Going through a breakup is one of the toughest things one has to face in life, because getting hurt when you are in love is no cakewalk. So, when you are overwhelmed by your emotions and find it difficult to verbally put your thoughts across to your loved one, writing it all down might prove to be easier. A letter for breaking up with someone you love is one of the best possible solution to avoid an extreme confrontation and endless drama.
The more you love someone, the harder it is to find the right words to say to end it. So writing down your feelings might just be one of the better solutions that can help you find closure in a more dignified way. A text or a breakup phone call can be too impersonal for a person whom you love and might come across as being rude. Hence, a letter for breaking up with your love will not only make it very personal, but will also add more value to the effort you put in.
18 Sample Letters For Breaking Up With Someone You Love
How do you even write a good enough letter for breaking up with someone you love, that includes all the things you want to put across to your partner? The best and simplest solution to this is to be as honest as possible and to keep it simple. Avoid over-explaining yourself or going out of your way to drive the point home lest things get confusing.
An overflow of emotions might be making it hard for you to compose a well-written, goodbye emotional breakup letter to someone you love, so the samples listed below can be your guide in writing a breakup letter.
Though it surely needs to be written from a personal perspective, these samples can help you through the process of getting it all out by putting everything down on paper.
1. Breakup letter for someone who hurt you
All breakups are emotional but it makes it worse when you are trying to write a breakup letter to someone who has hurt you. How do you write a letter when there are these overwhelming mix of emotions where you are hurt, but you also still love the wonderful person that they are? Writing a breakup letter in such cases has to be really firm and carefully crafted because you want to end things the right way.
I have tried to get over the fact that you kept hurting me so much in the past few months. I tried to explain the situation and my problems to you on multiple occasions, but you were barely there to listen.
Your emotional and physical unavailability when I attempted to deal with all our problems has hurt me. The way you invalidate everything that I share with you and always neglect my emotions is harming me.
Your lack of effort in making the relationship work is something that I no longer want to build a future around. So, today, I have chosen to move on from this emotionally abusive relationship and try to make a better future for myself. I deserve someone who values me more than you ever did. I am sorry that I am ending things with you but I need to prioritize myself and my mental health over everything else.
I wish you all the best for all your future endeavors.
2. Breakup letter when you are not ready to commit
How do you tell your partner that you are not mentally ready for a long-term commitment? There is hardly any easy way to do it, but composing a letter for breaking up with the love of your life in order to bare it all might just help to ease the way. Here is a little example of a letter when you are not ready to commit.
I am sorry that we think so differently about relationships and commitment. I know how badly you want to be in a long-term relationship with someone who is committed to you and the bond you share.
But currently, I have different future plans. I am dealing with a lot in my life and I am just not ready to commit to anyone now. You believe in marriage and a stable relationship, and I want to live every day as it comes, both of us are going on two different paths which can’t lay the foundation of any relationship. I think it would be best if we avoid blame games and go our separate ways before hurting each other even more.
Even though we have had some really sweet memories to hold on to, I believe it is best to remain friends for now. Know that you are a beautiful person and you will always hold a special place in my heart.
Warmth and love
3. An honest letter for when you have fallen in love with someone else
The situation gets really messy in a relationship when you have fallen in love with someone else and have no clue how to say it face to face. In such a case, you decide to write them a breakup letter, but how do you really go about it?
There’s no better or easy way to put this, so I am just going to say it. For the past few weeks, I have been talking to someone else and I have started developing romantic feelings for them. I know that no matter what I say, there is no apology that can make the situation right.
I’m so sorry for causing you pain, I never wanted that. I’ve tried to fight my feelings for this person, but I’m unable to. I don’t want to cheat you in any way since it would not be fair to all the beautiful memories we have shared for so many years.
I do not think there is any way that our relationship can work when I see myself having romantic feelings for a new person. You deserve someone who will give you their all, because you are a beautiful person inside out.
I am sorry for ending it like this. I hope you forgive me.
4. A sentimental letter for when you think love has faded
Many a time you might feel stuck in your relationship when you think love has faded and there is no way forward. How do you write a letter for breaking out of a loveless relationship, without hurting them any more than they already are?
I feel like our love has faded over time and our relationship has run its course. I know it may feel like it’s sudden but I have been fighting this for a while. My attempts to fall back in love and rekindle the passion I once felt have failed. I will always respect and cherish the love we shared because it was life-changing for me, but I have to move on. It is better that we end things while we can still remain friends, instead of faking and dragging the relationship anymore.
5. A sensitive letter for when you are in a long-distance relationship
When you are in a long-distance relationship, all the effort you need to put in to keep the love and relationship alive through virtual mediums can take a toll on your relationship. And, sometimes, the distance can become so unbearable that you might decide to break up.
If you are composing a letter breaking up with your long-distance partner, you have to be extremely sensitive while writing it.
There are no bounds to the love we share, and I don’t think I have ever loved someone so much before you. But the constant physical distance between us and the staying apart for months on end, only to meet on video calls now and then, is not how I want my life to be.
I want to be able to come back home to the person I love. I want to stay together, be physically close, to see a happy ending. Our current circumstances and problems of long-distance relationships have become too much for me to handle.
So, as horrible as this feels, I think it is time we say our goodbyes and end this relationship before it becomes harder than it already is.
Hugs and kisses
6. A hard-hitting letter when your partner has cheated on you
When you are cheated on by your partner, the hurt can take over your mind, leaving you numb. But the letter below may just be able to guide you through the process.
I am still in shock and can’t figure out why you did what you did. I kept blaming myself for your unfaithfulness and felt that I was not enough for you. But today, I stop blaming myself for your failing, and I will put myself first and end this right here.
I do not think I will be able to forgive you any time soon, so don’t try to contact me. Please allow me to heal in peace.
7. A breakup letter for a toxic relationship
Even when there is a lot of love, a relationship can become toxic for many reasons. Often, there is no way to fix such toxic relationships. How do you articulate a letter for breaking up with someone you are in love with, but who is not good for you as a person?
I think even though we have a lot of love to share, we don’t believe in the same things. We are the wrong fit for each other, bringing out the worst in one another.
It is becoming extremely difficult to live like this. This abusive relationship and the toxic habits it has developed are not allowing us to grow as humans and I think it is time we go separate ways and start the process of healing separately.
8. A compassionate letter for a partner with addiction
When you date an addict, there are many unforeseen situations that no one can prepare you for and they end up taking a toll on you. Addiction severely affects relationships and the mental well-being of the people in it. So, how do you respectfully get out of such a relationship and stop hurting yourself?
Here is a letter for breaking up with someone whom you love but can’t stay with because of their addiction.
My dear <name>,
There are not enough words to describe how much I love you and want to be there for you to help you get through your addiction. But I don’t have it in me anymore to provide you with the level of emotional support you need and deserve to get better and live a sober life.
I know how hard you are trying to get better and I don’t want to hold you back due to my lack of emotional capacity. I think we should end this here, before either or both of us end up getting hurt.
I know you’ll overcome your addiction some day, with or without me. Lots of love.
9. An apology breakup letter when you hurt your partner
In life, you unwittingly end up hurting the people you love, sometimes so much that there is no turning back from it. Here is a goodbye emotional breakup letter to boyfriend to help you see such a breakup through.
I have no words to justify why I did what I did, so, I won’t try to explain myself and make it worse than it already is.
All I can say is that I am sorry. No matter how I wish I could go back in time to make the relationship work, I really can’t. I know you deserve so much better than this.
I think we should end things now so that I don’t hurt you even more by being near you.
10. Breakup letter for an abusive partner
When your partner manipulates or gaslights you, it becomes harder to speak up for yourself. You could be seeing and dealing with the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship but still find it difficult to get out. Writing down your feelings in the form of a letter can often be a safer option when you are dealing with an abusive partner.
Here is how you write a breakup letter to someone who has hurt you to let them know about the abuse and trauma they made you live through.
When your romantic partner gaslights and manipulates you, it can be hard to come to terms with and even harder to leave. But I feel I have lived in this toxic cycle of loving you and getting abused in return for way too long, and it has really messed up my mental health.
I need to get out of this toxic relationship right now and this is the last you will hear from me. I hope you respect my wishes for once and don’t try to make it worse than it already is.
11. Breakup letter for when you lose respect for your partner
Respect is one of the core pillars of any relationship, whether romantic or otherwise. So, it is wise to get out of a relationship where your partner has no respect for you, your opinions, and your choices. Want to write a breakup letter that tells your partner exactly that? Here is how.
I know we started off our relationship expecting a happy ending. But, over time, I have realized how unfairly you treat me. You do not respect my choices, laugh away my opinions, and don’t think my career choices matter.
The way you treat your partner’s family shows how much respect you have for them. Your demeaning ways have made me lose all the love I had for you. I see no way forward for us and I think it would be best to put an end to it now.
All the best for your life ahead.
Related Reading: Men vs Women – 5 Differences In How They Handle A Breakup
12. A breakup letter for an overly possessive partner
Living with an excessively possessive partner can be very claustrophobic and eventually lead to a lot of self-doubt for you. Wondering how you can write a letter to assert your opinion about the relationship and end it for good? Here is an example of a letter for breaking up with a person whom you once loved but now you don’t because they became overly possessive.
I have been looking back at our time together for a while now and have constantly felt that your constant lack of trust in me is not healthy. Your doubt in me has me questioning my own actions and in the long run it has affected my self-confidence.
The way you question me about every person I meet or talk to is not healthy and this relationship needs to end now. I don’t want to end up living in a pool of self-doubt as a consequence of the way you make me feel due to your possessiveness and controlling nature.
I wish you luck.
13. A sensitive breakup letter for sexual incompatibility
Even when both partners have a lot of love to offer, sometimes sexual incompatibility becomes a major issue in a long-term relationship. Here is an example of how you can write a letter for breaking up with someone you love, but also can’t stay with due to sheer sexual incompatibility.
I cherish the bond and love that we share, but I truly believe that we are not sexually compatible as partners. The sexual tension is becoming increasingly harder for me to navigate around this problem anymore.
Our approach to physical needs is very different and it has caused a lot of dissatisfaction for both of us. There is no point in dragging this on because for a long-term relationship to work, we need to be comfortable on all fronts with each other.
I love you and I really hope you find someone better suited for you. I wish you all the best.
14. An honest breakup letter for incompatibility of future plans
It hurts when your plans for your career affect your relationship of all things. But it can be tough when you are someone who wants to enjoy the other areas of life beyond work while your partner is a workaholic.
If your relationship has come to a screeching halt because you have different future plans, here’s how you can end it with a letter:
It breaks my heart to write this, but I am afraid that our career goals are too dramatically different to ever let us live together.
I respect the fact that you want to achieve big things in life and want to earn millions and are working so hard to do so. But I am not someone who can be swallowed up by their career and give up on a normal life. I hope you understand what I am trying to say here and forgive me for ending things like this.
I wish you all the best and sincerely hope you realize your goals some day.
15. A breakup letter for a partner who is lying to you
When you realize that your partner has been lying to you and you think it is affecting your relationship, there is nothing wrong in choosing to break up. When you think the trust has faded, you can move on by writing this honest letter for breaking up with your partner that lets them know your feelings:
I hate to do this in writing, but I could hardly bring myself to say this in person. I know that you have been lying to me for the past 6 months about your ex-husband.
I don’t think there is any part of me that wants to deal with a lying partner. I can’t convince myself to be with you anymore. Even though I love you, I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone I can’t trust.
16. A breakup letter when you need me-time to heal
When your past trauma is affecting your present relationship and you realize you need to take time for yourself to heal, it is better you make your partner aware of your thoughts and to do it with compassion.
Related Reading: How To Get Over Someone You Love Deeply – 9 Steps To Follow
Lately, I have started to accept that I have not recovered from the trauma of the romantic relationship I was in before I was with you.
I think I should take some time off from our relationship and work on my mental health, to heal and be a better person for both you and myself. I believe that if it is meant to be, then we will surely cross paths again.
I love you. Take care.
17. A breakup letter when there is a lack of appreciation
When your partner makes you feel unworthy and pretends to be better than you, it is not a good sign. Maybe you have tried everything. But no matter what you do for them, it doesn’t seem to remind them of your worth. When your partner does not value you, you need to let them know why it is bothering you even as you choose to end the relationship. Here is a letter for breaking up with someone you love, someone who does not appreciate you.
I have been thinking about saying this to you for a while now. I don’t feel valued when I am around you. Your need to constantly make me feel small about myself in order to make yourself feel better is toxic and is hurting me.
This pain you have caused me is making me constantly doubt myself and forget my worth. I think it is time we say our goodbyes and move on from this relationship.
18. Breakup letter for when you have different ideas of family
When you are in a serious, long-term relationship, you tend to start working together on building your idea of a family. But what makes up a family for you may not be the same thing for them. This can be enough cause for people to part ways, especially when the question of babies is involved.
While some married couples choose not to have kids and are happy in their relationship, not every couple may be able to agree on this. The consequent disagreements can put a lot of pressure on your relationship and mental health. So, here is a simple letter for breaking up with someone you are deeply in love with but can’t hold on to, due to your incompatible ideas of family.
I know we have been discussing having kids and a family for a while now. I can see how excited you are about that, but I am so scared to tell you that I don’t want to have kids. Not now, not ever.
I know my decision to not have kids will break your heart but I think it would be best if we end this cordially and try to find partners whose ideas of a family match with ours. I hope you understand.
There is hardly any way to make a breakup easier for anyone but writing your words down in the form of a letter may help you articulate your thoughts a little better.
You must also remember that no breakup or relationship is simple and there may be some conversations that you need to have even after you do send the letter. But the letter will still help you start the conversation and hopefully help put an emphasis on your emotions and your reasons behind breaking up.
- Breaking up with a partner whom you still love can be intimidating and emotionally draining, to say the least
- Writing a letter to break up with your partner can give you an easy way out without aggravating the pain and hurt for either of you
- Be honest in your approach and avoid falling in the trap of over-explanation
- Let your partner know your thoughts in the breakup letter, apologize to them for any hurt that the breakup might cause, and end the relationship on cordial terms, wishing the best for them
This piece has been updated in January 2023.
Writing a breakup letter to someone you love isn’t easy. But sometimes writing down the painful words may prove easier than saying them. Just make sure you are considerate of your own feelings and theirs as much as possible. Honesty is definitely the best policy in this case.
A good breakup message is honest. There should be no room for ambiguity. Don’t end up giving them hope and stringing them along by mistake. A clean cut is definitely ideal. Try not to go out of your way to be hurtful, because the words may come back to haunt you later. But if they did you wrong, you don’t have to hide that either.