How To Attract A Divorcee?

Getting involved with a divorced woman is no cakewalk. She is someone who has experienced the worst sort of heartbreak in the form of a failed relationship. A divorcee will be highly cautious when it comes to dealing with men and think several times before jumping into another relationship. Therefore, if you are dating a divorced woman, or if you would like to attract a divorcee, remember to  approach with thoughtfulness, patience and care.

It can be tough to attract a divorcee because she is not looking for superficial love but something deeper that touches her soul. Unfortunately, divorcees are viewed with much prejudice and have to deal with a lot of judgment in our society. This is also why divorced women rarely get into new relationships.

Moreover, they are scared of being manipulated and betrayed again. A divorced woman will act with prudence and caution because she does not wish to get hurt again. If you still want to approach a divorced woman, then take into consideration that wooing her will take time and patience from your side.

However, despite these odds, there are ways in which you can attract a divorced woman and make her fall in love with you. As long as you follow some basic rules while dating a divorced woman and more importantly always be mindful not violate the boundaries she may have set to protect herself.

Character Traits Of A Divorced Woman

A recently divorced woman can seem emotionally detached. Chances are, she will not respond to a temporary hook-up situation because of her fears about love after divorce and the implications of getting too emotionally invested.

While dating a divorced woman or trying to win her over, you must be mindful of the fact that she is not interested in futile relationships that only waste her time. There are several character traits that a divorced woman exhibits and it is important to understand these before you go all out to impress her. Some of the traits that you will notice in a divorced woman are:

• She is independent: A divorced woman is independent. As a divorcee she has learnt to be self-sufficient and stand up for herself
• Trust issues: She might have major trust issues. Remember, she once loved a man and now feels betrayed. The prior circumstances and betrayal in her previous marriage are scars that take time to heal
• She is a realist: A recently divorced woman is a realist. She will not be superficial when it comes to new relationships and will not be swayed by flowery words
• A divorced woman is mature: She is also mature and wise beyond her years. Dating a divorced woman means matching her maturity level
• Higher expectations: A separated woman has probably learned from her past mistakes and will now have even higher expectations from a new partner

Related Reading: Divorce By Mutual Consent – Bridges Vs Battlegrounds

How To Attract A Divorced Woman?

If you discover that the woman you are falling in love with was previously married and you still want to attract a divorcee, then also bear in mind that your approach requires more forethought and confidence than if you were approaching a single woman. You must keep certain important points in mind while wooing or dating a divorced woman. Here are some factors that will help you in your pursuit to attract a divorcee:

1. Be honest and upfront

To approach a divorced woman, honesty is the best policy. Ensure you are truthful and upfront when you talk to her for the first time. Divorce is an extremely taxing time for both men and women. If you want to date a divorced woman, remember she has struggled through heartbreak, disillusionment about love, lawyers and has tried to remain sane during the divorce. 

From her past relationship she has learnt to distinguish between fake and genuine intentions. To make a divorced woman fall in love with you, try not to impress her by showing off, but rather by being transparent and forthcoming right from the beginning. It will make it easier for you to win her trust, and eventually, her heart. That’s the first step toward dating a divorced woman successfully.

2. Persistence will see you through

If you are thinking about dating a divorced woman, then prepare yourself for a long courtship. Endurance is the key to building a fruitful relationship in these circumstances. Be prepared to have your patience tested in different ways when you start dating a divorced woman as she is not easy to please. The mind of a divorced woman is more skeptical about love. She might test your feelings in different ways and might act indifferent and aloof at times as this is part of her defense mechanism.

Related Reading: 20 Tips To Get Close To A Girl And Win Her Heart

3. Become her friend

To attract a divorced woman, become her friend first. A woman who has just been divorced will have a lot of emotional baggage. The fear of intimacy after divorce is a big emotional block. Try to support her as a friend and understand her well before jumping into a romantic relationship. Questions to ask a divorced woman could be about her past marriage but tread carefully into this territory. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, let it go. Instead ask her what she would like from you to help build her trust and break through the wall that shields her emotions. Reassure her that you will be there for her and provide her with valuable counsel or any help she might need to make it through the tough times. If she sees that you’re there to have her back through thick and thin, she will instinctively warm up to you.

4. Be empathetic, not sympathetic toward her

The moment you pity a divorcee, you will lose her. She is aware of her personal strength, and she needs to know that you appreciate her independence, too. To make a divorced woman fall in love with you, will require that you share her feelings and get to know her and appreciate her perspective. This does not mean that you are a `yes’ man but that you are there for her with a shoulder to cry on, or lend her an ear when she needs it, or offer advice when she asks for it.  To attract a divorcee, remember trust and being a pillar of strength are fundamental toward forging a good bond between the two of you.

5. Do not be desperate

This is a big turn-off. One of the rules for dating a divorced woman is knowing the difference between persistence and desperation. A divorcee does not wish to mingle with someone who is desperate. If you want to approach a divorcee, try to present yourself as a confident and reliable person instead of a needy one. The mind of a divorced woman balks at a desperate man and she would stay far away from you. A divorced woman is emotionally independent and expects the same from any man she gets involved with. Emotional strength is of utmost importance while dating a divorced woman.

Related Reading: 7 Stages Of Grief After A Breakup: Tips To Move On

6 Tips For Dating A Divorced Woman

If you want to make a divorced woman fall in love with you, start by doing some self reflection to ensure that you are indeed ready to actually start dating a divorced woman. Reflect upon your feelings to make sure that you are not just dating her because you are physically attracted to her. She has gone through an emotional rollercoaster and the fear of intimacy after divorce is still very strong. She might still have her guard up and you will have to win over her affection. 

Be sure that you are truly interested in getting to know her better. The questions to ask a divorced woman should reflect your curiosity in getting to know all about her, her likes and dislikes, her family, her past relationships, and the future she envisions for herself. Then ask yourself, are you willing to accept the challenges that come with dating a divorced woman? If your answer is, “ No matter what, I’m in love with a divorced woman”, then you have obviously done some introspection and are serious about the relationship. Follow these tips for dating a divorced woman and in winning over her affection:

1. Be as humorous and fun-loving as possible

Since she has already been through many hardships, she will cherish a person who makes her laugh and helps her enjoy every moment in life. The idea is to have some lighthearted fun so that she feels relaxed and comfortable around you. To attract a divorcee do not let her mistake your fun side for a lack of seriousness in the relationship. The key to dating a divorced woman is balance. If she feels your intentions are not serious, she will cut you off.

2. Avoid bringing up her past sufferings

A divorced woman will probably share her side of the story with you when you first approach her as she believes in being transparent. Even so, you may have many questions to ask a divorced woman. However, raking up the past and prodding her with relentless questions about her previous relationship is only going to bring back painful memories.

Nobody appreciates being reminded of painful experiences. So, ask yourself do you really need to know everything about your partner’s previous relationship? If not, focus on talking about the future, rather than dwelling on the past and increase your chances of making a divorced woman fall in love with you.

3. Learn from the mistakes of her ex-husband

So you admit to yourself that, “I’m in love with a divorced woman.” But you are wondering how to reassure her of your love and win her trust. If she is dating you, she might have mentioned her ex-husband’s past mistakes. There are many reasons why she mentioned it. It could be to get a load off her shoulders or she might be suggesting there is a lesson to be learned here. 

If you want to attract a divorced woman, take note of the things that sounded the death knell for her marriage. Next, ensure you are different from her ex and make sure you do not repeat the same mistakes. Be different from the man who caused her immense pain and you will increase the chances of making a divorced woman fall in love with you.

4. Give her time and space

Let’s say you are dating a divorced woman and you expressed your feelings to her that you would like to take the relationship to the next level, and she asked for time to think about it. Don’t text a divorced woman incessantly when she clearly mentioned she needs time and space to think about her future with you. Remember she dislikes desperate people. So keep your cool and let her reach out to you when she is good and ready.

Giving a divorced woman enough space is crucial to making her fall in love with you. When she does call you, then rest assured she has given it a lot of thought and is ready to trust and deepen the bonds with you. Giving her space and time is extremely essential because she should not feel pressured and should be allowed to settle into her feelings at her own pace. 

Related Reading: 5 Harmless Mistakes In A Relationship That Are Actually Harmful

5. Take things slow

The fear of intimacy after divorce should not be underestimated. A divorced woman trying to rebuild new relationships would be skeptical and apprehensive about falling in love too fast. If you want to attract a divorcee, allow her to take her own time. She is being cautious about getting into another emotional relationship and that is only fair. The best way to attract a divorcee is to give the reins of the relationship to her and take things forward at a pace comfortable to both of you.

6. Be dependable

While dating a divorced woman, make her understand that you are dependable and reliable. A divorced woman will probably be afraid of another failed relationship like her last one. But this might keep you on your toes and you might be confused about how to talk to a divorced woman. You might wonder if you should be very careful about what you say, if you should be funny all the time, if you too can share your troubles and worries like she does? The best answer is just be yourself and allow her to gradually trust and learn to love you.

Like in any relationship, be open and transparent. But with a divorcee, you also have to be there for her emotionally. It’s important to display a stable character and show her you are capable of building a lasting relationship by wooing her with the essential components of trust.

Advantages of dating a divorced woman

Divorced women generally examine any relationship prospect with the utmost patience and consideration. Some advantages of dating a divorced woman are:

• She will take things slow: A divorcee will never rush into a relationship, giving you enough time to make up your own mind and heart as well
• She values commitment: She will be a committed woman once she is in a relationship with you because she will not want to go through heartbreak again
• She has experience: Invaluable experiences from her previous marriage will guide her through new relationships and she will know what makes or breaks a relationship
• She adapts: A divorced woman will be willing to adapt and adjust and will understand you in ways many other people cannot

Disadvantages of dating a divorced woman

Unfortunately, a divorced woman also comes with baggage – her failed marriage may weigh on her. Her past relationship has probably changed her personality and the choices she makes for many years to come. This can have a bearing on your relationship dynamics with her, placing you at a disadvantage. Some of the disadvantages of dating a divorced woman are:

• Commitment and trust issues: If a woman has gone through a devastating divorce then she might exhibit commitment and trust issues which will make it hard to attract a divorcee
• The past may haunt her: Past memories might come to haunt your present relationship with her at any point in time so approach a divorced woman with lots of care and attention
• Emotionally fragile: A divorced woman can be emotionally unpredictable at times. Remember she has a deep fear of intimacy after divorce so this could become troublesome for you

Related Reading: 15 Things Divorced People Should Know When Getting Into New Relationships

Pursuing a divorced woman with a child

Pursuing a divorced woman who has a child can be very challenging and complicated, but with determination and the right intentions, you can successfully start dating the woman of your dreams. And when you do, you will also have to win over her children. The mind of a divorced woman is fiercely protective over her heart and that of her children. 

Remember that in this situation, you’re pursuing not only a woman who is divorced but also one who is a single mom. Dating a single mom successfully means reassuring her that you will be a positive influence on her child. Remember, to a divorcee, her child will always be her top priority. She will only introduce you to her child if she is certain that the relationship is stable and will last. Simply introducing you to her kids as more than a friend is a giant leap of faith for her and a clear sign of her seriousness. Use this opportunity to get to know her kid and plan outings that involve her child/children. Once you have developed a good relationship with her child, things will become smoother in your relationship with the divorced woman as well. A divorcee appreciates a man who knows how to deal with kids.

How To Make A Divorced Woman Fall In Love With You?

Falling in love is not a straightforward task for a divorced woman. However, it is not impossible to make a divorced woman fall in love with you. All you need to do is be dedicated to her, be her pillar of support, give her the time and space she needs and try to understand her the best you can. Show her you care and make her realize that you are the right one for her and that you will stick around through the good times as well as bad. 

Show her that you care and that she is an important person in your life and her ‘status’ as a divorced woman does not make a difference to you. Let her know that you love her despite her past and that you accept her unconditionally. All this should help kick-start things between the two of you.

A divorced woman has already been through a harrowing experience. She will probably not look at a potential relationship in the same way other women would. If you are trying to attract a divorcee it is essential to understand her background and be sensitive towards her needs. We sure hope these tips help!

FAQs

How To Get Your Divorce Mediation Checklist Ready