Coming out has to be done
Coming out has always been a way to let others know about your sexuality. Of course, you never come out if you are straight since that’s “normal”, a convenient term used by many. Coming out, on the other hand, is a very personal thing for people from the queer spectrum. Not necessarily an act of compulsion, but more like an act of letting others know that “Yes, I am queer and it’s okay to be so”. The person coming out shouldn’t feel uncomfortable, ideally, but it’s not the case for many who come out and suffer dire consequences. I have heard a lot of stories about coming out and there are a few which need to be shared here.
As a vlogger, I used YouTube to come out
I was once a shy person who liked to talk about movies with people who didn’t care enough to talk to me. But I felt lonely, and I always felt this urge to talk about movies. So, I started making videos on YouTube which got decent views and my fans loved me when I spoke about things or issues in general. I never had any reason to come out specifically, as I never thought that it was necessary for me to do so. I lived my life the way I wanted and it gave me ample space for me and my creativity. The lack of communication between me and the world outside always created hurdles and I started to learn the ways of being transparent. I learned that being transparent will help me become brave.
I learned that being transparent will help me become brave.
So I decided to come out on YouTube. I recorded the video and edited the whole thing. It felt silly, but I was anxious about the whole thing. I then made a broadcast list and sent the link to my video to each of my friends and family members. And the rest is history.
I announced it via a blog link on Facebook
I like to write blogs and I have always been an avid reader. My blog mostly talked about books and movies or music. I liked boys and I never thought that it was quite a big thing that needs to be “hidden”. So I devised a plan to come out. I wrote an open letter on my blog and put that link up on my Facebook page. I invited my friends to read it. The reception was mostly positive, but it didn’t matter anyway. I wasn’t looking for validation, just saying something that needed to be said. It’s already hard enough to stay in this heteronormative community and I had to put my foot down. I did and I am happy about it. I love my friends and they love me too. I’m glad to have come out like this. I thank the Internet too.
I got very negative reactions when I came out
“Girls like girls”: This is being fetishised by men to the point that they think that sexuality is like a T-shirt that can be worn according to your convenience. I knew that I would get a lot of flak if I came out as a lesbian. Being a girl is hard enough already and now a queer woman? But I did it anyway. I made a long post on Facebook and I publicly came out. Everyone, from my family to friends, started commenting. I even got calls. My mom started screaming, but I pulled myself through that shit storm. I was rebellious and I never got diverted. I did what I felt like and I had no regrets. Things are easier now, but coming out was a tough nut to crack. I am gay and I know it’s okay.
Why I love my family so much
I love my family and we always discussed everything openly. From politics to gender issues, we talk a lot. And I never felt that my family was homophobic. So, I thought that I would ask my family out for dinner and take them someplace nice. That wasn’t the only motive, since I also wanted to come out. I did once the waiter stopped serving and my family replied to that by saying “We know” and we all broke down in laughter. I had a great time that day and I am glad to have a family like that.
Coming out is indeed a tough nut to crack, but it gets cracked either way. You are who you are, because “Baby, you are born this way!”