11 Tips To Identify When You Are Connecting With Someone

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It’s a spellbinding experience when you connect with someone on an emotional, physical, telepathic, intellectual, and even financial level. Real connections are hard to find. You meet them and you feel like you’ve known them your entire life. A study showed that strong social connections lead to a 50% increased chance of longevity. They can help you recover from disease faster and may even lengthen your life. Two things happen when you start dating:

  • You fall in love and build a strong connection with someone
  • Your whirlwind romance fades and reaches an inevitable end 

There are many terms for when you connect with someone on a deeper level. Some call it twin flames, karmic connection, or a telepathic connection, and some refer to that person as their soulmate. 

What Does It Mean To Connect With Someone

Connecting with someone isn’t just about meeting them and talking to them about politics, sports, or about the mundane details of life. It runs deeper than that. It’s how you open up to someone without any pretense or filter. Developing personal relationships is very important in the long run. According to Forbes, there are 7 pillars of connecting with someone. They could be your neighbor, your high school friend, or the cute man you met at the coffee shop. 

You can connect with someone using the below-mentioned tips: 

  1. Be genuine
  2. Provide help to them if or when it’s needed
  3. Be attentive when they are talking
  4. Get to know the people in their life
  5. If you haven’t met them in a while, check in on them
  6. Make a real connection by avoiding surface-level conversation
  7. Remain unforgettable by being thoughtful and kind

How To Identify When You Are Connecting With Someone

How to know if you have a genuine connection with someone? Shirley, a 25-year-old reader from Kansas, shares, “For me, I know I have a strong connection with someone when there is a difference between sympathy and empathy. Connecting with someone is being able to empathize with a particular feeling they have, because you have had similar experiences that have affected you similarly.” Bonding can mean different things to different people. So let’s look at some of the signs you are connecting with someone.

Related Reading: 8 Ways To Make One-Sided Love Successful

1. Silence isn’t awkward or boring

What does it mean to connect with someone? When you don’t have to fill in the silence with constant prattling. There are times when you and your partner come back home after a hectic day. You just want to sit with them and have dinner. There’s not a lot of chit-chat and definitely no awkwardness. There’s no desperate need to fill the quietness.

You just sit there on the couch and enjoy each other’s energy. Many people confuse silence as boring. That’s far from the truth because at some point, you are going to have to be silent. It’s inevitable. You don’t always need to have a list of things to talk about, and it doesn’t mean the connection or the spark is gone. Being comfortable in silence, in fact, makes the connection stronger.

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2. You feel safe with them

A study on emotional safety says that the term is used more broadly to describe the circumstances and facilitators that make a couple feel comfortable, safe, loved, appreciated, protected, expressive, assured, and confident. It refers to a relational experience where both parties feel safe to be open, honest, and vulnerable with one another. They found that emotional safety establishes a genuine and meaningful connection

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You know you connect with someone on a deeper level when you feel safe and protected around them. It’s not just physical safety. It’s emotional safety where you know they won’t hurt you intentionally. You feel secure. You can be vulnerable with them without the fear of being judged. 

You will know there is an unexplainable connection with someone when you don’t walk on eggshells around them. When they make you feel safe, you automatically begin to trust them. 

3. There’s no jealousy or controlling behavior

When you have a strong connection with someone, the relationship will be free of constant jealousy, insecurity, manipulation, gaslighting, and other kinds of toxicity which makes a relationship unhealthy. You won’t worry about their relationship with others when you deeply connect with someone. It’s one of the signs you have an emotional connection with someone.

Rachel, a software engineer, talks about her strong connection with someone who came into her life four months ago. She says, “I felt drawn to this person mainly because he doesn’t get possessive or jealous about my male friends. There’s so much understanding between us that’s hard to describe. He doesn’t try to control me or change me. He has seen me at my worst yet refuses to leave my side. Through him, I’m learning how to know if you have a genuine connection with someone.”

4. They make you a better person

When you have an undeniable connection with someone you barely know, you will want to better yourself for them. It’s not about your appearance or attitude. You become more selfless, caring, and empathetic.

Before I met my partner, I didn’t know that you could connect with someone who can make you a better person. I was very controlling. If something didn’t happen according to my will and wishes, I would withhold my affection. Silent treatment was my go-to option. But with this unexplainable connection with someone like him, I have learned to let go of that control. I have developed strategies to stop being controlling. I have learned to talk about my issues rather than stonewall him.

5. You feel a sense of belonging

You emotionally connect with someone when you feel a sense of belonging with them. It normally requires a lot of effort to build this sense of home. But when it comes naturally with someone, then it’s one of the signs you have a strong connection with them. I asked my friend Julia what a sense of belonging means to her. She said, “When you are accepted for what you are, and when you are wholeheartedly welcomed for being you. There’s mutual affection and you feel like you matter to them.”

Related Reading: Can You Fall In Love With Someone Online Without Meeting Them?

6. There is mutual trust, respect, and understanding

What does it mean to connect with someone? When you have mutual trust, respect, and understanding with them. There’s no relationship doubts or suspicion of them lying to you or betraying you. They don’t disrespect you or belittle you. They try to empathize with you, and validate your issues and concerns. These are some realistic expectations in relationships which you need to have.

You have a deep connection with someone when they maintain a loving bond with you even during a conflict. To be completely understood happens when you connect with someone with your heart, mind, and soul. 

infographic on how to identify when you are connecting with someone
Tips to identify when you are connecting with someone

7. Compromising doesn’t feel like sacrifice 

This is one of the most important tips to identify when you are connecting with someone new. Does healthy compromise feel like a burden? If so, then this is not the right person for you. A healthy compromise is done willingly because you love and care for the person. Nadia, a social worker says, “Compromising means meeting in the middle to solve a conflict or difference of opinion. When you emotionally connect with someone, you come to a mutual agreement, not out of compulsion but out of love.”

8. You help each other grow

What’s the point of being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t let you grow? Life is all about positive growth. When you don’t grow, you remain stagnant. One of the tips to identify when you are connecting with someone is when you feel you are growing in many aspects of your life. This is one of the tips that keep a relationship happy.

Growth can be of many types:

  • Emotional
  • Intellectual
  • Spiritual
  • Financial
  • Sexual

Riri Trivedi, a clinical hypnotherapist, talks about how you can grow by giving each other space. She says, “Give your partner space to grow in a relationship and claim that space for yourself too. Establish firm personal boundaries so that you get the space you need. Without it, individual growth will get stifled. You need to make it clear what you will and what you won’t allow in the relationship.” 

On falling in love and more

9. You don’t need words to communicate

You know you have a strong connection with someone when you don’t use words to communicate. You look at them and you know they are feeling low. It’s one of the signs you have a telepathic connection with them. Their behavior and gestures are enough to let you know something is wrong.

Non-verbal communication involves body language, eye contact, and facial expressions. Your intense connection with someone you barely know could be because of non-verbal communication as it has the power to bring two people close and increase understanding between them. 

10. It’s peaceful when you’re with them

When you connect with someone new, you are riding high on the honeymoon phase. When that phase fades away and you feel at peace with them, it’s one of the signs you have found your soulmate. You feel comfortable, calm, and your gut tells you that this is ‘the one’ for you. It’s the same kind of peace you get when you come back home after a long vacation. The right person will feel like home.

When asked on Reddit about the peace after the honeymoon phase, a user replied, “I love it after the honeymoon phase. It’s a different type of love. It’s accepting each other and not trying to impress each other. Reality sets in and it might or might not make or break you. You’ll learn you will never stop learning about each other while you continue to grow.”

11. There’s unconditional love 

Unconditional love is when you love a person without any conditions, limitations, or any kind of ulterior motive. You love them no matter what. That’s the beginning and end of it. There are no sky-high expectations. There is no invasion of privacy. Natasha, a jewelry designer from Detroit, says, “Unconditional love isn’t hard to find. When you connect with someone who is compassionate, loving, kind, supports you, and doesn’t restrict you from anything, there is unconditional love from their side.”

Key Pointers

  • Emotional, intellectual, situational, familial, and sexual are some forms of connections among humans
  • In a meaningful connection, silence is comfortable and you help each other grow
  • When you connect with someone, there is mutual trust, respect, and understanding

You have an unbreakable and strong connection with someone when they make you feel like a priority and not an option. This person will be honest with you and won’t be afraid to share their vulnerabilities. You will feel free and liberated around them. They will care for you and if it turns sexual, the sex will be great.


1. When you feel a connection with someone do they feel it too?

They may or may not. There’s no guarantee that the person you like has to like you back. It’s always a 50-50 chance for that to happen. 

2. What causes an instant connection with someone?

A strong eye game is one of the causes of instant connection with someone. Some are drawn toward physical appearance whereas some people like mannerisms and the way someone talks. 

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