So, you have been waiting for that someone who is your true other half. Not better or worse, but your twin. Someone with whom you have such a soul connection that they mirror you perfectly. But how can you be sure? This new person who you have begun feeling an intense connection with, are they your soulmate, that “someone special”, or are they someone who only superficially feels like your true twin but is actually a false twin flame?
This confusion is not unexpected. In our romanticism-fueled search for that special person, we’re likely to come across a few false twin flames first before the real deal comes along. But, why do we meet false twin flames at all? Is there any significant purpose? And how does one tell the difference?
Whether you’re trying to ascertain that what you have isn’t a knock-off version of what you want, or you’re just trying to educate yourself, we’re here to tell you all you’ll ever need to know about false flame vs twin flame. After all, you should know where to spend your energy, and where to learn from and move on.
What Are False Twin Flames?
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To recognize what is a false twin flame, you first need to know what a real one would look like in your spiritual journey. Speaking on the subject, astrologer Kreena previously told Bonobology how she defines such a relationship in simple words, “Love is supposed to flow unconditionally between true flames. They are someone who completes you, someone who makes you feel whole.”
The compatibility and similarities true twins share allow them to be a perfect fit for each other. It’s the kind of relationship that people look at and go, “Wow, they were made for each other.” It’s no surprise then that such a couple always feels magnetically drawn toward each other. Such a dynamic feels predestined and features an intense spiritual, physical, and emotional connection.
On the other hand, a false twin flame is a partner you thought was your twin flame but is actually not. It’s that simple! A relationship with a false twin flame feels perfect in the beginning, but you can gradually sense the friction. In contrast to a true twin flame, where the partners harmoniously fit into each other’s lives like two complementing pieces of yin and yang, a false one can elicit remarks like, “Wow, they’re really obsessed with each other, aren’t they?” Let us look at more discernible dissimilarities between the two.
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False twin flame vs real twin flame
As you can tell by now, a false twin flame is essentially someone masking the traits of a twin flame when they’re actually not. Since such connections can also feel intense and predestined in the beginning, it’s imperative to know how to differentiate between the two so that you don’t set yourself up for a world of emotional pain. Here are the key false vs real twin flame differences:
|False Flame Connection
|True Twin Flame Bond
|There will be eventual friction in a false twin relationship no matter how it started. It will not seem easy
|The magnetic attraction between true twin flames drives one partner to the other pretty effortlessly. Most unexpected coincidences happen to bring them together
|The false twin flame obsession is more about sexual dominance and claiming the other person to be a possession
|True twin relationship is an emotional connection, and the sexual bond is just a part of a bigger divine whole where you feel valued for your individuality
|Since false flames aren’t really spiritually connected, it gives room for forces like limerence to take hold
|A spiritual relationship as pure and divine as a twin flame dynamic doesn’t rely on obsession and infatuation to make it strong
|A false twin will work as a catalyst to you fulfilling your greater purpose since they will cause “purging” in you by bringing up unhealed wounds
|Once your wounds are healed, your greater mission in this life will become apparent with your true twin, who will contribute to your mission
|False twins are also called energy vampires since they drain you mentally and physically
|Your true twin will fill you up with the energy to fulfill your creative potential. You will achieve more together than you ever did when apart
It may not feel like it in the beginning, but the point is, with a false twin, the issues will eventually slip through the cracks, weakening the entire foundation of your bond. Since your infatuated mind may be trying to convince you that what you have can in no way be fake, it’s hard to spot any red flags. In a nutshell, everything a true twin flame connection is, a false twin flame is not. This means instead of taking a false twin flame test you could take a true twin flame test instead and see if what you have is real or fake.
Are false twin flames toxic?
False twins (or even karmic relationships) are not necessarily toxic but rather necessary stages of growth until you become truly ready to spot signs from the universe that you are about to meet your real twin flame. In fact, some psychics and believers do not agree with the negative connotation of the term “false” for the same reason. They say that a false twin flame is someone who fulfills a positive purpose in your life, preparing you for your journey, before you meet your true twin.
For example, a user says on Quora, “We meet karmic partners and people who teach us lessons for the purpose of soul growth and spiritual awakening. These people lead us up to our twins.” False connections can simply be “uneventful”, “fizzled out” or “dispassionate”. Or they may just not feel right for you. The result is that the relationship will run its course and die down.
Unless, the relationship with your fake twin flame feels abusive in nature where you feel taken for granted, undervalued, ill-treated, and manipulated, there is no reason for panic and worry. Right now, all you need is to correctly identify your relationship so that you unnecessarily don’t waste your energy in trying to make an inauthentic twin flame relationship work when it is not meant to last. You should instead be focusing on trying to manifest your real twin flame.
The more you observe instances of false twin flame synchronicities, the more you will be able to spot these clear signs they are not your twin flame. Before it gets complicated further, let us take a look at some signs of a false connection.
Have You Met Your False Twin Flame? 17 Signs That Say So
Yours isn’t a fake connection just because you two had a few fights. You’d be surprised to find that even true twin flames are susceptible to major fights and even breakups (though they always find their way back to each other). So how, then, can you figure out what you have? With the help of the false twin flame signs we’ve listed out for you, that’s how. Let’s get right to it then:
1. It doesn’t feel overwhelming
If you can aptly describe your relationship to a friend as, “It’s nice. They are a nice person”, it probably isn’t worthy of the true twin status. A deep, all-encompassing spiritual connection usually takes a hold of you in such a relationship, all without ever making you obsessed.
If it feels more like a crush that doesn’t really make you feel a part of something bigger than yourself, it’s definitely a false twin flame sign. No, it’s not supposed to feel that way from day one itself. But if six months down the line you still have to wonder whether you’re in sync or not, then maybe you aren’t.
2. Personal space feels a little too good
Personal space is what holds a relationship together. Even in a dynamic where you’ve supposedly found your other half, reveling in the time you spend alone is healthy. It’s okay to spend a weekend apart or spend an evening or two glued to your respective devices.
But when you’re seeking more personal space in your relationship than warranted, it may mean that yours isn’t really the whole ‘part of a greater whole’ dynamic. When you’re actively seeking to be away from your partner, you’re subliminally telling yourself that yours is a false twin flame connection.
3. Your insecurities persist
A relationship as pure as the one we’re talking about today doesn’t leave any space for you to worry about the inhibitions you may have. Whether you’re meeting your partner for the third time or the thirtieth, thoughts like “Am I dressed well enough?”, “Will they like me?”, “Do they think I’m strange?” have no room in your mind.
Had it been the real deal, you would have felt ever so confident in your skin. When you’re worried about your insecurities to the point where they control your actions, it’s probably time to call a spade a spade. Being stuck in a false twin flame obsession will regenerate your past traumas, leaving you doubtful of yourself and everything that is happening around you.
4. What do fresh produce and your relationship have in common? No labels
Why do we meet false twins? Perhaps because the universe is giving you another chance to look for the one who’s truly meant for you. You know it’s a false flame if your partner fosters an enormous fear of commitment, which, in turn, comes in the way of defining your situationship.
When your dynamic doesn’t have a label, you automatically have another thing in common with fresh produce: neither is going to last very long. A lack of labels can hamper the growth of any relationship and floating about trying to ‘go with the flow’ will only lead you to choppy waters. One of the biggest false twin red flags is when you don’t know what to call whatever it is you have.
5. Opposites attract, but not in the case of true twins
Firm believers of ‘opposites attract‘ aren’t going to take too kindly to this one. One of the inherent qualities of a true twin flame relationship is the presence of uncanny similarities in ideologies, hobbies, and personality. So, the next time one of you wants to go clubbing while the other would much rather read a book from the comfort of their home, maybe you shouldn’t call yourselves a twin flame connection.
6. Sexual compatibility is all that holds you together
Yes, being sexually compatible with each other is what drives any relationship to the next level (except asexual bonds), but it’s definitely not the only thing that holds relationships together. In a true twin flame connection, the sexual aspect is just one segment of a beautiful life where the partners grow wiser and stronger together, hand in hand, overcoming every obstacle.
On the contrary, if you witness your false twin relationship before the true twin flame relationship came to your life, you will see that all you do when you two meet is throw your clothes on the ground and head straight to the bedroom. Now it may seem like you’ve found the co-star to your own rom-com, but it’s probably not something that you can call a spiritual connection.
7. Or, there’s minimal sexual compatibility
If you read the last point and went, “Ha! We barely ever get sexually intimate. Score!” Well, not really. A true twin flame relationship sits at a perfect mid-point between two extremes of low sexual compatibility and the point where physical intimacy is all that matters. In other words, sex does need to happen, unless true flames are asexual. On the other hand, false twins may have sexual desires but find them unfulfilled in a false twin relationship.
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8. Future plans couldn’t be further apart
You’ll go through many false twin flame relationships before your real twin flame comes around. And one of the few things that will be common among the fakes will be a disagreement on what the future looks like for the two of you. As a result, you’ll probably end up unhappy in your relationship.
If one wants to eventually own a campervan and travel around the countryside and the other wants an apartment on the 30th floor of a New York City apartment building, you probably aren’t made for each other. Consider these as tell-tale signs they are not your true twin flame and it’s probably high time to rethink your situation.
9. You don’t feel confident about your partner
Ask yourself, can you say with complete certainty that your partner loves, trusts, respects, and admires you? Lying to yourself isn’t allowed, it’s what got you into this relationship in the first place. One of the biggest false twin flame characteristics is when you’re not confident about what your partner feels for you. In a twin flame journey, you should have unshakeable security and certainty about your relationship, especially in testing times.
10. A false twin flame will give you anxiety
Fights are normal. In fact, the complete absence of fights usually indicates a bond that has yet to experience its true potential. How can you ever really know someone unless you drive them to the point of breaking that expensive china? But the biggest sign that a relationship isn’t the real deal is when your partner gives you anxiety. If you’re constantly worried about something going wrong, it’s important to understand that that’s not a part of being in a loving relationship.
11. Your false flame will let insecurities dictate their actions
Enough talking about you, let’s shift the focus to your partner. They’re probably not feeling too great about this whole scenario that’s going on. When in the hope of being with your ‘other half’, you end up in a toxic relationship, both you and your partner are bound to let your insecurities take over. Take note of how confident your partner is, how comfortable in their own skin they feel, and what they act like around you.
12. Trust and jealousy issues will be a constant
Sure, a little bit of jealousy can be healthy in a relationship if you both know how to handle it in the right way. But a false twin flame characteristic is when your dynamic constantly features jealousy and trust issues to the point where every friend becomes a ‘threat’. Trust issues become a recurrent menace in a false twin flame journey.
Related Reading: 12 Signs You Have Found Your Soulmate
13. Your relationship falters as you grow
A healthy relationship dynamic encourages the growth of your bond as you both grow individually. There is a reason why they are called your mirror soul. But when you meet a fake twin flame before the true twin flame relationship enters your life, you’ll realize that your individual growth may end up hampering the dynamic, owing to jibes like “You’ve changed”. This is one of the most prominent false soulmate connection stages you will go through.
14. You’re hesitant to be yourself
There isn’t really a better false twin flame vs real twin flame comparison than this one. In the real deal, you’ll be unapologetically yourself and your bond will thrive as a result. In a relationship plagued with insecurities, however, you’re going to think a million times before you make that light-hearted joke about your partner’s frilly dress.
False twin flame synchronicities will sabotage your authentic self. At times, you might find yourself tiptoeing around your partner because they have this magical manipulative power to make you feel guilty and take full responsibility for every falling-out your relationship has. As time passes, this unhealthy situationship will suffocate you more and more, and moving on from false twin flame will seem like a better prospect.
15. There won’t be a purpose to what you have
The biggest defining factor of a true twin flame bond is the purpose they inevitably arrive at: being on the road toward enlightenment by each other’s side. They show all the characteristics of a positive relationship and agree on all the fundamentals. But when the purpose of your dynamic is to survive the one-year mark so you can finally have the ‘best’ relationship amongst your friends, it’s time to rethink things.
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16. You don’t feel their presence when they’re not around
Wait, but isn’t that physically impossible? Well, yes, we obviously don’t mean that in the literal sense. When you’re in a relationship with your other half, you feel their energy with you, even if you’re not physically with them. On the contrary, telepathy with a false twin has the destructive power to inflict negative energy and hack your subconscious mind to alter your thoughts and feelings in a twisted way.
In a real twin flame, there will always be this strong psychic connection or telepathy in love, so you can feel the other person’s innermost emotions and sense when they are thinking about you. Spiritual compatibility such as this doesn’t come around very often, so don’t be disheartened if this enigmatic connection isn’t something you’ve felt yet.
17. When moving on doesn’t feel impossible
One of the biggest false twin flame characteristics is that when things seem to be dying down, it’s not impossible to move on. Let’s get this straight, breakups are hard, and letting go of someone you once loved is never an easy thing to do. But with an actual twin flame, moving on is an impossibly painful process. Even if years pass, they’re bound to be reunited and stick by each other. Moving on from a false twin flame, however, starts the minute you decide to employ the no-contact rule.
What To Do If You’ve Met Your False Twin Flame
The main purpose of meeting false flames is to walk through certain adverse experiences and bring in some changes in yourself for good, to finally help you reach the point of awakening. At this point, you can deduce what works for you in a relationship and what went wrong in the previous one.
If reading all the signs we listed out above has left you utterly confused about what you should do, we’ve got you covered. Did you think we’d just leave you hanging after telling you your partner is a false twin flame? So, should you say adieu and figure out how to get rid of a false twin flame, or accept that it’s okay if yours isn’t the best dynamic in the world? Should you keep up with their meat-loving ways while you’re a vegan, or vice versa? Let’s find out.
1. Take out that yellow legal pad, it’s pros & cons time
Now that you know your partner is probably not someone who you can call your ‘other half’ (unless you lie to your friends), or your companion on your real twin flame journey, you might think there’s no hope left for your dynamic. But did you know that a twin flame is different from a soulmate? This means, just because someone isn’t a twin flame, doesn’t mean you can’t hit it off with them.
Let’s put it this way: Not everyone comes across their twin flame. In fact, it’s believed you only meet your true twin flame once every few lifetimes. So, your chances of simply running into them across the street aren’t too high to begin with. Forget all about the false twin flame characteristics and analyze the pros and cons of your relationship. Ask yourself questions like:
- Does your partner make you happy?
- Is yours a healthy dynamic?
- Is there mutual trust, respect, communication, and love?
- Would you like to stay in this relationship?
- Do you believe this is the person you can end up with?
If the answers have been positive, there’s really no reason that you shouldn’t continue. Of course, if you’re hell-bent on trying to find your actual twin flame, you’re welcome to try and find this person. Good luck explaining that one to your current partner, though.
Related Reading: 13 Lesser-Known Psychological Facts About Soulmates
2. Commit to whatever you’ve decided
Whatever decision you come to, be it with the help of friends or through an ungodly amount of retrospection, make sure you commit to it. If you decide to stay, don’t be on those dating apps trying to find your actual twin flame. If you decide to leave your false flame for your true flame, do so with sincerity, and don’t contact your ex.
As far as your fake twin flame ex is considered, you may notice that for them it is easier to get over a breakup and they won’t be bothering you much. They might have started a new relationship already latching on to false hope pretty easily, thinking of that relationship too as their real twin flame union.
3. Cutting cords with a false twin flame
If you end up deciding to break up with your fake twin, or even a karmic relationship, remind yourself why you chose to do that. False flames can be energy vampires, draining you out. You are doing the right thing by focusing on your spiritual growth and keeping yourself available for your true twin. To cut cords with a false flame pay attention to the following:
- Focus on why you are doing it. Keep all those signs that you saw in your current relationship telling you that you are dealing with a false one handy. You are going to need it
- Be prepared for some confrontation. Once you tell your current twin that they might not be your true soulmate, it might come as a shock to them since they could be feeling the exact opposite for you. They are going to try to convince you otherwise
- Be prepared to feel a lot of emotions. You might even feel second-guess your decision for a bit when you see your false twin’s reaction
Related Reading: 8 Expert Tips To Let Go Of The Past And Be Happy
Moving On From False Twin Flame
So, after comparing different false flame vs twin flame attributes, if you decided to stay, good for you! Now make sure you’re the best partner you can be. But if you decided to leave, you need to start moving on from your false twin flame so you can look toward greener pastures where there is a possibility of encountering your mirror soul. But letting go of a deep connection even though it may not have been a soul connection is not easy. You are going to need help. Pay attention to the following:
- Acceptance of the situation: You must accept that the relationship is over. The breakup is going to cause you a lot of pain but you must accept that the pain is part of the process of reaching the next stage. Don’t be in denial of what just happened
- Acceptance of your emotions: It is okay to feel everything you are feeling. Even though it was a false twin you broke up with, it was a serious relationship strong enough to feel like a deep connection. Allow yourself to grieve. Give yourself the time you need
- Reach out to your support system: Do not isolate yourself at this time. Reach out to your friends and family. Spending time with them and sharing how you are feeling will provide you with security and the unconditional love you need right now
- Focus attention elsewhere: Do things you enjoy doing. This is the best time to think of new goals or hobbies. Focus on acquiring healthy habits and on self-growth
- Take care of yourself: Self-love and self-care can be invaluable parts of the healing process. They can really help you move on from this turbulent phase. Be kind to yourself. Eat well. Pay attention to your physical health
- HOPE: Above all of this, you must have hope. Do not mistake hope for obsession over what is going to happen next and where is your true twin flame. You must also have faith in your inner power that things are going to work out for you and that you are going to find your perfect match at the right time. And then let go of your worry
- Relationship with a true twin flame is an intense spiritual, physical, and emotional connection. But before meeting your mirror soul it’s normal to find a fake twin flame, or a few
- To counter twin flame confusion, there are many common signs to learn how to recognize your twin flame, real or fake. One can also take a true twin flame test which can work as a false twin flame test if the answers are all ‘No’
- False twin flame signs include minimal sexual compatibility or the overbearing presence of sexual chemistry being the only thing holding the relationship
- False twin will give you more anxiety than peace. They might remind you of past mistakes. Gradually you would feel past issues arising in your life as if they are an unpleasant manifestation of your past karma
- Signs of a false twin flame also include trust and jealousy, unsettling gut feelings, insecurities, commitment issues, desire to self-destruct, or constantly feel sad
- You must decide what you wish to do with this relationship and then stick by it. Cutting cords with a false twin flame is not easy but is essential to meet your future mirror soul
If you look back at your journey, you would notice how far you have come. Recognizing and then letting go of a false twin flame is part of the healing process. Constantly striving to learn and evolve is the only way you’ll develop greater emotional and sexual compatibility with the partner you eventually decide on. Don’t get too fixated on the idea of a twin flame; try to find someone who makes you feel good. It can be as simple as that!
This article has been updated in February 2023.
You meet a false twin flame so you can truly appreciate the real one. You make connections in your life to learn from and to prepare yourself for the real meaningful one. And if you don’t, you probably won’t even be able to tell when the real one comes about.
It’s unlikely that a false connection can turn into a real twin flame, since such a person is said to have been woven from the fabric of your energy, hence being termed your “other half”.
Though it may sound like the most wonderful union in the world, twin flame relationships aren’t always rainbows and butterflies. It’s possible your dynamic may turn toxic, but it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to stay away from your twin flame, even if they’re toxic. In such cases, seeking help from professional couple’s therapists can help.