The idea of a meaningful relationship holds different connotation for different couples. For some, having an individual circle of friends and enough personal space are the keys to a long and happy relationship. While there are many couples who give each other full access to the inner circle of their thoughts and concerns. If you are in a relationship like that and feel comfortable to share, then this article is for you. Because we might have a bad news to share. While being completely honest with each other is the hallmark of any healthy relationship, experts have found that it’s equally important to hold our tongue on some matters. Because,
A. you aren’t obligated to share everything with your partner if you don’t want to, and
B. it often does more harm to the health of your relationship than just keeping it transparent.
However, this doesn’t intend to mean that you should lie to your partner or hide information that directly affects the relationship (or your partner’s interest). When it comes to the things that really matter, you are ought to be 200% honest with each other. Even if the truth is catastrophic.
Having said that, if you want to know the things that are okay not to share with your partner, then read on.
How you felt about your partner in the beginning (if it wasn’t LAFS)
If you are like the majority of us, then you might not have fallen head over heels in love the first time you met each other. While attraction may come first, love and admiration for each other take time to build. If you weren’t really into your partner in the beginning or didn’t feel attracted right away, there’s no need to share that information, now that two of you are in a relationship. Whilst there is nothing harmful in sharing, it might hurt their feelings. And it, most definitely, will.
Things you think your Ex was better at
Hands down, past relationships are a deal breaker. Yet we all have known people before our partner came into the picture and we all are carrying a fair share of loads from the past. But constantly acknowledging about your past relationships, sharing details of your Ex and particularly, detailed account of your past sexual adventures with your Ex can be devastating for your relationship. It not only fosters jealousy and insecurity in your partner, but it’s also totally unnecessary to tell your partner about the things you had better with your Ex. Unless your past is resurfacing or its relevance to a current issue, that is.
Negative comments about your partner from others
Hurtful comments and unkind opinion about your partner coming from your parents or siblings don’t need to be shared. It does no good to the relationship. The relationship you have with each other is your business and any outside opinion is unnecessary in that space as long as you are happy with each other. There’s no need to make your partner feel bad about what other people think of his insignificant flaws.
Because ultimately, the long-term goal is to foster a happy and honest relationship with each other. But sharing it all, for the sake of being outright honest, is not reasonable. Hold back the deets that are no-good to keep the illusion of mutual admiration alive.Published in