There are obvious flirting signs from women that men often tend to miss these days. Gone are the days when taking a turn around the room would catch the gentleman’s eye and urge him to reserve you for the next dance.
Gone are the days that a cursory glance at his direction would have him swiftly make his way over to you. Indeed, gone are the days, when a flush of colour on your cheeks would give a man a reason to hope.
Ladies, we know in this day and age, a woman making the first move is not only the new normal but also a welcome break, away from the traditions that made courting a one-sided art.
But when you muster up the courage to approach the gentleman, you do expect him to pick up on the subtle hints and at least meet you half way. But most often these days men can’t latch on to the flirting signs from women.
Related Reading: What To Do When A Woman Is Flirting With Your Husband At Work
10 Obvious Flirting Signs Guys Miss
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Here you were thinking he will ask you why you look different today (it will be too much to expect him to notice the new hairdo) and he is busy arguing the season’s best scorer in the league with his friends!
In my experience, most of the men I have met are incredibly fast on picking up hints when you are not even dropping them; and yet proceed at a glacial pace when you are trying your best to make him understand that your intention in meeting him was not just to get the DVD of that movie he has been talking about. Yes, there are flirting signs men don’t decode.
To the ladies who have never been in this situation, I bid you farewell here promising that the rest of the article will not make much sense to you.
To my fellow mourners, here are some of the obvious flirting signs that men miss – just to make the blows less painful as you keep identifying with them, I shall go from the more obvious signs that men miss to the more subtle ones.
1. Why are you complimenting him?
Complimenting anyone is a nice gesture. Doing it in front of everyone is even more gracious. It’s a simple flirting sign from a woman that men don’t undersand.
Gents, if a girl has been laughing at your jokes throughout the evening when all you got from the others are unsure polite smiles, she has a vested interest in you. She was probably even laughing at your lame jokes.
If she is complimenting you on your sense of humour then it’s one of the obvious flirting signs that you are missing.
When you compliment a man, he takes it just like that – a compliment. Something he will hold on to, with pride. Something that will give him a push when he needs it. But the thing he completely leaves out of the equation is – you. YOU gave him the compliment, because…
YOU want him to know you like him. I can assure you he has not thought this far. The minute you said, you admired how he stood up to his boss, he went off on a hypothetical in his mind, where he replayed the scene and pictured himself saying things he wish he had said to his boss – maybe next time.
And in the process he has missed the female flirting wave that hit him. So he just failed to latch on to the fact that you are flirting with him, you are interested in him and that is why you are complimenting him. (Gosh! God help him.)
2. Is he unable to understand your “likes” on social media?
Men are sometimes incapable of understanding playful flirting signs. You liked his profile picture. Dropped a comment even, with two emoticons. A few minutes later you refreshed your feed. He has liked your comment. Along with the 5 other comments below yours.
Nothing screams “I like you too”.
While social media has become an inherent part of our lives and is here to stay, let us not forget the pleasure of getting to know someone without the virtual screen. It used to be wonderful to peel off the different layers of his personality than to go through his Wall.
If he likes you already, then an appreciation from you will encourage him to make a move. But if he has no clue that you are interested, that “like” is all you are getting at the moment. If he is unable to decode the obvious flirting signs from you then you have to make things a bit more obvious.
If you like him, text him and let him know you like him over text. It will save you a fruitless, time-consuming analysis of a situation that does not exist. Maybe he will get the drift then.
Related Reading: What Is Texting Anxiety And How To Rein It In
3. Did he not notice that you are looking gorgeous?
That doesn’t sound right – why should you dress up for him? You should dress up for no one but yourself. He may or may not see the change in you. Why put so much effort into in and roll the dice when he may not even notice?
Ladies, if you are dressing up, do it right – do it for yourself and let impressing the guy with your costume be an inevitability of the effort. Don’t thicken the brow because he likes it that way, but because you do.
Oscar Wilde said, “A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.” So be it. If he can keep his autobiography, wouldn’t you want to write your own fiction?
Dress up in clothes that “you” like and clothes that make you feel comfortable and of course, hope that he would notice that you look gorgeous. Yes we know you pick up outfits that look like you are on a first date.
Umm…don’t expect that he would pick up the flirting signs from you just because you look stunning, but chances are his eyes would register that you are flipping your shiny hair often.
4. Why are you teasing him?
Teasing is nice. When playfully done. But don’t throw the poor chap overboard with it.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I have witnessed a friend of mine tell the man who was on the brink of professing his love to her, that he should date her best friend – just to see his reaction. He was flabbergasted, thought she has been leading him, had absolutely no interest in him and was heartbroken.
He stopped pursuing her. Years later, they met again, she told him this was her way of teasing him because she liked him so much – they were able to get together and have been married now for two years.
She was lucky. They were lucky. You might not get the same Act Two in life. So tease him as much as you like, but don’t push him out the door with his bags in tow. Making him jealous is a good way of teasing him but be sure that you stay within the boundaries of healthy jealousy.
If you don’t he would decode your flirting signs as interest in others and not in him. So beware!
5. Is he getting your sarcasm?
This is my personal favourite. I have saved it for the last. Partly because if keyed in at the correct measure this can work wonders for your courtship; but turn it up two notches more and you are dangerously close to being rude and insensitive.
And I speak from experience.
It took a guy 6 years to understand that I liked him – because all those years the more I liked him, the more sarcastic I got with him.
Now don’t get me wrong. I like good slapstick humour from time to time. Everyone does.
The dry wit. The caustic remarks. But make sure to look out for the opportune moment and not throw a flurry of insults his way. If he is intelligent, he will stick around for a while longer to know your intentions, but overdoing the sarcasm won’t exactly give him the signal to drop everything and sweep you off your feet.
He will obviously not get the flirting signs you are throwing his way.
6. Does he get the workplace flirting signs?
The workplace flirting signs are unique and most often men don’t get it. She could be timing her coffee breaks with yours, landing up at the pantry to get some water at the same time as you do.
At the meetings in the conference hall she could be sitting at a place where she can keep an eye on you. She supports you when you make a presentation and calls you over when she gets homemade food for lunch.
She usually hangs around in the same group at office parties but she would not tell you to drop her home after the party because that would be making things too obvious.
Workplace flirting signs could be subtle flirting signs that men miss out on most of the time. Unless, of course, colleagues point it out that you should date a girl in the workplace.
7. Women flirt with their eyes – does he know it?
Women are great at using their eyes to drop subtle hints of flirting. Flirting with the eyes comes easily to them but you have to know how to pick up the signs.
She might stare for a moment then not look at all for hours after that. So what do you deduce from that? If she wants to show her interest she would not stare at you too often but look fleetingly.
One thing women are too good at is they would look, even stare but you wouldn’t even know. When a woman is flirting with her eyes you sometimes end up missing the obvious flirting signs. So what should we say? Keep your eyes and ears open!
Related Reading:15 Questions To Ask A Romance Scammer To Identify Them
8. Are you flirting with him over text?
This is something many women resort to because it gives them a certain level of comfort in the anonymity texting offers. You don’t get to see her blush or smile or look coy and she can drop all kinds of flirting hints over text.
A friend of mine was reunited with a class mate of hers when she was 30. The guy was her high school crush and was dating a 23-year-old girl at that point.
She started flirting or even seducing him over text. All the hints she couldn’t drop in their face-to-face interaction, she did over text.
She presumed that he couldn’t make out that she was flirting with him. One day she wrote: “When you make the 23-year-old your life partner, the 30-year-old would stay your support system.”
He wrote back: “The 30-year-old would be both.” She was stumped. So he had known all the time and she had missed the flirting signs from a man.
9. Do you ask him to accompany you?
It would not be necessarily for a date. Without knowing your feelings for her, she wouldn’t ask you out for coffee or for dinner.
But she’s got tickets to the opera, the expensive ones, and asks you to join her. What does that mean? She wants your company but not in the romantic way.
Don’t miss the flirting signs though. She could be asking you out to multiple events, parties or just to hang out with her friends just to be with you.
10. Did he see your special smile?
Subtle flirting signs are something men don’t understand even if they are flirting with you playfully. It’s all in the glowing, warm smile that you give him every time your eyes meet.
The million-watt smile of a woman is a big enough hint to show she likes you. He just can’t miss that awesome smile.
But it’s not all that hard to understand that a lady is interested in you if you keep your eyes and ears open to her laughter at your lame jokes, to the flipping of her hair, to her fidgeting when she sits opposite to you at a restaurant and to her attempts to make you jealous. You surely won’t miss the obvious signs that she is interested in you.
It is always possible to identify flirtatious behavior. But sometimes the flirting signs are so subtle that the person it is aimed at becomes a bit confused and doesn’t understand the obvious flirting signs.
It does mean a subtle underlying attraction. Flirting can be of all kinds. Sometimes you indulge in healthy flirting just for fun. You can flirt with your spouse or maybe flirt to do away with boredom in your life.
There is a thin line between just being nice and reciprocation of your attempts at flirting. If they always text back with the same kind of banter, smile at you across the room or their eyes look for you in a crowd, then they are into you.