and there are many ways to test if your boyfriend is cheating on you.

Being cheated on changes you and it is one of the ghastliest things you can ever go through. It’s not just heartbreaking, it severely damages your self-respect. It makes you insane while you sit in your room questioning the authenticity of the relationship. When I was cheated on, I felt stupid. I felt like a fool. I cried for 8 months straight, I am not kidding. It took me two years to fully accept everything. And allow me to throw in another detail here. I still haven’t moved on. 

13 Ways To Test Your Boyfriend’s Love For You 

If you have given your all to a man and you don’t know if he loves you or just lusts you, or if you have the slightest doubt about his loyalty to you, then you are not wrong to look for ways of how to test your boyfriend’s love for you. Don’t think it’s immoral or evil. If, at the right time, I had asked questions like how to test my bf if he really loves me, then I wouldn’t have wasted four years of my life.

Just don’t confuse these points of how to test your boyfriend’s loyalty for mind games. Playing mind games with someone is nothing short of manipulation and emotional abuse. It’s wrong and it shouldn’t be practiced on people whom you love. Below are some light, fun and unique ways on how to test your boyfriend’s love for you.

1. Ask open-ended questions

This is one of the best answers to the question ‘How to test your boyfriend over text?’. He’s at his place and you’re at yours unaware of what he must be doing. He could be thinking about you or he could be watching a movie, or he could be checking another girl’s account on Instagram as you are falling head over heels in love with him. The only way to bridge this distance is by texting him.

You can ask open-ended and controversial relationship questions on dating, marriage, love, and loyalty. Open-ended questions deepen the relationship by expressing your emotions and unmasking your thoughts. Not only does it lead to meaningful conversations, it’s also one of the best ways to find out more about your partner. You can find out a lot about him. From trivial things like if he’s a dog or a cat person to his views on boundaries, commitment and relationships.

2. Talk about the future with him

How many of us have fallen prey to relationships that didn’t have a future? Almost all of us. That’s why it’s important to ask how to test your boyfriend’s love for you. This is one of the cleverest ways to test your boyfriend’s loyalty toward the relationship. Talk about the future with him.

Talk about the future with him

If you want to know how to tell what a guy wants from you, ask him what his future plans are, whether he wants to live in the same city or move to a new place. Ask him what kind of a wedding he wants. Find out if his future plans involve you or not. If he doesn’t bother answering or finds ways to dodge your questions, then such behavior can be subjected to further discussion. It will become clear to you that he isn’t in this for the long run. If you are looking for a life-long commitment from him, then he’s not the one for you.

3. See if he is interested in meeting your family and friends

If you have just started dating him, then this is one of the easiest ways to find out how to test your boyfriend over text. Just casually throw in during a conversation that your family is throwing a graduation party for your sister and see how he reacts. This could offer you an answer to the question ‘how to test your boyfriend’s love for you?’. Invite him to dinner with your friends. If he seems interested and readily agrees to meet the loved ones in your life, then you have nothing to worry about.

How do you know you love someone? When you want to know everything about them. The food they love, the shows they binge on, about their social circle and their family members. If he seems disinterested or never shows any earnestness in knowing what’s happening in your family, then it is one of the signs he is talking to someone else and he might not want a long-term relationship with you. 

4. Observe his actions

If you are asking how can I test my boyfriend’s love for me, then observe his actions. With careful observation, you can test if your boyfriend is cheating on you. Pay attention to small details. Has he not shared with you his mobile phone’s lock code yet? Or has he suddenly changed the code? Has he suddenly become overprotective about his phone? These are some alarming signs you shouldn’t overlook. 

Telling you he loves you isn’t a big deal. Anybody can say those three words without actually meaning them. You need to identify fake relationships. See if his actions are in alignment with his words. Don’t observe him in a way that makes you look like a suspicious or jealous girlfriend. Be smart. Observe him in a way that comes across as infatuation and concern. Observing him closely could offer you solid hints that could help you answer the question ‘how to test your boyfriend’s love for you?’.

5. Tell him you want to meet his parents 

Introducing your SO to your parents is a big decision. That’s one of the dead giveaways a person is serious about you. Subtly suggest to your partner that you’d like to meet his crew or let him know you would like to introduce you to his family members. If he agrees and arranges for a dinner where you can meet them, then he is serious about you and isn’t fooling around.

If you have been together for a while and he still hasn’t asked you to meet his friends and family, stop wasting your time and wave him goodbye. When I was in a relationship with my former lover, he was completely opposed to the idea of introducing me to his family. He kept saying, “I’ll introduce you at the right time.” When the right time came, his infidelity came to light. 

Related Reading: What Is Disorganized Attachment Style In Relationships? Causes And Signs

6. Ask him to post a picture with you 

This is one of the best ways to test if your boyfriend is cheating on you. Some men are generally inactive on social media, and there are some who are frequently active but they make it a point to appear inactive. They are just spectators and stalkers who will check out all the pictures but refrain from posting their pictures. If your partner falls under either of those categories, then you have nothing to worry about.

If your partner actively participates in posting and sharing pictures on social media but hasn’t posted a single picture with you, then he is just not ready to tell the world about your existence and that’s one of the alarming signs he is talking to another woman. Some people are very smart about this. When I persisted with my former partner to post a picture of us on his Instagram, he was so smart that he shared a picture of us using the “close friends” option. I was so happy. A year later, I found out I was the only one on that list. 

7. See if he compromises 

The ability to willingly and gladly compromise in a marriage or relationship is a constant flux which helps in sustaining the relationship. It is very important that both the parties compromise equally. If there’s only one person who is always compromising, then it’s nothing short of a sacrifice. If you are asking how can I test my bf if he really loves me, then try to make a scenario which would require some sort of a compromise from his end.

Start from something small. Suggest movie and restaurant recommendations. Then, move on to the bigger things like staying with you when he has plans with his friends. If he chooses to stay with you instead of hanging out with his friends, then you can be assured that he has the ability to compromise and is in the relationship for the long haul. But don’t go overboard with this and make yourself a villain. 

8. Find out if he is with you just for sex

A good sexual relationship helps in forming an intimate connection with your partner. If he comes over just to have sex or if he calls you over only when he’s in the mood, then you need to test your boyfriend’s love for you. If you want to know how to test your boyfriend over text, then notice if he attempts to make a flirty or sexual remark in every conversation. 

If all your dinner dates end up with the two of you having sex, then he is into it just for sex. Test his love for you by asking if he can stay over, cuddle and watch a movie with you without getting intimate with you. Some men I personally know don’t meet their girlfriends when they are on their period. That’s how you test your boyfriend’s loyalty and love for you. If all he wants is sex from you, then dump him. You deserve better. 

9. How to test your boyfriend’s love for you? See if he is vulnerable with you

He just doesn’t care about making the relationship work

Vulnerability is important in relationships for many reasons. It helps you to be more open and builds a wall of safety where you can unload all your secrets, baggage and traumas. When there is no vulnerability, the relationship is merely on the surface level. Both people have to be vulnerable for a relationship to work out.

If you are the only one who is sharing every thought that pops in your head, then it’s obvious he isn’t taking the relationship seriously. If you want to know how to test your boyfriend’s love for you, then let him know that he can trust you. If he still chooses to remain aloof even after you’ve proven your trustworthiness, then he just doesn’t care about making the relationship work.

Related Reading: Infidelity Recovery Stages To Heal From An Affair

10. Has he been there for you when you fell sick? 

Through thick and thin, sickness and health aren’t just sayings you throw around casually in a relationship. If you say it, then you better act on it as well. If you want to test your boyfriend’s love for you, then see how he acts with you when you are sick. If he abandons you and shows up again when you’re healthy, then your partner or spouse is taking you for granted.

When you’re sick and he shows up to your place with soup and medicines, then he’s a gem and you shouldn’t be asking how can I test my bf if he really loves me if he spends the night looking after you. Being caring is a rare quality to find in people. If your boyfriend doesn’t care about you when you’re ill and is out partying, then you need to question your priority in his life.

11. Does he support your dreams?

We all have dreams. Some we’ve achieved, some we’ve discarded and some we are moving heaven and earth to work out. If you want to know how to test your boyfriend’s love for you, then tell him about your dreams and notice his reaction to it. If he is supportive and pushes you toward achieving them, then it’s one of the signs of unconditional love and he will support you for the rest of his life.

When I told my previous boyfriend I wanted to quit my job to become a writer, he laughed. Yes, he burst into laughter right there and said, “Dreaming of becoming the next J.K. Rowling? Well, keep dreaming.” He didn’t just embarrass and disrespect me, he also insulted my writing which was pretty hurtful. The point is, when you love someone, you will never make them feel like shit for focusing on their dreams. You will support them no matter how difficult it is to achieve that dream. 

12. Disagree with him

Disagreements, conflicts and fighting in a marriage or relationship are common. You fight and forget because it’s the love you have for your partner which pulls you back to him. If you are looking for ways on how to test your boyfriend’s love for you, then disagree with him. See how he tries to settle this difference of opinion.

If he lets you have your way, then he loves you and doesn’t mind moulding his ways for you. But if he is adamant and stubborn about making his points clear, then it’s time you analyze the relationship. 

13. Are you his priority?

By this, I am not saying he has to put you above his siblings or parents or his best friends. It’s outright stupid to ask questions like “who will you save if I fell in the sea with your mother?”. If you want to know how to test your boyfriend’s love for you, then see how he treats you. Priority just isn’t putting one person over another. It’s more nuanced than that. 

It’s how your partner makes sure he spends time with you. He never forgets to surprise you with flowers. He apologizes after a fight. He makes it a point to include you in his decisions. He introduces you to his close friends and family. He gives you attention without you having to beg for it. He compromises equally. He doesn’t treat you like his last resort. These are the things you need to look for in a relationship.

When you are in love with someone, you want them to love you back with equal ardor and passion. But don’t ever beg for their love. It should come from within. What’s the point of love when you have to ask for it or demand it from someone? If you feel like you aren’t being appreciated or acknowledged, then you might as well move away from him instead of asking how to test your boyfriend’s love for you over text or in person.

11 Things That Trigger Emotional Attraction In A Man

Are You A Standby Lover? 15 Signs You Are A Backup Boyfriend

Parasocial Relationships: Meaning And Are They Healthy?

Ask Our Expert


Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.