“Do you love me?” If your man can answer this without flinching, either he is a great liar or he is telling the truth. Wish all cases were that easy to crack open? Sometimes it’s not that easy to tell if your man is after you ‘cause his heart is gushing with love for you or he just wants to get into your pants. These signs might be a way out of your dilemma and will educate you on whether he loves you or just lusts for you.
How do you know that it’s not just lust for him?
In this era of Tinder dates and casual hookups, it has become increasingly difficult to understand a person’s intentions, especially when it comes to a prospective long-lasting relationship. How often have you heard men plan out a course of action for a Tinder date? Movies, music and literature, all have educated men enough on how to woo a woman. But the question remains: does he make her fall in love with him just to get inside her pants? Are there tell-tale signs to figuring out this mystery? We sure think so!
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10 Signs To Know If He Loves You Or Lusts You
While in today’s day and age, most people getting into serious or even casual relationships try to make their intentions clear beforehand itself. However, not everyone is this transparent. Sometimes, the guy might just pretend to be serious because he knows that’s the only way he can woo you into bed.
If you head is in a tizzy trying to figure out his intentions, read on to get a better picture!
1. His availability on your bad days
You might have had a bad day at work and prefer to stay indoors in pyjamas and no makeup on and he brings you your favourite cold coffee with a shot of espresso and caramel? Then he doesn’t just lust after you.
He is there even when there is no guarantee of sex. He doesn’t say, “I’ll leave you alone till you are in a better mood”. Instead, he puts in an effort to cheer you up. Or he just listens to you rant.
You might say you’ve had men put on a pretence so that they have a shot at getting laid later but most men who are lusting after you won’t even have the patience to do that.
2. Does he talk to you about his family?
This is a known fact. If the man loves you and wants you in his life, he will tend to be more open than “I once had sex in a moving train”.
Including family in conversations and including you in his discussions with his family, means he loves you. You are aware of his grandma’s Alzheimer’s and his second cousin’s wedding feud. And for the best cases, you might also have his sibling’s number saved in your phone as the emergency contact for him.
However, if a man simply lusts for you, he will steer clear of the family topic altogether. So if you find yourself wondering “does he love me or does he just lust for me?”- this should give you your answer.
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3. How your evening is planned out
If you want to know if he loves you or lusts you, think about the way he makes plans with you. When you have plans on meeting up with your man does he say “Anywhere is fine” or “We can go back to my place after dinner”? Then he is lusting after you, woman!
A man who is not after you only for sex will concentrate more on how the evening is spent rather than focussing on the endgame.
4. Talks about the future
Is he eager to plan the weekend with you, or plan something that’s a year away? Then it is a sure sign that he wants to stick around with you regardless of the sex. He uses ‘we’ instead of ‘I’. When he RSVPs you as his Plus 1 and introduces you to his family and friends at the party, he loves you. You feel like you are a part of his future planning.
However, if he’s uncertain about planning the next weekend with you then it is one of the signs he is lusting after you.
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5. After sex romance
Does he do his deed and turn over to sleep? Does he not seem too keen to spend the night or stay for breakfast? This is one of the signs he is lusting after you. The ‘get in-get out’ is definitely not an indication of love.
When your man loves you there will be cuddling or at least a forehead kiss. He will know your turn-on spots as well as your tickle spots. There will be pillow talk after sex and you don’t have to lie beside him wondering if it’s only sex he is after.
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6. The way you fight
Does he listen to you when you are having an argument or just yell his lungs out at you? Does he make an effort to resolve a fight or just walks away and tells you to let him know when you are done being pissed? If you want to know his intentions read the difference between “I am sorry you feel this way but hear me out please” or “let’s not do this please”?
If your man is always doing the latter, he is just in this for the sex. He doesn’t want any emotional or mental confrontation. He tries to dodge fights and avoids anything serious. This answers you question ‘does he love or lust me?’
The man who loves you will resolve a fight as he doesn’t want you to be vexed or worried, not because he wants sex at the end of the argument.
7. Let his eyes do the talking
In the legendary words of Scarface, “The eyes cico. They never lie”
If you want to know whether a man loves you or lusts you, focus on his eyes. Does he look at you with tenderness in his eyes? His stare is so gentle and loving it’s almost as if he thinks he’ll break you.
Or does he look at you with only desire in his eyes? You know the look. Like he’s almost undressing you only with his eyes.
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8. How much time is he willing to devote to you?
You’ll know whether he loves you or lusts you based on how much time he’s willing to give you. Is he always in a hurry, just looking to make excuses to leave? Or does he genuinely like spending time with you?
A man who loves you won’t mind taking out time for you and spending the day with you. In fact, he might make more and more plans that involve spending maximum time with you. Whereas, a man who only wants to get into your pants will either look for excuses to leave immediately after. Or before if he sees no signs of getting intimate with you.
9. Look for signs of jealousy
If you’re thinking “does he have feelings for me or just lusts for me?”, try this simple trick. Tell your man about a fictional man you’ve been spending a lot of time with and getting close to. Try to analyse his reaction. If he seems a little uncomfortable discussing this topic and you can sense hints of jealousy in his voice, then he might be in love with you. On the other hand, a man who just lusts after you will not show these signs of jealousy.
10. Does he open up in front of you?
A man in love with you will open up in front of you. He will share his dreams and desires with you and talk to you about his feelings. This is because he’s not just looking to you for physical intimacy but emotional intimacy too. However, when a man only lusts for you, he does not crave emotional intimacy from you.
At the end of the day, to know if a man loves you or lusts for you, follow your guts. Chances are these signs reciprocate the way you feel about your man in your guts and mind.