When you got married, it’s likely you thought it would be a happily-ever-after where you would love each other forever and be fiercely and completely loyal to your marriage no matter what. Unfortunately, even the most loving marriages can falter and one or both partners can end up straying and having an affair. As a wife, it’s a painful and confusing reality to face when you realize you’re not the only woman in your husband’s life. Before you know it, your life revolves around wondering how to make the other woman go away, or even how to make him forget the other woman.
It’s never easy figuring out how to stop another woman from stealing your man. You might be consumed by thoughts of extreme revenge, messy scenarios of confronting the other woman, and even ways to make the other woman suffer. You’re emotional and full of righteous anger against your husband and the other woman. Now, you’re entitled to these feelings and we don’t want to disregard that. But for a better life overall, there are ways to make the other woman go away and keep your dignity intact, too. If you are serious about bringing your marriage back on track and getting your husband back from the other person he is romancing, you are going to want to read below.
9 Tried And Tested Tips To Make The Other Woman Go Away On Her Own
How to make him forget the other woman? Let’s begin by stating the obvious yet painful fact: there’s no point wishing away your partner’s affair or the other woman’s presence in your life. There is only so much you can do to get your husband to leave the other woman. That will only happen if your spouse is truly willing to give up on the other woman in his life and end the affair. So the real solution to ‘how to make the other woman go away’ actually lies in your husband’s hands and you can only try whatever is possible, from your own end.
If you’re convinced that your spouse wants to make amends and you can forgive your partner and you both want to make your marriage work, you’ll need to take proactive steps to figure out what to do when another woman is after your man. Salvaging a relationship from this crucial junction is doable, but not easy.
We’ve rounded up some tips to make the other woman go away on her own, without burning down your marriage or getting into a confrontation that gets ugly. Hopefully, these tips help you to acknowledge your partner’s infidelity and also help you to figure out how to make him forget the other woman.
1. Be honest about your feelings
What to do when another woman is after your man and you realize that your husband has been cheating on you? When you first find out about a partner cheating on you, the first response is overwhelming anger, pain, and disbelief that comes naturally. The second is possibly a cold denial that such a thing is possible, a choking down of your feelings. This second step can actually prove to be disastrous. Don’t do it, do not lie to yourself. Acknowledge that this is an emotional punch to the gut and there’s no need to pretend you’re not affected.
Have a heart-to-heart with your partner at some point. You may not be up for it right away, but don’t wait for him to tell you, or hope that things will resolve themselves. You cannot win your husband back from the other woman by simply ignoring the elephant in the room and wishfully thinking that all will be well in your marital paradise once the affair runs its course. It is possible, of course, that the affair will fizzle out on its own, but your feelings are still valid. Be open about how much this is hurting you and how furious it’s making you. Being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak here, it’s you saying that your feelings matter.
“My husband Ryan was seeing another woman and indulging in an extramarital affair, and I knew about it,” says Zoe. “Initially, I didn’t want to talk to him about it, didn’t even want to acknowledge that it was real. I went on like before, as though nothing was wrong. And it was killing me on the inside. Eventually, I had to confront him and tell him what this was doing to me and that I wouldn’t stand by silently and take it!”
2. How to win your husband back from the other woman? Do not be his emotional vessel
A conversation with your cheating spouse is imperative in such a case, but you do not need to become a willing vessel for his emotional outpourings or act like his confidante in this situation. It’s possible that when confronted, he will become defensive or start reeling off a list of reasons why he’s having an affair, become angry, or even cry about all that’s going wrong in his life that drove him to take this step. He might even blame-shift and say it’s your fault that you haven’t been giving him what he needs, completely turning the tables on you and trying to make you feel guilty. But you’re better than that, and you will not get lost in this web of lies.
Repeat after us: You don’t need to take this. Your partner is in the wrong here, and while you could hear him out if you want to, you don’t need to become a receptacle for his assurances or anger or profound declarations of love and loyalty to you. The answer to how to make him forget the other woman is not by letting him walk all over you or invalidate your emotions.
You get to have your say, and then leave. Until he has actively ended the affair and is putting effort into repairing your relationship, you don’t owe him the gift of listening. What to do when another woman is after your man? Get your feelings out there and then let him stew in them. Let him process what you’ve said and then figure out how he wants to handle it. The ball is squarely in his court – leave it there!
Related Reading: The 3 Types Of Men Who Have Affairs, And How To Recognize Them
3. Be the partner, be yourself
“I’d seen photographs of the other woman my husband was seeing,” says Nichole. “She was very athletic – there were pictures of her at several marathons, surfing, hiking – she always seemed to be on the move.
“I, on the other hand, am a couch potato and I love it. But I knew my husband was seeing this woman and it made me feel inadequate, especially in comparison to her. I decided I should become a little like her and then maybe he would come back to me. Of course, all it did was make me miserable, because it’s not who I am at all!”
When wondering how to stop another woman from stealing your man, your mind will often go straight to “let me become like her, that’s obviously what he wants”. There is no guarantee that this will help you win your husband back from the other woman. If you’re serious about understanding ‘how to make him forget the other woman?’, then being her is not going to help. In the process, you’d actually be giving all your power away. Remember who you are and be that person for him, no matter what. You are his partner, the one he shares living space with, the person he fell in love with.
Don’t sacrifice your authenticity on your quest of how to make him forget the other woman. You were enough for him when you chose each other as life partners, and you’re still enough. Even if you’re all set to forgive him and save your marriage, it’s not your problem if he can’t love you for who you are. Remind him of exactly who you are and why he fell in love with you.
4. How to make the other woman go away? Mend your relationship with your husband
While you’re furiously contemplating the thought that, “Another woman is pursuing my husband” or “The other woman keeps contacting my husband and I feel helpless”, then do this immediately. Give thought to your relationship with your partner. Have there been too many date nights postponed, nights where you meant to stay awake for him but fell asleep instead? Or maybe you’ve been fighting more lately, but you can’t even remember what it was all about.
Let’s be very clear: There’s no good excuse for cheating on your spouse or partner. No amount of missed date nights or forgotten scheduled sex nights give either partner the right to betray the other. But, it’s possible there are cracks in your relationship that the other woman is just one symptom of. So, perhaps, instead of focusing all your energies on figuring out ways to make the other woman suffer, direct them toward what you can do to make your relationship more wholesome and fulfilling.
How to win your husband back from the other woman will take a lot of introspection from your side. Introspect as to what your relationship has been like of late. Ask yourself if it’s going the way you both want it to, or if both of you have let your love fall by the wayside as you build a life and chase other dreams. Maybe your partner straying and the presence of the other woman is symptomatic of deeper issues in your relationship that you need to assess again. Mending your relationship needs to be something both of you invest in, so in no way are you letting your partner off the hook! Be sure you’re holding them accountable as far as possible, during this process.
Related Reading: 8 Ways To Fix A Broken Relationship With Your Boyfriend
5. Confronting her correctly instead of finding sneaky ways to get back at the other woman
Confronting the other woman is a minefield you need to navigate with great care when figuring out how to make the other woman go away and leave your marriage for good. Firstly, and perhaps most importantly, acknowledge that she’s a person, not just an archetype of the evil femme fatale out to steal your man. I mean, she could be that, but that’s not all she is. So don’t go into the encounter planning how to get revenge on the other woman.
While you’re still wondering, “Is it a good idea to confront the other woman?”, be sure that it’s her. Ensure you have some kind of proof, else you could wind up accusing a perfect stranger of being your husband’s mistress. Be sure you’re confronting her for the right reasons. If it’s just to get revenge or to give her a dressing down or moral lecture or to tell a woman to stay away from your husband, don’t do it. It hurts no one but you and you end up looking like the proverbial woman scorned.
If you are confronting her and thinking about ‘how to stop the other woman from contacting my husband’ then be firm and dignified in your approach when speaking with her. Keep your emotional outbursts for yourself and your spouse. Tell her directly that you know what’s going on and that it needs to stop immediately. Don’t threaten her even if you’ve done your research on legal ways to get revenge on the other woman and are well aware of your options. But let her know you’re serious and that you’re willing to fight to save your relationship. Don’t think of sneaky ways to get back at the other woman, and instead try to be as rational and level-headed as you can be.
There’s no list on how to tell a girl to back off your man nicely. In fact, you’re probably worried about being too nice or seeming like a pushover during it all. Ultimately, be kind to yourself and preserve your own peace of mind. Self-love is where it’s at! If you think confronting the other woman is going to mess up with your headspace, maybe put it off for now (or entirely).
6. Be decisive
This is where you need to put your lizard brain on hold for a bit and think hard about how you want to handle your partner’s cheating and the other woman. How to make him forget the other woman is a complex puzzle to solve and you need to figure out just how you hope to do it. Do you want to confront the other woman, or just stalk her a bit online? Are you still consumed by thoughts of how to get revenge on the other woman? Do you want to talk to your partner first? Are you in the right frame of mind to handle either or both of these conversations?
Related Reading: He Loves Me So Why Does He Have Sex With The Other Woman
You’re not going to be able to handle much if you’re still in two minds about what you want to do. Make your decisions and stand firm on them. This is a painful situation no matter what you decide to do and you need to be as clear as possible in your own mind. Yes, there will probably still be hugely negative feelings and confusion, but hopefully being decisive means you’ll have a better idea of how to go about things.
How to make the other woman go away and leave your life for good? To get your husband to leave the other woman, you need to be absolutely sure about what you want and where you see the relationship going from here? Can you forgive your cheating partner and start afresh? If so, it makes sense to make efforts to win your husband back from the other woman. But if you’re uncertain that you cannot get past this setback, then the question of how to make him forget the other woman is moot.
7. Have patience
Honestly, this sounds ridiculous – how are you supposed to keep patience when your entire relationship, maybe your entire personal life is falling down around your ears! The deal is, like almost everything else that’s important, a relationship in crisis, an affair, the other woman, needs patience before they are resolved.
Don’t expect the affair to stop overnight or your partner to come back to you awash in apology immediately. Even if they do, the betrayal will have left you shattered and with major trust issues. It will take a while to rebuild that trust. You could still be wondering if you want to confront the other woman, or if you’ve already confronted her, you could be thinking about revenge or wondering what she thought of you.
These thoughts will remain for a while; in fact, they might remain at the back of your mind forever. Be patient with yourself, try and be patient with the whole situation. If you’re certain it’s worth it, and you’re fighting to save your marriage or relationship, then know that it’s going to take some time.
8. See the affair for what it is
What to do when another woman is after your man? See the affair for what it really is. An affair is just that, an affair. Yes, it has wrecked your trust, yes your relationship has a fault line it might not fully recover from. But if you can manage a little perspective, it becomes easier to decide how you want to handle the affair and the other woman involved.
You have your place in your partner’s life, you have created a relationship with them, and while you clearly have things to work on, remind yourself that an affair doesn’t have to mean the end of everything you’ve built. Most importantly, no matter what happens with the other woman or in your relationship, the affair cannot and should not take away your sense of self. Even though you’re preoccupied with thoughts such as “how to stop the other woman from contacting my husband” or “how to win your husband back from the other woman”, do not get swept away in this process and lose yourself.
The other woman is not about to replace you and the extramarital affair your partner is having is not going to define you. When the thoughts of how to make him forget the other woman or what to do to make the other woman suffer consume you, remind yourself that she is just a chapter in the story of your life. Don’t let her define your entire existence from here on.
9. Do not blame yourself
“The other woman keeps contacting my husband as his phone is always flashing around me. Lately, I’ve also noticed that he’s been spending more time at work and I’m convinced he’s out somewhere with her. It has been tough to come around to the fact that my husband is cheating on me and I can’t help but think it’s my fault. Maybe if I was better in bed, was funnier or just a better wife overall, he would have not gone out looking for someone else”, says Naomi, an art director based in D.C.
We cannot stress this enough for Naomi and for you. The other woman is not your fault, your partner’s affair is not because you did something wrong. Sure, there are always things to work on in a relationship, and there’s no harm in working on yourself either.
But don’t blame yourself, or sit around thinking that if you’d been different, maybe the affair wouldn’t have happened. There are ways to make the other woman go away on her own, you don’t need to take on blame or self-hate for that to happen.
Playing the blame game isn’t healthy for any relationship, but let’s face it, the partner who cheated needs to shoulder the responsibility for what they did. That said, however, if you decide to tackle the other woman and want to figure out how to make the other woman go away, then remind yourself that none of this is your fault. And it’s not your responsibility to protect your husband from the other woman. He is an adult perfectly capable of making his choices and bearing their repercussions. No matter what the circumstances of your marriage, cheating is always a choice, and it is not on you.
Affairs can break a relationship, but they can also be the wake-up call that makes you realize the relationship is worth fighting for. There are always ways and means telling you how to make the other woman go away, but ultimately, it’s all about how much you want to save your marriage and your own sense of dignity and self-worth.
If you think you need to talk to the other woman face to face and that it’ll help you handle things more clearly, you can confront her. But make sure you have your facts in place before you go accusing her of anything and don’t confront her if all you want is revenge or to deliver a lecture on the evils of infidelity.
Be clear in what you say. Don’t issue threats or get overly emotional with the other woman, just say what you need to say clearly and firmly. Let her know you mean business and that you’re going to fight for your relationship.
Acknowledge your feelings, and have a heart-to-heart with your partner without letting them off the hook. Let them know you won’t stand for what they’re doing. Be decisive in your own mind and don’t blame yourself for any of it. If needed, confront the other woman for a conversation.
Don’t change a thing about your most basic self. Continue to be the woman that you are. What you can change though, is how your marriage is going. Maybe you two should start spending more time together and maybe you should consider taking more initiative in the relationship. Once he sees why he fell in love with you first, he will choose you over her, any day.