When getting married or planning a wedding, there is enough stress to cause you worry and anxiety. How to impress your future mother-in-law is sure to be one of them. If movies and TV shows have taught you anything, it is that mother-in-laws are often ‘monster-in-laws’ who are capable of making your life a living hell.
While that might not be entirely true , impressing your new mom is still a principal feat of your newly married life. If you strike up a good relationship with her during the initial days of your marriage, you might kickstart a long-lasting friendship with her eventually.
How To Make Your Would-Be Mother-In-Law Like You
So, you’ve been going out with the man of your dreams for some time now. You understand each other, the sex has never been more awesome, you are thinking of finally settling down, but to get there, your relationship is about to enter the point of meeting the parents and impressing the in-laws.
With dry mouth, sweaty hands and cold feet, you have agreed to meet your future mother-in-law (MIL) – the most important person in the marriage who could either make your life outright miserable or turn it into a valley of roses. Are you constantly asking yourself, ”How to impress a future mother in law?” If this line of thought is giving you nightmares already, then this article is meant for you.
Before considering your MIL as a monster-in-law, give her some benefit of the doubt. Who knows, you two could become the best of pals! I know it’s a rather too rosy picture to paint in real life. But she is the one who made your man who he is. She can’t be that bad, am I right? Just learn the right way to get on her good side and you will know how to get along with your mother-in-law.
Related Reading: What to do when you meet your future MIL the first time
10 Ways To Impress Your Future Mother-In-Law
Before we get started, know that your mother-in-law is not here to judge you or humiliate you. She is only a loving mom who wants the best for her son. She might be a little set in her ways and a little more particular about what she likes in a woman, but you should not worry so much about that.
She is rough on the surface because she loves her son very much, but you can soon figure out how to make your mother-in-law happy. We give you 10 ways so that you do not get on her wrong side.
1. Do your homework
Before you take a dip in the sea, check out the water first. Gather all the information you can about what your MIL likes and dislikes from your fiancé beforehand. Do your research on the family members and friends she is touchy about or has had a complicated history with.
When you go to visit her for the first time, don’t blurt out your opinion before you know the background of something. You want to be good enough for her son but not come on too strong. One wrong move, one wrong sentence and you will have yourself a mother-in-law spoiling your life.
2. Go for relaxed, candid outings
If she is a movie buff, take her to watch a nice movie followed by dinner or lunch. If she is particular about skin and hair care, take her to a spa and have some coffee afterwards. If she is a religious person, you can take her to Sunday church!
Accompanying her to places that she likes will help break the ice. The key when navigating how to impress a future mother in law is by finding things to bond over with her. It could be getting your nails done, liking the same TV shows or enjoying the Chinese restaurant at the corner of her house.
3. Keep in touch over phone or text
It’s important to call her at frequent intervals. If she is on Whatsapp, stay in touch there too. Ask her about her health and wellbeing even when you can’t visit her personally. She will appreciate the effort. How to make your mother-in-law like you is all about letting her know that you care for her.
If she feels cared for, she will know that you are the right addition to her family. To gain her trust, you have to be there for her and love her like she is your own mom.
4. Ask for her advice
Like any parent, a mother-in-law wants to feel important and needed to her children. She wants to know that you value and respect her opinion on necessary matters. It’s not important whether you will actually take it or not, asking for her advice will make her think she matters.
If you’re wondering how to please your mother-in-law, you have to fan her ego a little bit. That way you will never have to deal with a jealous mother-in-law because she already knows that she is important to you and to her son. Making her feel secure is necessary to having a good relationship with her.
5. Be polite with her
This is an obvious one. Being snarky or sassy is going to get you nowhere. You don’t need to overdo it, but being polite with your MIL is essential. Show her your best behavior to expect a return in future. A mother-in-law also wants to know that you are on her side and are not out to get her.
How to get along with mother-in-law lies in being kind to her, helping her whenever she needs it and simply having a good attitude around her.
Related Reading: 15 Signs Your Mother-In-Law Hates You
6. Dress to impress
If she doesn’t have a modern outlook when it comes to attires, dress demurely and modestly and without showing too much skin. If you have got a tattoo, hide it skillfully. These little sacrifices can go a long way. Don’t take this in the negative sense. Instead, think about how to make your mother-in-law happy is making compromises.
While compromises are important in every relationships, you do not want to risk a life long grudge with your MIL simply because your skirt was too short. It is a small price to pay for the long run and if you ask us, you should just pay it.
7. Don’t compete
She has raised your man and it makes her possessive about him. Don’t compete with her to poke that possessiveness. This power struggle in relationships exists everywhere so don’t be alarmed when she feels a little protective of her son.
How to impress a future mother-in-law sometimes lies in backing off and letting her feel like she is the best. Compliment her home management skills and how wonderfully she cooks (even if you don’t think so). A little flattery can help you have a better relationship with her.
8. Take interest in her hobbies
You don’t need to fake it, but try to take interest in the things that interest her so that you have something to talk about other than her son and the upcoming wedding. Know that you want to foster a good relationship with her not just for the convenience, but because she really is the mother of the love of your life.
Your boyfriend probably loves her very much and a big part of loving him, is loving where he comes from. Show your mother-in-law that you are ready to be a part of the family by taking interest in the things she cares about.
9. Treat her son well
For most MILs, their son is their most prized possession. Treat him well in front of her and other family members to earn their respect. How to make a mother-in-law like you is about showing her that you will keep her son happy.
If she knows that you are the right woman for her child, she will be at ease and will be confident in your marriage.
You can gel well with your future MIL only when you are not too nervous. Confidence is the key to how to make your mother in law happy. Relax, take it slow and believe in yourself and your love. She will be as nervous about meeting you as you are. So take a chill pill and if anything goes wrong, be ready to forgive and forget.
Be honest with her and focus on showering her with nice gestures to improve relationship with your mother-in-law. Even if they are small, it will carve out a special place for you in her heart. It’s the intent that matters.
So when applying all these rules, do not forget that your heart must be in the right place too. If you are being fake, she will see right through that. How to get along with a mother-in-law is really not all that difficult when you’re positive, committed and caring.
There is lots! You should get chatting with her and find out what you have in common. Where you shop, what you like to eat, what are your favorite movies are only some things you can bond over. You can even ask her to teach you things that she is good at. Like a certain food item or knitting or any other skills she has.
Do not fret! You can eventually be good friends with her again. Show her that you are worthy of her son and that you love him and his family. If she knows you are genuine, she will forget all the petty things that she dislikes about you.