What is the thing that couples look forward to most post marriage? If you ask anyone this question they would answer “sex” without blinking an eyelid. While sex is the most looked-forward thing in marriage there are some common sex problems newlyweds face that they most often don’t foresee. When this newlywed problem starts plaguing a marriage they don’t know how to solve it.
7 Common Sex Problems Newlyweds Face
People prepare for the wedding, they pick the honeymoon destination carefully, they involve interior decorators to set up their new home but what they don’t prepare for is sex. They most of the time lack the knowledge about sexual intimacy and the common sex problems that newlyweds can face. We list 7 such problems.
1. How often should newlyweds make love?
As many times they want is the right answer. Libido is at its highest when a couple gets married and making out a number of times in a day is normal. But sometimes it happens that newlyweds don’t understand how many times is actually comfortable for both.
Sometimes the man comes across as too needy if he wants to have sex a number of times and sometimes the woman feels a bit uncomfortable because of the irritability and the pain she might experience in her vagina because of the frequency of intimacy.
Men also often bleed out there and can be sore. And lastly, this is a time when two people can attain sexual compatibility if they can achieve an understanding of each other’s needs.
2. How to use contraception
Many men are inexperienced in using a condom. They often lose their erection while trying out one for the first time. They often feel shy and unequipped in front of their wife. And the wife, on the contrary, does not know how to react to such a situation and make him feel comfortable.
There is rarely a discussion on what contraception works for a couple. So they are unsure most of the time. Sometimes wrong knowledge and techniques lead to an unplanned pregnancy. This is a common sex problem most newlyweds face. Plan on contraception and you could even meet your gynecologist to take help.
3. Premature ejaculation and lack of orgasm
If a man ejaculates prematurely and a woman does not orgasm the first few times it does not mean there is no passion in the relationship and it is doomed from the beginning. Sex is something that you perfect with practice and these are the most common sex problems newlyweds face because they are inexperienced.
With time the man would learn to control his ejaculation and know what brings his wife to an orgasm.
4. Myths influence thoughts
This is more true about Indian men who grow up with the belief that bleeding on the first night is a sign of virginity. And all hell breaks loose if she doesn’t. So many Indian marriages break down because of this reason.
Women also grow up with the expectation that every man is a tiger in bed and when it isn’t so, they end up feeling dejected and frustrated.
5. Lack of communication
This is the biggest mistake most newlyweds make. They do not communicate to each other about sexual needs and expect the other to figure it out.
In fact, there are very few couples who have a clear conversation around sex before the honeymoon. It’s most of the time groping in the dark and finding out what works and what does not work.
6. It’s not mind-blowing sex every time
Its true newlyweds can’t get enough of each other after the vows are taken. And they are always looking for a chance to make out. But one has to accept that every make-out session will not lead to mind-blowing sex. Don’t compare one session with another because every session will be different. The best part is you are more with each other to try out new things but that would not always mean crazy sex. How often should newlyweds make love? As many times you want but some sessions will be hotter than others, accept that.
7. Time management
This is another problem newlyweds start facing. As soon the honeymoon is over there is a job to keep, chores to do, relatives (from both sides) to socialize with and there is always a demand on your time. And by the time you reach the bedroom you are exhausted.
But don’t let these aspects of domesticity overwhelm you. Time management is crucial in a marriage. If you learn that quickly better for you.
But you don’t have to wait to hit the bedroom to do your thing. Try the kitchen table top while doing the dishes. It could be mind-blowing.
Before marriage, people usually talk about everything – from the wedding trousseau to the colour of the curtains – but what they never discuss is sex. It is a given it would happen. Sometimes it’s a good idea to visit a sex counsellor or marriage counsellor to take advice. This could really smoothen out things for you and you would not face the common newlywed sex problems.