Tips to embrace your kinky side without being labelled a ‘pervert’

by Saloni Maheshwari
Kinky sex couples

How do you go about talking about the things that turn you on? It’s not easy discussing sex. Many of us were brought up not to talk about sex at all.

How do you explore your kinks and how do you get to feel comfortable with your fetishes in a world that still judges kinky sex as ‘perverted’?

How do you embrace your kinky side?

1. Find and learn about your kinks

The first thing to know about your kinky side is to decide what gives you pleasure. Understanding not just what turns you on, but how and why it turns you on, can surely get your partner excited about trying something new and interesting. And yes, imagine explaining that stuff to your partner when you are blindfolded with your hands tied!

2. Get ready for the talk

After you have learned about your kinks, talking with your SO is the next step. If you are shy, leave the lights off, so you don’t need to see his face when you share your kinky and naughty ideas. Be specific when you talk. Saying yes, yes, yes, is not always enough. If you don’t like something that your partner does, you need to tell him. Honest and open communication will eventually get you both where you want to be and what you actually want to do.

3. Start with hypotheticals

Start off slow and make it sexy and enticing for your partner. You are expressing the ‘deep end’ when you discuss the fantasy. It takes a bit of the pressure off.

4. Give instructions to your partner

Giving your partner instructions and telling them why you love seeing them doing stuff can be extra encouraging. Right? When a man tells his girlfriend he wants to have a threesome, it’s not that he wants to get in bed with another woman. The reality may be that he finds it stimulating to see his girl getting pleasured. Even if you think he finds your fantasy daunting, making it about him can be empowering and make him more receptive.

Related reading: If you know the amount of fun in outdoor sex, you will want it even more

sex- passion

5. Try it out

Has your SO ever asked you for anal sex? Some have never tried it and don’t want to. That’s okay. If you are uncomfortable with it, you have every right to say no. But, if you want to try your kinky side, give it a shot.

Do you want to try bondage? Yeah, discover your kinky side with whatever you want to with your partner.

Related reading: Kinky sex not with a wife?

Many people have read and watched Fifty Shades of Grey. Remember that it is just fiction and a lot of what you read or watch is not supposed to be the way it works. BDSM is based on safe, rational, and consensual interactions between adults and believes it or not, some of what goes on in BDSM has nothing to do with sex!

Don’t be afraid to use your imagination and enjoy the journey to your kinky side. This can be a fun learning experience for you and your partner and can lead to much more satisfying sex life.

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2 comments

Preeti Goyal
Preeti Goyal June 25, 2018 - 1:14 pm

How do you go about talking about the things that turn you on? It’s not easy discussing sex. Many of us were brought up not to talk about it and were taught not to enjoy it at all. If you did, you were considered loose. Right?

But, not anymore. I feel we need to try out these tips and let’s just embrace our other side. Let’s open up!

Reply
Rishi Dhanraj
Rishi Dhanraj August 16, 2019 - 6:49 pm

Its not easy to try out.. Not many people really understand BDSM. And then it’s not easy discussing this with everyone… The BDSM groups hardly have any Indians..

Reply

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