You’ve just got home after a first date. You relax on the couch with a glass of wine and call up your best friend. You share every minute detail of how the date went. And all your best friend asks in the end is, “But, how was the chemistry?” Dating chemistry can be the clincher in getting a new romance off the ground.
So, what is dating chemistry, and how do you identify the signs? How do you build chemistry with someone? I know, it may seem like something super mysterious and complicated to figure out. But the truth is, it’s actually easy-peasy. Why? We’ll tell you that in this article and make sure you’re ready for a relationship that has chemistry, joy, clarity, and excitement!
What Is Dating Chemistry?
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Dating chemistry is the connection between two people. It can be physical, emotional, or a combination of both. It is that natural spark that brings joy and excitement at the start of a relationship, which makes you want to spend more time with a romantic interest and gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling of falling in love.
A Reddit user says, “When you have chemistry, things just flow. You’re not constantly asking if something’s okay, you don’t have to add a “just kidding” at the end of a joke, conversations don’t have those awkward patches where you feel obligated to restart it, and neither person ever feels uncomfortable.”
Now, is chemistry important in a relationship? In a word, yes (if you want to build a joyful and passionate relationship). If you’re wondering why, here are a few reasons:
- Relationship chemistry creates a loop of positive feelings that make you feel happier
- If you are in a relationship with a person who seems perfect but your bond lacks chemistry, you’ll feel no spark and be bored after the honeymoon phase is over
- If you have amazing interpersonal chemistry, you will naturally find the desire and motivation to date them further to understand if you are compatible long-term
- Relationship chemistry allows you to enjoy daily mundane tasks (such as cleaning the cupboard, paying bills, and buying groceries) as long as you are spending time with your loved one
Related Reading: 13 Strong Signs Of Chemistry On A First Date
8 Signs You Have Dating Chemistry With Someone
Think about your favorite couple for a second. Maybe it’s Monica and Chandler. Or that old couple who lives in your neighborhood. You’ll notice that their honeymoon phase (or what is called the limerence period) was filled with intense chemistry. And that’s natural, right? But over time, although their chemistry appears differently, it never fades. It’s still there – lighting up the room when they walk in or smile at each other. Now, what are early signs that you have such chemistry with someone? How can you build chemistry when dating? Wondering if you and your special one have that kind of chemistry? Let’s find out!
1. There’s a warm, fuzzy comfort in your relationship
On the first few dates, you’re usually on your best behavior. However, if the romantic chemistry is intense, you feel like you’re just talking to a close friend. Your conversations feel easy and flow naturally.
You can talk to this person freely about any topic. You feel that they really get you. Such an emotional connection leads to a successful relationship. On the other hand, if you’re dating without chemistry, you keep worrying, “Oh my God, is s/he judging me? I’ve said too much.” Or you keep clarifying, “I’m just kidding, you know.”
2. You crave intimacy with them
If you feel a strong sexual attraction toward your boo, your chemistry is more likely to get intense. And how can it not, when all you can think of is locking them into a passionate kiss and more? Sexual compatiblity or sexual chemistry in a relationship is super important, and here’s a list of telltale signs you’ve got it with your bae:
- You can’t keep your hands off each other, and you know it’s not just because of physical appearance
- Your body responds in certain ways – you’re hyper-aware of their touch and you get an electrifying rush from touching them
- You find excuses to hold their hand, playfully touch them in the middle of a conversation, or caress their cheeks
- You feel safe and comfortable when you’re physically intimate with each other
3. Body language gives away love signals
Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 Communication model states:
- 7% of the meaning of our feelings and behavior is conveyed through the words we use in verbal communication
- 38% of the meaning is expressed through the tone of our voiceThe remaining
- 55% is conveyed through our non-verbal gestures, particularly our facial expressions
Dating but no chemistry? Try this simple trick: pay attention to your partner’s body language signs. Here are a few things to notice to pick up hints of chemistry in a relationship:
- Taking deep breaths
- Unconsciously mimicking each other
- Leaning toward each other
- Flushed cheeks
- Licking their lips
- Playing with their hair
- Prolonged eye contact (notice if their pupils dilate)
- Sweaty palms
- Subconsciously touching each other
Related Reading: 25 Body Language Signs A Man Is In Love With You
4. Flirting is (almost) never off the table
When you and your special someone have intense romantic chemistry, you’re likely to flirt a lot. Whether you’re at the gym, getting coffee, or out for a walk, you’ll feel the flirty sparks all around. And if your partner has a sense of humor while they flirt, you’ll see why it’s the icing on the cake. So here are a few flirting signs to notice (use them as flirting tips if you’re dating without chemistry):
- You send each other flirty texts Your hugs are long, warm, and passionate
- Your partner lets you catch them checking you out
- You touch each other during a conversation
- You play with each other’s items of clothing, such as a scarf around their neck
- You often squeeze their hands, rub their back or give them a quick peck in a crowded area – and vice versa
- You playfully annoy and tease each other
5. Time flies when you’re with them
Imagine you were supposed to have a quick date over a cup of coffee. “Ten minutes at max,” you tell yourself. Three hours pass by and you’re still with them, talking, giggling. You’ve got so many stories to tell this person, so many jokes to crack and so many plans to discuss. And you know what’s the best part? When you are not talking, the silence does not feel awkward at all. You still enjoy each other’s company in this comfortable silence.
6. You’ve got some mutual interests
Of course, the law of attraction is important for dating chemistry between two people. But, that’s not all. Simple things like learning new languages, gardening, or trying out new cuisines can be a great way to bond and build chemistry when dating. Such mutual interests and shared goals help you spend quality time with the person you’re romantically interested in and looking to build a lasting connection with.
Dating but no chemistry? Here are a few handy tips that promote bonding:
- Play some intellectually stimulating couple games (like Kiss Scrabble), challenge each other, and have fun
- Try a new activity together
- Make a list of some interesting hobbies for couples and try out the ones that interest you both
Related Reading: 55 Hobbies For Couples To Feel Closer And Strengthen Their Bond
7. You can’t stop the lovey-dovey smiling
When you think about a couple with great chemistry in their relationship, what do you imagine? Not a grumpy sad couple, getting tired of the same arguments, right? In all probability, you’re thinking about a couple who smile at each other or laugh their hearts out.
This is why it’s said that laughter is the best medicine. And it turns out, laughter is also a great medicine for dating chemistry! According to a study published in the journal Personal Relationships, sharing a few giggles with a romantic partner can keep the spark alive. So, the next time you’re giggling at their jokes (yes, even the dad jokes) or you can’t stop smiling around them, take a hint!
8. You always desire to be around them
If you’re in a crowded place, say a supermarket or a Taylor Swift concert, you try to stay close to each other. And when you do that, you feel so many butterflies in your stomach. But the moment you have to part, it breaks your heart. You want to hold on for just two minutes (and two more minutes again and again). You start counting the days when you’ll meet each other.
I know that if you’re in a long-distance relationship and reading this, you can relate big time. But such a strong desire to stay together shows your intense dating chemistry. Pro tip: Zoom date ideas can allow you to be with your partner and build chemistry even from miles away.
- If you feel an instant attraction or that ‘spark’ with your partner, it is a sign of great dating chemistry
- Intense eye contact and sexual pleasure can boost physical chemistry in relationships
- If you want to build chemistry in a relationship, have vulnerable conversations, flirt a little, and explore shared interests together
Do you see these signs in your bond with your partner (or the special someone you’ve been thinking of)? If yes, you’re poised to build a relationship where the spark dying down may well be the last thing you have to worry about. Whether the romantic chemistry kicks off on the first date itself, or you discover it over time, we hope it gives you the happiest and most fulfilling relationship.
Chemistry with someone is quite rare; therefore, it helps when you know the signs. Having real chemistry over text messages is also possible. Whether you feel the spark on a first date or through online texts, it is rare to experience this authentic connection.
Typically, strong chemistry can be sensed by both people in a romantic connection. However, in some cases, it is absolutely possible for one person to feel like they have chemistry with someone. The other person may take some time to feel the relationship chemistry or they may not reciprocate at all.
Dating chemistry is real but doesn’t guarantee a real relationship or healthy romantic love. Of course, someone can show you all the signs of natural chemistry. Sometimes, it can certainly lead to a successful long-term relationship. However, before you make a huge decision solely based on chemistry, try to understand if there is a good connection, mutual respect, and red/green flags. And most importantly, notice if you both have relationship compatibility as well.