“How to get close to a girl?” Men have repeatedly wanted to know how they can win over a girl they like. Those who have managed to woo the girl of their dreams will tell you there are ways. But let us tell you that there is nothing that will guarantee you success when you are trying to woo a girl. Mavis from the film Hotel Transylvania will tell you, you have to “zing” first and then take it forward. What’s “zing” in the monster world could be called “chemistry” in the human world.
When you feel attracted towards a lady, you wonder, “how to get close to a girl and win her heart?” Well now, let’s get this straight, there’s some effort involved here to win her heart. There’s no guarantee the girl you are crushing on will look at you with big, dreamy eyes, sealing the deal. Nope, you’ve gotta work for it, buddy!
With a bit of suave and confidence, you’re going to need to get her attention. Once you’ve got that, you’ll next need to figure out how to get close to her. Granted, it’s not the easiest thing in the world, which is where this guide comes in. Let’s figure out how to approach a girl and win her over.
How To Get Close To A Girl You Like
A love guru would tell you that if you are honest in your intentions and have a heart full of love it will not take you long to get close to the girl you like. On the other hand, someone who has been in a one-sided relationship for years and has been hoping against hope that the love would be reciprocated will tell you that winning a girl over is not the easiest thing to do.
Let’s get one thing out of the way, if you’re pining for someone who has clearly told you she’s not interested in you, it’s best to move on. Trying to “win” over someone who has explicitly told you it won’t happen is only going to end up costing you months or even years of your life that you can spend watching Netflix with someone else instead.
Now that that’s settled, let’s get back to our topic for the day — how to talk to a lady and win her love. The first hint lies in the sentence itself, treat her like a lady. With a respectful attitude and charisma, there’s nothing that you can’t accomplish. We know, we know, it’s not as easy as it sounds.
To chat with a girl without being boring can seem like the toughest hill to climb. However, once you stop being nervous and start having a conversation, you might come to realize the hill actually turned out to be a molehill. Let’s help get you started with a few fundamentals you should keep in mind while trying to talk to a girl for the first time and make her like you.
Trying to win her over? Keep the HOTAPE method in mind
You won’t achieve much if you’re too afraid to try. And once you do convince yourself to try, the HOTAPE method could be a good beginning. Technically the HOTAPE method is looked upon as a great framework of flirting techniques which you can use to approach someone you like.
If you really want to win the girl over and get close to her, HOTAPE is an excellent initiation process. HOTAPE is an acronym that defines the fundamentals of dating and the letters stand for Humor, Openness, Touch, Attention, Proximity, and Eye contact. Interacting with a girl while holding on to your sense of humor and honesty works wonders, and that’s all this method is trying to teach you.
Touch is also a major indicator of how much she is into you. If you touch her hand, casually maintaining eye contact, you will instantly know if she liked it or recoiled. Of course, giving her your full attention and constant eye contact is a must. This method is also great if you’re trying to win a girl’s heart through chatting, all you have to keep in mind is being humorous, open, giving her attention and being interesting.
Related Reading: How To Date A Girl Out Of Your League
How To Win A Girl’s Heart
As Rose Dawson famously said in the film Titanic, “A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets…” As the film showed Rose initially cringed at Jack’s antics. She didn’t like his in-your-face attitude, but then fell head-over-heels in love with him within hours. You really don’t know how a woman could fall head-over-heels in love with you.
There’s no formula for winning a girl’s heart, but oodles of confidence and honesty do work. As Jack Dawson showed in Titanic, you can definitely get close to a girl and win her heart if you want to, just by being yourself.
You just need to talk to a girl, make her think about you, and she would fall for you. To make sure you don’t end up like Rose’s fiance, Caledon Hockley, at the end of the movie, here are 20 tips that could help win your girl over.
1. Ask her to do something for you
Don’t do it out of the blue, have a prelude like, “Can you do me a huge favor?” or, “Only you can do this for me”. You could ask her to do something that’s in her expertise, like writing something for you, designing a corner of your home, or even picking out a suit for an important conference that’s coming up.
This is called the Benjamin Franklin effect. This is a psychological tool that Franklin used to great effect all his life. His aim was to win over his enemies by asking them to do him a favor and he thanked them for that. In your case, it would help greatly to win over your girl by making her feel important.
Although, don’t ask her to do something for you that’s only going to put her off. Make sure the “favor” is something considerably small but still makes her feel like she’s helping you. If she isn’t a friend and you don’t know her, refrain from using this tactic until you do.
2. Tell her your secrets
“No one knows this about me but I am telling you this…” is a great opening line of a conversation with her. You don’t really have to tell her all the secrets of the horrible deeds you did in high school, but tell her about how you like pineapple on pizzas or how you write poetry/fiction that no one knows about.
PS, be careful about the pineapple on pizza thing. If she’s one of those purists who believes a fruit on pizza is a cardinal sin, you’ll be doing the exact opposite of winning a girl’s heart through chatting.
3. How to win a girl’s heart – always smell good
Do you have a particular fragrance that you always use? Make sure it’s a good one since your perfume usually leaves a lasting impression. Women love the smell of good perfumes, and if you sprinkle one that comes from a good brand generously enough, she’ll start associating that fragrance with you.
Once you smell good, she might even want to be within close proximity, especially if you’re friendly and charming. Grooming definitely takes center stage when you’re trying to figure out how to approach a girl and win her over, so make sure you get personal hygiene in check.
4. Make a girl think about you
How to get close to a girl you like? Ensure she is thinking about you all the time. Drop her texts once in a while or even a brief call would do. Don’t worry about how to talk to a girl on phone and win her love, just try to be yourself and ask her about herself. The point is to establish communication, not to always be her personal stand-up comic.
Gestures like sending over a box of chocolates or ordering books on Amazon, if she is into them, will keep the focus on you. The more you are on her mind, the greater the chances are that your girl will fall for you. Making her think about you should be one of your topmost priorities.
5. Get her “addicted” to you
This is obviously the next step to making her think about you. If you want to get her addicted to you then create a schedule when you will text her, talk to her, or meet her.
“Addicted” might be too harsh a word per se, but the point is to get her used to talking to you and meeting with you. Once you two develop a rapport and spend more time together, you’ll eventually want to meet each other more often as well.
Ask her to join your gym, carpool to work or back, make plans for the weekend, or call her every other day at a certain time. She will get used to your presence and start missing you the moment the schedule gets upset. This is actually a great way to make a girl miss you.
Although, make sure you don’t go overboard with this one. Respect her boundaries and only make plans with her when she’s willing to meet you. If she says she doesn’t want to join your gym or meet you after work, don’t pressure her into it.
6. Give her all your attention
Women like to talk and they adore men who listen, without judgment that is. She could tell you about the obnoxious boss she is dealing with at work or the traffic jams she’s always stuck in. The most important thing to keep in mind is to not provide solutions until she asks for them, and just listen since that’s all she wants you to do.
In fact, that could be a deal-breaker. She wants a listener, not a counselor. If she needs your advice, she will ask for it. Till then, listen with rapt attention and talk to her about the things she wants to hear. Even if you’re wondering how to talk with your girlfriend in a romantic way, all you have to do sometimes is listen, not talk.
Related Reading: 15 Signs That Say A Girl Only Wants Attention Not You
7. Compliment her often
Complimenting does not mean just talking about the color of her lipstick, or how you love her long dark hair. Complimenting could extend to her cooking prowess, her ability to get ready in a jiffy and come out with you, or how she talks to people with such warmth and kindness.
There are a lot of things you can compliment her on, like how she makes sure the stray dogs around the neighborhood are always fed, how she’s good at her job, or how passionate she is about what she believes in. Follow-up compliment with action. Feed the stray dogs with her one day. She’d instantly fall for you.
If you’re trying to figure out how to talk to a girl for the first time and make her like you, don’t go crazy with the compliments. Since you don’t know her yet, just compliment her outfit a little bit.
8. How to win a girl’s heart – be anything but clingy
There’s a thin line between texting her often and being anxious or double texting. As soon you start doing that, you’ve lost the plot. There is a difference between paying attention to a girl and paying too much attention. Yes, wanting to be in her life every minute will make you come across as clingy. Anyone would hate that so maintain boundaries carefully.
9. Go out of your way to make her feel special
It really doesn’t take much to make her feel special. If you really want to get close to the girl of your dreams, you need to show her how precious she is to you. She’s stuck at work because of heavy rains? Drive down a few miles and pick her up. Be there for her, but make sure you’re not being taken for granted like some kind of personal butler.
You will be out of town for two weeks. Take her out for a special dinner to let her know you will be missing her. If she is going out of town you could be at the airport to say bye, or if she is feeling unwell you can drop in to check up on her.
10. Care goes a long way to get a girl close to you
Women are always looking for kindness, compassion, and a caring nature in men. This is something that floors them completely. Care for her in every way you can. Try to make her life easier with your gestures. If she tells you she had a tiring day at work, surprise her with food from her favorite restaurant if you two are that close with each other. If her father is unwell and she is taking him to the hospital, tell her you can accompany her if she wants you to. She will love you for supporting her in times of need.
Related Reading: How To Keep Calm When Your Girlfriend Talks To Other Guys
11. Take it slow and steady
As they say, don’t rush love, it will not take you anywhere. Be there for her and keep making her feel special. But don’t drop clues and hints that she has a deadline for uttering those three magic words. That would be the worst put off off. Do what you have to do and relax and chill. Things will fall in place. The girl you like will come close to you and you will win her over.
12. Be friends with her friends
How to get close to a girl you like? Like her friends as much she likes them. Remember, friends play a very important role in a girl’s life and her besties would be the first ones to know if she has feelings for you or not. If you have her BFFs on your side, they could also influence her into getting close to you. It’s a win-win.
13. Make her a bit jealous
This is an old trick but it works every time. If there’s a woman she considers competition, drop a few hints telling her how much that another lady is hitting on you. There could be a female colleague at work who’s pretty and competent, talk about her to the girl you like and see how she responds. Sometimes, jealousy can be healthy. If she starts becoming somber you have something there.
14. Play hard to get
Usually, it’s the women who play hard to get, but sometimes men do it too. If she wants to make plans for the weekend you could suddenly get busy with some office parties. Don’t be there at her beck and call. Pick and choose when and how you want to spend time with her. This will keep the mystery about you alive.
When guys try to talk to a lady and win her love, they can sometimes end up being taken for granted since they’re always so available for whatever she needs. Have a life outside of this woman you’re trying to impress as well.
15. Be the challenge
Women love challenges. And if you can throw one at them, they will just lap it up. Instead of you pursuing her, she would end up pursuing you. Becoming the challenge is not easy, but with a bit of hard work, it’s possible. Just ensure that she starts considering you as the man of your dreams. Be your best self in front of her and let her see your best qualities. You can’t really expect to win her over until she likes you as well, can you?
16. Win her heart with words
Some guys say things like: “The sun is so lucky it’s shining on you.” You will say something like this only if you want your girl to run away on your first date. How do you talk to a girl to win her heart? Just keep it simple and easy and only talk about things that come easily to you. If poetry is not your thing, don’t even try. Don’t ask friends to pen it for you, she’ll see right through it.
Tell her what you feel and what she means to you. A genuine effort at trying to convey how important she is to you will end up doing a lot more good than you expect it to. When you want to win a girl’s heart through chatting, all you have to do is be honest about your feelings.
Related Reading: 20 Things You Should Never Ignore On A First Date
17. How to win a girl’s heart – Build trust
Building trust is perhaps the most important thing in a relationship. She has to feel secure with you. If it’s a late-night party you are going to, she should know you will be the one to watch her back and drop her home.
Honesty and trust are the two things that women look for in their man. If you want her to get close to you, you have to assure her that she can trust you. Rise up to the demands of the situation and convince her that you are reliable and dependable.
18. Respect her as an equal
Although we have put this point way down in the list of our 20 tips, we are sure you know that this is one of the most important things – respect. You may woo a girl with flowers and fancy dinner dates, but if you don’t respect her and look at her as an equal, you are not getting anywhere close to her for sure.
19. She should ask you, “What are we?”
Instead of you trying to make her say that you have got a relationship going, wait for her to ask you the question, “What are we?” If you want to get close to the girl you like, don’t keep pushing her to define your relationship. When the time comes, she will do it and come close to you. Just have patience.
20. Know how to touch
Touch is a very vital aspect of a relationship. How you touch a person says a lot about who you are. Touching doesn’t always mean passionate sessions in bed. Maybe your relationship has not even reached that stage.
Touching could be the reassuring interludes to conversations or the way you slip your arm around her shoulders on a walk or when you hold hands while sitting in the movie hall. Touch is a very important aspect when trying to figure out how to chat with a girl without being boring, but make sure you read the room well. How you will get close to a girl you like will depend on how you touch her.
Your girl could be a difficult girl or a shy girl, but if you are following these tips she won’t be able to help but lean in. These are things women just love and if you are doing it right your girl’s bound to fall for you. To talk with your girlfriend in a romantic way isn’t rocket science, be confident in your abilities and let it be a mutual bonding experience.
Start a conversation with a girl over text. Text her often and then have time schedules when you text her. She would expect your text at that same time every day and if you don’t text her, she will miss you. This is a great way to get close to a girl over text.
It’s easier to get close to a girl you already know because you are familiar with her likes and dislikes. You know the similarities and differences you share with her. Have meaningful conversations over text and in person, see how she reacts to your casual touch, and ensure she misses you.
Make her feel important by asking her to do something for you, go out of your way to show that you care for her, make her feel special, be great friends with her, compliment her often, be there for her when she needs you, build trust and sometimes make her a bit jealous too.
You show your love, care, and concern. You make her feel special and get her addicted to you. You can sometimes use touch – a brush of your fingers or an arm around the waist – to let her know your feelings. Have patience and she will reciprocate your feelings.
If you show a girl respect, if you are not critical of her ways, and don’t show signs of insecurity or over possessiveness, a girl will be comfortable around you.