Arjun Kapoor and Malaika Arora made their relationship official recently. The stigma associated with older woman younger man relationships hardly has any weightage in today’s world. One study has found that age difference does not matter to the couples as much as it matters to other people outside the relationship1. Remember the huge number of memes and opinions that floated across the country about how long Priyanka Chopra’s marriage with Nick Jonas last? Remember the stories around Sunil Dutt and Nargis?
While we do not bat an eyelid when a man dates someone half his age, the other way round makes her tongues go wild. ‘He’s young, she’s old, let’s see how long it will last?’ ‘What does she see in her?’ One of the best movies I watched on this was Cheri, the story revolves around a young boy, Cheri, who is in love with an older woman, played by Michelle Pfeiffer. Despite the insecurity associated with such a relationship, women desire younger men for their vitality, whereas men desire older women for their maturity and poise. Interested to know more such facts about the relationship between older women and younger men? If yes, then read on.
12 Facts Of Older Woman Younger Man Relationships
It is surprising to know that one-third of women between the ages of 40 to 69 prefer dating a much younger man. An AARP poll in the US came to the conclusion that one-sixth of women who are in their 50s preferred being in a relationship with men who are in their 40s2. The same goes for men as well. Even they love being with a woman who has a strong character, is responsible and well established in life. For many, the older woman younger man relationship works wonders. In our country, there is this idea associated that an older woman brings luck to her younger beau. There are many citings of infidelity as a stronger possibility in any relationship with a large age difference. Remember the articles on rich women falling for their gym instructors?
1. Sexual compatibility of such a relationship is impeccable
Research has shown that women reach the peak of their sexual life when they hit their 30s and 40s and men when they hit their 20s. This means that sexual compatibility between younger men and older women is usually impeccable. In fact, this is an older woman younger man relationship advice many psychologists and sociologists give. A person who wishes to be anonymous and in an extramarital relationship with a much older woman said, ‘It is nice to be looked up to by your wife and take the lead in the bedroom but it is nothing compared to the excitement of a relationship with a woman who knows herself, and what she wants. If you suggest a weekend away she is into the idea more than you cause she is so tired of all the responsibilities that she is totally up for having some fun!’
Dr Shefali Batra, a Senior Consultant Psychiatrist, and Mindfulness-Based Relationship Expert, in an interview with Bonobology, said, ‘I recall seeing a 25-year-old man living in with a 36-year-old lady; they’d met on a dating site. The relationship was initially sexuality focused. She is older and better experienced had a lot to offer to the young and energetic hormones of the man. The focus was not as much on commitment as on sexual pleasure. They did live together. She is divorced, was happy to gain the fresh attention of a young and dynamic lover with a high sexual drive and he enjoyed the seasoned homemaker experience that came as an added bonus. Regardless of age, all relationships have their glue that keeps people together as well as toxins that plague them. This couple presented to me for relationship advice as they were unsure of the future of this bond. And on assessing the relationship motivation it was clear that sex was the principal driver.’
Men obviously get attracted to the idea of being with a woman who is passionate, sexually free and knowledgeable as well.
2. Economically older woman younger man relationship survive smoothly
With women stepping into the work field more than ever and taking up higher-paying jobs the wage gap between the two genders has reduced. Also, women are generally considered before sincere and time-efficient than men. A majority of men are comfortable with the idea of older women earning more and being more focused on their careers. In the same way, women do not bother if their younger boyfriend/spouse is earning less. We get many stories of stay-at-home dads too. where the women are the bread earners. Both can respect each other’s profession and their economic life tends to be smooth. For men, this is one huge advantage of dating older women! With the budgeting becomes easier, one can go for bigger homes and better cars, even the vacation quality is better. There is no denying the fact that older women are not just emotionally but financially secure too and this, in turn, gives the relationship more stability. Older woman younger man relationships turn out to be more secure. Older women like the respect they command from younger men, also while men their age may pay lip service to the idea of liking strong women but tend to fall back on stereotypes and expect to be bothered.
Related Reading: 10 Must Watch Younger Man Older Woman Relationships
3. Health-wise also, older woman younger man relationships are suitable
The life expectancy of women is five years more than men, and according to a BBC study, this particular trend is caused by lifestyle changes, not by biology. This is an older woman younger man relationship advice that is often given. By choosing an older woman, a man ends up being with a person who is his physiological equal and health peer.3
Related reading: confessions of an older woman in love with a younger man here.
4. Such relationships go beyond dominantly held social boundaries
Societal norms and boundaries created by notions such as caste, race, religion, etc. do not seem to bother the mature female and young male couple 4.
They are most of the time willing to cross the social boundaries to give the message to everyone in the world that love is more important than these divisions of the society.
Despite facing hardships, the couple keeps persevering to keep their bond alive and strong. In an older woman younger man relationship the couple works harder on the relationship to keep things going. They do not get influenced easily and because of the emotional maturity discuss issues at length before hurrying up with decisions. Read what attracts an older woman to younger men here.
5. The couple still has to face many criticism and questions from society
An older woman younger man couple shows the courage to be together with each other. But alas, old prejudices associated with such a relationship do not actually leave them alone. You will find yourself fielding rude-if-well-meaning questions, unfunny jokes, and remarks driven by others’ disapproval and in some cases jealousy. We had this query where the woman was having difficulty convincing her family about her relationship with a younger man.
People around the couple keep showing red flags and making insensitive comments about their relationship. Some people even refuse to socialise with the couple just because they did not follow the societal norms.
They constantly face the look of the people, whether for a nice dinner outing or in the park. There is also the added embarrassment where one mistakenly assumes them to be the older sister or worse mother! This becomes challenging for a couple to deal with on almost a daily level. They may also find difficulty in having great couple-friends.
Related reading: issues that a couple faces with a huge age gap here.
6. Clashes regarding career or commitment are common
There is a possibility that in older women younger man relationships, after a point they are not interested in continuing. This means either the man is not ready to commit seriously to the relationship as he may not be ready or where the man is the woman doesn’t want to because for her career comes first. The man may want her to be around as he has seen his mother be but his woman finds this suffocating. The man may not be comfortable with her work trips or socializing with colleagues. Small irritants can lead to bigger issues. This could be a drawback in an older woman younger man relationship that needs to be worked upon. One has to see whether it is the novelty of the age gap and how different their relationship is from there peers is what is attracting them to their partners or are they genuinely attracted to what their individual personality has to offer. Discuss life goals and how the other sees the future 5 years from now, not just relating to their romantic relationships but in general regarding career, family, etc. Read this piece about things you should talk about before you want to make your relationship more serious, though the piece is on couples who would rather go for arranged marriage some of the pointers could be important for you as well.
7. An older woman in the relationship generally has to face a lot of dilemmas
First of all, she has to face the brunt of society more than the man. Second, she is always living in this fear that the man will leave her for a younger, sexier woman. We had this exact query from where the lady asked what if he leaves? Add to it the fact that she is judged far more, called a cradle snatcher and has to deal with people looking down at her.
And last but not the least, she has to be the responsible one most of the time, making it really difficult for her to understand her role in the relationship. She keeps wondering if the guy will be able to understand her point of view or not.
Older women also understand that it may be difficult for them to find someone else, and sometimes continue to be in the relationship just for this reason.
8. No useless drama characterises the relationship
When an older woman and younger man get together in a relationship, one thing that really works for them is the complete absence of drama in their relationship. Mind games are very much the environ of a younger girl. Older women are generally upfront about things, they appreciate what they like and spell out the wrongs as clearly too, sometimes they may sound brutal but it is far easier for men to know how to deal with things when they do not have to read between the lines. So when in a relationship, older woman and her younger counterpart both know and are clear about what they exactly want from each other and in life! There are no unsaid expectations, communication lines are clean and this ensures that an older woman younger man relationship remains strong and free of unnecessary drama. Even when in a long-distance relationship, they make it work.
Related reading: the romance between a younger man and an older woman.
9. Life of such a couple is exciting and fun at all times
Both the older woman and younger man are free of inhibitions, due to which they are able to enjoy their lives together to the fullest. The couple does not shy away from exploring new places, meeting new people and trying out new hobbies and pursuits. Through all this, the couple gets closer to each other and achieves fulfilment in their lives in older woman younger man relationships.
Related Reading: 8 Relationship Problems Faced By Couples With Huge Age Difference
10. Older woman and younger man learn a lot from each other
When in a relationship with a mature lady, the man tends to learn to grow and become a better person under her guidance. A woman who’s seen it all and cuts through the bullshit is far more interesting, open and intellectually stimulating for him. He gets to know how to behave like a mature man. On the other hand, the woman also learns about the ways of the modern world by enjoying the young man’s companionship. This is the best part of an old woman young man relationship. Here are some advantages to dating an older woman!
11. Satisfaction in the relationship might decline after 6 to 10 years
While the relationship between the young man and older woman is able to survive the test of time, it is likely to experience a decline in satisfaction, after, say, 6 to 10 years. This is because the couple has not really learned to cope with the challenges and negative shocks that life has to offer. A study has found that those having a 10-year age gap have 39% chances of divorce, whereas those having a 20-year age gap have 95% chance of divorce. Also, the kid conversation will always be complicated and tricky. In a way, this relationship is pitched against the biological tide. However compatible two people are children bind the marriage greatly. And this could be a missing point in the younger man and older woman relationship.
12. The couple usually faces the problem of starting a family
It could be a choice between having kids at all or not? The woman may be at the end of your childbearing years, but he feels he is too young to start a family. Or, he may want to start a family but she may be looking forward to the more chilled relaxed life which includes a glass of wine with dinner every evening. Even if they do become parents there will definitely be a huge difference in energy levels and perhaps child-raising techniques which are bound to play the spoilsport in their marriage. This can cause a lot of resentment between the couple. This aspect is one of the biggest downsides of an older woman younger man relationship.
We hope that through this article we have given you a clear picture of why a young man would be attracted to an older woman and about the relationship they are likely to share with each other. Remember, it is only through perseverance and strong bonds of unity that such a relationship is able to last long.
Related reading: How They Rock The Older Lady Younger Man Relationship