How To Find The One: 13 Tried and Tested Tips

Love and Romance | | , Journalist & Writer
Updated On: December 15, 2023
find the one

How do you actually find the one? The desire to have that one special person to share your life with, that soul connection, someone you can confide in and talk about the nothings of your everyday life has fueled romantic pursuits for as long as one can remember. So, it’s no surprise that even in this day and age of instant connections facilitated by a swipe on a screen, you find yourself seeking that special connection that you can only create when you find the one you can’t live without.

In fact, it wouldn’t be a reach to say that the exhaustion and emotional void brought on by modern dating has made the desire of meeting someone special and building a lasting connection with them stronger than before. But the whole casual dating routine and the roller coaster of instant connections that fizzle out just as quickly can also leave one skeptical about their prospects. Perhaps, a part of you is even wondering, “Will I ever find the one?”

Well, you can and you will. We’re here to help you in this journey, which involves becoming a version of yourself that is worthy of the one you are excited about sharing your life with as well as looking in the right places and opening your heart and mind so that you don’t miss out on the early signs you’ve found the one.

What Does Finding The One Mean?

What does it mean to find the one? And how do you know someone is the one? To be able to answer these questions accurately, you first need to define the find the one meaning for yourself. This is important because, in popular culture, we often see romcoms and fairy tales portray the idea of “the one” as a flawless, idealized soulmate who checks all the boxes. But in real life, romantic relationships are more complex and nuanced.

Find the one meaning isn’t looking for perfection, but rather finding someone who feels like perfect for you. While the definition of meeting the right person can be different for different people, it broadly boils down to finding someone who:

  • Shares your values
  • Complements your strengths and weaknesses
  • Accepts you with all your imperfections
  • Build a deep emotional connection with
  • Find compatibility and mutual understanding with
  • Becomes your friend, lover, and companion
  • You can see yourself spending your life with

Related Reading: 13 Tips To Date Online Successfully And Find Your Ideal Partner

13 Tried and Tested Tips To Find The One

Meeting the love of your life and finding your happily ever after. Meeting the right person who makes your life brighter by just being in it. Dating and finding the one instantly. These are all idealistic notions we often set out with as we embark on a quest to find a partner for life, someone we can share a soul connection with. Then, life happens and gives us a reality check.

The exhaustion of swiping on dating apps. A heartbreak. An unhappy relationship. Those ideals are shaken up. And you find yourself questioning, “Is it rare to find the one? Will I ever find the one?” It doesn’t matter what your journey so far has been like, if you want to find everlasting love and your true soulmate, we’re here to guide you on your quest. Let’s look at 13 tried and tested tips that can help you find the one and transform your romantic journey:

1. Get to know yourself on a deeper level

How do you know someone is the one? How do you actually find the one? You may have your romantic prospects and interests in mind while trying to solve these mysteries, however, the answer lies within. To find the right partner and create a fulfilling love life, you need to understand yourself on a deeper level.

You need to take the time to explore your desires, needs, and values. Only then can you find a partner who complements you perfectly. Here are some simple and effective ways of self-exploration that will take you a step closer to finding your ideal partner:

  • Grab a pen and paper, or use a journaling app, to declutter your mind and express your thoughts. Write about your dreams, aspirations, and ideal love life
  • Make a vision board for your dating life. Gather images, quotes, and words that resonate with your desired relationship. Include the activities you enjoy and the destinations you want to explore with your future partner. This visual representation will keep your needs in focus and inspire you to manifest them
  • Set aside some quiet moments for mindfulness, allowing yourself to be present and reflect on your romantic life. Focus on your inner thoughts and feelings, and observe what arises. This practice can help you gain clarity about where you are in your romantic journey and what you genuinely seek in a partner

Related Reading: Psychic Expert Shares 18 Spiritual Signs Your Ex Misses You And Wants You Back

2. Define your ideal partner (with clarity)

how do you actually find the one
Take time to reflect on the qualities and characteristics you desire in a partner

Do you remember the good old days when your best friend would ask you, “How would you describe your dream girlfriend?” or “What kind of a guy would you date?” Turns out, defining your ideal partner with clarity is truly important when choosing your life partner. So, take some time to reflect and create a list of qualities and characteristics you desire in a partner. Try these tips:

  • Make a list of the qualities you value in a partner. Think about the traits that are important to you — these could be anything from kindness to honesty, ambition, a sense of humor, or shared interests
  • When you think about the green flags, it is also important to make a list of red flags or habits that you do not want in your ideal partner
  • Think about the kind of love you are looking for. Define your non-negotiables when it comes to things to look for in a relationship. For instance, do you seek adventure and excitement, or are you more interested in slow living?
  • Consider your past experiences, what worked and what didn’t. This reflection will help you gain clarity on who would be your perfect person

3. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself

Before you work toward meeting someone special, make yourself worthy of being the one for someone. Do the work to inculcate awareness about your own thought patterns, belief systems, inadequacies, and shortcomings, and take corrective measures to fix whatever it is that’s impeding your ability to open your heart and your life to true love.

Replacing unhealthy patterns with healthier ones not only puts you in a better place to find the right partner but also enables you to build a healthy relationship with them. So, focus on becoming the best version of yourself if you want to find the one in a relationship.

Related Reading: Where To Meet Women? 12 Best Places To Meet Women – Outside Of Dating Apps

4. Do not act out of desperation

“Why can’t I figure out how to find my soulmate?” “Will I ever find the one or end up alone?” Thoughts like these are an indication that you’re seeking a connection with another person from a place of desperation and neediness — neither is attractive. Perhaps, all your friends are in stable, committed relationships, and that has got to fixated on the idea that you, too, need to find that one person you can share your life with. (Remember Rajesh Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory, and his decision to ask his parents to set him up with a girl because all his friends were married. And how that blew up in his face.)

Maybe you’re acutely aware that the biological clock is ticking, and you just want to find your Mr./Ms. Right before it’s too late. However, these are not the right reasons to seek out a companion. You should be with someone because you can’t imagine living your life any other way, not to check a box of life’s to-do list.

When you do the latter, it fills you up with a sense of desperation, which makes you cling to and settle for the first somewhat compatible person that comes along. This, in turn, keeps you caught in the loop of unfulfilling relationships, leaving you wondering, “Is it rare to find the one? Should I just settle for someone who makes me somewhat happy instead?

5. Make yourself happy and you will attract love

Ever noticed those people who radiate happiness? They have this magnetic charm that makes them so easy to love and keep the spark alive. Well, here’s a little secret: finding real love starts with finding happiness within yourself. It’s like a superpower that attracts love into your life.

When you prioritize your happiness and take care of yourself, you become irresistible in the best possible way. So, go ahead and do the things that bring you joy. Pursue your passions and surround yourself with positivity. The one who’s meant for you will find their way to you.

6. Have faith that your true love will find you

It’s completely natural to feel sad when you’ve been putting in the effort to find true love without seeing the results you desire. But try not to dwell on thoughts like, “Will I ever find true love?” Instead, stay optimistic that the right person will come into your life at the perfect time.

Trust in the power of positivity and believe that the universe has a plan for you. Every step you take — even if it doesn’t lead you directly to your true love — is bringing you closer to them. Therefore, have unwavering faith in your journey and keep searching with a hopeful heart. Remember, when you invest a lot of faith in your search for true love, you increase the chances of finding your soulmate connection.

7. Be open to new experiences

is it rare to find the one
Finding the one isn’t hard if you know where to look

Embrace the unexpected moments that could lead to something special, whether it’s striking up a conversation with someone at a coffee shop (can lead to some great coffee dates), connecting with someone at a social event, or even meeting someone while traveling. You never know when and where you might meet the one for you.

Step out of your comfort zone, try new activities, or join communities that match your interests. This can help you to meet like-minded individuals who could potentially be “the one”. Here are a few suggestions:

  • Take up a new hobby, attend a workshop or seminar, or volunteer for a cause you believe in. This will introduce you to a diverse range of people, increasing your chances of finding a compatible partner
  • Explore online platforms, forums, or social media groups dedicated to topics or activities you’re passionate about
  • Keep an eye out for local events, festivals, or gatherings that align with your hobbies or values. These events often attract people with common interests, providing a relaxed and enjoyable environment to meet that perfect person

Related Reading: 160 Ultimate What If Questions About Love For Couples

8. Talk to your friends and family

Remember how your mother knew your high school boyfriend would cheat on you and break your heart? Can you recall your best friend telling you how that one guy is oh-so-perfect for you? Honestly, who can help better than the people who love you, know you, and deeply care about you?

If dating and finding the one hasn’t worked out for you so far, go ahead and ask them for tips on the type of person you should date. If you do not feel comfortable opening up to your friends or family about this, look for couples that have healthy long-term relationships. Reach out to them and have an honest conversation. You might end up with some priceless suggestions.

9. Go where people share your interests

How do you actually find the one, you ask? Simply by looking in the right places. The “how to find my soulmate” quest can have you overthinking things or trying too hard to find that perfect person who will just walk into your life and sweep you off your feet. But as we said, when talking about the find the one meaning, the key is to look for someone who’d be perfect for you.

Finding a like-minded person with whom you share interests and passions can be a good starting point in your journey to find the one you can’t live without. After all, what’s better than finding common ground to build an authentic connection on?

Dave (27) from Colorado, who met her partner at a pop-up event, says, “Pay attention to the early signs you’ve met the one. Meeting the love of your life, or meeting the right person often comes with a deep sense of connection and compatibility. So, make sure you’ve got some common interests and hobbies.”

Related Reading: 21 Huge First Date Red Flags You Should Be Wary Of

10. Visit a relationship coach or therapist

Worried that you’ll never find true love? If you’re going through a rough patch, seek guidance from a relationship expert or therapist. They can offer valuable insights and help you understand yourself better, uncovering patterns and exploring your emotions. They can guide you toward finding your compatible life partner.

Derek (35) from Florida tells us, “Maybe you’re tired of not meeting the right person. Or the person you thought was the one didn’t want the same things as you and bolted at the first hint that you’re looking for a serious relationship. So then, how do you know someone is the one? Speaking from experience, I can say that seeking guidance from a relationship coach or counselor can be immensely beneficial in situations like these. They can help you navigate the journey of meeting someone special. Or as in my case, meeting the love of your life!”

11. Prioritize building friendships

“They’ve truly found the one.” Do you ever feel this way when you look at a couple around you? It can be your uncle and aunt, your best friend and her boyfriend, or an old married couple in your neighborhood. Of course, their love stories will be different, but you will notice one common factor — their bond is built on the foundation of a solid friendship.

This is why building friendships is truly important if you want to find the one in a relationship or find the one you can’t live without. Pro tip: When someone feels like a very close friend, makes you laugh even on gloomy days, and helps you share all your secrets without any worry, take a hint! These are early signs you’ve met the one.

Related Reading: You Fall In 3 Types Of Love In Your Life: Theory And Psychology Behind It

12. Try online dating apps

Will I find love on a dating app? Is dating and finding the one even possible? Is it rare to find the one, especially in this age of modern dating? If you have ever wondered this, know that many people have found meaningful relationships through online dating.

Here’s what can help: a cute profile picture (brownie points if it’s with your dog), an authentic profile (no fake universities or travel stories, please), and taking the time to know your potential matches. Now, if you’re ready, here are a few popular online dating apps, especially for serious relationships:

  • eHarmony
  • OkCupid
  • Coffee Meets Bagel
  • EliteSingles
  • Bumble
  • Hinge
  • The League
Dating apps

13. Give blind dates a try

“When I met your mother, I felt like I could breathe again,” Jack Pearson from This is Us tells his children. He met Rebecca on a blind date but didn’t feel a strong connection initially. However, fate had other plans. They ran into each other again later that evening. As they engaged in a deeper conversation, a spark ignited, and they realized there was something special between them.

He recalls after many years, “I was just trying to find a quiet place to read my book, and then I saw you. And I think, when you’re single, and you’re trying to be, you know, “Oh, I don’t need anyone”, there’s always this one person, this one person who just… knocks you out.”

If you’ve recently come out of a long relationship or lost faith in true love or mature relationships, a blind date might be just what you need. It can be as soothing as aloe vera on sunburnt skin — offering a fresh perspective and the possibility of meeting your soulmate. Trust me, blind dates have the potential to surprise you in ways you never imagined!

Key Pointers

  • Take the time to understand your desires, needs, and values, and then reflect on the qualities you seek in a partner. Journal these thoughts or create a vision board that represents your ideal love life
  • If you truly want to find the perfect partner in your life, engage in activities that genuinely interest you as they provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals. You may also step out of your comfort zone and explore new activities to meet more people
  • When you are on a quest to find true love, you can give online dating apps and blind dates a chance
  • Seek compatibility, build strong friendships, trust your intuition along the way and maintain faith that your true love will come around

Remember, the journey of finding the one is filled with self-discovery, personal growth, and exciting possibilities. Of course, it won’t happen in a day, but with these tips in mind, you won’t have to wait forever or lose hope. Enjoy the ride, stay positive, and believe that the best is yet to come. Your perfect match is just out there, waiting to share a remarkable love story with you!

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