You know how all the movies and the poems talk about being a part of a greater whole with a romantic lover? A twin flame makes you feel just that. In fact, a twin flame might just be the “love at first sight” relationship we see in the movies. And for good reason, too. Such a dynamic feels destined. With this person, you feel complete. In our romanticism-fueled search for that person, we’re likely to come across a few false twin flames first before the real deal comes along.
It can be hard to tell the difference between an actual twin flame vs a false twin flame, owing to how difficult it can be to label what you have with another person. Heck, for the longest time, best friends Monica and Chandler from F.R.I.E.N.D.S didn’t even know what they had was a bit more than just a friendship.
Whether you’re trying to ascertain that what you have isn’t a knock-off version of what you want or if you’re just trying to educate yourself, we’re here to tell you all you’ll ever need to know about false twin flames.
What Are False Twin Flames?
To understand what a false twin flame is, you first need to know what a real one is. Speaking on the subject, astrologer Kreena previously told Bonobology how she defines such a relationship in simple words. “Someone who completes you, someone who makes you feel whole.”
Such a dynamic features an intense spiritual, physical, and emotional connection. Claimed to be a person’s literal other half, it’s no surprise that such a couple always feels magnetically drawn towards each other. The compatibility and similarities they share allow them to be a perfect fit for each other.
It’s the kind of relationship that people look at and go, “Wow, they were made for each other.” A false twin flame, on the other hand, can elicit remarks like “Wow, they’re pretty obsessed with each other, aren’t they?”
A relationship as pure and divine as a twin flame dynamic doesn’t rely on obsession and infatuation to make it strong. Since false twin flames aren’t really spiritually connected, it gives room for forces like limerence to take hold.
Simply put, everything a real twin flame connection is, a false twin flame is not. It may feel like it, but the issues will eventually slip through the cracks, weakening the entire foundation of your bond.
But since your infatuated mind may be trying to convince you that what you have can in no way be fake, it’s hard to realize that and spot the differences. Let’s take a look at the signs, post which you’ll either leave extremely happy or with a lot of thinking to do. In case it’s the former, you’re welcome. If it’s the latter, hey, at least now you know you deserve better. You’re welcome.
Related Reading: How Do You Know You Love Someone – 11 Signs That Say So
Have You Met Your False Twin Flame? 17 Signs That Say So
No, yours isn’t a fake version of the real thing just because you two had a few fights recently. No, just because your partner can’t read your mind doesn’t mean you’re not meant to be. You’d be surprised to find that even twin flames are susceptible to major fights and even breakups (though they always find their way back to each other).
So how then, can you figure out what you have? With the help of the false twin flame signs we’ve listed out for you, that’s how. Let’s get right to it then:
1. It doesn’t feel overwhelming
If you can aptly describe your relationship to a friend as “It’s nice. S/he’s a nice person,” it probably isn’t worthy of the twin flame status. A deep, all-encompassing spiritual connection usually takes a hold of you in such a relationship, all without ever making you obsessed.
If it feels more like a fleeting crush that doesn’t really make you feel a part of something bigger than yourself, it’s definitely a false twin flame sign.
No, it’s not supposed to feel that way from day one. But if six months down the line you still have to think about how in-sync you both are, perhaps you aren’t as in-sync as you thought.
2. Personal space feels a little too good
Personal space is what holds a relationship together. Even in a dynamic where you’ve supposedly found your other half, reveling in the time you spend alone is not a sin. It’s okay to spend a weekend apart or spend an evening or two glued to your video games.
But when you’re seeking more personal space in your relationship than what’s warranted, it may mean that yours isn’t really the whole “part of a greater whole” dynamic. When you’re actively seeking to be away from your partner, you’re subliminally telling yourself that yours is a false twin flame.
3. Your insecurities persist
A relationship as pure as the one we’re talking about today doesn’t leave any space for you to worry about the inhibitions you may have. Whether you’re meeting your partner for the third time or the thirtieth, thoughts like “Am I dressed well enough?”, “Will s/he like me?”, “Do they think I’m lame?”, have no room in your mind.
When you’re worried about your insecurities to the point where they control your actions, it’s probably time to call a spade a spade.
4. What do fresh produce and your relationship have in common? No labels
When your dynamic doesn’t have a label, you automatically develop another thing in common with the fresh produce: neither is going to last very long.
A lack of labels can hamper the growth of any relationship and floating about trying to “go with the flow” will only lead you to choppy waters. One of the biggest false twin flame signs is when you don’t know what to call whatever it is you have.
5. Opposites attract, but not twin flames
Firm believers of “opposites attract” aren’t going to take too kindly to this one. One of the inherent qualities of a twin flame relationship is the presence of uncanny similarities in ideologies, hobbies, and personality.
So, the next time one of you wants to go clubbing while the other would much rather read a book from the comfort of their home, maybe you shouldn’t call yourselves a twin flame connection.
6. The sexual compatibility is palpable, but it’s also all that holds you together
Yes, being sexually compatible with each other is what drives any relationship to the next level (except asexual bonds), but it’s definitely not the only thing that holds relationships together.
If all you do when you two meet is throw your clothes on the ground and head straight to the bedroom, it may seem like you’ve found the co-star to your own rom-com, but it’s probably not something that you can call a spiritual connection.
7. Or, there’s minimal sexual compatibility
If you read the last point and went, “Ha! We barely ever get sexually intimate. Score!” Well, not really. In a twin flame relationship, there needs to be the perfect balance between low sexual compatibility and the point where physical intimacy is all that matters. In other words, sex does need to happen.
8. Future plans couldn’t be further apart
You’ll come across many false twin flames before your real twin flame comes around. And one of the few things that will be common among the fakes will be a disagreement on what the future looks like for the two of you. As a result, you’ll probably end up being unhappy in your relationship.
If one wants to eventually own a campervan and travel around the countryside and the other wants an apartment on the 30th floor of a New York City apartment building, you probably aren’t made for each other, are you?
9. You don’t feel confident about your partner
Ask yourself, can you say with complete certainty that your partner loves, trusts, respects and admires you? Lying to yourself isn’t allowed, it’s what got you into this mess in the first place.
One of the biggest false twin flame characteristics is when you’re not confident about what your partner feels for you.
10. A false twin flame will give you anxiety
Fights are normal. In fact, the complete absence of fights usually indicates a bond that has yet to experience its true potential. How can you ever really know someone unless you drive them to the point of breaking that expensive china?
But the biggest sign that false twin flames aren’t the real deal is when your partner gives you anxiety. If you’re constantly worried about something going wrong, it’s important to understand that that’s not a part of being in a loving relationship.
11. Your false twin flame will let insecurities dictate their actions
Enough talking about you, let’s shift the focus to your partner. They’re probably not feeling too great about this whole false twin flame scenario that’s going on. When under the promise of being your “other half”, you end up in a toxic relationship, both you and your partner are bound to let your insecurities take over.
Take note of how confident your partner is, how comfortable in their own skin they feel and what they act like around you.
Related Reading: 12 Signs You Have Found Your Soulmate
12. Trust and jealousy issues will be a constant
Sure, a little bit of jealousy can be healthy in a relationship if you both know how to handle it in the right way. But a false twin flame characteristic is when your dynamic constantly features trust and jealousy issues to the point where each friend now becomes a “threat”.
13. Your relationship falters as you grow
A healthy dynamic encourages the growth of your bond as you both grow individually. But when you meet a false twin flame before the real twin flame, you’ll realize that your growth may end up hampering the dynamic owing to jibes like, “You’ve changed.”
14. You’re hesitant to be yourself
There isn’t really a better twin flame vs false twin flame comparison than this one. In the real deal, you’ll be unapologetically yourself and your bond will thrive as a result. In a relationship plagued with insecurities, however, you’re going to think a million times before you make that joke about your partner’s weight gain.
15. There won’t be a purpose to what you have
The biggest defining factor of a twin flame bond is the purpose they inevitably arrive at: being on the road toward enlightenment, by each other’s side. They show all the characteristics of a positive relationship and agree on all the fundamentals.
When the purpose of your dynamic is to survive till the one-year mark so you can finally have the “best” relationship amongst your friend group, it’s time to re-think things.
Related Reading: Cosmic Connection – You Don’t Meet These 9 People By Accident
16. You don’t feel their presence when they’re not around
Wait, but isn’t that physically impossible? Well, yes, we obviously don’t mean that in the literal sense. When you’re with your other half, you feel their energy with you, even if you’re not physically with them.
Bonds such as that don’t come around very often, so don’t be disheartened if this enigmatic connection isn’t something you’ve felt.
17. When moving on doesn’t feel impossible
One of the biggest false twin flame characteristics is that when things seem to be dying down, it’s not impossible to move on. Let’s get this straight, breakups are hard and moving on from someone is never an easy thing to do.
But with an actual twin flame, moving on is an impossible process. Even if years pass, they’re bound to be reunited and stick by each other. Moving on from a false twin flame, however, ended the minute you decided to employ the no-contact rule; you probably didn’t even have anything worthwhile.
What To Do If You’ve Met Your False Twin Flame
If reading all the signs we listed out above has left you utterly confused about what you should do, we’ve got you covered. Did you think we’d just leave you hanging after telling you what you might have?
So, should you say adieu and figure out how to get rid of a false twin flame, or accept that it’s okay if yours isn’t the best dynamic in the world? Should you keep up with their meat-loving ways while you’re a vegan? Let’s find out.
1. Take out that yellow legal pad, it’s pros & cons time
Now that you know your partner is probably not someone who you can call your “other half” (unless you lie to your friends), you might think there’s no hope left for your dynamic. But did you know that a twin flame is different from a soulmate? This means, just because someone isn’t a twin flame, doesn’t mean you can’t hit it off with them.
Let’s put it this way: not everyone comes across their twin flame. In fact, it’s believed you only meet your twin flame once every few lifetimes. So, your chances of simply running into them across the street aren’t too high to begin with.
Forget all about the false twin flame characteristics and analyze the pros and cons of your relationship. Ask yourself questions like:
- Does your partner make you happy?
- Is yours a healthy dynamic?
- Is there mutual trust, respect, communication and love?
- Would you like to stay in this relationship?
- Do you believe this is the person you can end up with?
If the answers have been positive, there’s really no reason why you shouldn’t continue. Of course, if you’re hellbent on trying to find your actual twin flame, you’re welcome to try and find this person. Good luck explaining that one to your current partner, though.
2. Commit to whatever you’ve decided
Whatever decision you come to, be it with the help of friends or through an ungodly amount of retrospection, make sure you commit to it. If you decide to leave, do so with sincerity and don’t contact your ex. If you decide to stay, don’t be on those dating apps trying to find your actual twin flame.
Related Reading: We Are Soul Mates But Does He Desire Me As Much As I Desire Him?
3. Think of the next step
Have you decided to stay? Great, now make sure you’re the best partner you can be. Have you decided to leave? Great, now start moving on from a false twin flame so you can look towards greener pastures.
Life goes on, and constantly striving to learn and evolve is the only way you’ll develop greater emotional and sexual intimacy with the partner you eventually decide on. Don’t get too fixated on the idea of a twin flame; try to find someone who makes you feel good. It can be as simple as that!
Just as there are bad days in life so you can appreciate the good ones, you meet a false twin flame so you can truly appreciate the real one. You meet many false twin flames in your life, and if you don’t, you probably won’t even be able to tell when the real one comes about.
It’s unlikely that a false twin flame can turn into a real twin flame, since such a person is said to have been woven from the fabric of your energy, hence being termed your “other half”.
Though it may sound like the most wonderful union in the world, a twin flame relationship isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. It’s possible your dynamic may turn toxic, but it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to stay away from your twin flame, even if they’re toxic. In such cases, seeking help from professional couples therapists can help.