Last week would have been my 8th anniversary had I not broken up with my boyfriend two years ago. Mending a broken heart is like nursing a broken wrist or leg; the pain is real, and it takes time to heal. The breakup healing process is slow for sure. It takes time and demands immense self-control.
But there are always things that can help you along the journey. They can make you feel less lonely and more loved. As you regain your footing after a breakup, simple practices or activities can be the friend you need. Here is a list of things I did or did not do, and I’d list some of them as the best ways to get over a breakup based on my personal experience. I have had only one, but they say the first cut is the deepest. I survived it, and so will you!
Feel free to customize them as per your personality. Recovery can never be a one-size-fits-all event. Most importantly, have faith in yourself and the world… Things aren’t as glum as they seem. It’s time to add a pop of color to your life with these 20 fun things to do after a breakup.
20 Fun Things To Do After A Breakup To Heal Faster
Jonatan Martensson said, “Feelings are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which ones to surf.” Keep this wonderful thought close to your heart as you read ahead. A breakup brings out many, many emotions at once. And while things get overwhelming every now and then, being mindful of your emotional state can make all the difference in the world.
That’s exactly what we’re doing today: shifting focus. After a breakup, our thoughts are centered around the actual event, the failed relationship, and our ex. Healing involves shifting our focus from the aforesaid to ourselves. These happiness-inducing things to do after a breakup will accomplish the mission of self-care. Are you ready? Let’s go.
1. Laugh it off
Laugh at some of the choices you made, including him. You were young, naïve and madly in love when you thought that hairstyle looked nice on him or that tucked-in T-shirt was oh-so-cute. Would you seriously consider falling for someone with that fashion sense now? Probably not. A good roasting session with your friends might lend a fresh perspective.
2. Keep yourself busy and surrounded by friends
Once the grieving period is over and you have cried your heart out, do not stay alone. Loneliness is the stepping stone to depression after a breakup. Force yourself out of bed, make plans with friends, and take up an extra assignment that you would enjoy doing. Do not come back to an empty house early. Catch up with all the friends you ignored during the relationship… Make amends.
Related Reading: Expert Advice On Coping With Feeling Empty After A Breakup
3. Things to do when you break up – Go on a holiday
You may have had all your travel plans with him earlier, but it’s time to get on with life without factoring him in. Travel alone, with friends or with family. If you decide to go solo, travel on a budget, stay at hostels, make new friends, and discover new places. Go for long walks and make memories. You do not need a hand to hold, just a new road to walk on. Traveling by yourself is one of the most fun things to do after a breakup.
4. Get that sexy makeover
A makeover may sound cliché, but trust me, it helps. Do not take any drastic decisions in haste. It took six months and I decided to cut my hair very short. It had nothing to do with my ex, it had to do with me trying to experiment with my look. I always wanted short hair, he liked long. Guess what? What he liked did not matter anymore.
5. Play the field
Please feel free to flirt and interact with all the men you never spoke to because you thought your ex was ‘the one’. He has proven that he definitely was not. Healthy flirting never killed anyone. Enjoy all the attention you are getting. Also, please make sure that everyone who knew you were dating, now knows you are not. *Wink wink*
6. Pamper yourself
Get yourself an appointment at a beauty salon. Spend a day getting a pedicure, manicure, a body massage, and a hair wash. You need this TLC, and what better than a salon for some pampering? These are the blissful things to do when you break up with your ex.
Related Reading: Will I Ever Find Love? 10 Reasons To Be Optimistic
7. Cooking and baking are fun things to do after a breakup
Cooking or baking can be a huge stress buster, provided you like to do it. Bake yourself a chocolate cake or cook a hearty meal. Take these goodies to work and be loved for bringing them. Or just eat them by yourself. Give that weighing scale a break. Experiencing a loss of appetite after a breakup is common. Let’s fix it with this yummy hack, right?
8. Party, anyone?
Buy that sexy party dress or jacket you have been eyeing for weeks. Dress up, put on some makeup, and go partying with your buddies. Sweat it out on the dance floor and chug, chug, chug! And do not feel shy to respond to that cute guy who has been noticing you at the bar.
9. Let it out with karaoke
Scream your lungs out to that empowering Adele song at the karaoke, “Send my love to your new lover, treat her better.” These things to do after a breakup will give you the emotional release you need. That anger and frustration you’ve been feeling? Yeah, let it out. Stamp your feet, put your hands in the air, and break a leg.
10. Rearrange your home
Get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex. Erasing memories after a breakup is not that difficult. Move the lamp, rearrange the sofa, change the curtains, and give those cushion covers a well-deserved break. See? It looks so much better. These little things can be really refreshing.
11. Offer to babysit
Heard you were looking for fun things to do after a breakup. Kids can be wonderful stress-busters. Children have the power of making you forget everything else in the world. If you adore kids, offer to babysit for neighbors, friends or coworkers. Being in that positive atmosphere will be a good change of pace for you. Find happiness again and move on from your ex.
12. Stay in with noodles and chocolates
While it’d be great to hit parties and clubs and flirt around, too much of it may take a toll on you. Once in a while, grab some takeaway, buy your favorite chocolates and ice cream, and binge-eat while watching an entire season of a web series. No matter what everyone says, nothing is as good as your blanket.
13. Take on work challenges
Is there a project that you have been shying away from owing to the time it demands? This is the time to take it up. Grab the opportunity to take on a challenging assignment and give it your best. You might miss your ex but channel your energies in the direction of your career. Focusing on your growth, hustling toward a dream goal, and working super hard are things to do when you break up.
Related Reading: 12 Things Not To Do After A Breakup
14. Volunteer for social causes
An animal shelter, education of underprivileged children, women’s shelter – so many ways to help others while you heal. Volunteering will do wonders for your mental space. It will inculcate a sense of gratitude for what you do have. On the other hand, do you know what to not do after a breakup? Create drama, drunk-dial, wallow in sadness and get back together with the ex.
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15. Netflix and YouTube
What can be better than watching a movie or a series on Netflix with a bowl of popcorn and some beer? And the fact that you are dressed in your comfy pajamas makes the whole thing so cozy! You have no dearth of options when it comes to OTT platforms these days. This one definitely tops the list of fun things to do after a breakup.
16. Make time for hobbies
Spend time at home doing things you love with friends. It can be origami, painting, dancing, singing, or literally anything! I love cooking. Once I came out of my grieving period, I hosted friends for dinner and had lovely conversations over the food I cooked for them. It was such a fulfilling experience after all I had been through. Loving yourself is of the utmost importance after a breakup.
17. Find a friend
Get hold of that one friend who is available 24×7. Every time you get the urge to contact your ex, write a long text or mail and send it to your friend. It’s therapeutic for you (cannot say the same for the friend). But on a serious note, block your ex on social media right away. We don’t want you making poor choices.
18. Complete that home project
Whether it is the lawn that has been screaming for your attention or the walls that were to be painted 3 months ago, check them off your to-do list. Fix stuff that has been hanging loose and you will feel accomplished. Healing begins by getting your life together step by step.
Related Reading: Giving Up On Love? 8 Reasons You Shouldn’t
19. Hit the gym
Keeping fit is very important. If going to a gym is too cumbersome, wake up slightly early and go for a run. The fresh air and sun will take all the gloom away. Your most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Nurture yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
20. Create a new playlist
Listen to new songs. Old songs bring back memories you do not want to revisit. Curate playlists for yourself and explore new artists or genres. Mixing up your musical palate can be one of the most fun things to do after a breakup.
These are only a few of the things I suggest you do. I know a breakup is not easy to handle, but it is only you who can help yourself. Forgive yourself if you do something silly because there is no point in being too harsh on yourself when you are going through something so painful. Laugh at your ‘past’ mistake. Take it one day at a time!
That’s a great question because men and women handle breakups differently. Women should focus on themselves, not revisit past fights and memories, and realize that the relationship has probably ended for good. They should work on building their emotional stability.
Ah, that can be painful. In the case of a serious relationship, seeking professional help is the wisest alternative. A counselor or therapist can help you analyze your situation better. At Bonobology, we have a panel of licensed therapists at your disposal. Healing begins a click away.
In many cases, men tend to suppress their emotions or brush them off. This later manifests as anger. But a mature man will process his feelings, grieve the relationship, take accountability for its failure (if due), and focus his energies on productive things.