There is no denying the fact that rejection hurts. But have you ever noticed how some people give up on life after being turned down, while some bounce back strongly after facing a rejection? Rejection stings everyone the same way, and it is how you choose to respond to it that decides how your life will be shaped.
8 ways to deal with rejection in love
To overcome rejection in love, or for that matter in everything, we give you 8 ways to cope, and come out a stronger, better person.
1. Acknowledge your feelings
Life is not always fair, and it may hurt at times. Remember, it is okay to feel embarrassed, low, depressed and disappointed. These feelings are natural after a rejection, and you need to acknowledge them, not supress them. Strong people face life and its problems head-on – this is essentially the best way to deal with uncomfortable situations life throws at you. Being rejected by a potential romantic partner or rejected for a date will be a difficult situation, and you should cope with the discomfort with confidence in a healthy manner.
Do not dismiss your feelings with ‘Ah! It was no big deal!’ because inside you know that it is affecting you and you need to acknowledge it. Feeling hurt or let down is not a sign of weakness. You have to face and deal with rejection, and come out a winner.
2. Talk it out with a person you feel close to
You are upset about being rejected. You want to share your feelings and shout and scream and even mouth a few cuss words. Wait. Instead, just have a healthy talk with someone who is really close to you and who can show you the other side of the coin as well. A close friend can help you sort out your feelings and even put a limit on your brooding period.
However, talking of sharing, do not go venting your feelings on social media. You will only come across as a whining, dramatic adult who cannot handle life as it comes. The Internet never forgets anything, so never go online with your problems, no matter how upset you are.
3. Accept it early on – give yourself time to grieve
It is all right to spend a day or two crying over tubs of ice cream and binge watching a sad series on Netflix. Give yourself time to process the rejection. It is all right to be upset about being rejected, and it is wise to allow yourself some time to brood over it. Do something that relaxes your mind – a long walk, cooking or simply watching television.
Just make sure you don’t go overboard with your period of grieving. Set a time, like 2 days or so, and grieve as much as you’d like during these days. After that, be strong and rise up.
4. Don’t take the rejection as a reflection of you
No matter what, never feel that rejection defines you or is a reflection of you. If a date has stood you up, there could be a hundred reasons – not that you aren’t good enough. If your love interest says something mean, do not let that define you. One person’s opinion does not hold true. Concluding that you are unworthy of being loved if you have been rejected by a potential partner does not really make any sense. Do not let self-harming thoughts engulf your mind just because someone does not show love interest in you.
Avoid making sweeping generalisations and keep rejection in the proper perspective.
5. Get your mind off the subject
Distraction works not only for kids, but adults as well. You may be feeling gloomy and depressed after being rejected by someone, but there would still be something that can make you smile right away. You could try helping someone in need, and this will make you understand that there are a lot of other people who are dealing with situations worse than yours. Play with your pet, ask about the well-being of your near and dear, and soon you will realise that you are not the centre of the universe.
Your disappointment in getting rejected by a love interest is not as devastating as you think it is. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, make yourself useful for others.
6. Don’t take it personally
Rejection is very much a part of our life; we reject people, things and opinions on a daily basis. The same happens to you, me and everyone else. But when we get rejected by someone we are in love with, we find it agonising and it stings us deeply. This happens because to some degree we feel attachment towards that person. We tend to blame ourselves for the rejection and feel that there must be something wrong with us. One may even feel inadequate to have been dismissed by a love interest.
Don’t take rejection too hard; there could be many other reasons beyond what you do and who you are that your love interest does not feel the same way about you.
7. Be kind to yourself
Rejection can sure be a bitter pill to swallow, and you may feel tempted to wallow in self-pity and despair for a good time. While there is nothing bad in taking some time to grieve, eventually, you need to face the world with dignity and pride. Do not beat yourself up if someone’s idea of a perfect partner does not fit you in, it is a personal choice and you cannot do anything to change it. Be kind to yourself, pamper yourself, do something that you enjoy thoroughly and makes you feel good about yourself.
Indulge in something that makes you feel happy and joyous, instead of holding on to negativity.
8. Learn from your experience
Any rejection brings with it a stinging pain, plus an opportunity to learn about yourself and grow stronger and better. Rejection lets you know about what you are not very good at, and what needs improvement. If someone rejected you because you appeared too clingy, make it a point to learn from it and ditch the habit of suffocating your partner. Rejection can be a good teacher, as it gives one an opportunity to become a better person and move forward in life with greater confidence and wisdom.
If you are interested in someone but he or she tells you that he or she does not see you that way, you really can’t do much about it. It is not worth pursuing someone who is not interested in you for reasons more than one, and it will do you more good if you are able to move on with your life and look for another partner for a fulfilling relationship.