If we have to give you online dating advice then we first have to explore how the dating scenario has changed. Dating is not a cute-meet at a café where you both shared a table because of space crunch, and sparks flew, and the story began. Dating, or more importantly finding a date, is a trickier affair in the days of hunched back strangers. Hunched over their phones, human beings do not have time for the friend sitting across the table; forget meeting someone new in real life. Online dating sounds all easy-peasy, right?
How difficult can it be to swipe right or DM that perfect profile? For the many online seekers out there, you know what I mean. It is a great validation to find men and women directly showing interest, and the layers of feeling awkward and iffy stripped off. This should have been smooth. But like any other human interaction, guided or not by binary cells and technology, this is difficult. So here is some online dating advice . Listen up, please.
10 Best Online Dating Advice You Can Find On The Internet
There are some online dating rules or etiquette that you need to follow. Online dating is not like you say whatever you want. No, you have to have online manners and there are some serious do’s and don’ts you need to follow. Our online dating advice for guys is don’t become too pushy, don’t start stalking your date on social media and don’t treat online dating as a precursor to hooking up. Online dating is a serious thing and some people are out there looking for a life partner, so better treat it seriously.
Our online dating advice for girls is beware of fake profiles, and don’t be too gushy and hand over all your co-ordinates to your date. Hold yourself back till you are totally sure and don’t think that every guy online is a potential groom. Women also end up stalking men on social media, so avoid that at all costs.
1. Keep your expectations grounded
Our first online dating tip for success is keep your expectations grounded and don’t take an online profile on face value. Remember that their online profile is their curated version of themselves. It has the best picture, best tagline, best everything because the online or virtual personality is a fiction of sorts, written with a deep desire to be seen in a certain way that cannot happen in reality.
There are hundreds of articles advising you to keep it real, but how many do you think are paying heed when you have an option to look larger than life? So remember that everybody is trying to put their best foot forward, which means you need to keep your hopes and expectations grounded when you try to test your online dating story in reality (like meeting them in person).
2. Don’t keep your profile photo less
Okay, I understand that you believe you do not choose people to hang out with at face value, so you refuse to put a face on that dating app. But believe me, your noble ideals will be misread as probable creep or axe murderer. There is nothing as scary as the possibility of meeting someone who is not ready to show his or her face on a social or dating platform.
And by picture, I do not mean a single peek at your beautiful self, but enough to make the seeker believe that you are not a bot!
Yes, the new scary monster in the hood is the bot or virtually generated profiles that do not have a human face behind it. So buddy, put up a couple of pictures out there to help your future date find you. Our online dating advice is to have a nice photo but not a Photoshopped one.
Related reading: What Is Texting Anxiety And How To Rein It In?
3. In LDR keep a schedule
Often, long-distance relationships become an online dating fiasco, as the only way to keep up is through virtual communication. How does one keep it real? Try to remember that both of you run on different schedules. Be empathetic towards each other’s time and value your workspace. Every time you have a chance to speak, try to decide on your next Facetime chat or Skype call so that you can keep your schedule clear.
It is lovely to drop a text whenever you have breathing space, but do not, sweet lord I repeat do not, crib over a late or lack of reply. Our online dating advice to guys and girls is please don’t fight over a late text. One must remember the gaps left by online communication. The phone, unlike human behaviour, is not a natural organ we are born with, remember that and cut yourself and your partner a generous amount of slack.
4. Do not send intimate photos
Women unfortunately will relate to this more than men, but the only one to be blamed for that is the heteronormative society. A happy ‘hi hello’ and a nice shuttling of good vibes do not validate a picture of your junk, my boy. Stop doing it! Unless it is a mutually agreed-upon move, do not surprise her with your genital photography, it is uncalled for, and you must recognise the abusive mentality.
For women out there, the same advice. If you both have not spoken about it, do not do it. You never know when a cyber lawsuit will be ringing your doorbell.
5. Learn to accept rejection gracefully
Be it a rejection, breakup or a cold shoulder; it is easier served in real life than the unfavourable online environment of easy access. Maybe you went out on a date with him, perhaps you spoke to her for a while but realised that things are not as much in sync as you were expecting them to be and you said no. But na mein haan has been the devil’s thought giving birth to stalking. All of you out there who cannot take a rejection, please understand that just because you have access to a dozen other platforms to reach out to your fixation does not mean you will avail them. Of course, blocking is a simple erasing method, but when put on repeat mode can be very unnecessary and tiring. So please understand when someone says ‘thank you, no thank you’, all you do is bow out.
What are your thoughts on the matter? Let me know in the comments section below.
6. Don’t keep harping on the ex
Our most important online dating advice is don’t keep pestering your date to find out about their past relationships. This is the biggest turn off in any relationship that is taking off. We live in the modern era where new-age relationships rule, your online date could have had any kind of past relationship but that’s not really your concern unless it’s effecting your present.
Sometimes ignorance is bliss. And in case of your date if they want to know all details of your past relationships you will also not like it. Will you?
7. Don’t contact too much
You met your date online. Fine. You liked them. Fine. You exchanged numbers. Fine. Now don’t start texting 10 times a day and don’t start tagging them to your every tweet. No you might not have anything witty to say to their Instagram post so don’t force yourself.
If you want successful online dating tips from us then we would say show interest but stay away. Don’t be clingy. That really sucks.
8. Don’t force yourself into online dating
Let’s face it. Not everyone enjoys the online dating experience. They often feel stuck in a situation where they keep looking at profiles online and meeting people online but they are just not interested to take it any further. The moment you have feelings like this just quit. This would be our most valuable online dating advice. The truth is online dating is not for everyone.
9. Don’t jump at every profile
Every profile you see could be appealing to you and you might find their bio really attractive but don’t jump at every profile thinking this person is the one. This will leave you jumpy, anxious and overwhelmed.
Browse carefully and make your choice well. If five people ask you out you don’t have to go out with all to understand who’s the best.
We develop tendencies at benching dating and fishing dating and this could be an outcome of inability to decide on one person on online dating and constantly keeping your options open. Just avoid a scenario like that.
10. Be prepared to face Ghosting
You could meet someone online and then after you meet them in person you could have the best time of your life. After two dates just when you could be looking forward to meeting them more often you could be ghosted. You could never set your eyes on the person again. Ghosting is a downside of online dating, a reality, no matter how hard you try, you will not be able to avoid.
So don’t ever put the blame on yourself and sink in self pity. Ghosting is part of online dating, accept and move on.
What are your thoughts on the matter? Let me know in the comments section below.