If you are here wanting to know how a guy acts after he cheated, then you’re suspecting him of cheating. Maybe because you found a peculiar message on his phone or you find his behavior very odd or you already caught him cheating on you with his colleague. All of this has led to you questioning his loyalty toward you and the relationship.
To know more about cheating and how does a guy act after cheating, we reached out to psychologist Jayant Sundaresan. He says, “The first thing you need to know about cheating is not everyone cheats because of one reason. There are many reasons why a guy cheats. The second thing is, not everyone will exhibit the same actions and behavior after they have cheated. Some will behave very normally with their partners whereas, some men feel deep remorse and regret for cheating on their partner.
“So, the main thing to keep in mind here is that every cheater is different. Their thoughts and feelings will be all over the place. For some women, cheating is an absolute deal-breaker. But some women who are married and have kids try to give everything they can to make the relationship work despite the betrayal they faced.
“The husband accepts he is guilty and they try to build the relationship all over again. It’s neither easy nor quick. To try and build trust again is one of the most complicated things ever.” Continue reading if you want to know how a guy acts after he cheated.
How Does A Guy Act After He Has Cheated?
Jayant shares, “Before we get into details regarding how do guys act toward their girlfriends after cheating, we first need to examine where your suspicions have originated from. Are you being paranoid because your friend got cheated on and now you’re anxious as well? Have you been cheated on before and now you are acting out of those trust issues? Before we place distrust upon someone, we need to be sure whether or not they deserve that mistrust.” Below are some of the signs on how a guy acts after he cheated.
Related Reading: 11 Feelings One Goes Through After Being Cheated On
1. His sexual interest declines
Jayant says, “If your partner is cheating on you, they will exhibit a lack of libido. Why? Because they are fulfilling and satisfying their sexual needs somewhere else. You can suspect he is having an affair if he suddenly shows less interest in you. He will always act tired and exhausted after coming home from work when that wasn’t the case before.
“There are many reasons why husbands lose interest in wives but that doesn’t give them the right to cheat. One of the main reasons behind cheating is their desire for sexual variety. They might see someone who is a complete opposite of you in terms of bodily appearance and they get attracted to them. This particular attraction tempts them to cheat.”
2. They try new things in bed
Jayant adds, “Following from the previous point, you need to keep an eye on how he acts when he is intimate with you. Has he suddenly done something which he never did before? He could have learnt it by watching adult movies. He could have learnt it by having a conversation with his friends. But what if he learnt it from some woman?
“He tried it on the woman he is having an affair with and now wants to try it with you as well. If his sexual pattern has been the same for many years, then why is there a sudden change in his actions? This is one of thee warning signs of a cheating husband and one of the ways of how a guy acts after he cheated on you.”
3. Their plans are always vague
Jayant says, “If you are confused and thinking “I think he’s cheating but he denies it”, then you can confirm this by seeing how he reacts when you ask him about his weekend plans. Ask him to spend the weekend with you. If he doesn’t readily agree and doesn’t give you a direct answer, then it means he is waiting to confirm some plan with the other woman.
“If they agree to hangout with you after a bit of deliberation, then maybe the other party is busy. It’s as if you become their last resort. They will go out with you when the other person has ditched them.”
4. Pointing out mistakes in your appearance
Jayant says, “One of the most vicious things a man does when he is cheating is comparison. A man will compare his spouse or girlfriend to the woman he is cheating with. He won’t directly say it to their face. He will say it subtly like “I think you would look better with short hair” or “I think you should wear more makeup”. That’s some of the worst things a husband can say to his wife.
“They are basically comparing you with the other woman they are sleeping with. And in that comparison, they will always find you lacking. Suggesting that you tweak your appearance in order to suit their liking is not just rude. It’s harsh and it will damage the person’s self-esteem. It will leave them doubting themselves.”
5. They will change their passwords
Jayant adds, “This is one of the most obvious answers to how a guy acts after he cheated. When a man becomes extremely possessive and protective of his phone, that’s how you find out something is wrong. He will change his password. You will no longer be allowed to go through his gallery or WhatsApp.”
If you want to know how to catch a cheating partner, then notice how he handles his mobile phone and other devices. When I was in a relationship with my previous partner, he was never over protective about his phone. He would even ask me to read his messages if we were going out somewhere and when he was driving. Later, I found out he had one more phone and another number. When I confronted him about this, he said “Oh, it’s my work phone”.
I was so blind in love that I believed him. I didn’t want to check his phone because I was scared he would think of me as a suspicious person. Women, please don’t be naive like me. If he is overprotective of his phone or has another phone, that’s your cue he has cheated on you.
6. Over sharing or under sharing things
Jayant adds, “How does a guy act after cheating? He will answer your questions very crisply and precisely. Sometimes even one word answers. Or he will be vague with his stories. On the contrary, when a guy feels deep remorse and regret, he will over share things. He will tell you everything that went down at the party or he will tell you every minute detail about the vacation he took with his friends.”
Related Reading: 9 Psychological Effects Of Being The Other Woman
7. Sudden change in appearance
If you are thinking “I think he is cheating but he denies it”, then Jayant shares a way to find out if he is actually cheating on you. He says, “If you’ve noticed a sudden change in their appearance or that they are overly concerned about how they look, then that’s the answer to your question: how does a guy act after cheating?
“He will buy new clothes, especially undergarments. They may suddenly start going to the gym because they want to look better. They’ll even start using a new perfume and get a new haircut. There could easily be other explanations for such things. But if you were already suspecting him, then this is one of the signs he is cheating on you.”
8. Always showers after coming home
Jayant says, “Want to know how a guy acts after he cheated? Notice if he hurries into the bathroom to take a shower as soon as he reaches home. Was he always like that? If he was, then there’s nothing to worry about. But if this is something new and unusual of him, then he is hiding the scent of another woman from you. This is one of the signs your partner is sleeping with someone else.
“Another answer to how do guys act toward their girlfriends after cheating is that they will stop undressing in front of their partners. They are hiding love bites and nail marks from you. They will stop being naked around you.”
9. Their moods will fluctuate
Jayant shares, “A man who is cheating will be unpredictable. He might be irritated for reasons unknown to you. It basically means that his moods are being affected by someone else. If he seems happy all of a sudden and you don’t know the reason behind it, then somebody else is responsible for that happiness. His moods in no way reflect on your behavior or actions.”
How Can You Know If He Regrets Cheating
Jayant says, “There are three types of cheaters. The first one is the type that indulges in one-night-stands. It’s just a one off thing which they did when they were out of town or when they were intoxicated. The second type of cheaters are serial cheaters. Men who have affair after affair. It’s the thrill they are after. The third types of cheaters are those who have a long-term second affair. They are men who are in love with two women.
“How do cheaters feel? If he is a one-timer, then there are high chances he feels deep remorse and regret. A serial cheater however feels no regret or remorse. They do it to make themselves feel better and act out of their insecurities. They lack self-esteem and that’s one of the main reasons why they have so many affairs. A man who has a long-term affair very rarely regrets. One of the signs he regrets cheating is he will try to make it up by buying gifts for both the women he is seeing.”
The phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true in Khloe Kardashian’s case. She trusted her baby daddy Tristan and gave him another chance. She threw him a birthday party. And what did he do? He got another woman pregnant. That’s just heartbreaking and makes one wonder if a cheater can really change. On the contrary, there are some men who felt deep remorse and regret after they cheated on their partner.
One reddit user shared, “It’s pretty shitty to be honest. Honestly, when I cheated on my girlfriend, I had no idea why I did it. The other girl was hot, and we had great sex once we got back home, but once I woke up and the alcohol haze was gone, I felt like the world’s biggest scumbag. We have since broken up, but initially she was willing to stay with me even after knowing I had cheated. Hearing her say that basically broke me emotionally, and I still haven’t recovered. It was 100% my fault what happened, but I still hate myself.”
Below are some of the signs he cheated and feels guilty about it:
1. They will be sorry for their actions
How do cheaters feel? They feel sorry for their actions if they are one-time cheaters. They will accept their mistakes and they will take accountability for their actions. They will mend their ways and prove to you that they can be a better partner.
Related Reading: 18 Complications Of Having An Affair With A Married Man
2. They will block them
If you raise a concern and ask them to block the person they cheated on you with and they readily agree to your restrictions, then this is one of the signs he cheated and feels guilty.
3. He stops the affair
He will keep his promise and end the affair. He feels deep remorse and regret after knowing that you will leave him. This has scared him so much that he puts an end to the affair.
4. He works to rebuild trust
Trust is not an easy thing to build, especially if it has been broken once. They won’t force you to forgive them. They will be patient with you and they will earn your trust back by showing you they’ve changed. Their actions will finally align with their words. They will take part in activities to rebuild trust.
The above are some of the ways of how a guy acts after he cheated and how to know if he regrets cheating. It doesn’t matter if they regret or not. It doesn’t matter how much they apologize. If cheating is one thing you can’t let go of, then you have every right to leave him and look for happiness elsewhere. The world is so big. You’ll find someone who will be honest with you.