How to reassure your boyfriend about your relationship? The answer to this question lies in understanding why the reassurance is needed in the first place and what will help to fulfill that particular need. It sounds simple enough, but the answers are more complicated than that. Usually, the reasons for his insecurity, fear, or anxiety appear in statements like “He’s possessive about me” or “He is scared because of previous experiences.” The real reason that he needs reassurance might not be as simple as being jealous or a messed up relationship in the past.
It is often said, “Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud.” Men who have insecurities are often defensive and overcompensate – whether in action or words. A man like this is more likely to deny it if someone calls him an ‘insecure boyfriend.’ It’s fine to reassure your partner about his anxiety if the need arises. But when your guy goes a step further and has to be pacified for everything that goes beyond his control, then it’s important to get help.
Can You Assure Someone Of Your Love?
Yes, you can assure someone of your love. There are infinite words of reassurance for him that will do the magic of building a healthy and romantic relationship. Is reassurance important in a relationship? Yes. Very much so. But when to provide relationship assurance to your partner? Here are some instances where you will have to use reassuring statements:
- When you are dating someone who needs constant reassurance, or when you have an insecure boyfriend/girlfriend
- When your partner is someone who likes a flow of healthy communication to keep the relationship smooth and harmonious
- When there have been relationship problems in the past, and you’re both still recovering from the bad phase
- During the times when your partner is likely to feel vulnerable and low
- When you want to make him feel safe and loved on a regular basis, or after having upset him
- When your partner tells you they feels unloved and unappreciated
- When your partner has insecure or anxious attachment styles
- When you are trying to rebuild your relationship after instances of infidelity
- When you are trying to get back together after taking a relationship break
- When you want to reassure each other after an argument
- When you’re in an open or polyamorous relationship, giving regular assurances is a healthy and loving habit
You can send a reassurance message for him and make it clear that there is nobody else in your life you would rather be with. You have to be genuine and honest. You can’t play with words and his heart at the same time.
Examples Of Reassurance In Relationships
Being in love and making someone feel your love are the two of the most gratifying experiences of life. When you make your love transparent with the help of some examples of reassurance in a relationship, the two of you will develop a stronger bond. Listed below are some unique examples to reassure your partner after an argument or in your everyday life:
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1. Make loving eye contact
They say that to read someone’s mind, you have to look into their eyes. If your partner wants to feel special in his daily interactions, use your eyes. Look into your partner’s eyes, hold his gaze, and don’t break eye contact when he is communicating with you. So, how to reassure your partner? Provide him the relationship reassurance he is looking for by letting him read the love in your eyes.
2. Buy him flowers
This is one of the best examples of reassurance in a relationship. You don’t even have to use your words of affirmation. All you have to do is buy some flowers and hand them over to your boyfriend with a peck on his lips or cheek, and a smile on your face. Miley Cyrus is right when she says I can buy myself flowers, but giving them to someone with love leaves a lasting impact as well.
3. Spend quality time together
Let him know he is your priority by spending quality time together. This thoughtful gesture can include playing board games together or asking him meaningful questions to get to know him better. You can also play some light games like ‘truth or dare’ or snuggle up and watch a movie together.
4. Tap into his love language
If he’s scared of infidelity, then there is no better way to reassure your boyfriend you won’t cheat than indulging in his love language every day. If he loves to receive physical affection, then hold his hand and kiss it whenever you are sitting together, or cuddle with him. If he loves thoughtful and romantic gestures, then buy inexpensive gifts for him that mark your love for each other through an inside joke or a sentimental memory. If he likes to seek reassurance through acts of service, then do some chores on his behalf, make his morning coffee the way he likes it, or cook for him once in a while.
5. How to reassure your partner? Support him all the way
Everyone in the world wants to be supported by their partner. Your boyfriend is no different. Reassure your boyfriend you won’t cheat or leave him during his difficult times by being a rock for him. Be his personal cheerleader and become his best friend. Encourage him to practice self-love.
18 Things To Say To Reassure Your Boyfriend About Your Relationship
Alexander Pope said, “To err is human,” in the eighteenth century. However, in today’s world, “To be insecure and have crippling anxiety is human” would be the right idiom. Everybody feels the need for reassurance at some point in time. Even the most secure people experience moments of insecurity and anxiety. There’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of while seeking some validation.
So, how to reassure your partner? To answer this, one must consider that insecurity in a person is not a result of external factors around them. It’s a response from the person to certain events in their life. A major feeling that results from insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy. Psychologists say that insecure men often believe that others do not respect their knowledge or opinions. Insecure people think or rather obsess over what others think about them. Dealing with insecure people needs effort, probably more so than in any of your other relationships, but love is complicated. And worth it. When you love someone, reassuring them is not just about building their self-esteem, it’s also about strengthening your bond with them.
Related Reading: 13 Reasons To Never Take Back An Ex Who Dumped You
1. I love you
An insecure boyfriend needs constant reassurance that his partner loves him. Blame it on low self-esteem, neglected or abusive childhood, or any other less extreme factor, but timely reassurances will slowly help him leave those demons behind. Knowing how to reassure your partner that you love him comes easier with practice. Saying “I love you” the first time can be daunting, but could do the trick when you have fallen in love with him and his feelings can finally be reciprocated.
2. I need you
One of the things that is often assumed in the relationship is the need for one’s partner. But it is important to communicate the emotion. “I need you” could mean different things to different people. Sometimes, it communicates the emotional intimacy one already has in the relationship, other times it communicates the companionship they crave. These are the best words of reassurance for him if validation is a critical emotional need for him in a relationship.
3. You’re the only one for me
Confessing your sole interest in your boyfriend is another way you could reassure him. He will read it as a sign that he has a faithful and loyal partner, especially if he values monogamy. This is our simple note on how to reassure your boyfriend you won’t leave him – through expressions of loyalty. You must be empathetic toward him and begin to prioritize his role in your life. Active listening and sharing experiences could be a great start to this. You have to make him feel that he can depend upon you.
4. I can’t stop thinking about you
Telling someone that you think about them is lovely, unless it’s done by a creepy man standing in rain outside your building. When we bond with someone, it triggers a release of dopamine in the brain, a feel-good chemical. Thinking about that person triggers a dopamine response, which is why we think so much about the people we love. This dialogue will tell your partner that you care about him and that he’s constantly in your thoughts. You could also communicate this by getting some thinking-of-you gifts for your partner. If you’ve cheated on your partner before, then in this tough phase of recovery and amends, reassure your boyfriend you won’t cheat again through these words and tell him that he is the only one you wish to prioritize.
5. You make me feel like I’ve never felt before
Here’s how to reassure your boyfriend about his worth in your relationship. Tell him about the things that have improved in your life and within you by being in a relationship with him. Tell him that you’ve seen how life changes for the better when you’re dating someone as special as him. Your life feels more hopeful because you’re in love with your partner. Share that feeling and let him know that he’s responsible for making you feel that way.
6. I don’t want to change anything about you
Love is not sincere if it comes with conditions or strings. The need for privacy or independence is understandable. Conditions that instruct a person to be a certain way or think in a certain manner are nothing more than a cold agreement. If you want to know how to reassure your partner you won’t leave him, then tell him that you don’t want to change anything about him. It is an example of unconditional love, and being loved by someone unconditionally is nothing short of a treasure.
7. You make me proud to be your partner
We live in a world where everyone is told to go through the grind to earn their place. In such a scenario, being told that someone is proud of us is great motivation. Tell him you’re proud of his efforts and how hard he tries to keep you happy. This will do wonders where validation is concerned for your insecure boyfriend. Regardless of how ‘trivial’ or huge their achievements are, make his big and small moments more memorable by using such words of reassurance for him.
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8. You look amazing
Another way insecurity manifests in a person is self-deprecation. People who have been conditioned to believe outdated ideas of beauty often rank themselves as unattractive. This may result in them being extra careful with their looks or clothes. They rarely relax, even in a casual setting. An insecure boyfriend will often obsess over the reason you’re with him since he thinks you are more attractive than him.
These thoughts, if not curbed, can lead to overwhelming jealousy or withdrawal. If you want to know how to reassure your boyfriend about his looks, tell him often that he is an attractive guy. A lot more attractive than he gives himself credit for. Compliment him sincerely and tell him you love everything about the way he looks.
9. You heal me
Love is great because it makes us want to be better people. Everyone is carrying some sort of emotional baggage from the past, either from childhood, relationships, or traumatic events. But being with the right person can help in overcoming those barriers from your earlier life. Tell your boyfriend how he has helped you move on from the past and that you trust him on your journey of ups and downs. You can also reassure your boyfriend after an argument that the way he handled and resolved the conflict, and held space for you, made you feel safe. This is one of the examples of reassurance in a relationship.
10. Why didn’t I meet you earlier?
A rhetorical question that will always earn a smile as an answer. Though it’s no one’s fault, because it’s a matter of fate or chance or the inner workings of the universe, yet it tells him how grateful you are for his presence in your life. Another note on how to reassure your partner with something concrete is to say it with a customized sentimental gift for your boyfriend that will melt his heart.
11. I can’t imagine my life without you
Telling your guy that you do not think of him as a mere option in your life is a big deal. You are telling him that he is not one of the many you chose from just because he had the best body or could cook well. Tell him that he’s the person whom you connect with spiritually and emotionally and that in him, you have found your soulmate. If you are dating someone who needs constant reassurance, then you can convey your true feelings through this powerful statement.
12. I miss you every day
Now, here’s one for long-distance partners, who might be looking for tips on how to reassure your boyfriend that you love him and miss him when he is away. Though you can make use of romantic ‘miss you’ messages for your SO, saying it directly to him on phone or in letters (if you’re an old-world romantic) works better. Tell him how much you crave his presence around you and that his absence is difficult for you to bear. Do not underestimate the importance of conveying your longing. Ballads, movies, plays, and songs, you can’t imagine the amount of art that has been created around this sentiment.
13. You make me a better person
Though it is said that love shouldn’t require one to change, love does encourage a person to become a better version of themselves. When you tell him that he has inspired you to become a better person and partner, you’re telling him that not only do you want yourself to grow in this relationship, but dating him is like having found tips to be a better lover.
Also, if your relationship has gone through the storms of your infidelity, and you’re wondering how to reassure your boyfriend after cheating on him, then you must tell him you want to become a better person for him. Many apologies and amends will follow, but this repeated sentiment might just help you heal your broken relationship.
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14. I’m so sorry
It is important to acknowledge your mistakes in a healthy relationship. Unresolved conflicts can be sources of stress that may drive a wall between you two. Reassure your partner after an argument by genuinely apologizing for the things you said in the heat of the moment. “Sorry” is also an admission of regret for causing your significant other pain, even if it was unintentional.
Here’s how to reassure your boyfriend after you’ve made a big mistake and hurt him – Give a sincere apology and tell your partner that you’re aware of the hurt you’ve caused him and that you will not repeat the act in the future. Acknowledge what you did, and its emotional and long-term impact on him. Make the repairs. You can even use cute little ways to say sorry after a fight, like a note in his bag or a drawing of you two together with you passing a balloon to him that says ‘sorry.’
15. I want to meet you as often as we can
Confessing a desire to meet your partner often is a way of telling him that you love him, you need him, and you’re committed to him. People with the fear of commitment often find ways to excuse themselves from meeting their dates/partners. This sends the latter into a state of confusion, and that’s exactly what you can avoid by reassuring your boyfriend that you love and enjoy spending time with him.
16. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me
It always feels great when someone acknowledges and appreciates one’s presence in their life. Especially when one’s suffering from self-doubt. Saying that he is the reason your life feels so good will brighten up his day. Starting a day with such a positive acknowledgment will give him the confidence to take on any challenge. If you want to know how to reassure your boyfriend when he’s low, tell him he has made you the happiest you’ve ever been in your life. This will rejuvenate him.
17. Your love is all I need/I would be so happy to take care of you
Of course, we are all a bit materialistic and love is never the complete solution. You need money to survive. But if he’s going through a rough financial patch, saying these statements along with promising him that you will work out the problems together will be a great relief to him. Insecure men who are conditioned to cater to the traditional role of a breadwinner may find it difficult to become dependent on their partners. Many might consider it the end of their relationship if they are unable to fulfill that role anymore.
Assure him that you will take care of him if the need arises. Talk about outdated gender roles and tell him that together, you can overcome any financial stress in the relationship. One of the root causes of anxiety is feeling unloved and unacknowledged. Make him realize that his love is all you need and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
18. Reassure your partner with anxiety by saying, “I want to grow old with you”
No one can predict the future. This unpredictability can lead to an overwhelming panic in someone with anxiety. In such cases, you can provide him with the certainty that you envision a future with him. Since commitment is a big step in any relationship, you’re telling him that you find him trustworthy to invest in a long-term dynamic with him. If you’ve shied away from relationships previously, then this will be a comforting sign for your partner that you’re ready to marry him.
- Giving reassurance to your partner is very important in a romantic relationship
- You can reassure your boyfriend with the help of the words given above or you can assure him by buying flowers or using any of his love languages
- Saying simple words like “I love you” and “I need you” are enough to make your partner feel special and loved. You can also write him a poem and let them know that he is treasured
How to reassure your partner with anxiety? By building a strong communication channel with him. But do remember that reassurances are only good if they can help ease one’s insecurity. At Bonobology, we have an extensive panel of experienced counselors to help in your journey of managing your anxiety. If you find yourself in a vicious circle where his insecurity keeps getting worse and you’re constantly pulling reassurances, then the relationship may not work out. He must work on his fears and worries without depending so much on you, and you must remember to be there as a calming presence as he works through it all.
This article has been updated in February 2023.
Reassurance can come in the form of words in some relationships whereas in other relationships, it may look like acts of service and giving each other thoughtful and romantic gifts. Spending quality time together is one of the ways to reassure your partner you won’t cheat, lie, or break their heart intentionally.
It is completely normal to seek reassurance from your partner because there are times when we feel low. This could be because of external circumstances like job stress or frictions with a family member/friend. Whatever the reason for your sadness, a few reassuring words from your partner will help you feel a lot better during such troubled times. It is also normal because it makes your relationship stronger and more loving.