11 Signs He Is Talking To Someone Else

Relationship Advice | | , Expert Blogger
Updated On: February 15, 2024
signs he is talking to someone else

It’s not easy to look for signs he is talking to someone else in a romantic or sexual capacity, because people can be very proficient at hiding such things. Life is full of temptations. While you are busy with work, there are chances your partner is seeing someone else. Or maybe the two of you have just started dating and you want to know if you’re the only one he’s interested in. Or perhaps you and your partner have been in a long-term relationship but now you are suspicious of him as you’ve seen the signs he’s talking to another girl through text and calls.

Whatever the reason might be, we are here to give you all the unmissable signs he is talking to someone else. Women have strong intuitions and they are rarely wrong. So, if you feel it in your gut that your boyfriend is up to some shenanigans behind your back, then it’s time to unravel the mystery and know if your partner is talking to someone else. 

11 Signs He Is Talking To Someone Else 

Unlike your humble writer, please don’t be the last one to know about your partner’s infidelity and emotional cheating. It’s one thing when a man loses interest but it’s entirely different when he loses interest in you by focusing on another person. In my opinion, it’s no less than cheating. A man may think he’s being sneaky and smart about it, but just like a criminal leaves behind evidence at a crime scene, a man also leaves behind many signs. Read below and find out all the signs he is talking to someone else.

1. He always has plans but never with you

How do you know if he’s texting another girl? Well, make a mental note of how many times he meets his friends in a week. If he is always bailing on you to meet his friends, then it’s one of the signs your guy is avoiding you and he is talking to someone else. He could be dating this person already. There is no better explanation than this. 

If he avoids spending time with you, then how are you going to have a stronger connection? He is either bored of you or he is dating others. If you want to test your boyfriend’s love for you, then ask him to spend quality time with you at least twice a week, just like he does with his friends. If he can’t do the bare minimum to keep you happy, then it’s certain that he doesn’t really care about you.

Related Reading: What To Do When He Ghosts You And Comes Back

2. He is overprotective about his phone

If your boyfriend is overprotective about his phone, then there are chances he is cheating on you. Has he refused to share his lock screen passcode with you? Or has he changed his password recently? If either of the answers is yes, then it’s one of the signs he’s talking to another girl through text. If you want to know how to catch a cheating partner, then notice how he protects his phone.

If your boyfriend strategically angles his phone in such a way that you can’t even catch a glimpse of his screen, that’s when you know something is wrong. Having said that, in no way do I condone checking someone’s phone without their permission because each is entitled to their privacy. You just have to be smart about this and trust your gut. If he doesn’t let you peek at his phone when he is using it, or doesn’t allow you to use his phone to make a simple call, then it’s time to sit down and talk to him about it. 

3. He is inconsistent with you 

You see him texting away during the quality time

If you want to sustain a relationship, consistency is the key. Inconsistency is one of the dating red flags because there is no other way to establish a sense of stability in relationships without consistency. You need to be sure you can rely on your partner regardless of the situation. But if your partner is inconsistent with you, while he seems to be pretty consistent with everyone else, then it’s one of the signs he is talking to someone else.

Now, how do you know if he’s texting another girl? Does he seem to be on his phone quite a lot, even when he’s with you? He can’t text you back, but you see him texting away during the ‘quality time’ he came to spend with you. If they love you, they will find time to call you, text you, or drop you an email. A man who is inconsistent will reach out to you only when he wants to. It’s all about his needs and wants. His mixed signals will drive you crazy. His hot and cold attitude will mess up with your head. 

4. He doesn’t discuss future plans with you

If you aren’t an exclusive couple, then you need not worry about this point. However, if he gave you a commitment and now suddenly seems to be silent about the relationship forecast, then it’s one of the definite signs he is talking to someone else. Identify fake relationships by getting to know his future plans. Maybe he is confused between you and the other girl he is communicating with.

When he doesn’t talk about the future with you, then you don’t have one together. It’s as simple as that. If you are the only one he is interested in, then he should be excited about sharing his life with you. This is where communication plays a big role. If you want a future with him, sit down and talk about it. Don’t be unresponsive to his behavior or ignore his passive attitude. 

Related Reading: 9 Expert Backed Strategies To Handle Rejection From A Guy

5. You don’t exist in his social media anymore

If, in a committed relationship, he hasn’t posted a single picture of you on his social media accounts, but posts updates with his friends and family, then you are right to wonder, “Is he dating others?” It’s one of the evident signs he is talking to someone else, because why would someone who is dating a bunch of people or more than one person make it Instagram official with one person? It falls on you to be smart and not get entangled in a web of lies. 

Not everyone is obsessed with social media, but that’s not the point here. Relationships and Instagram go hand in hand, that’s why it becomes important to post about your partner on social media when the two of you have been seeing each other for a long time. The point is to let the world know you have a special person in your life. If he posts regularly but chooses to keep you out of his account, then it’s a deliberate act which needs to be sorted out. 

infographic on signs he is talking to someone else
Signs he is talking to someone else

6. He is still using dating apps

How do you know if he’s texting another girl or boy? The answer lies in dating apps. You need to find out if your partner is cheating online. It’s one thing to use them when you aren’t official and serious about each other yet. But when the two of you are committed and have embarked on a new journey, then you need to know if your partner is talking to someone else on these dating apps. 

The purpose of these apps is to meet new people and date them. To use dating apps while being with someone else is quite disrespectful. If monogamy is what you expected from him, you need to acknowledge this issue and address your concern. It’s obvious he’s not sure about you if he is still using dating sites to talk to other people. 

7. Communication with him has broken down 

When we love someone, we want to know everything that happened with them throughout the day. We want the details, not because we are inquisitive, but because we love them and want to know all the good and bad that happened with them in those 24 hours. When there is less or no communication at all, then along with the above indicators, it’s one of the signs he is talking to someone else.

There is less or no communication at all

Lack of communication in a relationship can lead to a lot of problems. It wreaks havoc. If he is not telling you anything or sharing what’s happening in his life, then he might be sharing with someone else. This wide communication gap will push him toward other people. 

Fix communication issues by listening to what he has to say and understand him. Maybe that will stop him from seeing others. You need to bridge this gap first if you want to know if your partner is talking to someone else. Build a safe space for each other where healthy communication matters. 

8. You have strong suspicion of him cheating on you

Cheating is one of the things I hope you never have to go through. When you suspect your partner is cheating, don’t make the mistake of accusing him instead of inquiring more about it. Before you break his things and thrash his phone, delve deeper into your doubts and find out the truth because there are only two ways about it: he is either cheating or you are paranoid about it.

When you directly accuse partners of cheating without any proof, then you will end up looking impulsive and paranoid. Gather evidence and be certain before confronting him with this issue. Once you are sure about his infidelity, then you need to know how to react when he is seeing someone else romantically or sexually. It’s a heartbreaking thing to have found out. Take your time to process this information first. Whether you want to pursue the relationship or leave him, that’s your call. 

Is he cheating on you

9. He seems distant

When your partner starts to contact you less and seems distant, then this is one of the signs he is talking to someone else. This kind of behavior will let you know that his feelings and priorities are shifting. When two people start seeing each other, there’s a lot of eagerness to get to know one another. You two are constantly talking, but that does slow down eventually. Maybe he has checked out emotionally.

The conversations will become a matter of routine over a period of time. The experience of the mundane is common in relationships. Don’t mistake this for unhealthy. It’s the responsibility of both the parties to keep the spark alive. If things have become shallow and there are no efforts from his side, and he is always distant with his emotions, then maybe you are right to wonder, “Is he dating others?” 


10. Signs he is talking to someone else — he fights with you over silly things

Everybody, at least once, feels that their partner is driving them crazy during the course of the relationship. There are many silly and stupid things couples fight about. It’s nothing unnatural. One day you’re fighting about who does the dishes, the next day you’re bickering about their bad habits. But once you kiss and make up, all those fights don’t matter.

But when those fights keep escalating, then it’s one of the signs he is talking to someone else. My former partner consciously used to fight over silly things. He would try to make a mountain over a molehill. That was one of his cruel ways to test my limits. 

11. He isn’t affectionate with you anymore 

Every relationship starts out hot and heavy. There’s so much adrenaline and hormones at play that you can’t keep your hands off each other. When you pass that stage, you become more comfortable with your partner and the relationship deepens naturally. He is affectionate with you. He is thoughtful about you. He simply adores you. 

Lack of affection in a relationship can give birth to other relationship problems. It might lead to less sex and lesser communication. Many problems will arise which can result in a bad breakup. Once you feel that affection has disappeared, you find yourself questioning his love for you. If he is cold and distant and is on the fence with his feelings, it’s one of the signs he is talking to someone else. 

If this whole process of wanting to know if your partner is talking to someone else is taking a toll on you, then you need to talk to a trusted member of your family or friends instead of letting it get to you. If you don’t know how to react when he is seeing someone else, then Bonobology’s panel of experienced therapists can help you figure out how to manage the situation better. 

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